As the next painful contraction hits, I know this is a disaster.
What was I thinking?
I could do this if Peeta was here, holding my hand, stroking my hair.
Thing is, he's not.
I yelled at him a week ago, and I can't even remember what started it. But it was so serious that he told me we both needed some space to calm down and think, and left. I tried telling him this was crazy, to come back and kiss me, but he just kept on walking. I guess when I yelled that I never really wanted kids, and had done it to please him, that struck a chord.
Why had I said that? I didn't mean it. Sure, at first, before we got married, I thought the only way I'd ever get pregnant would be to make him happy. But when we sat there, in front of that fire, about to eat burnt bread, I looked into his deep cerulean eyes. Something inside of me clicked in that moment, and I knew, I just knew, that I wanted children too. It wasn't because it would make him happy, which I already knew, but I discovered that it would make me happy. So instead of analyzing and freaking out over that, I decided to tell him. This honesty thing goes both ways, and as his wife, I should be able to tell him everything.
Now, as I sit on the couch, contractions slowly getting closer together, I wish he were here. I wish I hadn't yelled at him, that I was able to make him come back. I wish that when he called yesterday to talk, I hadn't screamed at him for abandoning me while I'm almost to term. He'd calmly told me that he was right down the road, and hung up. Not even an 'I love you'. Not even an 'I miss you'.
I try to get up off the couch, but it's harder than I thought. Carrying twins is no fun in the end, and my stomach is bigger than I thought it could ever get. Damn Peeta and his good genes. Finally I make it to my feet, and I'm instantly dizzy and wobbly. I feel like my blood sugar is dangerously low. I'm getting woozy quickly, and my head feels incredibly light. I waddle as quick as I can out to the hallway to try and grab the phone to call Peeta, or Prim, or Haymitch, or anyone.
I'm five feet away from the phone when I collapse.
No matter how hard I try, I can't bring myself to my feet again. I can see the phone. I can almost reach the cord with my hand. For some reason, I'm unable to even crawl any closer. Something is preventing me from asking for help, preventing me from spilling my heart out to my husband and begging forgiveness, telling him the truth.
Oh God, I'm really going to give birth alone in our hallway.
My eyes snap open and Prim is standing above me. My breath is quick, my heart almost beating out of my chest.
"Are you okay Katniss?" Prim asks, worried.
"Where's Peeta?" I croak out.
"I don't know," Prim shrugs casually. "He's your husband," she smirks.
"Seriously, Prim, where's Peeta," I plead. I'm starting to really freak out now.
"Katniss, you don't look so good," she observes. "Come on, let's get you into bed and I'll find Peeta."
I nod and she grabs my arm, helping me stand up from the couch.
As soon as I'm on my feet, my peripheral vision darkens, and my world goes black.
The next time I wake up, I'm on a bed. But it isn't our bed. I can feel the rough, starchy feel of uniform sheets against my skin. I can't open my eyes yet. I can smell the unmistakable scent of saline and plastic. I must be at the healer's, I deduce.
I force my eyes to open, and I look around. I am at the healer's, in one of the small patient rooms. There's an IV line going into my right arm.
Suddenly I remember my nightmare. But wait, I'm only seven months along. I look down at my belly, and, thankfully, the twins are still safely in my womb. I let out a huge sigh of relief. I don't know what I'd do….I can't even think about it. It's too depressing, too world-shattering to even contemplate.
My left hand feels like there's an enormous amount of pressure on it. It almost feels like it's asleep. Shifting my head a little to the left, I look down.
Well, that explains the pressure.
Peeta is there, both hands wrapped around my left hand tightly, his head resting on top. He must have been sitting there for a while before he fell asleep. My poor Peeta. What have I put him through now? Not only am I here, but I'm seven months pregnant with our twins. While I can obviously see that I'm still pregnant, I don't know if I hurt them. If I did, I don't think I could ever get past that guilt. I'm their mother. I'm supposed to protect them, no matter what. My womb is supposed to be a safe place for them to grow, until they're ready to join the world.
