Chapter 16: My Wena

Kakuzu drops Yamada's shirt and he moves away from the stunned criminal to watch as the other scientists give Hidan painkillers and make measurements and observations on him.

A few things pass through Kakuzu's mind at the time. Yamada had injected with Hidan with an unknown drug. From Orochimaru no less. They had had sex. If what Yamada had just told him was the result of those things, he could believe it. He should believe it. Even if it made no sense in the world, it actually did make sense. He has to sit down on a nearby bed.

He looks over at Hidan who wasn't acting like he was in pain anymore. Now he was just glaring at all the doctors who were trying to poke and prod him with needles and such. He suddenly glances over at Kakuzu. This makes Kakuzu start. Hidan raises an eyebrow then says loudly,

"Earth to Kakuzu! Get off your ass and help me here!"

Kakuzu is paralyzed and can't move. Hidan just starts slapping the doctors hands and needles away. He gets up and goes over to Kakuzu. He sits down next to him and punches him in the shoulder.

"What're you thinkin' Kuzu?"

Kakuzu just stares at him blankly. Yamada walks over and grabs Hidan's shoulder. He holds out a small container and says,

"Hidan, could you please go pee in this."

Hidan knew it wasn't a question but he ignored it and shakes Kakuzu's arm. Kakuzu reaches up slowly, it almost seems like slow motion to Hidan. He brushes his fingertips from Hidan's forehead, ghosting them over his eyelids, nose and mouth, along his jaw and neck, down to his collarbone and chest. He caresses the skin until he gets to his stomach and he stops. He then just gasps and Yamada says,

"We don't even know if it worked or not yet."

Kakuzu stares at him and Hidan just look around confusedly.

"What the hell are you fuckers all blabbing about!?"

Kakuzu looks back at Hidan and commands, "Go pee, Hidan."

Hidan pouts. "But I don't gotta pee dammit!"

Kakuzu scowls. "Find some pee. Now go."

Hidan stands up. "Hmph!" He walks toward the small bathroom, grumbling the entire way. "Fucking bastard... trying to make me piss when I don't gotta... retards... this is stupid as fuck...."

He doesn't stop as he closes the curtain. Everyones breath is held, waiting for something to happen. Suddenly Hidan's voice comes out over the curtain loud and clear,

"I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO IF YOU GUYS KEEP FUCKING PRESSURING ME! talk or something dammit. Don't just wait like a bunch of stupid jackasses!"

Yamada clears his throat and begins talking to the other doctors while Kakuzu just stares intently at the curtain Hidan is standing behind. He looks very focussed and intense but on the inside he is a jumbles mess of thoughts and emotions.

After a few minutes Hidan tosses open the curtain with a very annoyed look on his face and walks out, holding the cup of yellow liquid as he walks toward the group of people. He thrusts the cup at Yamada who takes it carefully and sets it on a small table. He pulls out a little electronic looking stick and places it gently in the cup of urine.

"Now we wait..." he mutters to himself mostly.

"Will that tell me how come I barfed and why I been having stomach aches?"

Yamada's smile gets wider with every word Hidan says.

"Hopefully!"

"Hm... why don't I trust you?" He asks, his eyes narrowing. He just shrugs and turns to Kakuzu, waving a hand in front of the spaced out mans face. Kakuzu ignores him and stares intently at the cup. He growls,

"How long does it take?"

Yamada smirks at him. "Just five minutes. Sheesh. You're more impatient than I am."

Kakuzu glares daggers at him. "I think I have more going on it then you do." Yamada just stares down at him with narrowed eyes then looks away contentedly.

"What the fuck is that?" Hidan asks five minutes later when Yamada pulls the instrument from the cup carefully and wipes it off.

"Shut up Hidan." Kakuzu mutters tensely as he watches Yamada adjust his glasses holds the stick up to his eyes. Everyone seems to hold their breath for a moment then Yamada smiles and says,

"It's positive. Though, did anyone really think it wouldn't be? People don't have stomachaches and morning sickness for no reason."

Kakuzu stares at him, then turns to Hidan who still has no idea what the fuck is going on. He grabs the pregnancy test from Yamada and sees a little blue plus on it. He looks up and yells,

"What the fuck does this mean!? What do I have? Some sick virus or something!?"

