Author's Notes: Thank you all you wonderful reviewers: kmddeprez1122, Mandy Dandy, x-rayLady, LehcarMarie, emma, Miamore, Mason14, banananasbff123, Isabella, midtwilight, sophie gate, lena m., Aiyami Sakura, tooki13, and amethyst! You're the best ^_^
In this chapter, Nessie wakes up from her exhausted slumber, and finds Brazil to be as crowded as ever.
Disclaimer: The Twilight saga and all characters therein are the creation of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this fanfiction and no copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter Fifteen
Guilt
When I awoke, I thought I was sleeping in a cloud. It was all white, puffy, soft, and my eyes fluttered open and then closed again. It was too bright. I was sore all over and I sank further down into the pillows.
Although my eyes were closed, I was no longer asleep, and I thought about all that had happened. Demetri, dead. Me, swimming and running and flying. New Year's Eve.. the party… fireworks… stares… Jacob! But was it really Jacob? A wave of fear paralyzed me. I was afraid to open my eyes.
The Volturi must have found me and sent Heidi, just as they had with Aylen, and lured me into safety… I'm so sorry, I thought toward the real Jacob, who had no way of knowing where I was.
The room was quiet and all I could hear was the gentle crash of the ocean waves outside, the low distant hum of a street-cleaning machine, the sound of my own heartbeat in my ears… and another person breathing.
A heartbeat.
I flew upward, eyes wide open. Jacob sat across the room from me.
Not daring to believe, I took a deep breath and drank in his scent, moss and pine and fur and wildness. That was him, his strong heartbeat thudding in his chest… that was him, rising swiftly to come to me, hands reaching out clasp mine.
I didn't trust my voice, so I just thought, Jacob? Is that really you?
"Of course it's me," he said, sitting down on the bed next to me, one hand now reaching around my back to support me, the other caressing my cheek. "Ness. Ness. I thought I'd lost you." His deep voice broke. His face was held taut, but his eyes poured out a million things, fear and relief, anger and love, panic and joy.
I waited. This couldn't be a trick, could it? After the distance I'd placed between myself and safety, it seemed impossible that Jacob was here, in Rio, with me. I – I'm sorry, but I can't be sure it's you.
Hurt passed through his eyes. "What do you mean?"
I already saw you once. I flashed him an image of Heidi, looking like Jacob, in that dusty courtyard. It wasn't you. I – I don't trust anything anymore.
He looked very worried and peered into my eyes, the way a person might do with someone ill. "I see." He reached into his pocket and pulled out an object I recognized. "You left this in your room."
It was the Quileute bracelet that belonged on my bare wrist.
I fell forward against him, tucking my head into the crook of his neck. Jacob. Jake, I'm so sorry. I've been so stupid.
"Shh," he said. "It's okay." He helped me put the bracelet back on my wrist. His strong fingers brushed the skin of my wrist and expertly closed the tiny clasp. He was solemn about it, as if this meant even more than I imagined. Then he pulled me into his lap and our embrace was a perfect fit. How could I have thought to leave this? How could I have been so angry, when he was so wonderful? I was whole, I was safe, I was with him.
We stayed like that for a long time. His hands held me like I was breakable doll, touching me gently, his chin resting on top of my head.
A soft knock on the door interrupted us. Who's that? I asked with a shiver of anxiety.
"Room service," said Jacob, grinning. "Wait here."
As if I ever wanted to leave this comfortable bed, this cloud of pillows, and his embrace!
I heard the door open and a deferential human voice say, "Allow me?"
"I've got it, thanks." I heard the crinkle of money (Jacob must have tipped him) and the metallic clink of a tray passing into Jacob's hands. The door closed and Jacob carried a massive, shining, silver filigreed tray and set it down on the table. "Hungry?"
"I'm not sure," I said, the first thing aloud. My voice sounded surprisingly normal.
"You sure know how to pick 'em, Ness. I'm so glad you're back, now I can relax and actually enjoy the best restaurant south of Forks!"
I laughed. "What's the best restaurant north of Forks?"
