Chapter 17: Punk Rock 101

"Good choice for a test subject." Kakuzu says mockingly as he and Yamada step away from a sleeping Hidan.

Yamada rolls his eyes then smiles. "He'll be fine. He just has to get used to the idea."

Kakuzu snorts. "Good luck with that."

"You'll have to help if you want this baby as well." Yamada says.

Kakuzu takes a deep breath and mutters darkly, "I know. I'm just going to have to spin it a way that he will understand and even want it. I don't trust him, though. I'm going to need to keep an eye on him twenty four seven."

Yamada laughs. "You want a room with him. Ok, I'll give you two a private 'family room'. Just make sure he's doesn't go punching his stomach or something. Also, you're going to have to continuously give him dosages of painkillers. Pain in the abdomen is a side effect."

Kakuzu nods. "Any other side effects?"

"Not that we know of. But, that is what tests are for." Yamada answers.

"When's he going to wake up?"

Yamada glances at Hidan and says, "It'll be a few hours..."

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When Hidan does wake up he promptly stands up to go find a dangerous chemical to drink. Luckily(or unluckily, depending on you're point of view), Kakuzu stops him.

"Dammit Kakuzu!" Hidan spits as he struggles some more. "Why do you even want a fucking baby, asshole!? You'd probably just sell it!"

Kakuzu thinks for a moment then shrugs, thinking that it was probably true. He would sell his own child for enough money. But, that wasn't why he wanted a baby.

Kakuzu thinks and thinks some more as Hidan tries to get out of his grip. Why does he want a child? It's possibly just some chemical process worming its way through his system. He thinks that that is mostly just for the mother, but then again why shouldn't he have it too? No, he thinks that he is just trying to make up some excuse now. He should just answer Hidan honestly. He doesn't know why he wants a child.

In the darkest corners of Kakuzu's mind, where his thoughts never venture, there lies a box. Inside the box is the answer to why he wants a child. But, inside the box are also a few little things he had put away, for good, a long time ago. His morals...and his conscience. He steps closer to the box. It seems to be daring him to look inside, maybe just peek, just to find out why he wants a child. But no, Kakuzu may not have a lot of self control all the time, but for this, he does. He turns around and shuts the door on his thoughts, not looking back.

Inside the box, his morals are screaming:

"The reason you want a child, is because you know, deep, deep down inside, that you cannot put a price-tag on a child. Sure, you can pretend that it's just a human, you've sold humans before, in fact, people do it all the time. BUT NO! STOP AND LISTEN KAKUZU! This isn't just a human. It's a baby! And no matter what religions or anybody says, everyone is born innocent. Therein lies the problem. The innocent in this world are so few and far between that if you have just one of these precious innocent beings, life just seems better."

If Kakuzu had heard his morals or his conscience or whatever it was, he may have changed completely and become an entirely different person. But, then he wouldn't be Kakuzu, now would he? No. Kakuzu just left it alone, figuring that if he couldn't think of anything, it must not be that important.

"Hidan, you know what we could do with a baby? Do you know all the perks we could get in here? I already talked Yamada into letting us have a private room, just me and you. That's just the tip of the iceberg! I bet we can have anything we asked, or you that is. Yamada wants this baby to be perfect so I bet he'd do anything, short of letting us out of here."

"I don't fucking want anything except this parasite out of me!" Hidan replies.

Kakuzu growls thinking, I didn't want to have to go here...

"Hidan..." he says his fiancé's name very slowly and meaningfully. Hidan reluctantly looks at him with annoyance. "If- if you have a kid... you can make sure he or she... becomes a Jashinist. You always say that one of the main goals of Jashinist's is finding new members! How could you pass up an opportunity like this one! It would just be- it'd be... unfaithful!"

Hidan's eyes widen and a tiny gasp escapes his lips. He looks away and mutters,

"I- I hadn't thought bout it like that..."

"Of course not," Kakuzu says mockingly, "You were too busy being a whiny idiot!"

"Humph!" Hidan replies. Then he stands up, Kakuzu watching him carefully, in case his ploy hadn't worked, though he got the impression it did the trick.

Hidan sighs. "Ok..."

Kakuzu smirks and pats Hidan on he back. "Good, let's go see our new room."

"K..." Hidan mutters as he rubs his eyes and yawns.

"Crazy day..." Kakuzu mutters as he strokes Hidan's head. He then looks thoughtful for a moment and asks, "Just wondering but... why didn't you want a baby?"

Hidan groans, "I'm gonna get fat!"

Kakuzu stops then hits Hidan across the back of the head he was just caressing. He then chuckles as Hidan attacks him and he mutters, "Typical..."

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"So when are you two getting married, un?" Deidara asks loudly the moment Hidan and Kakuzu step foot into the common room the next morning. Kakuzu stares at him blankly then asks, just as flatly,

"Do you guys know about...?"

"The baby? Yeah!" He replies, snickering.

"Yamada is so lucky he didn't try that shit on me." Itachi mutters darkly. "In fact, I'm surprised you're ok with it, Hidan..."

"Don't fucking get me started! I'm NOT happy about this one little b-" He stops and wrinkles his nose. After a minute he starts turning a little green and covers his face entirely saying in a slightly muffled voice, "What the bloody fucking hell is that smell!?"

One of the inmates who is walking by stops then smiles and starts moving his hands all twitchy as he tries to rap, "What the bloody fucking hell- is that smell? Nice!" He then pulls out a notepad and writes something down then walks away while mumbling raps to himself. Pein sighs.

"That's Bumble Bee. Surprisingly enough, his rapping isn't what got him in here."

The table laughs except Hidan and Kakuzu who is knelt over his fiance looking worried. Suddenly Hidan seems to shake it off and sit up straighter. He gulps then shudders as Sasori asks,

"What was that?"

Hidan just shakes his head. "No one else here smelled that!? I mean, I can still fucking smell it too! I just don't know where it's coming from!"

Kakuzu looks around and sees a plate of beans and rice. He raises an eyebrow and holds it up to Hidan's face. Hidan cringes and gives it a loathsome look. The others stare at him like he's crazy.

Kakuzu tosses the beans and rice into the trash, ignoring Konan's complaints then shrugs to Hidan who looks better, but confused.

"It's probably a side effect. That reminds me, I need to give you you're painkillers. Yamada said the pain in your abdomen would only be there at the beginning but I don't know how long that is."

"That's a side effect?" Hidan asks incredulously, rubbing his stomach. "I thought I just had gas!"

Kakuzu refrains from laughing along with the rest of the table and when it dies down he says solemnly, "Yes, it has something to do with the transformation process. You don't naturally have the right organs, so the drug basically builds them for you. Like, I said, it should be gone in a few days."

Zetsu sticks out his tongue and makes a face, "Gross!"

"Say's the guy who eats people!" Kisame replies with a smirk.

"Like you've never tried human, shark-boy." Zetsu sneers.

"Not nice." Kisame says as the table bursts out laughing. Itachi doesn't laugh though. He hadn't laughed, or even smiles since the party in the red room. Kisame would be more nervous but he knew the stuck up Uchiha hated pity, so he never gave him any.

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