Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Every day Merlin came to wake Arthur in the morning and was early, he stopped a moment in front of Arthur's bed and just looked. The room was dim and you could hardly see the form underneath the sheets, his face hidden between cushions. Nonetheless Merlin knew how it looked like, with the knowledge of years spent together in a vast array of situations (arrogant at first, determined in battle, serious when facing problems, laughing when happy and appreciation at loyalty, the tears, unsaid words spelled clearly in his eyes) through which he and Arthur had gotten to know each other better than anyone else.
Despite the knowledge of years he couldn't comprehend the expression he would see if his magic would be revealed. It was just a moment that he let himself question everything that made them more than just royalty and servant for the better or for the worse. In a way it was a moment of decision. Would he continue this day safe and feeling guilty or would it turn a nightmare fuelled by wood and fire and remorse at looking at Arthur's betrayed face? (Why would Arthur choose a servant over the law?) Afterwards he would feel guilty for thinking less noble of Arthur.
In those moments he liked to imagine betrayal and disdain vanish fast from those eyes to make way for acceptance. At times there is even awe mixed into the astonishment. When he thinks further than just the two of them he imagines them standing proud in front of a country that treats everyone equal, but is still just. He doesn't dare imagine them looking at him knowingly and gratified at being trusted with such a secret.
Those moments always choke him up more than they should for how short they are. Either it was the promise of finally finally showing Arthur who he is and being trusted or it was the betrayal and guilt that did the job.
Sometimes he would tell himself that next time he wouldn't think about the possibilities a new day gave when he pulled the curtains open. They didn't bring any good with them, but he could never quite resist. He wanted that last piece that stood between them and hindered them from being completely themselves around each other to be gone. He wanted the trust that Arthur had in him, to be trust in all he is and had to give. All the wishing and thoughts sometimes made his heart ache so much that it took longer than normal to flood the room in the light of the sun (hoping it would dispel the lie once and for all) and turn around to tell Arthur a new day had begun.
