Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto but of course, I own Nozomi and this story.
"Sin"
The feeling of his warmth against me, the surprise in his eyes. I released him from the grip of my arms. Before another second passed, I ran back to my room. I breathed heavily as I closed the door and slid down to the floor.
'What have I done? Gaara's probably going to avoid me…I shouldn't have let my feelings get the best…'I turned to look out the window and I hoped that Gaara wouldn't come. I prayed to whoever was listening and I begged. I stared at the stars and calmed a bit. My heart was beating and I could hear the blood pumping through my ears. I stood and changed, then laid down on my bed. I held the pendant as if my life depended on it, I would wear this, for the rest of my life alive. I made a promise to myself, that I would never come to harm Gaara or take this necklace off. But I was afraid, of what, I did not know. I had a sickening feeling in my gut and I bit my lip. The metallic taste in my mouth was foul. I touched my lip slightly and felt the tips of my fingers moist with thick, crimson blood.
After I washed my lip and changed into my normal clothes, I sat on my bed. Gaara couldn't sleep but I could and I was filled with sudden guilt. Without much thought, I left. I left towards the forest on the outskirts of the village.
Destruction. The act of annihilation. I watched the leaves crumple up, burning, engulfed in flames. I saw as each petal of the once majestic, pure, innocent flower withered into gray and fell to the ground as ash. I lit all the beautiful nature around me, in flames. Their grace stirred the beast within me. Watching the wind move the flowers in such a peaceful way made me envious. As the voice of the monster filled my mind, a wrenching guilt throb enveloped my heart. I gasped and fell to the ground. That maniacal laughter shook my body as if I, myself, was laughing. The voice wanted to feast on the blood of another, it wanted revenge on Kyubi, it wanted to be free.
The air refused to enter my lungs; I was choking, gasping for air. My mind was blank; my body was involuntarily moving, violently. In my mind I could hear the monster's laughter. He was laughing at my death. When my eyes were blurring and my heart stopping, air once again filled my lungs in a painful surge. I gasped and breathed heavily as my eyes came into focus and my heart had slowed its beating.
The Hachimata was laughing with joy. He had enjoyed watching me suffer.
'It was nice to see how much I could control your life. That was entertaining. You see your life is in my hands. I could easily cut the path of your lungs by placing my chakra as a barrier. I could torture you by simply encircling your heart with my chakra and placing pressure on it. So, it'd be wise to do whatever I say.'
You bastard…If I die, you'll die too. All I have to do is kill myself and you're done for.
'But can you cause me pain?'Anger arose in my body. I hated the demon inside, I wish I could tear it to pieces.
'Child, your purpose includes me. Without your purpose, you'll end up dead anyway.'
What do you mean by purpose? I don't need you.
'The reason the Kazekage brought you into his home. He has a mission for you and it includes myself.'
What's the mission?
'You don't need to know. You might struggle.'
Tell me.
'Impatient aren't we? Very well…The Kazekage wants his son to die.'
What? Which one?
'The one with the weakling Shukaku.'
Gaara? Why? No, I will not kill him.
'You have no choice you pathetic mortal. I'll take over your body and kill him. Do you know why the Kazekage allowed you to live in his home? It was to increase the bond of you and the boy. Then, he wouldn't suspect his death.'
You disgusting, filthy…
'It's the Kazekage's will. Once he gives the order, I'll take over your body and kill him.'
I won't let you.
'You think you can stop me? The boy will die at your hands. That is your purpose.'
That is not my purpose!
I left the forest and returned to Gaara's home. As I ran towards it, I could see Gaara's shape on the roof. His head tilted down towards me but I could not see his face. I ran as fast as I could, tripping over vines, getting cut by branches. I wanted to leave that place as quickly as I could.
'Do you think you can run from me? I am inside you child.'
'NO!" I screamed.
I fell on my knees and grabbed my head. He wouldn't go away, I wanted him to leave. As I fought with myself, the Hachimata portrayed pictures of Gaara's death in my mind. I screamed and brought my knees so close; I was in the shape of a ball. I held each arm with a hand as I felt my nails grow and my fangs cut my lip as they grew.
I could feel the presence of someone appear near me.
It was Gaara. I wanted to yell at him to get away but the Hachimata was controlling me. Then, my body was moving on its own. I felt myself jump onto Gaara and he did not have his sand. I saw his confused expression and the Hachimata held his throat with one of my hands. He was going to kill him, right here.
But I wouldn't let that happen. The Hachimata may control my body, but not my mind.
