Chapter 31: Fireflies

"When did it start?"

"Last night."

"No, I mean when did it start originally?"

Kakuzu sighed. He had tried to block it out. He had worked for months after first coming to Kure-Ji-Kira to stop thinking about it. It was coming back now though. The memories flowed into his mind like a polluted river.

He was young. Well, younger. The perfect surgeon. He was clean and organized. He was focussed and clear headed so that nothing ever came before his patients. When he had a job to do he did it, perfectly. Everyone at the hospital either admired him or envied him. He could care less about anything other than his job. Some might have said he lived a stressful life but he thought that something as organized as his days could never be stressful.

He had time for everything he needed to do. Work, fun, and romance. He had been seeing a woman very much like himself for a few months when it happened. The woman who's name he would not think, got shot. In her chest.

Of course Kakuzu insisted on being the doctor to preform what he thought would be a life saving surgery. He was minutes away from going in to do the operation when he heard the police investigating the case talk about the shooting. One of the police said those fateful words:

"I can't believe how many shootings there are because of infidelity these days."

Cheating. Kakuzu had worked so hard at having a decent lover but then she went and cheated on him. Kakuzu remembered his breathing getting heavy and then he remembered clearly walking into the surgery room. He remembered cutting open the wound and seeing it.

The beating heart of his lover.

That was the moment when it happened. He snapped. He dropped his scalpel and he reached into her chest, pulling out her crimson organ as the nurses stared in shock. No one moved as Kakuzu held the heart in his hand and slowly pulled it out of the chest. The body seemed to know it was nearing death and it jerked forward, trying to keep itself connected to the one thing keeping it breathing. The heart also seemed to know it was nearing the end. It beat faster even though it's person was unconscious. This quick fluttering just made Kakuzu more thirsty. He pulled at it harder. Finally the tendons popped and the heart stopped beating. It was dead. She was dead. Everything in Kakuzu's life was dead.

His past life that is. After this incedent of course he got arrested, but he got out. He went on the run. He was mad, crazy. He became obsessed with hearts. He collected them. He put them inside himself. When he needed money, which he had always craved and obsessed over, he found a way to sell his hearts. Only the ones he didn't love of course. There were a few special ones that he kept inside himself for all time.

Finally he got tracked down by non other than the first Yamada. He was having a bad day when the sly man found him. Yamada used many conniving tactics to make Kakuzu come with him, back to Kure-Ji-Kira.

At first Kakuzu had hated it. He tried to break out many times. He thirsted for more money and more hearts which were obviously scarce in the prison. Yamada noticed these addictions and, figuring the one about hearts was more disturbing, worked endlessly trying to find a way to fix Kakuzu. In the end, after a lot of phsyco-therapy and some very illegal drugs, Kakuzu no longer felt a hunger for them. He became relaxed once again in his knew home where he felt safe. He barely thought about the girl he first killed or how he loved her. Because he didn't really love her. His new life inside the prison was much better than before.

Now he even had Hidan and Mei. He never thought in a million years that someone like him would have a child. It was a possibility that had not crossed his mind. He treasured his daughter and his lover more than anything, maybe even more than his money.

When the first Yamada was still alive he had continued going to therapy every now and then to make sure he didn't succumb back to his former insanity.

In the therapy room where he found himself yet again. He held his head in his hands as he knew he was trapped again. Trapped in his own mind. He was not sane. But he also would not hurt Hidan. Never. He would do whatever it took to make that become an impossibility.

"A while ago. This was the main reason I came here. I came to Kure-Ji-Kira for help. Seiji helped me. Can you do it again?" he looked up at a passive Sono Yamada pleadingly.

"My brother was much smarter than me. I do not know how to help you."

"Try!" Kakuzu barked.

"I will. But only because that is what my brother would do. To him I'm sure something like this would be a challenge. I'm going to try and find his notes. I don't know how long it will take but if your craving is as bad as you say I think you should keep away from your lover and child until I fix it. You can stay in here of course."

Kakuzu nodded.

Yamada stood up and walked to the door. He locked it before exiting.


