McGee barely made it, led by Tony to the bathroom off the guestroom, before retching into the toilet. Sinking to his knees as they gave out, he clutched the open lid with one hand and the edge of the bowl with the other as he continued to heave. Eventually, nothing else was coming up; he was simply dry-heaving. But he couldn't stop it...the twisting and churning in his gut that forced so much more than tears.

Then he felt a soothing hand on his back running back and forth between his shoulder blades. "Ya gotta calm yourself down, McGee," Tony's voice rang through, bringing him back to some sense of peace he couldn't quite identify. "Just take some deep breaths, okay?"

Soon, Tim began to respond and his breathing started to return to somewhat normal. Tony handed him a damp washcloth and he wiped his mouth. "I was supposed to take care of her," he said through a raspy voice. "I was supposed to make sure she was gonna be okay..."

"McGee-"

"What am I supposed to do now?" he turned to look at him as he sank back to sit against the side of the tub. "Kendra...she's gone... Kendra's gone, Tony," tears flowed more freely now as he stared straight ahead. "I miss her...so much..."

"I know ya do," Tony replied in barely a whisper.

Tim turned to look at him, "She would've wanted me to take care of Andy. I couldn't even do that..."

"It wasn't in your power to save her, McGee," Tony told him with a furrowed brow. "It was her time; she's with Kendra now. They're together."

Tim's eyes focused somewhere on his partner's chest as he considered the words. "You think so?"

Tony nodded, "Yeah, I do, Tim."

McGee ducked his head, nodding in response, though the tears remained steady. He sniffled and swiped at his eyes. "But...what about me?" his voice was so quiet, Tony almost didn't hear the statement. Tony sank to sit beside him and put his arm around Tim's shoulders, pulling the man into a gentle hug. And he let him cry until he couldn't anymore...

11 00 11 00 11

2247 hours...

Gibbs heard the guest room door close and came into the living room to see Tony come trudging down the stairs, looking defeated. The senior agent met his boss's eyes as he entered the room, "I know I just did this, Boss, but can I crash on your couch again?"

Gibbs nodded and handed him a beer, "How's he doin'?"

Tony plopped down on the couch, "He's asleep, now. But he's pretty torn up. Kinda glad it's the weekend; means someone can keep an eye on him. If it's okay with you, I wouldn't mind stickin' around... just to make sure he's gonna be okay."

"You wanna spend your weekend here?" Gibbs raised a brow as he sank down on the chair across from the couch.

"Absolutely," he replied without doubt. "McGee's my friend, Boss. I wanna be here for him."

Gibbs nodded in acknowledgment and gave him a small smile. "Just got a call from Ziva," he told him. "She's going to Tel Aviv for the weekend; friend of hers is sick."

"Not dying, I hope," he narrowed his eyes.

Gibbs shrugged, "Didn't say that."

"Yeah," Tony sighed. "Ziva never really says much of anything when it comes to personal things..."

"Either do we," Gibbs pointed out.

"Touche," Tony smirked. He took a long swig from his beer and leaned back on the couch. "Guess I'll make a trip to my place in the morning; bring McGee's clothes with me and throw them in the wash.."

"You volunteering to do laundry, now?" Gibbs smirked.

"I know, it's a bit of a shocker," Tony returned the smirk. "But I've gotta do some of my own, so it's no problem." As he continued to nurse the beer, his eyes focused somewhere on the coffee table, lost in thought. But Gibbs kept a steady eye on on his agent, noting the exhaustion in his features. He was aware that it wasn't just a physical exhaustion, but worry for his fellow teammate.

"If you get hungry, there's food in the fridge," he told him as he stood from the chair. "Went to pick some things up on the way home. I'm gonna head down to the basement; get some stuff cleaned up."

"Need any help, Boss?" Tony asked.

Gibbs shook his head with a smirk, taking in the tired eyes of his agent, "You're tired. Get some sleep, DiNozzo."

"Don't stay up too late," he suggested as he laid himself out on the couch. Gibbs smirked out of sight of Tony as he slipped into the basement doorway.

11 00 11 00 11

0830...

"Hey, Probie," Tony said quietly as he shook the agent's arm to wake him.

"Go 'way," he groaned before pulling the blanket up over his head.

"C'mon, McGee," he insisted. "Brought you some toast and juice. And if you're hungry after that, the good stuff is downstairs."

"Jus' wanna sleep," he protested

"Yeah, I know. But humor me; eat the toast and juice an' you can go back to sleep."

With a sigh, Tim pulled the covers from his face and pushed himself up to sit back against the headboard. "Suppose you'll keep fighting me if I keep telling you I'm not hungry," he surmised.

"Fighting is such a strong word," Tony smirked. "More like...insisting." He held the plate out to him, and McGee reluctantly took it and place it in his lap.

"Well, thanks," he said, nearly sarcastically. "But like I told Gibbs already, I don't need everyone babysitting me; telling me when to eat..."

"We just wanna make sure you're okay," Tony said with a furrowed brow. "I'm sorry if that pisses you off."

Tim briefly closed his eyes with a resigning sigh, "Look...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like I'm mad at you all," he met his eyes again.

"I understand, McGee...really. Just wanted you to know we don't think ya can't do this yourself. But we don't want you to do it alone." He watched the younger agent as he seemed to process that information. Then Tim began to eat a piece of the toast. Not wanting to give off the impression that he was monitoring him, Tony made small talk. "So...Ziva went to Tel Aviv for the weekend," he told him. "Friend of hers there is sick."

Tim swallowed, "Is it serious?"