Blood dropped onto Gaara. I felt immense pain run through my arm. I had driven my fangs into my arm, the arm that was on Gaara's throat. I felt the control of my body return to me and my fangs and nails retreated. I closed my eyes and when I opened them, my teeth were still on my arm. I trembled, as I was half a foot away from his face. His eyes held surprise as he looked straight at me and disregarded the blood that fell onto his skin. I lifted myself up off of him and he stood, rigid. I looked at the ground and held my arm, which was bleeding freely and extraneously.
Through the pain, I choked out, "I'm sorry."
The distasteful feeling of my blood in my mouth made me sick. The pain only worsened it. I tried to stand and walk. I walked towards Gaara's home. I think he just stood there, I did not turn to see. I had to enter through the front door and Kankuro and Temari raced down the stairs. They were in shock and Temari raced to retrieve the first aid kit. Kankuro ran over to me and laid me on the couch, I could hardly move my arm but the pain was still there. Temari cleaned my wound and bandaged it up. I was breathing heavily, I was tired and I lost a fair amount of blood. The pain was retreating, as Temari had covered my arm with ointment.
They were asking me what happened but I had no strength to tell them. I heard Temari telling me that my wound ran like a streak from my wrist to my elbow and that it barely missed a vital vein. I was still breathing heavily but then Kankuro asked me another question. I heard him clearly because it was about Gaara.
"Was Gaara there, did he see your blood?"
"He…Hachimata controlled me and pinned Gaara to the ground. I…regained control and bit myself. Blood fell on Gaara. I came here."
Once Kankuro heard that my blood fell on Gaara, his face was full of fear. Kankuro looked at Temari and left the house. Temari removed the bandage; the blood had leaked through. She tried to stop the bleeding of my arm when Kankuro returned with Gaara. Temari looked at once and sighed when she saw Gaara standing there. There was a pool of blood on his shirt and I wanted to apologize. He just stood there, watching. I closed my eyes, and drifted into sleep.
When I awoke, the sun was shining and the house was still. My arm was covered in bandages but the pain had faded away. I felt relived once I remembered- I saved him. I had saved him from my weaknesses. None of this would have happened if I wasn't weak enough to submit myself into possessing a demon. But I overcame that weakness and saved him.
I sighed with calmness and stood. But the Hachimata's words still haunted me. The Kazekage wanted Gaara dead but I couldn't do that. There was no choice but to protect Gaara and defy the Kazekage's will.
It will be hard, to overcome the Hachimata but I can try. I did yesterday and I can do it again. I was glad I did not feel the emptiness I had felt only a week before.
As the others awoke, I did not try to hide my feelings. I was happy but afraid and I told them so. I told Temari, Kankuro and Gaara that I was afraid I would hurt them, I was sorry for the trouble I caused. But I also said, I would try. I would grow to overcome my weakness and maybe even use it for the better.
I tried to reassure them and they smiled and even though I did too, inside I could still feel the fear and the Hachimata. I'm sure Gaara knew as well. We spoke of things rather calmly as if nothing had happened. Temari asked how my wound was and I thanked her for treating me. The Kazekage called us upon in the later afternoon. Gaara and I were assigned a mission in Konoha again. I thought about the boy Naruto, and decided I didn't have to hate him. He might be a little different than others because of the demon.
The Kazekage eyed my injury and asked what had happen.
I bowed and apologized, "I'm sorry Lord Kazekage, I was training and my ignorance lead to my wound."
He brushed it off and we headed home. Temari treated my wound again and that night, Gaara and I prepared for our trip to Konoha. We were to go to Konoha and send a message that was in the form of a letter to the Hokage. The next morning, we left. I had grown a littler stronger than the last trip because I did not tire out as easily. Gaara was quiet as usual throughout the three-day trip. I did not mind and I sighed out of relief once we arrived. We arrived in mid-day when the genin were training. Once we delivered the message, we were free to walk around until tomorrow when we would leave. I saw Naruto, Sasuke and the girl over by the forest.
"Gaara? Could I apologize?"
He didn't object so I walked over to them while Gaara followed. As I reached them they stopped to look towards me. I saw the girl step back in fear and the two boys stare. Once I reached them, I looked at them in the eyes. The pain that I felt last time was only a small hindrance.
"I apologize for my outburst the other time. I could not control the demon inside of me."
Sasuke glared at me, of course, he did not trust me. The girl stayed where she was and Naruto, he understood. He walked up to me and offered his hand. He smiled and I shook it. I looked at the girl and walked up to her. She was hostile but I apologized directly to her.
"I'm sorry for the injuries you must have sustained."
Gaara and I turned our backs to them and headed out.
"Gaara, may we leave tonight?"
"Why?" He coldly asked.
"I don't want the Hachimata to take control again."
We left that night. We camped out near the border of the village limits and rested. Before I fell asleep on the ground, I looked up towards the moon and saw Gaara on a tree limb, mesmerized by it.
Then I whispered to myself, "I'll protect you Gaara…"
