Here's the second chapter…
Thank you sooooooo much for Dromiceius to offer his kind and VERY useful comments. Hee hee, at least I pass…
As I replied to Dromiceius, the reason why that prologue was boring was because: one, it was a prologue told from an unexperienced and BORING Rogue; second, because I'm a noob:-P (In fic writing, not gaming); thirdly, because I'm a sucker for long introductions that gradually builds atmosphere.
I hope that accounts for the bad-ness of the first chapter a little. But I guess the best amends I can make is to write better chapters.
Soooooo… I own nothing but the characters and the storyline. Blizzard does it so much better and deserve the credits.
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Chapter 1
"So these are the kind of people who guards this place…" An unfamiliar voice, a low, yet clear one, rang into my ears. "Pardon me, but you're short on both numbers and power."
"Many of us have perished, both back at the Monastery and thereafter." Kashya replied, sounding as if she were annoyed but would not dare show it. "Since you've helped us, your journey hereafter will get progressively difficult. We hope one of our Rogues will be of assistance."
I looked up as Kashya and the newcomer came into view, previously obstructed by a nearby tent.
Kashya looked like she had been slapped in the face; I could tell from this distance that she was trying her best to swallow her pride. They walked up close to us line-up, and stopped.
"Rogues," said the newcomer, removing her helm. "That doesn't seem like a suitable name, for some reason…"
She was unlike any Amazon I had seen before; I had expected a slim woman with sleek blonde hair pulled into a high ponytail, with piercing blue eyes and a cocky yet reassuring smile. But this one… she was a little shorter than most of her kind, but more strongly-built, and from her slumped posture, one could sense her nonchalance. It was her face; however, that was the most unusual. Rather than sunny-blonde hair, her hair was of a silvery-champagne, twisted into a long plait falling past her waist, with bangs falling over either side of her face, and a few over her eyes. Her eyes… she swept them across our line-up, and stopped at me. Her orbs were… hazel? I could not tell from such distance.
"That little one over there," she beckoned at me; "Come over here."
After glancing towards either side of me, I walked over slowly. As I did the Amazon twirled the spear she held in her hand, and tucked it neatly beneath a sash across her back. She had a bow slung over her shoulder, too.
"How old are you?" Now I saw them; her eyes were bright emerald green at the top, and gradually faded into a deep brown at the bottom. It made her look… unreal.
"I turn seventeen in two months."
"She's the youngest here;" said Kashya, "with the least experience. I'm sure it'll be of greater help if you take one of our older-"
"I'll take this one." The Amazon cut her short.
"But she's not ready-"
"I'll make her ready." The Amazon interrupted Kashya's speech yet again. "Your name?" Her eyes never left me since she picked me out from the line-up.
"Celadon."
"You sure are green." The Amazon brushed the bangs off her face in vain; they soon fell back to their original place. "I probably don't need a mercenary, but since you're all so kind, I'll take this girl. For the sake of this Sisterhood, you guys really need someone stronger." She whipped around. "Come on, Celadon, we have some old man to rescue. Let's just get this over and done with so we can keep moving."
And just like that, she walked off, without a care for anything else, not even asking for a demonstration of our skills as previous warriors had. All this was very… anticlimactic. Clueless as to how much my life would change from that point on, I hurried to follow the steps of my new master.
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So that was the second chapter. I'm crossing between writing a story with a lot of dialogue, and very detailed action, and a story of the Rogue's inner experience. The latter would be shorter because I'll be skimming over all the details in the quests and just focus on the thoughts of the Rogue.
So please tell me which one it will be: the action-filled adventure, or the interior monologue of the Rogue.
And by the way, when the Amazon said that Celadon was "green", it was a pun; "celadon" is actually a kind of pale green, and is a kind of Chinese pottery with a rich green glaze… I'm a sucker at colour shades. It's a little strange obsession of mine.