"The Lodge, of course!" He took off the metal cover and a rich aroma filled the room. "But this Cipriani is a passable second place."
I sniffed. "Is that… veal?"
Jacob flourished dramatically. "With foie gras – I'm taking French, you know – and truffles and a tom-ah-to tart."
"Wow." I giggled at Jacob's ridiculous airs.
"Do you mind if I eat? I haven't had an appetite while you were…"
I looked down guiltily. "Please, eat! It makes me feel normal to see you stuffing your face."
He grinned at me and dug in with the solid silver cutlery. The dish was gone within a few minutes and he moved on to the next – partridge with figs in a chianti wine sauce. "Okay, you're eating something now," he said after finished. There was one more small plate on the tray.
Jacob helped me up out of bed. I noticed that I wore a white cotton nightshirt and socks. Also, my rib was no longer sore. Confused, I placed a hand on my side. It was taped up.
Wait a minute, I thought to Jacob. What day is it? Who taped my rib?
"Sit down," he ordered, easing me into the armchair next to the table. "This one's for you." He uncovered the plate to reveal a potato stuffed with egg and gruyere cheese, sprinkled with black truffles. A small, rich pink round of raw filet mignon nestled up next to the potato, leaking a delicious trickle of blood.
Maybe I am hungry, I thought, and Jacob smiled as he released my hand.
I sliced off a delicate piece of the filet mignon, popped it in my mouth, and my eyes widened. It almost melted in my mouth. "Oh, wow!"
"I know, right?"
"While I'm eating, please tell me what's happening," I said. "I feel so confused, and I hate not knowing what's happening."
"I know you do," said Jacob, reaching across the table to squeeze my hand. "Okay. It's January second. You've been out of it since New Year's Eve. And Carlisle taped your rib. He had to re-break it, it was healing crooked, but you should be fine now."
"Carlisle? He's here?"
"Everyone's here," said Jacob. "And boy, are you in trouble."
I swallowed. "Tell me everything."
Jacob sat back in his chair. His eyes wandered to the ceiling as if trying to figure out how to describe something beyond words. He took a deep breath, held it, then let it out slowly. "After you left, I went a little crazy. I couldn't get back into human form for days. I could barely think straight. It wasn't safe for me to be around anyone."
I winced. I could only imagine.
"Seth finally talked me down; he and Leah stayed transformed with me. Leah's pretty mad at you, but you know how she is. In the meantime, your parents were calling around, trying to find you; the Denalis hadn't heard anything, and you hadn't taken any flights… we thought you'd maybe just gone for a drive, that you'd come back."
The pain in his voice made me ache with guilt. I'd really messed things up. I'd put him through so much torment, all because I'd been self-centered… Seeing the expression on my face, Jacob shook his head.
"Don't apologize yet," he said. "I don't blame you for running away. This was all my fault."
"No! No, Jake, it was mine –"
"Stop," he said, holding up a hand. "We can do this later. I need to tell you everything first."
I shut up and nodded.
"When Christmas morning came and went, we realized that you weren't just taking a drive. Alice tried to see where you were, but she got a lot of nothing. I think it terrified her, not being able to foresee whether we'd ever see you again…"
Shoot.
"You weren't picking up your phone, and we couldn't think of anything to do except wait. And then I went to Esme's haunted house. I could… it reminded me of you. Your smell everywhere. I could almost see you at your computer. And then I found your printouts of that stuff on Mendel, your hacker project."
I opened my mouth, because this was still a very relevant topic. How much did Jake know about Mendel? We might not be safe, even now…
"I thought you'd probably gone to South America to look for your friend."
"You know me well," I admitted.
Jacob's mouth quirked. "Well, it turns out that running to South America is kind of a family tradition."
I raised my eyebrows, puzzled.
"Yeah, your dad kind of did the same thing when he and Bella broke up."
"They – broke up?" I was shocked. I'd never imagined them having anything but an unbreakable love.
"I'll let them tell you about that," said Jacob. "But apparently Edward bolted for South America so that he could angst about it on his own." He rolled his eyes. "You take after Edward a lot, actually…" A musing tone crept into his voice. Then he shuddered. "Anyway. I'd already booked a flight down here when Alice had a vision."