"Tell me about the heart." Was Yamada first request when he sat down across from Kakuzu a few days later. Kakuzu placed the book he was reading on the table and gave Sono Yamada a strange look. Yamada just nodded.

"Tell me about the heart as if you were explaining it to someone who had never heard of such a thing before."

Kakuzu frowned and then he smiled.

"The heart is the most important organ in the human body. It gives life. It is life. It contains the blood and the oxygen we need to keep going. It moves and breathes like it has it's own soul. It is the center of the self and it is also a symbol. The represent love, yes? This is probably due to the fact that when one is in love ones heart beats faster and faster. The heart is usually the first thing to go when dying, therefor is one has an exceptionally strong hear they will most likely live longer. They are so fragile... but so strong."

He spoke with a reverence Yamada had never heard before. He scowled and write a few notes on his paper as Kakuzu continued speaking. He explained the science of taking a heart and keeping it alive out of the body. He spoke of how easy it was to kill a heart. He spoke of the connection between ones heart and their soul. He said that the soul lies in the heart. He said it as a fact, like he knew it was true.

Yamada pulled a few photo's out. Kakuzu raised an eyebrow as Yamada explained,

"I'm going to show you these. I want to see your reactions."

"Are they pictures of hearts? I did this before with the first Yamada."

Sono flinched. He felt like he was suddenly forced to remember the fact that the man who had killed his brother was sitting before him. He forced his hatred down and smiled.

"Yes. These are pictures of hearts. Here's the first one."

He flipped up the photo and there was a very small heart. Kakuzu's eyes shot open.

"A babies..." he muttered.

"You don't want this one? Isn't it a good, healthy heart?" Yamada asked as Kakuzu's breathing sped up.

"It's... very healthy. It's new... A new heart. Of a child..." Kakuzu instantly thought of Mei. Her heart would look this way. He didn't feel the craving for it. He felt sickness in his own heart.

Yamada switched the photo. Now there showed a blackened heart and deformed heart of someone who either smoked a lot or was caught in a fire.

"That might have been a good heart, if not for the owner of it being an idiot." Kakuzu muttered. He felt it a flicker of his past thirst. That heart would have gotten him money. In the past he might have been paid a lot of money to trade that heart for a better one. Many more people got illegal heart transplants than one would expect. Rich people who had money to spare and organs that they didn't care to look after.

Yamada flipped the picture. There was a picture of a perfectly ordinary looking heart. It was framed by the tan chest of a healthy man.

Kakuzu licked his lips. That was a good heart. More than a good heart, it was a familiar heart. He clutched his chest and felt one of his hearts beating faster than the others.

"I still have that one!" he yelled.

"Yes." Yamada said quietly. "I was wondering if you would remember. You took this heart from a very healthy man of 27. He was a swimmer in the olympics. He had a family and a small child. You took his heart out of pure selfishness."

Kakuzu's green eyes narrowed. He leaned back in his chair.

"Do you expect me to feel sorry? That heart has been keeping me going for years. Do you have any idea how old I am? I have mastered life because I only think about myself. That heart was nearly perfect! It still is!"

"Then why do you need more hearts?" Yamada asked as he put the pictures away.

Kakuzu was silent then he looked down and muttered,

"I don't need more. I only need Hidan's."

Yamada stared at him for a while then he stood.

"I understand. I've found some of Seiji's notes. He was not very organized so they are hard to decipher. I'm working on tracking down the supplier of the Scezozome* you used before. I'll get back to you. Stay here until then, obviously."

Kakuzu nodded and Yamada left the room. As he opened the door Hidan who had been waiting outside all day tried to force his way past Yamada.

"Kakuzu get your ass out here!! How am I supposed to take care of Mei with you in that fucking room?"

Kakuzu wanted nothing more than to rush out, embrace his child, and beg Hidan for forgiveness but he restrained himself. He wouldn't hurt them. Not ever.


*Something I made up.

Whoo! Isn't me having inspiration great? It means I update super fast! Which is always good. Not only do I update fast but they are good updates too. How did everyone like a little Kakuzu history? It wasn't very detailed but it did get the point across.

KeikoPanda102