WOOHOO! I am an updating maniac….I am on fire..lol..No, but I may be divorced if I don't start paying attention to my husband.

He'll get over it….. :) When it strikes... you write, True?

Hello Everyone! I hope you like this chapter. I cut it short because I have a plan.. ;P

The usual disclaimer…I own nothing…she does.

Shout out to Celeste...Hey Chica!

Happy reading..please review!

Terri :)

CHAPTER 41

ROSE'S POV

It broke my heart to watch him, the man I loved most in this world walk away from me. But, did I mean so little to him? How could he have put his lips to hers?

I know that it was just a kiss, but he was mine. That was something sacred between just the two of us. When we became engaged, we promised to only be with each other, and that meant any form of intimacy.

God, it killed me just trying to picture his lips touching hers, the way they touched mine. Just the simple thought of his hand in someone else's crushes me.

How could this have happened? Why? What did I do wrong? I know I am not perfect, but I gave him my best.

My heart was completely destroyed. I was so confused and the tears wouldn't stop running down my face.

Damn you Adrian.

I walked back to the Belikov home in a daze. I came upon the house and just sat on the front porch. I didn't have the courage to face them.

I was a mess. I was covered in blood, dirt, and tear streaks on my face.

I had just staked two strigoi and lost my fiance all within the last hour. My mind was racing towards nothing in particular.

As I sat there completely numb and cold, I heard someone quietly open the front door.

"Roza?"

I quickly tried to brush away the tears with the back of my hand. I cleared my throat the best I could, trying to cover up the fact that I was crying.

"Olena, Is everything okay with Ethan?"

"He's perfectly fine. But, I can see that you're not. What's happened, my dear?" She sat down beside me on the stairs while wrapping her arm around my shoulders.

I figured I could fill her in on the reason why my appearance was so scary, or so to speak. "Lord Ivashkov and I were attacked by two strigoi earlier this evening. But, fortunately, I was able to handle myself."

I gave her a small smile, reassuring her know that no harm had come to me.

"Oh my goodness! Are you okay? Wait…Where is Lord Ivashkov? He is alive?" Olena spoke as she covered her mouth with her hands.

I couldn't help to laugh at her expression. "Yes, Lord Ivashkov is quite safe. He has business to attend to back at home. So, he will be going back to Court earlier than expected." I hated to lie to her, especially since she was

so wonderful to me.

She turned and looked at me, face to face. "Rose, You can tell me it is none of my concern and that would be okay. But, I know that there is something else troubling you besides the attack. You're a professional, dear.

And, I would know a thing or two about professional guardians." She gave me a wink. And that she would, considering her son was the best guardian there ever was.

"Now, why are you upset with your Adrian?"

I looked up to the night sky and sighed. "Olena, I don't feel right discussing mine and Adrian's problems with you. You're Dimitri's mother and for me to speak of our problems with you seem disrespectful to the both of you.

I wouldn't want you to think I am dishonoring your son's memories by talking about Adrian. Does that make any sense?"

Olena smiled. "I guess. But, I had asked you. So, I think that makes it okay. And Roza? No one in our family expects you to stop living your life because Dimka is no longer with us. He would want you to be happy."

I knew that there was no way I was getting around it when she put it like that.

"It's a really long story." I gave her a grin.

She settled her self beside me. "I have all night and there is no where else I would rather be. So, tell me everything."

I explained to her everything that had happened from the very beginning; All about Tatiana, the kidnapping of Ethan, my killing Tatiana, Adrian's changing, and lastly, Adrian being unfaithful to me.

I hated to admit it out loud to anyone. But, I knew I might as well get used to it. Because when I arrived back at Court, it would be everywhere. It was almost funny. Rose Hathaway never had a problem getting a man or keeping

one for that fact. But, everyone will love how the tables have turned on me. Some may say I even deserve it.

Olena broke the silence that we had fallen into. "I didn't realize that you have gone through so much since you found out you were pregnant with Ethan. You have endured a lot of hurt in your short life.

However, you're not bitter like it would make most people. You're good person, Rose. I can't pretend to know why Adrian did what he did to you. But, I can tell you one thing after hearing what you told me.

He loves you and my grandson very much…even a blind man could see that much. I am not excusing what he did because make no mistake, it was wrong to hurt you like that.

I would be willing to bet that if you went to him right now, he would be even more devastated than you." She reached to grab my hand and held it in hers.

"Did Dimitri ever tell you anything about his father?"

