I don't own the characters. This chapter may seem speculative, but there are many answers within; the characters just don't know it yet.
Chapter 18: Explanations take such a dreadful time
EPOV
The Denali coven arrived with our equivalent of fanfare. There wasn't a spread of food or gifts, but there were hugs and smiles and laughter which all veiled the seriousness of the occasion. It had been a while since we'd seen our old friends. I remained on the couch with Bella, not wanting her to endure the greeting ritual. Her body registered distress, but I didn't know whether it was nerves or fear. She scanned the room occasionally and looked down quickly clearly overwhelmed by the sight of so many vampires in one place.
We'd been out to check on the wolves. Leah had calmed enough to re-join Jacob and Seth, but she refused to accept any clothes or food from the house. They were waiting for us to have more information before they broached any conversation with their former pack. Leah hoped they never did, but Seth kept trying to tell her it didn't make sense to hate them. They'd lost their father not long before, and he hated the idea that they were so close to their mother, but unable to go visit her.
I felt bad because we clearly couldn't invite her here right now. I had a feeling Bella would have liked to see Charlie too. They weren't all that close, but still, some familiarity would probably have been good for her. I couldn't imagine bringing more humans into this space though. We were pushing our luck with her.
Bella fidgeted as greetings were made. Logically, she knew the additional vampires were not a threat to her as she'd been informed that they shared our diet, but her emotions were raw, and they were driving her physical reactions as well.
Tanya was the first to approach us as we remained seated on the couch. Bella's heart rate sped as Tanya came near. I saw caught a glance Felix threw in Bella's direction. I heard the sharp inhale Demetri took as the rhythmic pounding increased. The subtle movements didn't go unnoticed by the others. Carlisle and Esme quickly moved to distract them with further introductions.
"Edward, why are you over there?" Tanya smiled warmly, seemingly oblivious to the reaction she'd caused. She glanced to Bella, and her smile didn't waver at all. She actually extended her hand out to her first. "You must be Bella; it's nice to finally meet you. I feel like I know you already."
"You and the entire vampire world," Bella said in return. There was a second where both Tanya and I were confused by the statement, but then Bella smiled coyly, and we all laughed. I stood to shake Tanya's hand but she pulled me into a hug.
"You silly, silly boy," she whispered. "Oh how I'm going to miss you."
She palmed my cheek, and I shook my head at her. She laughed. Bella watched with narrowed eyes.
"Something we need to discuss?" she asked when I sat back down. Her perceptiveness always caught me off guard. The hint of insecurity gleamed in her eye, and I found her jealousy endearing; it gave me hope.
"Later," I promised.
The formalities ended quickly. The anticipation of the news Eleazar bore was too much to limit ourselves to small talk. The room was expansive, but sitting next to the lone human in a room full of 14 vampires made it feel much smaller than it was.
I still kept a special eye on Felix and Demetri. They had both planned to hunt that evening but wanted to hear what information the new coven brought as much as the rest of us.
"I've never had so many people interested in what I had to say before," Eleazar commented as we all began to face him.
"Nonsense," Carmen corrected. "People always listen attentively to you." Their relationship was as strong as Carlisle and Esme's. They had that depth of connection, but without the banter or the obvious sexual undertones that Alice and Jasper or Rosalie and Emmett had. It was mature; broken in.
"I've had a chance to speak with Carlisle, and he's filled me in on what you've been through, Bella. That must have been incredibly frightening."
Bella hadn't expected to be addressed. The attention was difficult for her; she'd assumed that with her story on the table, she would be able to sit back quietly invisible. She bit her lip. The slight rush of blood that accompanied the action caused Demetri to lick his lips involuntarily. I gave Bella's hand a squeeze both as encouragement to speak and to draw her attention enough to cause her release the tender skin of her lower lip.
She exhaled and nodded. "It was."
"I imagine it is difficult to talk about, but I have a few more questions for you. I just want to follow up. Nothing too stressful, I hope."
She shrugged. "Go ahead."
"You say you heard the name Aro mentioned. Is that correct?"
