Luke woke the next morning with a distinct pain in his shoulders that even a hot shower couldn't rinse away. It was early. He'd been waking up by 5am most days and so he naturally seemed to fall out of bed by six or seven at the latest, today being no exception. After he'd showered and gotten dressed he cautiously peaked into Reid's room to find the lights off, the blinds pulled tightly shut against the window that normally let in the morning light, and then there was Reid, still asleep. Luke felt his heart clench in his chest at the sight. He was on his side, a hand sprawled on the pillow in front of his face. He wasn't wearing a shirt, as always, and the sheet only covered his legs. His lips were parted slightly but he was breathing deeply through his nose. Hearing his soft breathing Luke realized he wasn't taking in any oxygen himself. He was reminded of the first thing Reid had said to him when they'd met last night on the porch, and quietly shut the door, taking a deep breath as he tiptoed down to the kitchen.
It didn't surprise him when Reid came down about a half an hour later, now wearing a t-shirt but still in pajama pants. His hair was messy and he hardly looked awake. Luke actually grinned at the sight as he carried two plates to the table.
"I thought the smell of food might wake you up," he said, his voice happy but not overly so. Reid didn't say anything, taking a seat at the table.
A few minutes later everything as set up; eggs, bacon, hash browns, pancakes, and of course, orange juice. He was carrying over the butter and syrup when Reid started pulling some of everything onto his plate.
"I thought you didn't cook?" Reid asked, his voice a bit harsh though mostly due to not using it in eight or so hours.
Luke smiled. "I can make the basics."
Reid nodded, and they fell into silence again. Luke piled a bit of food onto his own plate, handing Reid the hash browns who it turn passed him the plate with the sausage and bacon. It was easy, natural, and yet oh-so tense.
"Did you sleep well?" Luke asked carefully, looking up from his plate as he stuffed another bite of pancake into his mouth.
"Can't complain," Reid answered, reaching for the syrup and drowning another pancake, which typically would have brought a laugh or at the very least a grin and an eye roll from Luke, but this morning it did nothing.
They finished in silence before falling into the same routine, clearing off the table and rinsing the dishes together. As Luke was loading them into the dishwasher Reid silently crept upstairs for a shower, reappearing a short while later with damp hair and clean clothes to find the kitchen empty. He knew exactly where to find Luke, though. This wasn't his house, but after coming here he'd realized why Luke seemed to like sitting on his back patio so much; it was the same place you could find him most of the time in his own home.
He stepped through the opening and closed the screen door behind him, walking out onto the wooden deck that overlooked the barn and stables. As he had expected, Luke sat in one of the chairs reading.
"Now what?" he asked. Luke instinctively angled the book toward him. Reid barely noticed the title but made a sound to indicate he had. He pulled up a chair beside Luke, who didn't move, eyes remaining focused on his book.
The silence came, just as Reid knew it would. He closed his eyes, perching his feet up on the railing of the deck and letting the morning sun warm his arms and face. No matter how much he tried to relax, though, he couldn't shake the tension from his muscles. How many times had he wished he could be in this moment again, sitting out back and relaxing while Luke read beside him. Now that he was here, though, it didn't feel right.
"Let's do something," he suggested suddenly. Luke looked up, confused by Reid's wide eyes. Normally Luke determined when it was time for their silence to end, but Reid couldn't take it much longer. "Let's go for a walk or go into town or go to the pond. Something."
The urgency in Reid's voice made Luke frown, but he nodded in agreement, marking the page and closing his book. They decided to go to the pond and so they both changed into swim trunks and t-shirts before making their way to the dock in silence.
Luke was already removing his shirt and kicking off their shoes before they even reached the end of the dock. He didn't think twice or even look back at Reid, just walking straight to the end and jumping in. Reid watched as the blond resurfaced, wiping off his face and smoothing his hair back.
"Are you coming in?" Luke asked. Reid came to the edge, pulling his shoes off one by one. He sat down and let his toes skim the warm water.
"I'm good here," he answered finally. Luke just nodded and began to swim again.
They were together, and yet they weren't. Reid sat alone, just thinking and letting the sun warm his face again, watching as Luke swam, who seemed almost unaware that he had company. It was only once Luke's hand had come to resemble prunes that he got out of the water, pulling himself onto the dock. He didn't have a towel, but he didn't care. He sat beside Reid, silently, letting the sun dry his skin. Once he was dry enough to pull the shirt on without soaking it, he did just that, slipping on his shoes as well. Reid watched, making a face as Luke began to walk away. Luke stopped and turned back to Reid expectantly.
"Let's go for a walk."
Reid nodded.
Luke showed him another path through the trees and they spent the better part of the afternoon stepping over roots and branches and avoiding poison ivy. Reid wasn't an outdoor adventure kind of person, but he had to admit he was enjoying himself. The path was mostly clear and it wasn't hard to follow. It was beautiful now that the leaves had returned and everything was so green.
"Thank you for letting me stay, Luke," said Reid suddenly.
"You make it sound like you thought I was going to kick you out," Luke said sadly.
"I wasn't sure what you would do when you saw me, but I knew kicking me out was at least an option."
Luke frowned. "I would never do that to you, Reid. You should know that," he said seriously. He stopped walking. Reid stopped as well, looking up at him with equally sad eyes.
"I do, Luke. I guess, honestly, a part of me hoped you would, though - kick me out that is."
"Do you not want to be here, Reid?" asked Luke.
Reid felt a sharp pain in his stomach. It wasn't the question, but the way that Luke asked. His voice was neutral, and that scared Reid. Luke had an opinion on everything, emotional responses were his nature. To hear the emptiness in his voice made Reid feel sick.
"Of course I do, Luke," he began, his words coming out in a sigh. "I just didn't know if you wanted me here."
It took Luke a moment to answer, all the while causing Reid to hold his breath, but he finally did nod.
"I do want you here, Reid. I've missed you." Again, his voice was flat. Reid knew he was telling the truth, but his words sounded more like factual statements than meaningful reminders.
The day continued with walking around the grounds, mostly without talking. Lily invited them to dinner with the kids, which they found themselves unable to turn down after Ethan came over and literally latched himself onto Luke's leg. Luckily the children were talkative enough that the tension between the two men wasn't as obvious as it might have been. They didn't stay long, returning to the farm just as the sun was disappearing behind the trees. They sat in the living room and watched TV for a while before Luke stood up and declared that he should get some sleep.
Reid didn't fight him on it, just nodding in agreement and watching with a tight mouth as Luke left the room. He followed a few minutes later, disappearing into his own room and finding sleep just as difficult to come by as it had been the night before.