"Not sure," he replied as Tim took another bite of the toast. "I think it's more along the lines of needing someone to be there."

McGee knew Tony hadn't intentionally brought up the thoughts that began flashing in his mind now, but it was happening anyway. He set the plate down on the side table, having finished one slice, and picked up the juice. After drinking half of it, he set it down as well. "I think I'm gonna go back to sleep for a while," he told him; eye lids drooping as he spoke.

"Okay," Tony said in a low voice, registering the unchanged exhaustion in his partner's eyes. "Well, if ya need anything, just let me know. I'll be downstairs." McGee simply nodded as he scooted back down onto the pillow and tugged the blanket up over his shoulders again.

Tony picked up the plate and made his way out of the room, shutting the door almost all the way before heading downstairs. Gibbs was at the table in the kitchen eating one of the omelets Tony had made, when the senior field agent entered and set the dish on the counter.

"Not half bad, DiNozzo," Gibbs commented on the food.

"Thanks, Boss," he said with a grin before fixing himself a plate.

"He comin' down?"

"Went back to sleep. But he ate a piece of toast, so I guess that's better than nothing." Gibbs nodded in agreement, eying the agent before focusing back on his food. Tony sat across from him and began cutting into his omelet. "After we eat, I'm gonna go do that laundry. Need me to grab anything while I'm out?"

Gibbs nodded as he swallowed the mouthful of omelet, "More stuff to make these. If you're stayin' here again, you're makin' these again tomorrow morning."

Tony grinned, "I'm flattered ya like my cooking, Boss. Even if it was intended to entice Probie to come down and eat."

11 00 11 00 11

1600 hours...

Tim woke with a pounding headache, stumbling his way to the bathroom to turn on the shower. His stomach hurt in an empty sort of way, but he was nauseated beyond belief. The hot water streaming over his body seemed to ease it a bit; numbness taking its place once again.

It was maybe five minutes before he heard a soft knock on the door, followed by Tony's voice, "Hey, McGee? Sorry to interrupt, but Abby's on the phone; wants to know if she can bring you some dinner later..."

"Uh..." Tim quickly shut off the water and opened the curtain. "I'm uh...not hungry," he told him.

Tony moved away from the door for a moment to put the phone to his ear, "Abs, I'm gonna have to call you back." He ended the call and moved back to the door. "Pretty sure she just wants to see you," he called through the door.

"Maybe tomorrow," he sighed.

"She's worried about you, McGee," Tony told him. "You know Abby; she's gonna show up here either way."

McGee opened the bathroom door, walking out with a towel wrapped around his waist. "Well, I'm not gonna be here," he told him before walking past the agent toward the bed. "Thanks for washing my clothes... You didn't have to do that," he picked up the folded items that sat on the edge of the bed.

"No problem. And what do ya mean, you're not gonna be here?"

"I wanna go back to my apartment," he told him as he took some of the clothes back into the bathroom with him, closing the door so he could get dressed in privacy. "I'd appreciate if you could give me lift there."

Tony looked down at the floor. He felt helpless; knowing his friend was in pain, and not being able to do a damn thing to comfort him. Not really. He stepped backward to the end of the bed and sat down. Resting his elbows on his knees, he focused on his hands for a while before he heard the bathroom door open; McGee stepping out, fully dressed now.

"So, can you?" Tim asked.

Tony looked up at him, "Yeah, sure, Probie. No problem." He looked back down at his hands.

McGee sensed something was troubling him. "What's wrong?" he asked with a furrowed brow.

"Nothin'," Tony replied, watching as Tim moved to sit beside him. "Just wondering why you won't let Abby see you, I guess. She's trying to help...trying to do whatever she can to make you feel better."

"I don't need her to do that," he replied, looking away.

"Yeah, but she wants to."

"I don't-" he pushed up from the bed to stand in frustration. "I don't want her to make me feel better, Tony," he told him. "I don't want Abby-hugs or comforting words," he turned to face him. "I want...I want..." he couldn't finish the sentence. It hurt too bad, and he didn't want that to show.

Tony stood and put his hands on Tim's shoulders. "I get it," he told him. "I'll talk to her and she'll get it, too. And yeah, I'll take you to your place," he gently pulled his hands away. "I'll even hang out a bit; knock back a few beers and watch a movie if you want."

Tim shook his head in an almost imperceptible manner, "I just wanna be alone for a while." His eyes were practically pleading, and Tony didn't want to push him.

"Alright," he resigned. "When do you wanna go?"

With a relieved sigh, he replied, "I just need to pack up my things. Thanks, Tony."

11 00 11 00 11

1647 hours...

Tim entered his apartment, being sure to lock the door behind him. He set his bag down on the floor and walked to the kitchen, fetching a beer from the fridge before heading straight for his bed. Tim drained the bottle quickly before sitting down on the mattress and setting the beer on the side table. He laid down on his back, staring up at the ceiling for a few minutes. Then he turned his head to the pillow beside him.

Turning his body onto his side, he pulled the pillow toward him; hugging it against his body... And he could still smell her on it. The sweet smell of her shampoo and perfume and a smell that was distinctly hers, caused an overwhelming flooding of memories, love, and heartache to hit him all at once. Tim clung to the pillow as if loosening his grasp would mean losing the memory of Kendra. After a few minutes, he became aware that he was sobbing into it.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop the tears; couldn't stop the pain in his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut, tight, against the throbbing pain in his head. He wanted to go back to sleep; back to his dreams where he could see Kendra. He wanted to hold her, even if it was only in his head. Soon, his mind gave over to that desire, and he fell into a merciful slumber...

11 00 11 00 11

tbc...