"The coffin," I whispered.
"Yeah," Jacob whispered back, and the look in his eyes was fathomless. "That got us in gear. Everybody's here except for Charlie and Sue; they've gone back to Forks, but they're seriously worried. Charlie doesn't think people should go to South America, ever."
I laughed shortly. Bella had told me about her confinement while pregnant with me, and how she'd told Charlie that she'd caught a rare South American disease. Poor Charlie; no wonder he had a prejudice against this continent.
"We got here and found out that Renee Masen," he arched an eyebrow at me, "had checked into this hotel, but reported missing by one of the hotel drivers. We talked to him and he kind of freaked out. He said that he'd driven you to an address in the suburbs and you'd gone into the house and never came out. He also said that he blacked out for awhile; when he came-to, he went into the house after you, but… you were gone."
I finished the steak and the potato; it was the best human food I'd ever had.
Jacob wouldn't take his eyes off of me, as though he was afraid he would blink and I'd disappear, like a leprechaun.
"Jake, I'm so sorry…"
"We went to the house, Edward and Bella and I. It was empty, but the scent…"
I knew what he was about to say.
"It was thick with vampire," Jacob said, and his hands quivered slightly. "We… thought the worst, for awhile. Your trail vanished. So we came back here and waited. I washed your Jaguar, it was covered in mud. I… I've just been waiting."
Thick tears flowed down my cheeks. I stood up and walked over to him, and he pulled me into his lap. I curled up and planted a soft kiss on his throat, where his collar opened. He sighed.
"But you were there… when I came out of the ocean," I said.
"We'd been standing on the balcony, watching the party. They said over a million people on the beach. Edward couldn't even speak, he was so busy scanning, concentrating, looking for your mind. Like a needle in a haystack. But then he found you. Heard your thoughts. It was because you were saying my name."
I squeezed closer. I had been thinking of Jacob as I swam. I passed him the memory.
"We went down into the party, everyone except for Jasper. The emotions and the humanity… it was too much for him. But I was there, and your parents, and Alice and Emmett and Carlisle and Esme, even Rosalie, scattered along the beach, holding champagne that we didn't drink, waiting for you.
"You came ashore. To me And then you collapsed." Jacob finished by taking a long drink of water, and set the crystal down on the silver tray with a motion that seemed too precise for the largeness of his hands.
I lay still in the crook of his arm. The air was filled with our breathing; his, calm, and mine, quick with grief. "Oh, God, Jake. I was desperate to get back to you. I was never going to stay away forever. I was running back to you." I raised my face so that it was close to his.
His breath was hot on my face, his lips so close. He tilted his head down and –
There was a knock on the door.
"That'll be everyone," he said.
I bolted upright, barely noticing the twinge in my ribcage. After two days it would be almost healed.
"Jacob! There's so much more. I – I've discovered something terrible. Come on!" I rushed toward the door and yanked it open.
Edward and Bella stood in the threshold to the next room. I didn't even see the expressions on their faces; I flung myself into their arms, trembling and stammering. After awhile I noticed that Bella held me in a tight and unrelenting hug, and that Edward's hand moved over my hair in a soothing motion, and that he was saying, "Shh, don't cry, everything's fine now, everything's fine."
I'd wondered if I would ever see my parents again. I felt awful. I'd jeopardized eternal happiness. They weren't just a couple; it didn't feel right until it was the three of us together, and Jacob, too. I sensed Jacob behind me. I was surrounded, I was safe.
None of us pulled away; instead it was Alice's squeak and Rosalie's cry that interrupted. My aunts threw themselves at me, Alice wrapping her thin arms around my waist, Rosalie grabbing me by the shoulders and staring into my eyes. "Renesmee," Rosalie almost shouted, "do you have any idea how much you scared us? Don't ever do that again!" Her words were angry but her voice trembled.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered.
"Hey, kiddo," said Emmett, appearing at Rose's shoulder. He was uncharacteristically somber.
"Sorry," I said, thinking of him having to calm a frenetic Rosalie these past two weeks.