I slowly lift my right arm, noticing how drowsy and lethargic I feel, being careful of the IV line, and bring it across my body. I gently start threading my fingers through Peeta's hair, needing to reassure myself, needing to feel his presence.
"Oh, Peeta," I whisper. "I'm so sorry."
I spend about twenty minutes just sitting here, staring at him, running my fingers through his messy blonde locks. He's been letting it grow out recently, and I'm loving it. It's curling out more than usual, and I'm playing with it on a daily basis more than I usually do.
Finally, I can hear his breathing become shallower, and his breath hitches slightly. He sniffles a bit, muffled by his position face down on our interlocked hands.
After a few seconds, he slowly raises his head, his eyes heavy with lack of sleep. It takes him a moment to realize that I'm awake, staring at him, my fingers in his hair. I move my hand down to cup his cheek gently, slowly rubbing circles with my thumb.
"Kat!" He exclaims. "You're awake," he smiles wide. The best kind of smile, the kind of smile I remember him giving me at our wedding, or when I told him I was pregnant.
"Peeta," I whisper, unable to raise my voice any higher, "I love you."
"I love you too Katniss," he tells me lovingly.
"What happened?" I whisper.
"Oh, Katniss, don't worry about that now honey. You just rest and get better," he tells me.
"No, Peeta," I whisper back, "tell me right now. What. Happened."
He sighs, leaning into my hand on his cheek slightly.
"Prim says she came into our house and you were on the couch thrashing, in the middle of a nightmare. When she woke you up, you apparently freaked out and panicked because I wasn't home. She tried to get you upstairs to put you to bed and come find me. But when she got you to your feet, you blacked out and fainted," he explains slowly with a sad tone to his voice.
"Peeta," I whisper frantically, "the twins?" I look down at my belly, indicating that I want to know if anything has happened to them. The couple seconds before he answers are the longest of my life.
"The twins are fine, honey," he smiles. I return it warily. "When you blacked out, Prim made sure you fell backwards onto the couch. Then she called me, and I brought you here to the healer's."
"What's wrong with me?" I'm able to croak out.
"They tell me it's a combination of a panic attack, exhaustion, and stress. Kat, what was your nightmare about? What made you panic so much?"
Tears spring to my eyes when I think about the nightmare. How scared and alone I felt. How vulnerable I was, sitting in that hallway, afraid I was going to give birth all by myself. How angry I was with myself for being a complete bitch to my husband.
"I – I – I was going into labor," I start quietly. "But you weren't there. I was at home. We'd gotten in a fight and you weren't there, Peeta. I tried getting to the phone to call you, but I couldn't. I was in the hall, all alone, scared, frightened, terrified. Peeta, never ever leave me alone again. Ever. I'm serious. If you go to the bakery, I'm coming with you. If I go out to the woods, you're coming with me. I don't care if you scare all the game in a five-mile radius, I…Don't. Want. To. Be. Alone."
Peeta begins to cry silently as I tell him of my nightmare, and I plead for him to stay with me. I know I sound needy and clingy, but I really don't care. I'm absolutely serious.
"Kat, I'm so sorry," he sobs.
"When Prim woke me up, you weren't there," I explain, "and I thought the nightmare was true. I panicked. I – I – I guess I couldn't deal with it. I'm so sorry, Peeta. I could've hurt the twins. I could've hurt myself. What if Prim wasn't there? What if something happened and I needed a doctor but I was alone? What if – "
He cuts my rant off by pressing his lips to mine. It's not a passionate kiss, but the kiss of two people who have been apart, like two survivors of a horrible catastrophe reuniting. My hands shoot to his hair, while he gently cups my face with his.
"Shh," he quiets me as he rests his forehead gently against mine. "Prim was there. Don't worry about the what ifs. You'll drive yourself crazy doing that, Kat. What matters now is that you're as healthy as possible, the twins are healthy, and the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly."
