Chapter 8 - Happy New Start!

The rest of the days he spent in Seattle helped Derek practice his role as father for Daniel. It was easy to answer his games and it got easier to see when Daniel was trying to cross the line with him. Meredith, on the other hand, he hadn't spent much time with her. She was at work, most of the times, and when she was home, she was around Daniel or spending time with Damon. He was sure she was avoiding him.

Derek didn't feel like coming back to New York for the New Year party; he had a lot of things to sort out. Addison, for instance, wasn't very happy with the fact that he called to cancel their holiday plans. He had to figure out each person's role in his life and set new priorities.

He knocked at Mark's door, his first stop from the airport. A little time with Mark could distract him a little from his messy life and maybe can give him some directions, because surprisingly, Mark could be that helpful sometimes.

"You're back," Mark looked surprised to see Derek at his door.

Derek chuckled and stepped in. "I heard that so often lately, that I've started to think I was gone on a different planet." He stopped suddenly, in the middle of the room and looked around him. Something was going on. Looking better at Mark, he saw him wearing sweat clothes and had a beer in his hand. "Where's the party?" Derek asked him.

Mark scratched the back of his neck. "I may not party tonight."

"What? Why? Who am I going to party with?"

"That's a good question," Addison startled him as she spoke right behind him.

Derek turned around, surprised with Addison's presence there. He was even more surprised to discover that she was pretty tipsy, already. "Addie..."

Addison chuckled and lifted her hand to silence him. "So, you're back."

"Addison..." he said her name, but wasn't sure what he wanted to tell her.

"No," she shook her head and the bottle of beer.

"You're drunk. And you drink beer. You don't even like beer."

"I don't like a lot things," she chuckled tipsily. She walked around him and managed to collapse into a chair. "I guess I could have called you and tell you not to come," she babbled. "But I did...not" she giggled, caressing the bottle of beer. She leaned over the couch to put the bottle on the coffee table and let her head hung over the couch arm. "I am too dizzy to go out."

"What is she doing here?" Derek asked Mark.

"She had some rough days," he answered. "Since you canceled everything, actually," he added, whispering.

"And I am canceling everything!" Addison shouted and burst into laugh. "Everything."

"You need to get some sleep," Derek took a step towards her, to help her stand up. But Addison pulled away. "You're drunk and you don't know what you're saying."

"I do!" she pouted childishly. "Tell him, Mark."

Mark just nodded.

Derek stepped back and turned to Addison, waiting for an explanation.

"I am canceling everything; the vacations... oh wait, you canceled that already... the wedding. I am canceling all the plans we had together."

"Addison..." Derek tried to convince her not to go on while she was under the effect of alcohol.

Addison stood up, standing perfectly steady on her feet, and suddenly looked as if she hadn't put a drop of alcohol in her mouth. "I am not ready for your ... package. I am not ready to be a step-mom; be a mom, be a second wife or... love of your life... whatever she was to you," she added in the end, mumbling. "I am not," she looked into Derek's eyes. She leaned to him, resting her hands on his chest. "And you don't know what you want, right now. So I am all for a long break in our relationship. I need it, but you need it the most."

Derek was shocked with her words. His mind was in complete haze and didn't know if to smile and thank her or plead her not to go on and talk about it again, later.

Apparently, Mark didn't have to do anything to help him. The situation was solving itself.

---

It was evening, a few hours before the new year, and the house was quiet. The lights were on in living room, only, where Meredith and Daniel were focused on their coloring books.

"Give me the red crayon," Meredith asked him, paying close attention to the drawing she had to color.

Daniel looked around and picked one crayon, giving it to his mother.

"This is blue, Danny," Meredith told him.

Daniel looked at her hand and then at the rest that laid between them, on the couch. He picked the right one and handed it to Meredith. He rubbed his eyes then and let out a long yawn.

"Let's go to bed," his mother told him, as she put the book aside.

"But no!" Daniel pouted, sleepy. "I want to see the New Year" he mumbled.

Meredith smiled down at him. Damon and Derek had told him a little about New Year and he surely believed it was something magical that worth fighting against heavy eyelids. "You know, the New Year is not a person. It won't bring you toys, like Santa."

Daniel furrowed his brows. "I know. I want to see it."

Meredith just nodded. She didn't insist because she knew he would soon crawl onto her lap and fall asleep.

---

"Derek," Carolyn Shepherd was surprised to see her son on her doorstep. It were the last hours of the year and almost everyone was getting ready for the party that was to come. Carolyn looked like she was getting ready for a party, too; beneath her bathrobe, a red dress or something had its turn to be tried on.

