Chapter 49: Papa Don't Preach

"Damn Kakuzu, you look like shit."

"That sounds pretty bad coming from the shark-face." Kakuzu replied. Kisame just rolled his eyes then laughed as he lifted one of Kakuzu's arms around his shoulders to help Hidan carry him.

As he stepped out of the ice cold Black Room Hidan glanced around the hallway that was, only a little while before, crawling with guards determined to either capture them or kill them. Now it seemed all the guards were either dead or passed out on the floor. Tobi was busy holding Zetsu back because the cannibal was slowly moving towards the dead body of the 3rd and final prison warden of Kure-Ji-Kira. Hidan smirked. Today was a good day. The best day he'd had in quite a while.

"Hey! You guys found Kakuzu!" Suigetsu said as he and Karin came around the corner. She then turned to Pein and smiled. "We just told the rest of the inmates they were free to go."

"Then we should probably get out of here too." Pein replied and began walking down the hallway towards the light of the outside.

As they made their way down the hall Tobi put his hand on his chin and muttered,

"Tobi wonders if it might be a bad idea to let a bunch of crazy criminals loose into the world like this...?"

Silence hung over Akatsuki for a moment then they shrugged and replied together,

"Nah!"


As they ran back to the vans they had parked on the side of the prison building, they noticed one of the cars was being shook back and forth from the inside. Suigetsu ran ahead of everyone and threw open the back doors of the van. All four children fell out onto the ground.

"What the hell did you thin you were doing? Someone could have seen you and then you'd just be sitting ducks!" He yelled.

They completely ignored him when they noticed the small bunny rabbit he was holding in his arms.

"Usa-chan!" Aki and Ueno giggled as they began petting him. Mei noticed Hidan and Kisame holding up a bloodied and exhausted Kakuzu and she screamed,

"DADDY!"

His eyes seemed to brighten as she ran over and hugged his waist. It was then that Kakuzu noticed how thin she looked, and they way her hair seemed a bit messy, and her grip quite loose. He growled at Hidan,

"You've been feeding her right, haven't you?"

"She ate what I ate." Hidan replied in an annoyed tone.

"Which was?" Kakuzu insisted.

"Instant Ramen. It was all we could fucking afford."

Now Kakuzu shut up. He looked back and forth between his lover and child and felt even worse for leaving them alone for a whole year. He was technically the man and he should have been looking out for them. As they drove home, Mei fell asleep with her head on his lap, while Hidan rested on his shoulder. He became quite content, just sitting there with them.

When they returned to Pein's house it was past midnight, and everyone had to help them inside. They all fell asleep on one bed, a content smile across Kakuzu's stitched face.


When Hidan awoke the next morning he was alone in bed. He sat up blearily only to see Kakuzu sitting a desk in the far corner of the room. He exhaled deeply.

"It wasn't a dream."

"Weren't you yelling at me just yesterday for thinking you were a dream?" Kakuzu chuckled.

"That's cuz you acted like it was some giant shock for me to come save your ass!" Hidan snorted as he stood up and began searching through a few drawers of the desk Kakuzu was sitting at. After a minute he pulled something out and went, "Aha." He handed Kakuzu the same box Kakuzu had handed him almost exactly one year ago to the day. Kakuzu scowled.

"Hidan, I gave that to you to keep forever. I want you to know that it belongs to you."

"You don't have to worry about that." Hidan replied. "I took care of it."

Before Kakuzu could ask how, Hidan flipped open the lid of the box, revealing Kakuzu's still beating heart, but not exactly the same as the owner remembered it. He couldn't stifle his laughter as he looked down into the box to see the words:

HIDAN'S PROPERTY

tattooed on the very fragile flesh of the red organ. Once again, before he could utter a word, Hidan said amusedly,

"You shoulda seen the tattoo guy's face when I opened the box. Like he'd never seen a fucking human heart before. Pussy. I had to kill him anyway he would've just told someone something like a dumb-ass."

Kakuzu kept staring at his heart as he replied light-heartedly,

"You got rid of the body right?"

