Disclaimer; I don't own it
A/N Thanks for your reviews and I hope your liking the direction I'm taking things - if not then feel free to shout at me….
Chapter 18
"I think you have some explaining to do."
We stood there in silence looking at each other for what seemed like forever until finally I decided I'd had enough of waiting and said "You know what, it doesn't matter - I don't care anymore" I could feel my throat tightening up again so I turned back around to get another drink of water when I found myself being spun around. Carlisle was standing in front of me, his hands grasped the tops of my arms as he pulled me closer to him. I went to tell him to get off me but I realised that it might not be such a good idea because when I met his gaze I saw that the cool and collected Carlisle that I knew was gone and instead had been replaced with someone I was not familiar with. I noticed how dark his eyes had gotten and I could see that he was struggling to not be angry, then he seemed to pause for a second as he began to pick up the fear that was building inside of me. He loosened his grip on my arms and slowly lowered his head so it was resting on my shoulder "You want to know why I acted like I did Bella, why I hurt you?" he asked me softly.
I did want to know, more than anything "Tell me" I said. He lifted his head up and whispered in my ear "Because part of me thought I'd lost you." I have to say that out of all the things I expected him to say, that was one answer I did not expect "What would make you think that" I asked him. "Edward" he replied placing his head back on my shoulder. "I don't understand" I said. He let out a sigh "All he kept going on about was you and that got to me because I couldn't, and then talked about his plans for you coming over and how he was going to try and me more intimate with you in order to make you happy. Then when you arrived you spent time with him and I thought perhaps maybe it was for the best so I let you see me with Esme to push you back towards Edward" he finished. I was shocked, but then that shock quickly turned to anger, I gave him a shove to get him off my shoulder - which he did, if reluctantly and shouted at him "Are you stupid Carlisle Cullen?"
He stared at me evidently surprised by my outburst "You think that there was a chance I wanted to be with Edward after everything we've done and said over the last few days - just how fickle do you think I am? I asked him. He started to speak "No, actually I don't want to hear it" I told him "You're going to listen to me for a change" I told him. "I have absolutely no intention of ever getting romantically involved with Edward Cullen again, the only reason why I didn't end things with him strait away is because you told me to wait and because I respected your decision I did - clearly that was the wrong choice but whatever the truth is out now, so I'm going to deal with that."
He was staring at me again, as if he couldn't quite believe what I was saying and then before I had time to process it I was being held tightly against his chest and he was kissing me. I hit his arm and tried not to wince as my knuckles made contact with what felt stone. He pulled away from me and examined my hand "Why did you do that Bella, you could have seriously hurt yourself?" he said. "I did that because I still haven't forgiven you yet and here you are kissing me again" I told him. "I don't understand" he said. I scowled at him "Clearly" I said "What I mean is that your going to have to work for it if you want another chance, what you did was very hurtful to me Carlisle - so it's only fair that you make it up to me." He gave my hands a gentle squeeze and asked "And how can I do that." I pulled my hands from his and walked back over to the table and sat down "Well, you can start by telling me exactly how everyone found out about us" I told him.
He sighed and ran his hands through his hair "I wasn't as discreet with my thoughts as I thought I was when you walked in on me and Esme and then when you got upset everything just slipped. After you left Edward confronted me in front of the others - he asked me if what I had thought was true and I told him it was" he said. "How did the others take it" I asked him. He grimaced slightly "It could have been better, Rose and Esme took it particularly hard. I think Esme will get over it though - she told me she wants us to be happy and that means a lot to me, Rose on the other hand will take some time to get used to it." I rested my head on my arms and groaned, this wasn't good "What about Alice and Jasper" I muttered. I felt a cool hand stroke my back "Their fine, the others are disapproving of their choice to keep out relationship to themselves but in the end they understand that it was their choice to make" he said. "So what's going to happen now" I asked him. "Well Esme, Rose and Emmett are moving to Alaska to stay with friends, myself Alice and Jasper are staying here with you" he said. I lifted my head and turned to look at him "How can you want to stay with me when I have destroyed your family" I asked him. He gave me a gentle smile "Because I love you Bella and without you there would be no point" he said. I felt the tears building in my eyes as I stood up, wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. "Thank you" I whispered "That means a lot to me" I told him. He hugged me gently "So what happens now" he asked. "Well after you've grovelled for an appropriate length of time I will forgive you and will live happily ever after forever. But until then we have things we need to sort out including what I'm going to say to Esme when I go to see her later today" I told him. "Are you sure you want to do that" he asked me "It wouldn't make you a bad person if you didn't." I pulled away from him and gave a small smile "No this is something I have to do" I told him as he pulled me back into his arms. "I understand" he whispered.
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