I'm calling him right now. I want to type while I talk to him to make sure that I get all the words correct.

He hasn't answered yet, but the phone has only rang twice.

I wish he would hurry up and answer... I'm getting more nervous each second...

"Hallo?" There it is. His sweet, deep, voice. I know he has caller ID, so he /knows/ that I'm the one calling. I want to say something, but I can't. "Kiku? Hallo? Are you there?" He's starting to sound a little annoyed.

Come on Kiku.

Answer.

"H-hi Ludwig-san." It was much harder to say that then I though it would be...

"Why are calling?" His voice sounds a little harsh.

He's angry. Just like I knew he would be.

"I-I just wanted to talk to you." My voice is hushed, I have been nervous about this enough already. His tone wasn't making it any better.

"Well, you already had that chance." I hate hearing his voice sound so stern. I'm choking back a few tears. What am I supposed to say in response to that?

Oh no. I can feel the hot tears on my cheeks.

"O-oh..." That's all that I can manage to say right now.

"Was that all you were calling for?" His voice isn't getting any lighter. He still sounds angry.

"Y-yeah..." I'm whispering into the phone now. I know that if I speak any louder, I'll probably break down crying. There's a silence. It doesn't seem to be ending...

He just hung up the phone... he hung up on me... he hung up on me...

I whispered "I'm Sorry." just after the click let me know he wasn't there anymore, "I love you."

I'm trying no to cry... I'm trying so hard...

I can't even see the keyboard anymore... I hope that I'm typing alright still... I think I need to go lie down... perhaps I'll take a nap...

I don't know.

I'm so confused.

If I hate him so much... then why am I so upset?

"I love you" Did I really say that after he hung up?