Hidan sneered at him. "What? You think I aint never killed anybody afore? Dammit Kakuzu you been away too-"

He was cut off but a fierce kiss, a kiss that made him instantly crave sexual gratification. The kiss made him remember just how long he had been away from Kakuzu. Yet, at the same time, it felt as if they had only been apart for a day or two. Their lips fit together like puzzle pieces, just as they always did. And one of the first things Hidan always noticed about Kakuzu's kissing, he tasted amazingly good. It was always the same taste, and always the same smell, green mint, and the scent of cleanliness and order. There was no other taste or smell like it in all the world.

Kakuzu felt the same things Hidan did. Hidan's kisses were exactly the same as they had always been; intoxicating and rather violent, just the way Kakuzu liked them. Hidan tasted good too, but not in the same way Kakuzu did. He had a feeling he was probably the only one in the world who really loved the way Hidan tasted, like fire and death. There was only one smell Kakuzu liked better, and that was the smell of money, not that he would ever tell Hidan that.

As he began to move his tongue deeper to try and get an even better taste, Hidan moaned and pushed him away a little. When Kakuzu reluctantly separated, Hidan gasped,

"It's the damn morning. Don't make me get all hot and heavy before breakfast!"

"Who's fault is that?' Kakuzu asked as he slid a hand towards the rim of Hidan's pants.

"It's not my fucking fault if that's what you're trying to say and HEY!- Where the hell do you think you're sticking your damn hand?!"

"It is your fault. Completely your fault." Kakuzu replied, grabbing Hidan's hand and moving it between his legs. Hidan yelped when he felt a bulge and Kakuzu snickered, "I'm just as turned on as you are. I haven't been able to fuck you in far too long, and I don't know how much longer I can wait."

Hidan bit his lip and it seemed for a minute that he was just going to push Kakuzu away. Then, he gave his reply by reaching around Kakuzu and clicking the lock on the bedroom door.

"Better fuck me good, asshole, cuz I can't wait anymore either!" Hidan muttered as he pressed his lips back onto Kakuzu's and bit lightly as Kakuzu licked the sensitive skin nibbling at his.

They didn't want to rush despite how long they had been apart. They just wanted to hold each other, to really feel the pleasure they gave one another so that if they ever had to separate again, at least they would remember.

Kakuzu leaned back against the headboard, Hidan squirming in his lap as he used his tongue to leave hot tracks along his lover's neck. Kakuzu's skilled hands slipped underneath Hidan's shirt with ease, sliding over his belly button and moving up. His finger teased Hidan's nipples for a moment before he lifted the shirt over the Jashinist's head and tossed it to the floor. Now Hidan could feel Kakuzu's bare skin against his back. He'd always loved Kakuzu's chest, the many scars only adding to the rough and overall manly effect his torso held.

He was already shivering with anticipation when he heard Kakuzu's coarse voice whisper huskily into his ear, "Take your pants off."

Hidan let out an uneven exhale, full of repressed lust and need, as he slipped ungracefully out of his sweats. Kakuzu couldn't help but laugh as Hidan cursed his pants to hell for not coming off easier, but then he just raised an eyebrow when he saw the pale man wasn't even wearing any underwear beneath said pants. Hidan caught his gaze then turned back around all the way and balled his hands into fists trying to pull down Kakuzu's drawers. with Kakuzu's assistance they were soon on the floor with the rest of their clothes, yet somehow now both men were unbearably hot.

Kakuzu reached down Hidan's tensed stomach until he grasped at his lover's erection lightly. He pumped it up and down while twirling one of Hidan's nipples in his other hand. Hidan leaned back, pressing his body hard into Kakuzu's as he tried to keep his breathing steady. Kakuzu's hand rubbing him so skillfully was making his steady breathing very difficult, and his mind was reeling from the sensations.

"Ka...kuzu..." he moaned softly.