"Hey," he smiled, embarrassed as he realized he was disturbing.

"Come in," she invited him. It was obvious to her that something serious had happened. "When did you come back from Seattle?"

"2 hours ago, I think," he sighed. "I am disturbing."

"No," she motioned him to follow her into the living room. "Take a seat," she pointed to the couch. "How's Daniel?"

Derek managed to smile sincerely. "He's great. Intelligent and a really good boy."

Carolyn smiled. "Meredith?"

"She's... fine."

"What happened?"

Derek didn't put the useless question 'how do you know'; his presence there made it useless. "Addison broke up with me," he told her.

"Oh," she looked sincerely disturbed with the news.

Derek nodded. "But it's fine. I guess. I needed this break."

"Is it a break only or you canceled the wedding?"

"Canceled the wedding," he answered. "And..." he paused for a while, looking for the right words. "I am moving to Seattle."

Carolyn stared at him.

"Mom," he whined, looking away as her stare was getting disturbing.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," he answered. "This way I can be closer to Daniel. And Meredith..." he stopped there as he didn't know how to express his feelings for Meredith.

"I get that you want to be closer to your son, but I don't know if Daniel is a reason enough to start your relationship with Meredith over."

"I don't know about that. I just know that I need to make a change. For Daniel mostly."

"And your job here?"

"Richard Webber is still the Chief of Surgery at the hospital Meredith works at. We've worked together before, so I am sure he has something to offer me. Besides that, he will retire in one of the years to come, so I'd better be around."

Carolyn shook her head slightly.

"You don't agree," Derek noticed sadly.

"I don't have to agree, Derek. If you're truly convinced that you're ready for this, then go for it. You're not good at handling more things at the same time, so be careful."

Derek found it appropriate to joke, "You know I am good at juggling."

Carolyn just smiled. "Are you sure everything is over with Addison? You've been together for a long time."

"Don't tell me you're going to miss her."

"I won't. Will you?"

Derek sighed. "I don't know. Probably not. I need a break, that's all I know. And I need to focus on my new life in Seattle."

"It means that you and Addison are not on time-out," she pointed out.

Derek looked up, taking her words in. They weren't on time-out. They were over. He nodded as answer.

"Good luck, then."

---

"Mommy," Daniel whimpered, sleepily rubbing his eyes.

"Come here," Meredith took his hand and gently pulled him onto her lap.

He crawled and lay on, closing his eyes and taking his thumb into his mouth.

"Don't do that," she told him, softly as she pulled his thumb out of his mouth.

"When's Derek comin'?" he asked.

"Derek? Isn't he Daddy, anymore?"

Daniel shook his head. "Derek is pretty," he stated sleepily and let out a yawn.

"Derek's prettier than Daddy?" Meredith laughed. "We'll have to ask him if he doesn't mind that you want to call him Derek. Do you like him?"

"Uh-huh," he stood up and looked at his mom. "Why he left?"

"Because he has other friends in New York. He has his job there."

"Why?"

Meredith sighed. She wasn't sure she was ready for such big question at that late hour. "Because... he found it before you were born. He likes it there," she tried to explain. "But he promised he would come to see you very often from now on."

It was Daniel's turn to sigh. "Mommy?"

"What, sweetie?"

"Mommy, what's a daddy?"

"Didn't I explain that to you before?"

Daniel nodded. "He's like a mommy."

"That's right."

"But mommy, I 'uv you more."

Meredith giggled and pulled him into her arms, for a big hug. "You'll learn to love him just as much. You'll see what a father means."

"Mommy?"

"What now?"

"Mommy, can we call him and tell him good night?"

"We can't," Meredith shook her head, smiling. "Everyone is having a party at this hour, so we can't interrupt him."

Daniel looked at his mom and then around, rubbing his eyes. "I want to palty, too."

"No. You want to sleep." she gave him a kiss and took the coloring book off his lap. As she picked him up, Daniel put his head down on her shoulder, ready to sleep.

She left everything as it was in the couch and decided to call it a day. She walked out of the room and turned the lights off. Just as she did that, there was a knock at the door.

Daniel lifted his head and looked at his mommy.

Meredith was a little startled. There was less than an hour left from this year and she wasn't expecting company. She turned around, determined to ignore whoever was at her door. It was safer. But there was another knock and someone's voice calling her name.

Daniel and Meredith looked at each other. "Who is it?" she quietly asked Daniel, as if he could know.

"It's Derek," he whispered.

Meredith smiled at him, with distrust.

"Meredith?" there was another knock. "It's me! Derek!"

Daniel started to giggle.

