Chapter 13

After several hours of sleep the nurse came in and woke Beckett. "Honey we're going to move you downstairs OK?"

"Sure."

"How are you feeling? Do you need some additional pain medication for the move?"

Despite the fact that sleeping through the next few days sounded good Kate said no that she was fine. The nurse began unhooking all the cords from the machines. She pulled down her gown and removed all the leads that had been placed on her chest. Noticing the bullet scar the nurse asked "This isn't your first trip here is it, Detective?"

"No."

"Those guards outside tell me this isn't over for you either is it?"

"No."

"Well you're in good hands here, so you relax and heal. My money's on you making a full recovery."

Kate smiled for the first time since she'd woken up. "Thanks"

Two guys from patient transport arrived with a gurney. They gently lifted Beckett from the bed and laid her on the gurney. The nurse made sure that all the cords and tubes made it with her. She covered her and asked if she was ready. Nodding Beckett closed her eyes as they pushed her down the hall and into the elevator.

Riding the elevator they descended two floors and they pushed her down the hall and into a corner room. As the gurney stopped she opened her eyes and immediately noticed that she had been given a private room. Castle she thought. Moving her to the bed hurt again. The nurse had followed and was soon joined by a second nurse.

"Miss Beckett, this is Julie she'll be your nurse for the rest of the day." They busied themselves hooking everything back up. Gone were the heart monitor and all the breathing machines. As they finished her father reappeared with a bouquet of flowers. The nurse from ICU left and Julie helped get her comfortable. Sitting up was more comfortable than lying down because it put less pressure on her back.

After the nurse left Kate asked about the room. "Did Castle arrange for this?"

"Oh, I don't know. They released him this afternoon and I think he ran home. He said he'd be back later, though."

"Dad, I'm not sure I want him to."

"Katie, I've never been one to butt into your love life. Well, not since the questionable ones in high school." That drew a small smile. "Do you love the man?"

"Dad that doesn't matter anymore."

"Why not?"

"Look at me. Dad no one would want to be saddled with all this." Kate pulled the sheet off revealing her useless legs.

Jim quickly stood and took both of her hands "Katherine Beckett, look at me." He took her chin in his hand to turn her face toward him. "Sweetheart, even if you never walk again you are more beautiful than 90% of the people in this world. That man will not care at all."

"How do you know that?"

"Because if it had happened to your Mother it wouldn't have changed how I felt about her. And that man looks at you the same way."

"No, he looked at me the same way. Dad even before this he had pulled away. I waited too long getting myself ready."

"No you didn't. Katie the man is still in love with you. He thinks that you don't feel the same way."

"Why would he think that?"

"Something about you lying to him about remembering the shooting." Kate's good hand flew to her mouth. "Do you love him?"

"Yes. More than anyone I've ever met." Jim nodded and smiled.

"Then let him make you happy. Kate you've been through more in your short life than anyone deserves. You've given more to your community than anyone should have to. Now maybe its time to give up Detective Beckett and go back to Kate Beckett."

"Dad I can't. They aren't going to let me. This time I did nothing. I've stayed away from the case since the shooting and still they killed Judge Markaway and came after Castle and I. Dad, I can't live my life until this is over. Until everyone I love is really safe. Do you understand?"

He did but it still scared him. Deep inside he always thought that Johanna's death would take Kate from him too. This time, though, she hadn't stepped back into it. They had brought the fight to her.


Later that evening Kate heard a faint knock at the door. Peeking around the corner Castle smiled when he saw that she was awake. Without saying a word he walked into the room to the bed and placed his lips on hers. He sensed a slight smile as his tongue rubbed against her lips. She placed her good hand on his cheek and melted into the kiss. Extremely grateful that the nurse had allowed her to brush her teeth this afternoon.

"Kate, I love you."

"I love you too." Caught off-guard by the suddenness of everything Kate spoke from her heart. Before her head got in the way. Suddenly the fact that she would very likely spend the rest of her life confined to a chair left her mind. The fact that her body was now so scarred that she was embarrassed of it, didn't matter. He loved her and she loved him and right now that was all that mattered.

He pulled the chair up to the bed and held tightly to her good hand. Kissing it often. "How are you Castle?" He lifted his shirt and showed the spot where the bar had come out.

"One just like it on my back. Doctors said that inside the bar passed right through without any damage at all."

"Wow."

"I know. I'm one lucky dude. I'm fine and you love me." The goofy smile on his face was that of a child on Christmas morning.

"Castle," after moments of bliss all the doubt began to seep back in. "Castle I might love you but that doesn't mean I'm right for you."

"Wait, what do you mean?" and the Christmas morning grin was wiped from his face.

"Castle my life is a little complicated right now."

"Exactly and I'm here with you through it all."

"You don't want to be stuck with this." Kate touched her legs.

"Kate I want nothing more than to be stuck with this. Kate this," he took her face in his hands "is all I've wanted for years." Placing another kiss on her lips. She joined him but soon he felt tears on her cheeks and pulled back.

"I'm sorry. Castle I can't do this. This isn't right to you. You fell in love with who I was, not who I am now." Castle knew what she was doing. Something she'd done so many times before. This time he wasn't going to allow it to happen. Now that he knew that she loved him, he was going to fight for her. Nothing would stand in his way.

"Kate have you survived a bullet to the heart?" He waited but she didn't respond. "Did you survive begin locked in a freezer?" He waited again and still no response. "Did you survive being blown up, twice now?" He waited this time something.

"I only survived the first bomb because of you."

"And I survived the second one because of you. Kate you sacrificed yourself to make sure I made it out alive. To make sure that I made it back to Alexis." He stopped. "Kate I know that you don't like needing people. But I need you like I've never needed anyone in my life. I just wish you would allow yourself to need me. I will be there Kate ever step of the way. For the good days and the bad days. I will be there when you start to wiggle your toes again and I will be there if you spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair. I will be there, Kate. Will you?"

"Castle you don't want someone who needs so much." Tears continued but Castle could see from her eyes that he was getting to her.

"Kate that's where you are so wrong. I've been married twice and each time they didn't need me. They needed the money and the fame, but not me. Kate I love that you need me. Because we need each other." He waited, not sure what else to say. Praying that laying his heart out had gotten to her.

She played with the sheet for a minute before speaking. "Castle I'm not giving up the case and that may put you and Alexis in danger."

"I'll send Alexis somewhere safe and we'll fight them together. Kate if you weren't going to fight then I'd be worried."

"Castle are you sure?"

"Kate more sure of us than of anything in my life." She sighed and this time leaned to kiss him.