"Yes."
"You didn't hear any other names then?"
"No, none. It's possible they called each other by name, but if I heard them, I don't remember them. I'm sorry."
"It's quite alright, Bella," he assured her. He turned his attention to Demetri. "Carlisle said you were aware of the one called James?"
"Yes, I can assume that if he was involved, the other two she mentioned were members of his coven. I believe the woman is James' mate, and the other just someone they took in."
"What do you know about them?"
"James is a tracker—he's good at it. Not as good as I am, but good nonetheless. Several years ago, he came to Italy, asking to join the Volturi. I didn't get a good vibe from him. I can't say what Aro, Marcus, and Caius thought of him for sure, but they refused his request. I think the official reason was that the guard was full. He didn't take it well, but what could he do really? I never talked with him personally, but I heard his name mentioned here and there in my work. Aro actually had me keep an eye on him for a couple of years because he worried that James was the type to draw unnecessary attention, but from what I gathered he was mostly talk.
"Interesting," Eleazar said. He was pensive, but not forthcoming. "Does anyone know of the other contact? This Garrett?"
"I do," Carlisle interjected. We'd barely had time to process any of Bella's testimony before the others arrived, so this was news to all of us. "Not well, but based on the description, I think I met him in passing in the late sixties."
Carlisle turned to Esme and then generally addressed his family, "Do you remember when I was teaching medical school, and I saw one of us in the midst of a campus protest?"
Esme immediately nodded in agreement, and the rest of us gave some sort of indication that we had a vague recollection.
"I spoke with him only briefly, encouraging him to move on so as to avoid any complication due to his hunting method. The name matches."
"What was he doing in the protest again?" Emmett asked.
"He said he was just having a little fun. I believe he fought in the American Revolution and apparently, he always carried that rebellious spirit with him. He said he found it hard to resist a good fight."
"So he was able to manage himself around humans even then," Eleazar stated.
"Yes. In fact, I commended him for it, and even invited him to spend some time with us, but he laughed. He enjoyed his nomadic life and showed no interest in joining a coven or traveling with a group of any kind.
Bella had sat up a little straighter. She leaned in to hear what she could about her former contact. She nodded in agreement. Carlisle smiled at her, and she relaxed back into her seat.
We had already asked Bella if she had his phone number or any way to contact him. She said she'd already tried the phone number she had, and the number was out of service. She thought she remembered an email address but hadn't had access to a means to send a message, and he'd always checked it sporadically anyway.
"I know you're anxious to hear what I have to say and are expecting answers. I'm afraid I only bring more speculation. We, too, had heard rumors of trouble. So, your call set my mind in motion."
"Eleazar," I began, anxious for him to get give us something we didn't know. "One of the things that has me most curious is how you were able to leave the Volturi. It was the main reason I wanted to contact you. I was hoping to discover if it held any hope for the rest of us to get out of this without confrontation."
"I know. And I don't believe my story will help you in the way you hope, though it may be pivotal. How much do you all know about the history of the Volturi?"
Most of shook our heads.
"You know the Volturi took power from the Romanians. That may play a factor as well; I'm just not sure to what extent yet.
Carlisle nodded in agreement. "We, too, have considered their influence. I am inclined to believe that they've got their hands in something but are not likely to be the ring leaders."
"That seems logical. Perhaps the rest of my story will help shed light on that. You see, after the Volturi took over, Marcus was not as interested in maintaining their position. Maybe he never was. He never really wanted the power; didn't care much about it. He and his wife, Didyme, eventually made plans to leave. As I understand it, they had a deep bond those two. And quite honestly, as I've been told, most vampires had more respect for that couple than they did anyone else in the Volturi. Marcus had made many friends over the years. He used to be a very agreeable man, and he loved to be around people, to share the strength of their connections. Aro was jealous, of course. It didn't matter that Marcus's mate was his own sister. He knew the loss of Marcus would make their power tenuous at best, partly because Marcus was well liked, but also the stronghold of their power always was about loyalty. With the Romanians still lurking about, it would be easy for their stronghold to crumble."