Yamada turns to Kakuzu and asks, "Would you like to do the honors?"

Kakuzu just glares at him then turns to Hidan.

"Hidan... don't freak out." he commands.

"Am I gonna die!?" Hidan panics.

"No!" Kakuzu sighs. "You're going to... bring a new life into the world."

Hidan just stares at him blankly then goes, "Huh?"

Kakuzu resists the urge to hit him over the head. He turns to Yamada and asks,

"Seriously, why did you choose him?"

Yamada laughs. "Deidara's body is too wild. Itachi would never let me come within 20 feet of him while I was holding a needle and Konan, well, what would be the point? No, Hidan is a very good guinea pig. He reminds me of a lab mouse."

"But he's an idiot." Kakuzu reply's.

They ignore Hidan's cursing them to hell as Yamada answers, "Ah, but that's what you're here for. You can make sure he doesn't do anything to my baby."

"Your baby!?" Kakuzu snarls. "I stopped you before it became your baby. This is mine and Hidan's baby."

"Baby?" Hidan suddenly says. "Is that some kinda code word or something?"

Kakuzu sighs and grabs the plastic object still in Hidan's hand. He holds it up and says slowly and clearly,

"This... is a pregnancy test. This little blue plus sign means that the person who's pee it was in, has chemicals in their body that are only there if the person is currently pregnant. Do you get it now Hidan? It's your pee. You have the chemicals. You're pregnant. You're going to have a baby. Is that clear enough for you?"

"Shut up!" Hidan glares. "and don't fucking mess with me! I'm not pregnant or whatever. I'm a guy. Duh! What's really wrong with me dammit!?"

Kakuzu sighs and hands the tester to Yamada muttering, "I tried. Now, tell me about how this drug works."

Hidan gapes at them as Yamada and the other doctors begin explaining and discussing things among themselves, leaving Hidan confused and very pissed off.

"Oi fucktards! I'm still waiting here! Tell me what the hell is going on!"

"I did tell you." Kakuzu answers him, giving him a cold look. "You didn't believe me. Like an idiot."

"You fucking bastard! You're making fun of me! I can't believe you! I really shouldn't marry you if you keep treating me li-"

"That's right!" Kakuzu says with an enlightened look on his face. "We have to get married soon now. I'm not letting you give birth to a bastard child."

Hidan falters. "Y-you're really serious about the baby thing?"

Kakuzu nods the pulls Hidan to him. He kisses him deeply then bends down so his face is level with Hidan's stomach. He holds Hidan's hips and kisses the soft skin around his navel. He looks up at a now almost teary Hidan and says,

"It's our baby, Hidan."

Hidan faints.

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"GET. IT. OUT!" Hidan yells for the fifteenth time after he finally accepted that he was pregnant.

Yamada and Kakuzu were holding him down onto the bed but he was trying to struggle out of their grip.

"I'LL KILL IT! I SWEAR I'LL KILL IT!" he yells at Yamada.

"Hidan you're being ridiculous!" Kakuzu says in an annoyed tone. Hidan glares at him and yells,

"THE HELL I AM! I DON'T SEE YOU HAVING A FUCKING BABY!"

Kakuzu grabs Hidan face just firmly enough to make him stop struggling as he says,

"I am having a baby. With you. If you'll stop being a baby and just relax."

Hidan glares at him then takes a deep breath and exhales,

"I'LL KILL IT! I SWEAR TO JASHIN I'LL KILL IT!"

Kakuzu and Yamada exchange a glance and sigh. Yamada nods at one of the assistant and they nod back, reaching into a drawer and pulling out another needle. He taps it with a finger then hands it to Yamada.

"HEY! HEY, WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT!?" Hidan asks.

"Shut up, Hidan." Kakuzu says before Yamada sticks the needle and drains the liquid into his wrist.

"FUCk you Kaku..." Hidan mutters before his eyelids close and he becomes unnaturally silent.

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*Sigh* ok...

Please just review and I'll try to update soon. I'm not going to say anything about this. What's happening, is what's happening. That's all there is to it.

KeikoPanda102