"Derek?" Meredith muttered, confused. She turned the lights back on and went to answer the door.

Derek was standing right there on her porch. "What..." she wanted to ask, but she was too surprised and too confused for words.

Derek smiled genuinely. "Can I come in?"

Meredith opened the door and let him in. Daniel fussed in her arms to go to his father.

"What are you doing up at this hour?" Derek took him.

"Did you miss your flight?" Meredith asked him.

Derek just smiled at her. "Why isn't he sleeping?"

"I... I was just taking him upstairs. But what..."

"I will explain. Let's put him in the bed."

Daniel was more than thrilled to be tucked in by his father, again. He didn't enjoy the moment for long as he lost the battle with the sleep.

"He wanted to spend the New Year with me," Meredith told Derek as they returned downstairs. "Now can you explain?"

Derek nodded. "Can I stay here for a few more days?"

Meredith stared at him, dumbfounded.

"Addison and I broke up and I decided it was the best to move here," Derek explained, helping her come out of that state of confusion.

Meredith was still too confused for words.

"So, can I stay?" he asked her, again.

"Yes," she mumbled.

"I have a few things. I didn't bring much."

She just nodded and watched him leaving the house to bring his things from his car.

"You have a car," she managed to notice.

Derek chuckled. "I rented it. I was lucky because they were about to close up."

"It almost midnight," she pointed out.

Derek took out a bottle of champagne. "Do you mind celebrating it with me?"

Meredith smiled. "No. I could need some company. I am bringing the glasses."

"I had a full day," he stated, when Meredith returned to him with the glasses. "I woke up in the morning; had breakfast with Danny; we played a little; then I packed, I flew to New York, I walked around New York and I also managed to fly back to Seattle and tuck my son in."

"What happened?"

The bottle pocked loudly as Derek opened the champagne. He filled their glasses and toasted for the new year.

"Danny," he answered. "I am changing everything. For Daniel and for you."

"But Derek, that's..."

"Big. I know."

"Are you sure? How about Addison? Your job? Your life there?"

"Addison?" he answered. "She broke up with me so she helped be clarify the relationship we had. The job? Richard Webber could help me with the job. And as for my life there... it moved here."

Meredith kept staring at him. Everything was all of a sudden. "Are you sure? So all of a sudden?"

Derek couldn't give any answer, but a shrug. "I don't know what to say, Mer," he admitted. "Everything is... scary and exciting, at the same time."

Meredith giggled. She nodded, as she knew that feeling. She looked at Derek and said excitedly, "Congratulations! You're going to have a baby."

Derek froze with his glass to his mouth, staring at Meredith.

"What?" she laughed. She knew what his confusion was for, but it was fun to tease him a little. The situation was complicated, but this wasn't the right time for worries. It was almost midnight and they were drinking champagne. They had to let the new year come to see what it would bring for them.

"We didn't have sex for a while," he muttered.

Meredith laughed and patted his shoulder, reassuring. "You do really not believe that I am pregnant. Right?"

Derek's thoughts clicked just then. He started to laugh, too, and shook his head.

"That's exactly how I felt when I decided to keep the baby," she explained. "It was definitely scary; exciting, just a little, but in the end..." she smiled at him. "…it was the right choice."

Derek took her words in. He looked at his watch and held up his glass. "Happy New Year."

Meredith smiled, "Happy New Year."

They sipped from their glasses, smiling at each other. It was natural to lean in and kiss softly. Derek held her cheek cradled in his palm as their lips brushed together.

"You're doing it again," she muttered.

"Doing what?" he asked, pulling back and smiling at her.

"This," she pointed between them.

Derek chuckled and nodded. "But you leaned in, too, this time."

Meredith kept looking at him, questioning. "Why?"

He answered with a sincere shrug. "It's the custom, I guess. We used to kiss a lot when we were together. Remember?"

"I remember, but we're not together anymore."

Derek put his best smile on. "I missed you."

Meredith smiled, but she knew it was wrong to smile. "You just broke up with your fiancé."

Derek shrugged and sipped from his glass. "I think we broke up a while ago," he stated. He pulled away, sitting comfortable in the couch. "You made it through with the news of becoming a mom."

"I did," she nodded. "And you'll make it through, too," she reassured him.

Derek smiled appreciatively. He held out one hand to her.

She looked at it and put hers over his.

He gently squeezed it.

"I missed you, too," she stated, barely audible, while still looking at their hands.

He squeezed her hand, again, and gently pulled her to him. He put their glasses aside and took Meredith onto his lap. She ran her fingers through his hair, his hands wandered underneath her sweater; it needed just a spark to start the fire.