"Okay," I agree, unable to even fathom arguing with him when we're in such close proximity. I can feel his breath against my lips, his eyes looking into my very soul.
"Peeta," I whisper, "I want to go home."
He slowly sits back down, taking my left hand again, kissing my wedding ring.
"You have to spend one more night here for observation, then we can go home tomorrow, okay?"
"One more night? Peeta, how long was I out?" I ask.
"Kat, you were asleep for two days."
"Two days?" I repeat. "What? Why?"
"Your body needed to rest. They gave you and twins nutrients through the IV, and kept you sedated. Your mind needed time to rest too. We wanted you to be calm when you woke up. It really scared Prim, Katniss. It really scared me."
"Oh, Peeta, I'm so sorry I scared you," I sob. "Please don't leave me. Please. I love you," I beg, my hormones causing me to think the worst automatically. "I'll do anything, I swear. Please."
"Shh, Kat, stop talking crazy," he smirks. "I would never leave you. I promised you, remember? Didn't I marry you, silly?"
"Yeah, I guess," I glumly admit.
"What, so now our marriage is a sad affair?" He teases.
"No!" I try to appease. "No not at all. I'm just – trying to take this all in, Peeta. It's a shock to my system."
"I know, Katniss. I'll be right here with you the whole time."
"You've sat there the entire time I've been here, haven't you," I mildly scold.
He just nods sheepishly.
"Peeta," I scold, "that's not healthy. You can't just sit in the same spot for two days. What would we do without you?" I motion to the twins.
"Kat, I'm sorry," he pleads. "But you were asleep. I couldn't leave you until I knew you were okay. You're my wife, Katniss, you mean more to me than anything. If I was in this bed, would you have left my side?"
"Of course not," I automatically reply.
"Exactly," he points out. "We're both loyal to a fault, Kat, and that loyalty is most fierce when it comes to each other."
"You're right," I admit. "I just worry about you, honey."
"I know, but you're the one in the hospital bed," he grins.
"Fair enough," I shrug.
We spend the rest of the afternoon and night quietly talking, Peeta filling me in on what happened while I was out. Apparently I've had a steady stream of visitors, but I obviously had no idea. I notice there's a good amount of flowers around the room. I look to the nightstand to my left, and notice a large bouquet of dandelions.
"Peeta," I point to them, "where'd those come from?"
"I had Prim pick them for you this morning," he tells me. "I know they're your favorites."
"They're my favorites because they remind me of you, Peeta," I explain. He smiles, matching mine.
The healers and my mother come in to speak with me, and confirm that if all goes well during the night, I can go home in the morning. They want me to take it easy for the rest of my pregnancy. My mother threatens to put me on bed rest, but I convince her it's not necessary – yet, Peeta adds. I frown at him.
I get more and more tired as the day drags on, and by nine in the evening, I'm falling asleep. Peeta is still by my side, quietly stroking my hand. He gave me a back rub about an hour ago, and I'm very relaxed now.
"Peeta," I whisper.
"Hmm?" He looks up at me.
"Hold me?" I ask shyly.
"Kat, I don't know if that's a good idea," he warns.
"I don't care if it's a good idea, Peeta. I need you arms around me tonight," I plead.
When he hears the neediness in my voice, he understands. So, he nods, kicks his shoes off, and helps me slide a little to my right. The bed isn't very big, but that just means we'll be closer. He lays down and opens his arms wide. I turn slightly onto my left side into him, laying my head above his armpit near his neck. I feel him lay his cheek on top of my head, and rub my belly, which is almost on top of him now.
"I love you, Peeta, forever. Thank you for staying with me."
"I love you too, Katniss. Always."
Two Weeks Later
It's been two weeks since I got home from the healer's, and, to almost everyone's surprise except my own, I've been taking it easy. Haymitch was stunned, until I firmly reminded him that this isn't about me, it's about my twins. Then he got it.
Peeta and I are cleaning the house, preparing it for tonight. We're both giddy with excitement, but also a bit nervous.