Most of what he was telling we probably all knew in some form or another. Not all of the details, but enough pieces of the puzzle. Bella appeared entranced. This was entirely new to her, and it read like a Gothic novel, her favorite genre.
"It is common knowledge that Didyme was killed, and after that Marcus became a shell of himself. His will was so reduced that he was easy affected by someone like Chelsea, and ultimately, he just didn't have the desire to leave. He didn't care anymore." There was an audible gasp from Bella when Eleazar mentioned Didyme's destruction.
"How was she killed?" Bella asked quietly still intently pondering the love story she'd heard.
"No one knows for sure," Felix said.
"It's true," Eleazar agreed. "Though there have always been rumors. I imagine they're still flying around."
He looked pointedly between Felix and Demetri, seeking confirmation. Demetri nodded. "Many think it was likely the Romanians. The timeline predates me, but her disappearance came a few hundred years after control was established in Volturi. The Romanians had nothing left by then. Their castles were gone, and any humans who had any memory at all had long since died out. Only the whispers of some ancient monsters existed. Vladmir and Stefan were holed up by then, and bitter. Most people assumed they knew they couldn't take over the guard, but Didyme was trusting and kind, and somehow maybe they got to her."
"Wait a minute," Bella interrupted wide eyed. "Vladmir? Romania? Is that . . .?"
"Probably," Eleazar smiled. "At least, I'm sure they would like to think so. They don't like feeling insignificant. Though I am sure there are plenty of fights among them about the fact that only Vlad's name lives on."
"So no 'Imapler?'"
"Perhaps there were both and people simply merged history and mythology. There's no way to know really," Carlisle added.
"I'm sorry." Bella's embarrassment showed in her blush. "I just studied this a lot. Please, go on with your story."
"It's okay, Bella," Eleazar assured her.
I would have expected to hear impatient thoughts from the others, but they all seemed equally engrossed in the story. Tanya was eyeing Bella reproachfully, but when she caught my sight, she looked away with a grin on her face.
"Carlisle, did you hear the rumors when you were there?" Eleazar asked him.
Carlisle rested his chin on his steepled hands. "I was trying to piece together what I knew at the time, and I don't remember anyone discussing it much. By then Marcus was already quite withdrawn. There was a brief instance when I thought he actually considered coming away with me when I left. He was the only one who seemed genuinely intrigued, but nothing came of it of course."
"I'm not surprised. On either account," Eleazar continued. "I owe my entire existence to that man, and for that I will forever be grateful. When I met Carmen, the life of the guard no longer held any appeal to me. I hadn't any ill will while I was there. I was fairly content, but then Chelsea may have influenced that. Or maybe I was just in a different place. Carmen and I simply knew we wanted a different life. I went to the three of them, as I suppose everyone else expected, they denied me exit. I was surprised. I don't know why exactly. Leaving the guard . . . alive . . . wasn't a common occurrence, but for whatever reason I thought I'd be on my merry way. A few days later, I was summoned to a meeting. I had no idea what to expect when I went, but I certainly did not think I would see Carmen standing before me. "
Felix's head snapped up. This scene was almost too familiar to him.
"Most of you can probably imagine the kind of games Aro tried to play—offering ultimatums—basically taunting us both with Caius egging him on. Marcus was oddly silent."
"He kept looking at me," Carmen added. "I don't know if you noticed that. It felt like he was searching for something."
"I suppose in hindsight, he was. He was reading our connection, maybe even remembering Didyme. I don't know for sure whether we would both have been destroyed or only Carmen, but before it came to that, Marcus intervened. He asked for our release. Then and there he made it about loyalty to the guard and doing what was asked; that membership had never been a requirement. He informed them of the strength of our bond was something he had rarely witnessed. He felt it would be a shame to break it."
"That worked?" Felix asked.
"No," Carmen shook her head. "Caius, especially, dismissed it. Marcus and Aro went back and forth for a while though. I always felt like they were having some conversation to which none of us were privy."
