Disclaimer; It's not mine and it never was

A/N I hope your still liking the story. Also did anyone see Peter Facinelli's speech at the national movie awards - what a sweetie.

Chapter 16

I couldn't hold back the sob that escaped my lips as Alice silently pulled the car to a stop in front of my house "Bella….." she said. "Don't Alice….just don't, I really want to just go in and get some sleep okay" I told her as I undid my seatbelt and got out the door, slamming it behind me. I stumbled up the drive and got the key out of my back pocket as I approached the front door, I glanced behind me - Alice was still sitting in the drive watching me with a troubled look on her face. I turned back and opened the door and went in closing it behind me. I stumbled up to my room, my sobs getting worse with each step I took. By the time I got to my room I was shaking and my chest was heaving. I let myself in and made my way over to the bed, kicking things out the way as I went and then threw myself down on the comforter. I should have never allowed myself to be talked into going over to the Cullen's today, I should have listened to my instincts. Instead I had went and now I'd probably ruined everything.

2 hours earlier

I breathed a sigh of relief as I lifted the final piece of clothing off "That's it?" I asked. "Yep, all done" she replied. I grabbed my shirt off the bed and put it back on, Alice had been making me try clothes on all afternoon. But I couldn't complain too much because in her way she was helping me out, I had been listening to music with Edward in his room and when things started to get awkward - like him going to kiss me then Alice would burst into the room saying that she'd found the perfect thing for me and that I had to try it on. "I'm going to find Jasper, he's downstairs do you want to come?" she asked. I thought about it for a minute, it was either that or go back to Edwards room and I wasn't sure I wanted to yet "Yes, I'll come down with you" I told her. "Great" she said while grabbing my hand and pulling me out the door.

As we came to the bottom of the stairs Alice made her way towards the living room and motioned for me to follow. As we made our way in Jasper got up from where he had been sitting and made his way over to us "I'm going to go out for a run" he said. Alice took a step towards him "Do you want me to go with you?" she asked him. He smiled at us and said "That depends, have you two finished playing dress up?" I let out a small laugh as Alice replied "Yes - for today I don't want to overwhelm her to much, she might not come back otherwise." Jasper looked at me "You don't mind if Alice goes for a quick run with me do you Bella?" I smiled at him "Nope, have fun" I told them. Alice darted forward and kissed me on the cheek "Thank you" she said. Then she went over to Jasper, took his hand and then they were gone.

I let out a sigh and sat down on the nearest seat making the most of the quiet for a second. It was the first chance I had to stop since I arrived, I glanced around me and wondered where the others were. Edward I knew would be in his room, Alice and Jasper were out, Rosalie was probably avoiding me as usual but what about Carlisle, Esme and Emmett they were usually around. I got up and wandered in the direction of the kitchen, maybe one of them would be in there. As I approached the kitchen I heard noises so someone must be in there. I walked into the room and I froze, leaning against the counter was Carlisle holding Esme in his arms and they were kissing - passionately. I felt my heart constrict in my chest as I took it all in - his hands on her hips, her hands in his hair, the closeness of their bodies. It felt as if something tore inside of me. Esme giggled and pulled away from Carlisle "Bella" she said turning towards me "You have to save me, my husband seems to be getting frisky in his old age." My heart let out another painful squeeze at the word husband, I took a breath keep it together Bella I thought to myself as I felt the muscle in my cheek twitch.

"Bella dear, are you alright?" Esme asked as she appeared in front of me, I looked at her and then glanced behind her at Carlisle who didn't have the decency to look at me and was instead paying great attention to his shoes. I opened my mouth to reply when Alice shot into the room with Jasper following close behind her. My vision started to blur "Bella's not feeling well" Alice said as I felt Jasper send waves of calm to me, but it was to late as the tears that had gathered in my eyes spilled over and a sob escaped my throat. I felt a hand on my arm and I looked to find Edward beside me "Bella love are you alright?" he asked. And I felt more tears spill down my face as I fought not to scream. "She's just not well - hormones I think" Alice said coming to stand by me. "But it can't be" Edward said "Because if it were then I'd smell it." And then I snapped "For god's sake!" I shouted "I'm not feeling well, stop analyzing everything all the damn time." The silence that followed was deafening as it was peaceful then Esme took a tentative step forward "Bella…." she said softly. But I didn't want to hear it, I couldn't right now because as much as I didn't want to - part of me hated her for what I had just seen, the intimacy that she had just shared with him, a him that was supposed to be mine but that so clearly wasn't after what I'd just witnessed.

"Alice" I said turning towards her "Take me home" I told her. She took my hand in hers and led me out of the room "Of course" she said quietly. On the way out not one of the others said anything to me and I didn't bother to look at them. I couldn't - not right now. Before I knew it we were sitting in Alice's Porsche speeding towards my house. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked. "No" I told her as I wiped away the tears that were still poring down my face. "I know what Carlisle did was bad but I will tell you that his motives are typically male and were not intentionally meant to cause you this much pain. I turned away from her and stared out of the window silently watching scenery streak by.

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