Tonight, Finnick and Annie are coming over.
They insisted on making the trip out to 12. Because we're Victors, we're allowed to travel between Districts at will, unlike regular citizens. At first, I wanted to go to 4, and visit the beach again. But, I am over seven months pregnant, so it wasn't the best idea for me to travel. Finnick and Annie were ecstatic about coming to visit, and their train should arrive in about an hour.
They're staying the night and leaving tomorrow, so we'll put them up in one of the many guest bedrooms upstairs. Peeta spent almost all day literally slaving over a hot stove, cooking a delicious meal for us. I set the dining room table with our finest china and silverware, a white tablecloth, and some candles to set the mood. Peeta has truly turned me into a housewife. Well, except for the fact that he's the one cooking all the time, and I'm the one who usually goes out and brutally kills our dinner. We've always been into the whole role-reversal thing.
We've talked to Finnick and Annie on the phone numerous times since we met them in the Capitol. We've even had a couple videoconferences with them after our Rebel meetings. We've become fast friends, finding we have a lot in common as people and as couples. It feels like we've known them a lot longer than we have. That's how I always felt with Peeta.
Soon, we're walking to the train station to get them. I've been reduced to slowly waddling everywhere, looking like some kind of weird duck. Peeta find it hilarious, and I just scowl at him and remind him that I'm the one carrying his children. That usually shuts him up quickly.
Peeta finds a bench and helps me sit down. He sits down next to me and we wait for the train to arrive, holding hands of course.
A couple minutes go by, and we hear the stationmaster announce the arrival. There's a fair number of District residents waiting for the train, to pick up various packages and deliveries. We're probably the only people waiting for actual passengers.
Peeta helps me to my feet, putting one hand on my lower back while I clutch the other one in my hand, and we slowly walk together to the front of the train.
"Katniss!" I hear Annie yell. I turn my head and I see her jumping off the last step onto the ground. She starts running towards us. "Oh my god! Look at you!"
Finnick is behind her, a wide smile on his face, carrying their bags. Peeta moves to help him, and Finnick gladly cedes a couple to him.
Annie makes it to me and slows down before she bowls me over. She envelops me in an awkward side hug, seeing as how it's now almost impossible to hug me face to face.
"Hi Annie," I smile.
"Katniss! You look simply amazing! You're glowing!" She gushes.
Everyone tells me I'm 'glowing', and I never know what they're talking about. Even Peeta says it, but nobody can actually explain it to me. Whatever. At least I don't think it's an insult.
The boys join us and Finnick gives me a hug while Annie gives Peeta one. Finnick sneaks a peck onto my cheek and smirks at Peeta.
"Finnick…," Annie warns.
"What?" Finnick shrugs innocently. "We're all friends here!"
"Really?" Peeta teases. "So you wouldn't mind….if I did this?" And he leans over and pecks Annie on the cheek, turning back to smirk at Finnick.
"No," Finnick says, but I can tell he really doesn't like it, even if he knows Peeta means nothing by it. I know that although Finnick is our friend, it still bothered Peeta the tiniest bit seeing him kiss me on the cheek. Ugh, men, and their possessiveness.
We all smile and laugh, starting the walk back to Victor's Village.
"So, what's the plan?" Finnick asks.
"Well, we have dinner ready, and then we can either talk a walk around the District or just hang out. Sorry, no fun beaches here," I tell them with a smile.
"Sounds great," Annie says, Finnick nodding his agreement.
"I just hope Katniss didn't cook," Finnick jokes. I turn and scowl at him.
"No, Peeta did," I say threateningly.
"Thank god!" Finnick says, mockingly relieved.
Right before our house, I turn to them and ask a question I'd been wondering.
"Hey guys, how are you telling people we met? Because I don't think we can go around saying we met at a secret meeting of a cabal of rebels planning to overthrow the government? We might get in trouble…"
"Oh don't worry about that. I just say Haymitch introduced us. He knows everyone," Finnick tells me like he's not worried at all.