"Aro was about to issue an order when Marcus became irate. He walked over and grabbed Aro's arm, demanding that he owed him this one favor. Aro clearly saw something painful in Marcus' memory. And when Marcus let go, Aro stared at him for a long time before telling us to leave and never to return to Europe."
"Oh my god," Bella exclaimed.
"What it is?" I questioned.
"Aro killed Didyme," she deduced. Everyone turned toward her. She blushed deeply again at the attention. Expressions around the room ranged from doubt to shock to awe to whatever face of undying love I was wearing at the moment.
"You are a clever girl," Eleazar commended her. "That is exactly what I believe he saw in that memory. Marcus had learned the truth. Aro killed his sister to keep Marcus from fleeing from the Volturi."
"How did you figure that out?" I wondered..
"It was just a guess," Bella answered. Her eyes were wide. "I've read a lot of mysteries."
"Impressive," Tanya said, though her eyes were on me. She gave me an appreciative nod. "Not bad," she thought.
"Are you certain, Eleazar?" I ventured.
"No, not really., This is the part that where things complicated and speculative, Edward. I thought about that day so often. I had many suspicions about their exchange, but I had very little to go on. Only Marcus's final warning which was to cherish what we had because not everyone got the same opportunity we did. It was odd the way he said it; not really a warning but a lament, and he didn't say it to me, he directed it toward Aro. The other thing that always bothered me was that it just didn't add up. As we've already noted, the Romanians are not known for being highly motivated, but they do enjoy getting credit for their action. So, if they had been able to execute a plan as big as Didyme's destruction, wouldn't they have touted it? Loudly, in fact?"
"And why wouldn't the guard have gone after them? We've attacked based on rumor before," Felix added.
"Exactly," Eleazar agreed."But we have no proof," Carlisle stated.
"True," Eleazar said slowly. " I can't help but think this long standing rift between Marcus and Aro might be significant somehow. It's easy to think of Aro setting up Bella, but the motivation isn't as clear. What would he gain? He doesn't want rebellion, but perhaps, Marcus does?"
"No way," Demetri argued. "You have seen Marcus. There's practically nothing left of the man."
"He did seem quite weak," I agreed. "And I certainly didn't hear any thoughts that led me to question his loyalty."
Eleazar nodded and give a slight shrug. "It's merely speculation, as I said."
"So, I still don't know what the hell is going on," Rosalie said.
"That makes two of us," Emmett admitted. "We should play that game of 'what do you think; what do you know; what can you prove?'"
Rosalie looked at him like he'd grown a third eye.
"What? I saw it in a movie once; it helped them make sense of things."
"You know, it's not a bad idea," Carlisle encouraged. "I could use a refresher myself. Let's start with the what we know first. I have a feeling there is very little we can prove."
"Alice, do you have anything to share?" Kate piped up for the first time. "That would be a 'something we know.'"
"I wish I did. I think because so much is up in the air and no one has made any decisions, I'm just getting fuzz. I'm sorry."
"Perhaps, if we work through some this information, it will open things up for you, Alice," Carlisle suggested.
And this began an afternoon of discussion, at times heated, at times thoughtful, at times frustrated. The elements of the mystery were a twisted mess of barbed wire, and we were stuck smack dab in the middle. If we could figure out the motivations and the players, perhaps we would find a way out without getting caught on the barbs.
At some point, Alice grabbed a sketch pad from her room and began to jot notes as people talked. I had a feeling Jasper would turn that into a PowerPoint presentation later, replete with bubble charts. It was the way his mind worked. Emmett would tease him later, but secretly he'd be grateful. We all would be.
It wasn't easy to work through the information we'd received or to lay it out it any meaningful way. In the end, Carlisle's prediction was right. There was almost nothing we could prove; there was quite a bit we knew, and an infinite realm of possibility for what any of it meant.
