Thank for reading this story!
Even though I rated those story as Rate T, I hadn't even gotten myself into any smutty scenes yet.
I'm still an amatuer and I still practising. So for now, I just leave it to your imagination for what Ulquiorra would do next. Innocence didn't really have much effect in my dictionary.
Disclaimers: I do not own Bleach and their characters (definitely); they are all masterpieces from Kubo-sensei~
I used italic word to describe the thought of the characters or maybe it just some strong feeling of characters I want to put in to that word.
TEAR
"Ulquiorra. Have you ever cried before?"
The question came out of no where.
Well, he at least had already expected all kind of her bizarre questions as much as he did when this woman suddenly asked for his company every night.
But still, he was surprised every time she asked him odd questions that had never ever occurred in his hollow life at all.
His eyes opened widely for a moment and then returned to normal emotionless state. He tried to search for an answer that could make sense to her.
"We hollows don't cry, woman." He said with his cold voice.
Indeed, hollows didn't cry. He had never seen any crying hollows before.
Crying was weakness. While hollows continuously seek for stronger power, they didn't need such weak and useless ability like crying.
Even Ulquiorra hadn't ever shed tears before. He believed there was nothing called human's fluid flowing inside his body.
He, Ulquiorra Cifer, Cuatro Espada, didn't have any tears or blood. They had already dried up for a long time as much as he could remember.
The only things left were the tear marks from his face and blood mark from his chest when he returned to his true form.
Crying was what made human "human". And he wasn't a human. That was the only thing he was sure about.
If there was anything like liquid coming from the eyes, it was just a product of a process of cleaning those eyes.
Starrk usually had that every time he woke up. And in each every time he also had to use his hands to wipe those eyes because there was too little water to clean it.
Yet the woman he was in charge right now had too much water in her eyes.
That was why he hated that. He hated every time he saw the woman crying.
Even when he didn't see, he also hated the sound of her sobbing.
Because no matter what he did, he couldn't stop her tear from flowing. From normal talking to the point of threatening seemed useless to that woman's tears.
In once time that he caught her crying while still talking and facing her back to him. And everything went downhill since then at that time.
He could only be still just like a wall for that woman to lean on. And every time she did that, he swore that he could feel his tear marks were going to burn under his hard skin along with her tears.
He kept wondering what this woman did to him. Why did her tears keep bothering him?
And the fact that he realized that he was bothered irked him. He didn't have any answer for that question.
Once time in the woman's room, his curiosity got him and made him speak his thought out loud.
"Why do you humans like to shed tears for nonsense things? What's the purpose for that?"
"I cry because I feel sad."
"I don't understand. Why do you have to feel sad?"
"If people I love got hurt and might die, I will be sad. And so I'm here crying for them."
"Crying won't help them alive." His words voiced out just like cold water pouring down to her.
Orihime expressed a face that she understood thoroughly his words. But still for some reasons, she wanted to express herself by crying out loud rather than keeping it inside her every time he was standing in front of her.
She thought that she was just like a glass which had been already broken in some way. All of her tears that she had hold up until now just kept reacting occurring to his cold and harsh words.
She knew that he was saying the truth. And she knew that his truth was hurtful to her to the point that the glass inside her started to crack bits by bits and the water holding inside kept leaking out until it completely flew out of control and dried off.
He kept getting on her nerve, but she still couldn't resist everything that he said. For some reason, his company with her every night had become a routine for both.
She expressed what she really thought in her mind to him to the point of shamelessly crying in front of him. So did him.
Although his words were still as cold as ever, at least he didn't ignore her.
He answered all of the questions that she asked him despite how odd and strange they sounded in his own way.
Since when did she become like that every time she was with him?
"Then, it's just…"
"Just…?"
"… It's just a way that I can say goodbye to them or support myself. If I smile while crying then it would mean that I accept the fact that they are leaving and hope they would have their happiness in the other world. If I don't smile while crying then it only means that I don't want they go away."
"Then what about that shinigami?" Didn't you both cry and smile for him?
If you didn't want to separate from him, you should not react like that with him at all. Because that would mean you just willingly sacrifice yourself here.
Foolish woman.
"Eh? What do you mean?"
Among all of the things he had said, what hurt her most was probably when he talked about her nakama, especially about her Kurosaki-kun.
At first, it was just the confirmation for her feeling with them.
Later, he was more suggestive to come up any scenarios from bad to worst about them and asked for her feeling for those terrible scenarios without any consideration about her thought inside at all.
What an insensible man.
"Your nakama. If you know that they are going to die later, would you still shed tear for them?"
It was a silly question that he had ever asked her because he was sure of what her answer would be.
But she still kept surprising him when her answer was a bit different than what he would expect. Even if there was a bit of hesitation in her eyes, she didn't cry this time.
"I don't know. I don't want any of them die." After she said that sentence, she turned her head away and didn't look at him.
Ulquiorra looked at her body trembling.
One of her hand curled up like a fist while the other held off the arm of that fist, just like she was trying to keep something inside her from bursting out.
Strangely, he knew what "something" inside her was.
He thought that she was a strong woman.
But this woman kept hiding the fact that she was strong in front of others and even didn't realize that.
And here at that time now, he wanted her to let it out in front of him, rather than secretly in other place that he didn't know.
Because every time she did that, she didn't eat any food at all.
After all, he was in charge of her well-being, according to Aizen-sama's order, of course.
If she kept refusing everything that he offered her, then it would only mean that he failed his mission. That would suffer for both of them.
"If they were stupid enough to come there without considering their own strength, they would meet their death sooner or later."
Indeed, if they came here and challenged him without knowing their own strength which was inferior to his, he would label them as "trash" and "stupid."
And as long as he let them go back by their own without killing them, then that woman didn't have to shed any useless tear anymore.
Because surely at that time, he would tell her that her nakama had already abandoned her, so stop crying anymore.
Ulquiorra really hated her tears, and he hated more if her tears were shed for that weak and ignorant shinigami trash which never had any thought about her at all.
But still he couldn't be help to fascinate about everything she did, even crying.
She was usually exhausted herself by crying too much for a day.
After she extracted all of her tears at once time, she would become weak, small, and helpless, fainting and falling asleep in his arms.
Only when that time came, Ulquiorra realized that he really treasured this silent time in her room.
The only silent time that he could fully observe his woman without making her cry or angry at him.
JinxJen's note:
Argh, I was crying when I wrote this story. As for the reasons, I don't really know myself. I guess I let too much sentiment got to my head.
Orihime's timid character was one of the points that made her beautiful and I really don't want her to discard that trait.
So I wrote this oneshot about her tear and Ulquiorra's thought about that.
Maybe there were a lot of mix feeling for both like and dislike. But overall, I would prefer her crying more, but still standing strong. I think I was on the way to become S here. He he.