We make it back to our house fairly quickly, considering my waddle, and show them to their room. We let them get settled and freshen up, while Peeta and I wait downstairs, putting finishing touches on the cake Peeta baked for the occasion. He won't let me see it yet.
They tumble down the stairs after about ten minutes, Finnick yelling about how hungry he is. Peeta chuckles, and comments on how he hopes he made enough food.
Of course, we're having lamb stew, my favorite. I've been craving it almost daily lately.
We sit down at the table, me next to Peeta with Finnick and Annie across from us. We start out with a light salad, which I actually tossed. I'm very proud of myself, and Peeta and Annie are very praising, while Finnick just makes fun of me, saying anyone can do that.
Peeta brings out the lamb stew, then goes back into the kitchen and reappears with a large basket filled to the brim with cheese buns.
"Peeta, you didn't," I say in awe.
He just shrugs like it was no big deal.
"I baked them while you napped this afternoon," he tells me. "I know you've been craving them."
For some reason, the fact that he baked me cheese buns when I hadn't asked him to makes me very emotional. Tears spring to my eyes and I find myself hugging him tightly.
"I don't deserve you," I whisper. "You're too good to me."
"You are carrying his twins," Finnick points out with a chuckle.
I give Peeta a quick peck on the lips and sit down.
"Yeah, but sometimes I feel like that's all I do for him," I explain.
"That's not true," Finnick says. "Peeta tells me about so many things you do for him. Like last week when you cleaned up his art studio while he was asleep. Or how about when you help him with his prosthetic and help clean and massage his leg every single night? All those little things mean a lot, Katniss."
I look to Peeta and he just looks embarrassed, like Finnick just revealed stuff he told him in private conversations.
"Really, Peeta?" I ask disbelievingly. "You really think I do a lot for you?"
"Of course, Kat," he says turning to me. "Everyday you do something, anything really, that just makes me fall in love with you all over again."
"Aww," Annie coos. "That's sweet. How come you never say anything like that to me, Finnick?"
"Stop making me look bad Mellark," Finnick jokingly yells at Peeta.
"Hey, it's not his fault you're not smooth," I butt in.
"You don't think I'm smooth?" He turns to Annie, a hurt expression on his face.
Annie just laughs.
"Sure you are, Finny. Smooth as silk."
"Why don't you two just tie the knot already?" I blurt out.
Silence.
Awkward glances.
Uh oh.
"Um, uh," Finnick mumbles.
"We're waiting," Annie supplies.
"For what?" Is my involuntary reaction.
"I don't know," Annie grumbles, looking down at her plate.
"Guys, I'm sorry," I apologize. "I didn't mean to bring up a touchy subject. I'm sorry. Let's just move on."
"Wait," Peeta interjects. "You guys are perfect. Anybody can see that. I knew it before I even met you. Seriously, what are you waiting for?"
They look at each other, I mean really look at each other, and have a silent conversation.
"Have we ever told you how we got engaged?" I ask.
"No," they say together.
"You want to tell it, honey?" I ask Peeta.
"No way, it's your story to tell," he replies, taking my hand.
"Well, we'd been together for about a month. I don't know if I told you guys this, but when we got home from our Games, I lied to Peeta. I told him that I was acting during the Games, that I didn't really love him. For two weeks I let it go on. We were both…..depressed, to say the least. Finally, my mom and sister talked some sense into me, and I immediately ran over to Peeta's. After some groveling, and a long explanation, he forgave me."
"How could I not?" He adds with a smile. They nod.
"Anyways," I continue. "The next month was amazing. I practically lived here, so one day, Prim confronted me about just moving in with Peeta. So, that night, I suggested it at dinner, and he was more than happy. The next morning, we were lying on the couch in the living room relaxing after breakfast. Peeta said something like, 'I'll always want to be with you, never doubt that'. Something just clicked in my brain, and I knew I wanted to be married to him forever. So, I whispered, 'marry me'. Of course, I had to convince him I was serious, but by sundown, we were husband and wife."