Certain facts seem to rise above the rest. Bella was convinced that despite his apparent connection to James, Victoria, and Laurent, Riley was in no way involved in any plot against her, the Volturi, or anyone else. The rest of us were inclined to believe her; maybe because we wanted to believe his story as much as she did; maybe because his abstinence from humans was so rare that it just made sense. Either way, we decided that he had been as much a pawn as Bella herself. She classified it as "know;" I saw it as "think."
The potential link between James's coven and Aro was disconcerting to say the least. What kind of strings had Aro been pulling? Was Garrett also connected to Aro, or was there another unknown entity involved? We knew we had all the crucial pieces of information within reach. We could pick those pieces up and turn them around, but every time we tried to connect them, something didn't line up.
Our discussions carried on until late in the evening. A carefully constructed email was sent to the email address Bella remembered. It gave away as little as possible. We didn't know whether he was still alive or whether he would be alone while checking messages. For that matter, he might be the enemy himself.
I felt Bella sag against me. Her eyes fluttered, and she jerked herself back awake.
"You need sleep," I said. She wanted to fight me, but it was clear she didn't have the strength. "Come on, we'll get you a room."
I led her up the stairs and directed her toward Alice's room. She'd offered the bed there. Bella took one look inside and said, "This isn't your room."
"No," I acknowledged.
"Can I see your room?" she asked.
I stepped back, and pointed down the hall. We walked side by side, until we reached the door. Then she slowed to allow me to enter first. I reached in and flicked on the light. Then, I motioned for her to enter.
"You don't have a bed," she noted.
"No, I don't."
"I suppose you don't need one," she mused to herself. "But why did the other room have one?"
Her innocence touched me. "All of the couples have beds, Bella."
I shrugged slightly hoping my tone carried my meaning. Her eyes grew wider when realization hit. "Oh," she answered.
"As you said," I continued. "I never needed one. But it's okay, you can sleep in one of the other rooms."
"Not even with Tanya?" she asked defiantly, once again demonstrated the extent of her perceptiveness."You said later. It's later."
"It's late, and you should sleep."
"Some things are more important than sleep," she stated. "Edward, it's not a big deal. I have ex lovers. One of them is sleeping outside now."
"Yes, we had a relationship," I admitted slowly. "It's been over a while. It just didn't feel right to be with someone I couldn't love."
She exhaled. "There's something we have in common."
"Come on, let me take you to bed," I suggested.
"I would be more comfortable here." She looked me directly in the eye, silently telling me not to argue. "The couch is fine."
I would be lying if I tried to say that didn't please me.
I excused myself to get the pillows and blankets from the hall closet. I'd never understood why they were there. Esme always stocked our house as if it were any normal home. I was grateful for it, regardless.
She lay down on the makeshift bed.
"Well, goodnight," I said readying myself to let her sleep in privacy.
"Will you stay?" she asked. She seemed to experience doubt and added. "Just until I fall asleep. I mean . . . I'm sure you have plenty to do, and it would be pretty boring to stay here."
"Bella, watching you would never be boring. Of course I'll stay."
I took a few steps back toward her. I sat down on the end of the couch by her feet. She stretched her legs out and rested her feet on my lap. "Is this okay?" she wondered.
"Yes," I answered, picking up a foot and massaging it gently. It was all so exceptionally ordinary and infinitely extraordinary at the same time.
"This is all so weird. I still can't believe I'm here," Bella whispered after a period of quiet contemplation.
"It must be very uncomfortable for you."
"That's the strangest part." She pulled her legs back so she could sit up a bit on the arm of the couch. "It's not really. In some ways I feel more comfortable here than I ever have before. It's almost like I was always supposed to be here. Like I fit. I've never had that before. "
I pondered that thought. I considered again the possibility of her by my side, as an equal. All the years of resisting it suddenly seemed so ridiculous.
"Would you want to stay here permanently?" I tried to keep my inflection flat. I knew she was perceptive enough to get my meaning, but I couldn't ask the direct question.
"I'm not sure," she dragged out each word as if waiting for the answer to come somewhere in the middle. "I used to want that, more than anything. Well, you read. You know. Mostly, I just wanted to be with you, whatever it took. That's what I wanted."
