Chapter 12
Beckett's brain was working she knew that. She could hear things going on around her. There was a beep ever so often and the world would sink further from her. Slowly she'd begin to hear things again before another beep would send her down again. Occasionally she heard her father talking to her. His voice was calm and comforting. Once she'd even heard Castle. Or at least she thought she heard him. Did that mean he was alive that he'd made it?
She remembered the blast and the searing pain. She remembered seeing him skewered on the metal bar. She remembered the EMT's arriving and sitting down when they removed Castle. She remembered the numbness that started in her toes and worked its way up her legs. That numbness was still there only now it was her entire body. Even her eyelids refused to obey her brain.
Finally, she began to hear again but this time was different. As her mind cleared this time and her eyelids began to open. This time there wasn't a burning in her throat. This time she felt, pain. Wincing a moan escaped from her lips. Quickly two different men were there at the side of her bed. Her father and Castle.
"You're ok?" She barely managed to get out before grimacing in pain. The effort it took to speak pulled the muscles in her back sending pain shooting across and down her back.
"Yes I'm fine." Tears slipped from Beckett's eyes at the sound of his voice.
A flurry of activity near the door made the two men step aside. "Miss Beckett I must say it is fantastic to see your eyes. I was told they were beautiful and now that I can see them I agree. I'm Doctor Marshall and did your surgery. We've got a lot of things to talk about." He pulled the sheet back from Beckett's legs. "Now I need you to close your eyes and tell me when you feel my hand." He began by touching her toes. He moved up her legs then to her knees. He skipped over and touched her stomach.
"There."
"OK good. What about now?" He touched her thigh at the top.
"Yes."
"And here" At the bottom of her thigh there was no response.
"What's wrong with me?" Coherent enough to know what they were going to say, she was already fighting back tears.
"Hold on I want to try one more thing." He pulled a pointy metal object from his lab coat. Starting with her toes he poked her, hoping for some kind of pain response. There was nothing until the inside of her left calf. When he poked her there she flinched. Smiling the doctor continued until she reported pain again in her upper thigh.
"OK here's the rundown. You sustained a serious penetrating wound to your back. I assume you remember the large sheet of metal." Beckett shook her head. "Well you got really lucky in that your vest prevented it from going any deeper. It went through your vest cut through the muscle on your back and into your ribs. The pointiest part did penetrate between your ribs and did some minimal damage to the area around your lung. Nothing serious though. Now the damage around your spinal cord was more significant. The cord itself was not physically damaged but the amount of swelling around it is what we are worried about. Swelling and pressure can do just as much damage. So the bad news is that as of now you have no feeling in your legs. The good news is that since you had pain in one calf it says that there is still hope of regaining full function."
"How long?" Beckett was already running a worst-case scenario in her mind.
"We have no way of knowing. For some improvement starts within a week for others six months. Beyond six months we can see small improvements up to a year. Spinal cord injuries are like head injuries every single one is different. The level of your injury could have included bowel and bladder functioning, but so far that seems unaffected. So we can't really predict where you'll be in six months."
"Thank you Doctor Marshall." Jim shook the man's hand.
The doctor then laid a hand on Kate's arm. "I know it's a lot to digest. Talk about it with your father and friends I'll be back in the morning and we can talk more. Everything is looking great so we're going to move you to a regular room this afternoon. There you'll have a lot more freedom than in ICU." Kate nodded, still in shock.
After the doctor left Jim noticed the look on her face. "Kate, how are you doing?"
"I'm not sure." Well at least she was being honest. Castle had expected to hear her say she was fine. "I'm really tired though."
"Absolutely. You rest we'll be back later, sweetie." Kate looked to Castle as they left. He looked sad. She didn't need his pity.
As they closed the door the tears fell. Unable to stop them Kate gave in. Her life might never be the same. She'd given everything to her career and now it was over, as was her life. Her mother's case remained unsolved. Realizing she'd literally made her last stand Kate sighed. What was she supposed to do now?
Crying wore her out and within a few minutes she found it harder to keep her eyes open. Before long she was asleep. At least in her dreams she was still whole.