I gave a slight nod. "He said his father did some terrible things to you and that he felt he needed to defend you at a young age, but not much more than that. Dimitri didn't like to speak of it. I never wanted to pry."

"Well, I truly loved his father. He wasn't always the best to me. But, I knew he loved me, even though he had a strange way of showing it.

I always felt it was karma paying me back when at the age of thirteen Dimitri had to see his mother beaten and had to defend me. Something changed in him that day. He never was the same happy person.

But, that's a different story in itself. We will save it for another time.

I am not proud of it, being the other woman for all those years.

He was a royal moroi and for him to be with me, us, was just not acceptable. He had his moroi wife and children that got all his love and devotion.

And then there were our children; Karolina, Sonya, and Dimitri. They were deprived of so much growing up. It was tough for them not having the advantages of a fathers love, especially Dimitri.

I tried to make sure that I gave enough love for both of us. So, I would say that he and his son, Ethan could have a lot in common in that respect.

From what you explained to me, you and Adrian started your relationship before you even realized you had any Royal bonds and this point it doesn't even matter.

But, the Moroi man you're in love with wants to be Ethan's father. I guess the point I am trying to make in his defense is that; he took in yours and Dimitri's son as his

own, turned his back on his family to honor you, was willing to give his life for you, and for a Moroi man to do all of that in our society. Well, it says a lot about him as a man."

She gave me a smile as she squeezed my hand.

"A man can make many mistakes, Roza. It's up to you if you want to forgive them. You have to ask yourself. Do you want someone else to have this man?

Because Rose, there will always be someone out there willing to love what you foolishly threw away. They will cherish him even with his faults, not one of us is perfect.

Also, think on this for awhile.

'It's easier to hold on to what you've got, than to let it go and try to get it back.' Sometimes you aren't able to get it back, no matter how hard you try."

I smiled at her and laughed. "Now I know where Dimitri got the his life lessons from…your children are lucky to have you as their mother."

I became serious as I ask her the following question. " Olena, What would you do if you were me?"

She stood up while pulling me with her. "Roza, Only you know the answer to that question. Follow your heart. I trust it will lead you in the right direction."

"Thanks so much…for everything." I said to her.

She pulled me into a tight squeeze. "It is my pleasure. You're like a daughter to me, you're my family, and I love you."

I felt the tears start to build in my eyes as I whispered to her. "I love you too!"

She turned towards the door. "Come on. Let's get you cleaned up and feed you some dinner. I know you must be starving.

Oh! And Rose? You don't ever have to feel guilty for being in love, especially around me. You are allowed to keep my son's memories close to your heart while loving and spending your life with Adrian.

Please just live your life in a way that makes you happy. No matter what you choose. I will always stand beside you."

I hugged her again. "I am so glad I have you in my life. Thank you so much! That means more to me than you could ever know."

We walked in the house together.

I took a shower, washing away all the grim and some of the stress from the day. But, before I could go downstairs and eat with the family. I knew there was one more thing I needed to do.

I picked up my phone and dialed the number I have called at least once a day.

On the second ring, I got an answer. "Hello Rose."

"You can drop the walls you have put up to block me from your thoughts, Lissa. I know what's going on."

I was so pissed at Lissa for keeping this from me and I was making no point of trying to hide it from her.

"Rose, I am sorry…I didn't mean to keep anything from you." She started to say before I interrupted her.

"Damn Lissa, Do you have any idea how many times I have heard the words' I am sorry' in the last 5 hours or so?"

"I can only imagine." I could feel the regret through our bond. Even though we were a world apart I could still feel her emotions as if she were right beside me.

"Lissa, I am not going to pretend that I am not pissed at you. Because I most certainly am ….. very pissed at you. Why would you keep something like this from me?

You spoke to me on the phone and you had an ample opportunity to tell me right then. So, what the hell?... Liss?"

"Rose, I told Adrian I would give him one shot to tell you the truth and if he didn't I was going to tell you." I heard her take a deep breath before she started talking again.

"I didn't want to be the one… I didn't want to be the one to hurt you. Jesus, don't you think there has been enough hurt for you and Adrian to last a lifetime?"

"Can't you understand where I am coming from? I am totally and completely humiliated by this whole situation. If you want to make this right between us Liss, you need to tell me everything you know and now."

She knew that I meant every word I was saying.

"Where do I start?... My visit with Adrian or my visit with that bitch, Ashley?" I had to laugh to myself at the thought of her confronting Ashley Conta.

"Since I have already heard some of Adrian's visit with you, let's go with the Ashley visit."