I drew a ragged breath. "And then?"
"Like I said in the blog, delving into the reality made me wonder about the downsides. And then . . . well . . . seeing the other side, the other kind of . . . vampire. Well, how do you know which one you'll become?"
I reached toward her and touched her cheek in my hands. "It is up to the individual to decide, Bella. We may be more instinctual, but we still have free will."
She leaned into my hand. "It still feels amazing when you touch me."
"I feel the same way."
Our eyes locked for an instant, and then she looked down at her lap. "You really love me, Edward?"
"I really love you, Bella."
She sighed. "I don't' know what to do with that right now."
"I understand." And I did. But I knew what I wanted her to do with it.
"I mean . . . a part of me just wants to ask you to kiss me, but I know if I do that I won't stop, and I'm not sure that's a good idea right now." Her honesty was both refreshing and painful. I didn't want to stop with her foot either. "I think. Well, I know that I love you too, you know. But sometimes I worry that I don't know you at all, and I'm only in love with the you that I created in my head after all these years. After all, we only spent a few weeks together. Maybe the guy in my head isn't really you but just a figment of my imagination." How can we know that it's love?
"I know." I answered. "But I see what you mean. Maybe you could tell me about this guy. Pretend it's not me. Tell me who he is."
She smiled, contemplating the thought.
"Well . . . he's interesting," she began slowly. She spoke quietly as she seemed to stare at the picture in her mind, trying to find the right words to describe the image there. "He's kind of a broody boy."
"Broody?" I questioned. "I don't think that I'm . . ."
"Yes, broody," she answered definitively, cutting me off in the process. "Let me finish telling you about this boy. It was your idea."
"Fine," I said defensively.
"Like I said, he's broody, maybe a bit self important and controlling too." She was picking at the blanket. I'm sure I grimaced.
"He sounds like a winner," I teased.
"Well you see, that's the thing. He also makes me laugh. I remember the time we spent in the library, and we talked about everything. We laughed a lot. I felt more connected to him than I have anyone else in my life. Ever. And when he touches me, every single part of me comes alive."
I seized the opportunity and let me fingers dig deeper into her heel.
"And when we made love, I felt like I climbed inside his soul."
I inhaled just to let her envelop me entirely in that moment.
"But I wonder whether that was really him. The things we talked about, the way we were. Did they matter? Was he lying about that too?"
"He lied to you a lot. But I bet there were things he held sacred; things he tried very hard to make sure were always real."
"I hope so," she said softly.
"Bella, I don't know what comes next any more than you do. Our future may be very short. I only know that I want you as a part of that future no matter the length, no matter what form you may or may not take."
"Would it all be easier if I were . . . like you?"
"I don't think it's that simple."
"It would be easier to protect me."
"Maybe, but it's complicated. For one, newborns are unpredictable, and we would have to worry about keeping you contained. But also, it would break the treaty we have with the Quileutes, and that would create a whole other set of issues. Besides, you don't want that." I said it as more of a question.
"I don't know what I want, Edward." She yawned. I patted her legs.
"Sleep, Bella. We'll figure it all out."
"I changed my mind about something," she said suddenly.
I looked at her and waited.
"I think I would like to kiss you after all."
E/N: Pay very close attention to Eleazar's theories; he's a very perceptive man. He's given answers and foreshadowed important elements of what they are dealing with.
Edward and Bella jumped leaps and bounds in this chapter. There is a glimmer of hope for those of you who could not see an HEA.
Next up is another blog, and then we're looking at 2 action packed chapters following that as everything comes to a head.
Thanks as always to hmonster4, beta extraorinaire. Thanks to staceygirl aka jackbauer and daisy3853 for the pre-read this week.
I need to offer special love and gratitude to Jennde, who rec'd Rabbit Hole on the Perv Pack Smut Shack's lemon shot series this week. http://www (dot) pervpackssmutshack (dot) com/2009/10/jennde-wants-you-to-explore-rabbit-hole (dot) html Be sure to check out Finding Home and her super emotional one shot, Unplanned.