"It's okay," he said, seeming to know what I meant.
Behind them stood Jasper, looking composed, and Esme and Carlisle. They said nothing as I stepped forward to embrace them; their quiet happiness was written on their faces.
I needed to say something now, with everyone gathered. "I know I ruined Christmas. I acted selfish and immature and I'm really, really sorry." I looked from one face to the next. I felt a wave of calm from Jasper's direction; I was already forgiven.
"Renesmee, it's all right," said Bella. She smiled at Edward. "You're not the first one in this family to freak out a little."
"She's right," said Edward sheepishly.
I gave them a wan smile. "But at Christmas?"
"There will be more than enough Christmases to make up for it," said Carlisle. "How is your rib feeling?"
"It feels a lot better. Thanks," I said.
"We used a local anesthetic, but you were asleep the whole time," said Carlisle.
"You must have been exhausted," added Esme, looking sympathetic.
"I feel rested now," I said, conscious of all eyes on me, as though I were about to break. I looked around at my family. My talented family.
It was so easy to feel invincible amongst them. I was used to being protected and loved, and I felt myself falling right back into that pattern of letting others worry. But outside the luxurious walls of the hotel, something very bad was happening.
Edward's brow furrowed, hearing my thoughts.
"Mom, Dad," I said, "can I talk to you? Alone?"
"Of course," said Bella.
"It's just that a lot's happened," I said, turning to the rest of the family. "I need to tell someone about it, and then they can tell you, and we can maybe… figure things out."
"Of course," said Esme, echoing Bella.
"Let's go in here," I said, gesturing to the room where I'd slept. Jacob followed us and removed the tray to the hallway outside to be picked up. Then he closed the door and came to sit down next to me.
He seemed to know that "alone" included him, always.
"Okay," I said, "I'll tell Jacob and Mom with my hands, and Dad, you can read me, too."
Edward and Bella glanced at each other, and we all sat down together. I clasped Jacob's hand with my left, Bella's with my right, and recycled back to the start of it all.
For my parents' benefit, I told them about my internet friends, especially PeuChen91, about Mendel the hacker, about our little mystery, about her disappearance, about my worries that she'd been found by a criminal.
I skipped over my days of driving and sailing and showed them my arrival in Rio.
Me, in this hotel, planning out the next day. The taxi, the driver, the cement-brick house. The empty rooms and then Nahuel. How PeuChen91 was his half-sister, a hybrid. Then, the faces I would never forget. Alec. Demetri.
All three of them gasped.
Darkness. Fear. Waking up in a white room. Demetri: "Do not attempt escape." Govinda the missing businessman, the new vampire, the head-hunter. "A suitable candidate." Me and Nahuel.
Jacob growled.
Chelsea, breaking my family bonds, tying me to the Volturi. How I wanted to hold Nahuel's hand, be with him.
Jacob growled even louder.
The courtyard at dusk. Heidi, and I saw her as Jacob, the one I desired most. Running for the river. "Up the river." "Training facility." The hovercraft. Me, slipping off backwards into the muddy river, swimming hard…
"Oh, God, Nessie," Edward groaned.
Demetri. Gaining. Closer, closer. My heart sped up as I relived it. Bella's eyes were saucers of horror; Jacob looked grim. The beach.
The rest came in bursts, images and screams and wrenching flesh and fighting and snarling and my thoughts, streaming out of my mind like weapons, distracting Demetri only just long enough to rip him apart. Me, watching coldly as his ashes floated out to sea… Me, swimming, exhausted, driven, hunted. Then the rest, my journey across half the continent, and washing ashore into the world's biggest New Year's party, and Jacob waiting for me at the end of it.
Edward's eyes were closed, his lavender lids squeezed together. Bella said, "Oh, my darling, my poor baby," and clenched my hand with both of hers, holding it to her breast. Jacob's fingers twitched with the desire to transform, or to punch something.
"So you see," I said aloud, "there's a lot that's been happening."
"Renesmee Carlie Cullen…" said Edward.
Uh oh.
"You are grounded!" Edward's eyes were a little wild. "For the next, oh, hundred years!"