"Ok, after I left your apartment. I wasn't satisfied with Adrian's explanation of the nights events. So, I decided to would go to Ashley's place. At first she was a real bitch to me.

But, if you knew Ashley, as a person, that was to be expected of her. Do you remember Ashley Conta, Rose?"

I shook my head. "No, I don't. Has she always lived at Court?"

Lissa let out a nervous laugh before she answered my question. She knew exactly what I was thinking. "Ah…No! She just moved back about 4 months ago.

She had accepted a job within Tatiana's administration. Well, I guess your dad's administration now."

I interrupted her. "Not anymore. Bitch will be on the unemployment line, starting tomorrow."

Lissa laughed out loud. "You're evil, Rose. Besides, it won't make much of a difference. She's Royal and rich."

"Don't matter. She will get the point." I was stating the obvious.

"Okay. Back to my story. I went to her apartment and she didn't want to tell me anything, but when I explained to her that she should be grateful that I got to her before you did, she completely changed her tune.

I don't think she really took you into consideration when she was acting like a slut. But, she did the next morning when I reminded her of who you were."

"Thank you." I said jokingly.

"No problem. Anywho, she swore to me that nothing happened between her and Adrian. She said that, wait, are you sure you want to hear this?"

I let out an exaggerated sigh. "Shit Lissa! Just tell me already, Christ!"

"Okay, Okay! She said that she made the move on him. She kissed him and that she pretty much dragged him to her place. She also said that he was really wasted. I guess they kissed for like 10 seconds and he passed out.

Oh, and that he kept saying your name and something about, she thought Adrian Ivashkov was supposed to be the life of the party. But, she thought he was really boring and couldn't wait for him to wake up and leave. "

"And that's everything?" I ask.

"Except the fact, that she is scared to death of you…now! Also, she wanted me to apologize to you and tell you that nothing serious happened between them and that she persuaded him; with the kissing, going to her place, and basically everything else.

She took advantage of him. He was just too drunk off his ass to resist her. Boy needs to stay on that damn wagon, if you ask me."

I laughed at her again. "Oh Lissa. You truly are too much! I can't believe you went to her apartment to confront her for me."

"Rose! You're my best friend. I would do anything for you. Plus, I needed to know the truth. I know you would want to know…eventually. What are you going to do?"

I bit my fingernail as I talked to her, nervous. "I don't know. What would you do?"

The line became silent for a minute. "We all know how Adrian can be and I don't condone what he did. However, he has been through so much stress and with everything changing in him lately.

Well frankly, I am surprised that a lot worse hasn't happened. He has always had a hard time coping and that was with only the spirit effects. Imagine all the other things compounding on him.

He has got to be losing his mind…literally. So, the only advice I can truly offer would be to ask yourself if you still love him and if you can forgive him?

Only you can decide that Rose. But, I am here if you need me. Oh, and I miss you! Good luck and hurry home. Sorry, but I got to go. I have class in ten minutes."

"Okay. I will see you soon. Bye! And thanks." I said as I pressed the end button.

I laid back on the bed staring at the ceiling while I searched my mind, my heart, and it didn't take me long to determine what I needed to do. I ran down the stairs and into the kitchen to find Olena and Yeva at the table.

"Olena, could you please notice the baby? I have somewhere I need to go."

"Of course. But, Rose it is storming outside. And if you are going to see Lord Adrian, he will still be there in the morning. Maybe it would be best to meet after you've both had a chance to rest."

Viktoria had just walked through the door. "Rose, what did you do to Adrian?"

I looked at her with shock. "What do you mean? What's wrong with him?"

"He came back to his room and he looked horrible. He looked completely devastated. Did you guys have a fight or something?"

"Did he say anything to you?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Not much, just that he was leaving in the morning."

I looked to Olena and then to Yeva, who was smiling at me and nodded. I knew that it meant something. It meant for me to go to him as I ran out the door.

It was just before dawn when I left the house to go to him. I pushed myself to run faster when I was caught in a torrential rainstorm. I ran through the streets of the small town and there I saw the bed and breakfast.

I slowed down my pace and walked to his room. I took one last deep breath and I knocked on his door, but there was no answer.

I knocked again, only louder this time. I was praying that I wasn't too late.

Sorry Guys! I had to do it! Yes, I can be evil with the occasion calls for it…insert sinister laugh here..

I will update tomorrow..promise.

NO MEAN REVIEWS! I am just keeping it interesting… ;-)

Terri