The ride to the airport was sprinkled with light conversation, mostly Luke asking Reid what he thought about dinner or about the house, if he enjoyed himself, what he thought about his family. Reid responded with limited enthusiasm, but Luke was just glad that he showed any enthusiasm at all. They boarded the plane just before eight o'clock and were in the air by 8:05.
"So you really did have fun, right?" asked Luke in the same worried voice he'd been using all night. Reid stretched out on the bench he was sitting in, sighing.
"Yes, Luke, for the millionth time, I promise I had fun."
Luke frowned.
"What?" asked Reid. Luke shook his head.
"I know things didn't work out exactly as we hoped," he said. Reid paused, looking away almost nervously. "I'm sorry for earlier, with Noah."
"Luke, how many times…" Reid began, but Luke cut him off.
"I don't mean for him showing up, I mean for how I reacted. I shouldn't have ran out on you like that."
Reid sighed, running a hand through his thick hair. "No, you shouldn't have," he agreed. Luke felt his stomach churn. "But I'm not mad at you for it, Luke. You were caught off guard, I get it."
"Then why does it sound like you don't get it?"
Tired eyes looked up at him.
"What do you want me to say, Luke? That I'm mad? Or hurt? What?" he said in a slightly bitter tone. "Sometimes I just don't know how to do right by you. You don't want me to be angry with you, but you don't want me to forgive you, either."
"I want you to be honest with me!" insisted Luke desperately. "I'm not asking you to forgive me, and yeah, I don't want you to be mad at me either, but I at least want you to tell me the truth."
"The truth?" reiterated Reid. His mouth was forming a dangerously thin line and he could feel his heart rate accelerating. "The truth, Luke? The truth is that after today, I'm not so sure where you're head is at in all of this. I have completely stepped outside of my comfort zone to give whatever the hell it is we have a shot. I flew to the middle of god-damn nowhere so I could understand you, to do something for you. And I understand being freaked out by your ex boyfriend, I get it, but what I don't understand is how after everything with us, one look at the guy can still make you question everything, that just running into him, even with me right there at your side, could make you so unsure about us."
"What are you talking about, Reid?" Luke practically shouted, staring in amazement. "I never said I was questioning us!"
"Oh really? Then where the hell did all that about not knowing where we'd be in a few weeks crap come from? Or the fact that you don't even want to consider a future with me or how that would work."
Luke sat back, completely stunned as he realized that Reid had overheard him talking to Holden in the kitchen. Reid was fuming, sitting on the edge of his seat and staring with cold eyes at Luke until he couldn't take it and turned away.
"Reid," Luke began, but Reid let out a mock laugh, keeping his eyes averted and staring out the window. Luke felt his eyes watering and he almost reached out for Reid, but decided against it. He stood and moved to the back of the small jet instead, curling up and staring out the window on the other side. The remaining hour and a half carried on in absolute silence, broken only when the captain announced that they needed to fasten their seatbelts when they began descending.
The silence continued even as they got off the plane. Luke walked with Reid to his car, leaving his overnight bag on the plane, along with instructions not to leave until he'd called and confirmed if he was staying or going.
Reid tossed his own bag into the backseat carelessly, a scowl still firmly on his face. He held his keys tightly, leaning back on the car. Luke stood awkwardly in front of him, hands in his pockets and shoulders raised.
"Do you still want me to stay the night?" Luke asked, unsure if their original plan was still a go.
"Seeing as you didn't even bring your bag," Reid began, still bitter. Luke felt his chest tighten.
"I wasn't sure if…" he began. Reid shook his head.
"You weren't sure of what? Damnit, Luke… you either assumed I wouldn't want you to stay or you'd already made up your mind to leave, otherwise you would have brought the damn bag."
"That's not true, Reid," Luke said defensively.
"Keep telling yourself that."
They stood in quietly, staring each other down. Luke sighed dramatically, coming to lean against the car beside Reid.
"What happened?" he asked, though Reid sensed the rhetorical nature of his question. "I thought this weekend was going to be great, that everything would be…" he trailed off, clenching his jaw.
"What? Be perfect?" said Reid mockingly, but Luke nodded, staring up at him with weary eyes.
"Yes, actually."
Neither said anything for a few minutes until Luke's phone went off. It was the pilot. He frowned at the phone and then looked up at Reid who just stared at him, a cold sadness in his eyes. He sighed and opened his door, getting in and starting the car. Luke stepped aside, expecting Reid to pull away, but he didn't. The phone stopped ringing, and Reid still hadn't moved.
A minute later, Luke was walking around and opening the passenger door. His phone started ringing again.
"No. I'm staying until tomorrow," he said into the small phone, though his eyes never left Reid. He thanked the pilot and flipped the phone shut.
Reid didn't smile. Neither of them did. They didn't say a single word to each other. In silence they pulled out of the small lot and drove back to Reid's. That same silence prevailed even as they walked into the house, even as they walked toward the bedroom hand in hand.
Still not uttering a word to one another, they slipped into the darkness of Reid's bedroom and out of the constraints of their clothes, falling together into the bed. They made love, almost desperately, and fell asleep in each other's arms, though this time something was different. Normally they would pass out quickly and sleep soundly, but not tonight. Tonight they held each other with stiff and uncertain arms. They always made love their last night together each week, though as exhaustion began to grip them mercilessly, both men were left with a sense of dread, knowing too well that come morning, things would no longer be the same.
