Away From Home

Chapter Fifteen

By Andruindel

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It was dark by the time someone finally came.

I had long since stopped banging my head against the wall, and let my eyes drop closed. If I was going to be sitting there for hours, I might as well rest. That was the reasoning behind my decision. Pretty dumb reasoning, but reasoning, none-the-less.

I was awakened when someone poked me with their foot. Opening my eyes and looking around, I realized that I had fallen asleep. I hadn't intended to fall asleep. Just rest for a while, while I waited. But, apparently walking up all those stairs had been more exhausting than I'd thought.

I looked up, and L was there above me, in his usual slouched posture, staring at me.

"Hey," I said, running a hand through my hair. "Where've you been all day?"

L blinked once. "I was working." He replied evasively. "Would you mind moving, so I can open the door…?"

It took a moment for me to realize what he meant. Of course, once I did, I stood up shaking my head to try and wake myself up. I watched L open the door, and then followed him inside, still half-asleep.

He was silent as he went toward the kitchen, and I followed. He didn't seem to want to talk. Which was understandable, seeing as he was L. Personally, I didn't want to talk either. I was tired, and grumpy from having slept in the hall for who knows how long. I still didn't know why no one had been there, either.

I watched L for a moment before deciding that I didn't want to be among people, even if it was only one person. Once I had decided that, I went to the work room, where I artfully stole a pad of paper, and a pencil. Then I sat down in my favorite corner.

I stared at the paper, tapping the pencil against my knee. My mind was far away. Or rather… I had delved deep within my own mind, which I had not done for a long time. I hardly noticed when L came into the work room. I had started writing.

For almost an entire hour I wrote, sometimes erasing things, sometimes just sitting and thinking before jotting down a word or two. By the time I was done, I was mentally exhausted. I hadn't explored my own thoughts in so long, it was like a whole new world to me.

I set down my pencil, once I was done, and sat back to read what I had written. It consisted of this:

Illusion

Draw me in

Thou net of safety

Give my mind the peace

It yearns for.

Thy folds of pain

Masked by false hope

Soothe the wounds

That I long bore.

Free my spirit

Numb my mind, my soul

To all the pain

To all the fear.

I can not take

Much more of this

The things I think

The things I hear.

The burdens mine

The torture thine

Give me rest

Give peace to me.

Draw me in

Thou net of safety

Thou art an illusion

Yet thy betrayal is invisible

To me

Surprised at my own words, I stared at the poem. It was… interesting. And slightly frightening. It was so weird, writing a poem again after so long. I wasn't a big poetry person any way, but sometimes poetry was the only way I could express myself.

"What are you writing, Amy-chan?"

I looked up, and realized that L was watching me, and had most likely been doing so for a while. He had finished whatever he'd been eating, or drinking, or whatever. Now he was staring at me, his head tipped slightly to one side.

I flushed, and looked away. "Just a poem…" I replied lightly, trying to hide my poem out of sight. But L was far too nosy.

"May I read it?" He inquired innocently.

I considered. I almost never let people read what I wrote. Most of it was personal, a clearer window into my soul than anything else. But sometimes, I would let someone see what I'd written, either because I honestly wanted to share it, or because they honestly wanted to read it. Now was one of those times when someone honestly wanted to read something I'd written.

"I guess…" I said slowly, and I stood up to hand the pad of paper to L. As soon as he had it, I fled to my room, lest I have to sit there and watch while he read it.

I paced restlessly around my room until I thought L might have finished reading it, then I went and peered into the work room. L was still sitting on the couch, but the paper was on the table before him, and he had gotten himself a cup of tea.

I slipped quietly into the room, and sat down on the couch across from L. He glanced up at me before looking back down at the paper.

"Your writing shows an inquisitive, clever mind." He commented.

I blushed with pleasure. That was possibly the first compliment he'd ever given me. "Thank you," I replied. I picked up the pad of paper, tore off the paper with my poem on it, folded it, and put it in my pocket, all while not looking at L.

The room was quiet for a bit, but I didn't mind. My thoughts were on the poem I'd written. Sometimes, I didn't think my writing was a true reflection of my feelings at the time. I just wrote whatever came to mind. But, at the same time, there was meaning behind it.

"Is… Is that how you feel, Amy?" L asked after a bit.

I looked up at him. "What do you mean?" I asked.

L met my eyes evenly, in that unblinking stare of his. It was kind of creepy, when I thought about it. "Your poem describes a situation of utter hopelessness, a situation where false hope and false protection must be found, and used to offer some source of security. Is that how you feel?"

I thought for a minute or two. "Not really…" I said. "It's just… what came out of the pencil while I was writing." I shrugged, unable to explain it any more than that.

"Ah…"

We were quiet again, until L spoke once more. "Why were you in the hall when I got here…?"

"Oh… Because I went for a walk, and when I got back no one was… home." I'd used that word again. Why did I keep using that word to refer to the hotel suite? Did I actually feel that it was my home now? I didn't want to think so… But somehow, I think I did.

I was hardly finished musing when L broke into my thoughts. "Forgive me, Amy… Chief Yagami collapsed today, and everyone left early, after ensuring that he was okay. I forgot about you…"

Now that I knew the circumstances, I hardly cared that I'd been left outside. "You mean… It wasn't Kira, then?" I asked anxiously.

L shook his head. "No. He merely over-worked himself."

I sighed. "Good…" I mumbled. I wasn't fond of Chief Yagami, but still… I would have been sad if he'd died. Of course, now I knew what was going on. L had been at the college all day, playing tennis with Light.

That could only mean one thing…

Soon enough, Light was going to come into my life.

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Oh my goodness. This chapter is kinda boring. ;-; I'm running out of insperationg. Kinda. I did finish chapter seventeen. Hopefully I'll be able to finish chapter eighteen soon. Oh, and, just for you people who are waiting for an appearance by Light, it's coming in chapter eighteen. Just though I'd let you know. Don't forget to review!

Note: I did actually write that poem. I'd appreciate it if no one stole it!