I couldn't be mad at him. He was just sick with worry, realizing how close he'd been to losing his little girl. Besides, he wasn't serious.
"Oh, yes I am."
"Edward," said Bella gently.
"I'm in favor of this policy, too," offered Jacob.
I shot him a 'hey, thanks' look.
"You can be grounded with me!" Jacob said.
"I'm a grown woman," I said. "You can't ground me, even if I am in high school. And I'm so sorry about all this. I know I've endangered everything."
Edward's mouth relaxed. "That's not your fault."
"She couldn't have known about this," said Bella. "None of us could have."
"But, Alice…?" I said. Then I answered my own question. "Oh. Not if they're involving hybrids and half-breeds and whatever else…" My mind trailed off, thinking there was something even more vital to that connection. I couldn't think of it; my dad stared at me, obviously moving along the same pathways.
"All right," said Edward, "let's tell everyone what we know."
I held Bella's hand as we walked back through the suite to the large sitting room. Someone had opened the door to the balcony and the scent of the ocean breezed through, making the curtains float.
"Why are you grounded?" Alice asked.
"She's not," Bella assured us.
"I probably should be, for the danger I've put us in," I said.
"Don't leave us in suspense!" Rosalie cried.
Edward took a deep breath. He was looking at Carlisle when he said, "Nessie was captured by Alec and Demetri of the Volturi guard. She managed to escape. She killed Demetri."
It was their stillness that gave them away. The shock and the tension built up to a screaming point. It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Even Jasper couldn't seem to manage to tone down the climate.
Emmett was the first to speak. "Way to go, Nessie!"
I blurted out a laugh. It was the same tone he used when he and I won a team-player video game.
"This is…" Carlisle said.
"Serious," Edward finished.
"Do the Volturi know that Demetri is dead? That you killed him?" Jasper asked.
"They must," I said. "They knew I'd escaped and that he was the one tracking me. They'll put two and two together."
"How did you do it?" asked Alice, sounding awed. "He's one of the most aggressive members of the guard!"
"I…" It was hard to explain.
"It would seem that our Nessie has inherited more than we thought," said Bella on my behalf. "In that moment of extreme stress – just like I once did – she discovered a way to project her thoughts outward. She used a series of feelings and images, like thirst, the taste of human blood, to distract Demetri enough to ki—to fight him and win."
Everyone was staring at me. "I can't do it right now," I said, embarrassed.
"Wow," said Emmett.
"Well done," said Jasper.
Jacob placed a proud hand on my shoulder.
"So, Nessie, you're pretty much number one on the Volturi's vendetta list," said Emmett.
"That about sums it up," I said.
"Demetri was an incredibly strategic asset for the Volturi," said Jasper. "Now, they can no longer find us. They're blind. Nessie, thank you for ki—for taking care of him."
"You guys can say it," I said. "I killed Demetri. So what? I just did what I had to."
"Of course you did," Esme soothed. "We're happy you did. We're even happier that you're okay."
"Are you all right about it, Ness?" Edward asked. "Don't feel bad. We've all – we're none of us exempt from such things."
"I'm fine! I just…" I sighed, sinking down into a chair. "I just wonder if I should feel bad about it, because I don't. Is that normal?"
"Yes," said Jasper, who would know best. "It was kill or be killed. It's no crime to follow your nature and defend yourself."
"We're all Americans here," said Jacob. "It's your right!"
Emmett pretended to crack his knuckles. "Yeah, sometimes it feels real nice to take down some wise guy vampire who thinks he's better than you."
"Like James," said Jasper.
"Like Victoria," said Edward.
"Like Laurent," said Jacob.
"I never got to kill anybody," Bella whined.
"That's because you were human, love," said Edward fondly.
"Hmmph," said Bella.
I was cheered by their banter. I wasn't so different from my family, after all.
"So," said Alice, "we've got one member of the Volturi guard down. The rest of them are going to be out for ashes. What do we do now?"
"Nessie," said Edward, "I think you'd better tell them what you told us, from the very beginning."
I nodded and began to speak.
