As Hotch released Spencer, JJ rushed forward. She threw her arms around him and held him close. She almost broke down then and there when she felt her fellow agent sway in her arms, unable to stand up straight. Almost, but not quite.
"I am so sorry." She whispered into his shoulder.
"It's alright. It's not your fault." He told her, meaning every word.
With one last squeeze JJ let go of Spencer, waiting till he was in the capable hands of Gideon before she turned to leave.
"Let's get you out of here." She heard Gideon say to the young FBI agent.
She made eye contact with Morgan, who gave her a slight nod. She brushed by her team and the surrounding officers and kept walking until she was out of sight.
She finally stopped by a large tree grasping at the trunk as she fought to steady her breathing. Her breaths were short and shallow as she tried to keep the sobs from wracking her body.
As tears finally began to trail down her cheeks, JJ felt herself slip down the tree. She drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, burying her face in her arms. Her shoulders shook with repressed sobs.
After a few minutes, JJ heard someone coming towards her. She didn't look up, not wanting anyone in her team to see her so broken. "JJ?" It was Emily.
JJ sniffed and sat up straight, attempting to smile. Emily didn't buy it. Even in the dark she could see the trails of tears on her teammates face.
She turned away slightly and took something from her jacket pocket. JJ heard her speak, but wasn't able to comprehend what it was that she was saying. She only looked up when she felt Emily sit down next to her.
Emily wrapped an arm around JJ's shoulders, pulling her closer. "The ambulance is taking Reid to the hospital." JJ sniffed as she rested her head on her friend's shoulder. "I called Hotch and told him to go on without us." Emily paused. "I thought you could use a moment."
"It's my fault." JJ said it so quietly Emily almost missed it.
"JJ, it isn't."
JJ shook her head. "Yes it is. I'm the senior agent I know not to split up. I should've stopped him."
"You both knew not to split up. Sometimesā¦things are just out of our control. What happened to Reid wasn't your fault. It was the fault of the UnSub. It was Tobias Hankel."
JJ didn't respond. She took a deep shaky breath and just sat up straight, wiping at her eyes.
Emily decided to change the subject. "How's your arm?"
JJ unconsciously fiddled with the bandaged wrapped around her left forearm. She thought back to that moment in the barn when the dogs had come after her. She could almost see their eyes on her, hear their low growling, feel their teeth sink into her arm.
"JJ?" Emily gently touched her friend's hand. JJ jumped at the sudden contact, looking around wildly. "Hey JJ! Take it easy."
JJ leaned back against the tree and closed her eyes. "I can still hear and see them." She said in a quiet voice.
"The dogs?" Emily could tell that what had happened to JJ in the barn had scared her badly.
JJ nodded her head slowly.
"You're safe now JJ." Emily peered at the woman sitting next to her. "You both are."
A cold wind blew, causing both agents to shiver involuntarily.
Emily stood up. "Come on," She offered JJ her hands. "Let's get to the hospital."
Pausing for only a moment JJ grabbed Emily's outstretched hands and let the agent pull her to her feet. Together they walked through the trees towards their SUV.
Three hours later JJ jerked awake, her heart hammering in her chest. She thought she had heard growling, but realized that she must have only been dreaming.
She looked to her left and saw Spencer Reid, mumbling in his sleep in a hospital bed. She reached out and grabbed his hand, trying to soothe him. "It's ok, Spence." She whispered gently. "You're ok." She continued to reassure him until he settled down.
"How's he doing?" JJ's head snapped up. She saw Hotch standing in the doorway, watching her carefully.
"He's asleep finally," JJ glanced at Spencer. "But he keeps talking in his sleep."
Hotch walked up to the bed, coming to stand right beside JJ. "How are you doing JJ?"
JJ ran her hands through her hair. "I'm fine."
"JJ," Hotch started.
"Hotch," She interrupted him. "Don't profile me. Please." JJ was dead tired and she knew that she wouldn't be able to hide anything from Hotch.
Hotch gave a quiet chuckle. "Sorry, occupational hazard." He placed his hand on JJ's shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze. "If you need anything I'm here." He turned to leave, stopping at the door to take one last look at JJ. "We're all here JJ."
JJ gave Hotch a small smile and turned back towards Spencer. He was sleeping soundly still. JJ felt her eyelids begin to droop. She curled her legs up underneath her, rested her head in her arms, and closed her eyes. No longer able to fight the exhaustion she felt.
"JJ?" JJ opened her eyes. She had been dozing on the couch on the FBI jet. She sat up when she saw Spencer standing above her.
"Spence," JJ gently pulled Spencer to sit down next to her on the couch. "You should be resting."
"I uh, couldn't sleep." He leaned his head back and looked at JJ from the corner of his eye. "Are you ok JJ?" Spencer asked his voice full of concern.
"Spence, don't worry about me."
"JJ I heard you scream when I was out in the corn field. You didn't sound ok to me then." He glanced at the bandage wrapped around her arm.
"Hankel's dogs were in the barn."
Spencer's eyes widened as he turned his head towards JJ. "Did they attack you?"
"Yeah they did." JJ said quietly. She was trying to block out what had happened in the barn.
"JJ,"
"Spencer I'm ok. Seriously. Don't even worry about me." They were both quiet for a few minutes before JJ spoke again. "Spencer I'm sorry."
Spencer gave JJ a confused look. Something JJ wasn't accustomed seeing on the young geniuses face. "For what?"
"You were kidnapped and tortured," Her voice cracked. "Because of me."
"JJ I told you earlier that it wasn't your fault. If anything it was my fault." JJ met his gaze. "I'm the one who left you. I wasn't thinking straight." Spencer paused for a moment. "Look we can play the guilt thing all night, but it's not going to help the situation at all."
JJ leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "Everyone keeps telling me not to feel guilty."
"You shouldn't."
"I can't help how I feel Spence." She took a deep breath. "I was so worried about you." Her voice had gone down to a whisper.
Spencer was quiet. JJ could tell that Spencer was exhausted. "Why don't you take the couch?" She went to get up.
Spencer grabbed her wrist. "JJ I've been sleeping for almost the last two days. I don't think I can sleep anymore."
"You still need your rest."
"How much have you slept in the last few days?" JJ let herself get pulled back onto the couch. "Seriously, get some rest JJ."
Deciding it would be easier to comply rather than argue JJ grabbed a pillow, put it on Spencer's lap, and lay down. She closed her eyes and tried to catch up on some much needed sleep.