"Wow," Annie and Finnick both look stunned.
"Annie," Finnick says quietly.
"Yes Finny?"
"What are we waiting for?"
"I told you, I don't know," she shrugs.
"Well, I'm tired of waiting."
"What are you saying Finnick?"
"Annie Cresta, will you marry me?"
"YES! OF COURSE! OH MY GOD!" She almost jumps on Finnick, kissing him all over his face.
Wait, did that really just happen? Did Peeta and I just convince them to get married? Wow. We are good.
"One condition," Annie holds up a finger after their long kiss.
"Anything," Finnick breathes.
"We wait until after Katniss has the twins. I want them at our wedding."
"Of course," Finnick nods.
"And Katniss has to be my maid of honor. What do you say, Mrs. Mellark?" She looks to me.
I'm stunned, and I'm sure my face shows it. The only wedding I've ever been to was my own, and that was, well, simple. But if this is what Annie wants, then who am I to say no?
"Of course, Annie. It would be an honor," I smile.
"I guess that means I have to make Peeta my best man, huh?" Finnick grumbles. Everyone groans. "I'm just kidding. I'd be honored to have you as my best man, Peeta."
"I'd be honored to stand for you, Finnick. We're so happy for you guys. This is great," Peeta says happily.
"Really," I add, "this is wonderful. I didn't want to tell you, but Peeta and I have been wondering for a while why you didn't just bite the bullet, so to speak."
Annie blushes, Finnick smirks.
"And I can attest, being married is not that bad," Peeta jokes.
"Not that bad?" I turn to him.
"Kidding!" He backtracks. "Being married to you is the greatest thing in my life! It is my life! I love you?"
I chuckle at his nervousness.
"I love you too, Peeta, and I love being married to you," I confirm. We share a quick kiss.
"You're tough on him, huh, Katniss?" Finnick observes.
I shrug.
"He can take it. He's a big boy," I smile and pinch his cheek.
"You should hear her in the bedroom. She's like a taskmaster," Peeta jokes.
"PEETA!" Annie and I yell.
We spend the rest of dinner talking about marriage, and answer a lot of questions from Annie and Finnick. We tell them full story of our impromptu wedding, and Annie proclaims it the most romantic thing she's ever heard. Finnick just laughs, and tells Peeta he's one lucky guy. Peeta shrugs like duh, I already knew that.
Peeta eventually brings out the cake, and we're stunned. He's put so much detail into the icing that it's almost impossible that it's not a painting. Half of it is a beach scene, complete with rippling waves. The other half is a forest scene, with the meadow that Peeta and I spend many of our days in. Right in the middle of the meadow, he put a single dandelion. It causes a single tear to fall down my cheek. The cake is a perfect representation of our two couples, four people from two different Districts who, under normal circumstances, never would have met. But because of some crazy coincidences, and a secret Rebellion, we've become best friends.
And now, Finnick and Annie are getting married.
A/N: So there's the double date! I wasn't planning on having Finnick propose, but when I started writing, that's just where it went, and it felt right. And who says they have to get married in 13?
A review brought up the concern that Peeta and Katniss are having too much sex in this story. I agree, I do tend to write a lot of, um, intimate scenes, but here's my justification.
Katniss is pregnant (with twins).
They're still newlyweds.
They're still technically teenagers. I don't know about you, but when I was a teenager, and I had a hot girlfriend, well….you can figure it out.
I also like to use those scenes to show how much Katniss is changing as a person. She's less shy, more open, more loving, and more affectionate.
But if you guys feel like it's too much, I won't write it anymore. I personally enjoy writing them, for obvious reasons, and I haven't gotten any complaints up til now.
Anyways, we're getting closer and closer to the twins arriving and the Quell starting, which inevitably will lead to the Rebellion. Stay tuned to find out what happens next!
Keep reviewing and reading. Syonara.