Kakuzu teased the tip of Hidan's length, earning a shudder all throughout the Jashinist's body. Kakuzu's own arousal was pulsing between his legs and it was almost like animal instinct when he started rubbing it along the soft skin of Hidan's backside. When Hidan felt that he clumsily picked himself up a little and grabbed Kakuzu's member in one hand, trying to place himself over the length tactfully. Kakuzu noticed what he was trying to do and wrapped an arm around his waist, causing him to fall back in between Kakuzu's legs on the bed. He then poised two fingers in front of Hidan's face which Hidan took in his mouth instantly, lathering them with liquid quickly before Kakuzu removed them again.

He trailed the two fingers down Hidan's back before making it to his trembling opening and pushing the first inside. Hidan lifted away from the finger at first but then he got used to it and wanted more. Kakuzu added a second and soon after a third finger, making Hidan whimper from surprise.

He fingered Hidan with the three fingers for a minute, then pulled then out and lifted Hidan up with one hand, placing his now prepared hole right over his member. Kakuzu's tight grip on Hidan caused the younger man to snap,

"Asshole!"

"That's what I'm aiming for." Kakuzu replied swiftly.

Hidan held his breath as he was slowly lowered onto the rock hard length. Every inch felt like an hour until finally he had the whole thing inside him.

"Owwww..." he moaned, "It's hurts... we didn't use any lube."

"You never needed it before. I thought you liked it when it hurt?" Kakuzu asked skeptically.

"I do," Hidan replied, "But I wanna feel your hot cock too. I want the burn to hurt."

"Your wish is my command." Kakuzu muttered before thrusting his hips down, then violently upwards. "I'll set you on fire with my passion. I love you, remember."

"Kakuzu!" Hidan yelled. He then felt both of Kakuzu's hands on his ass, spreading it so he could go deeper. H altered his angle and as though he were a mind reading, aimed at the perfect place and thrust.

"KAKUZU!" Hidan screamed for real this time. "Holy fuck!"

Kakuzu didn't just thrust once, he had been saving his energy and now that he knew where to aim, he moved his hips fast, easily sliding in and out, deep into Hidan. He brought both hands to Hidan's thighs, spreading them apart and lifting Hidan up and down in rhythm with him. Hidan was too busy to think that maybe his legs didn't even bend that way, his heart was beating faster than he thought possible, and on one particularly rough thrust he accidentally bit his lip, blood streaming down instantly.

Kakuzu noticed Hidan's wound and slowed just a little so he could turn Hidan's head and lick the cut, both of them finding themselves in a fierce tongue battle as if they had no time to waste. Kakuzu continued his thrusting, even harder now that he could feel himself building up for release.

Even though he had been away from Hidan's body for at least a year, he could also tell that his lover was nearing his climax as well. His thought was proven correct in a second when Hidan gasped,

"I'm so fucking close Kakuzu!" He threw his head back as he felt Kakuzu's manhood pulsing inside him, the friction it's quick movements were making sending him almost over the end and into pure bliss. He reached around and began stroking himself, not being able to distinguish precum from the sweat that was pouring down all over his body ad to his hands.

"Nearly there..." Kakuzu grunted.

"Kakuzu!" Hidan yelped, "Fill my ass up! I can't cum if you don't pour it into me! I want it all dammit!"

"Aaaaaah!" Kakuzu groaned as he got one last thrust in, then held his hips up while pushing Hidan's down, obeying Hidan's request and depositing all of his juices into his lover that he had been saying just for him.

As Hidan felt the skeet invading his hole he started convulsing as he let out his own cum all over the bed sheets. He barely had any voice left to yell an incoherent thought before collapsing on top of Kakuzu's worn out manhood and the rest of his panting, sweaty body.

After a minute Kakuzu allowed himself to let out a deep exhale. Then, there was silence in the room, Hidan having fallen asleep once it was over. Kakuzu tried to smooth back Hidan's ruined hair when all of a sudden a loud grumbling sound came from his lover's stomach. At first kakuzu was just dumbfounded, then he laughed and untangled himself from Hidan, put on a pair of shorts, and walked out of the room to go get his exhausted lover some breakfast.

As he poured them both some coffee he noticed Kisame raise an eyebrow at him and Suigetsu stare at him thoughtfully. As he walked back into his and Hidan's room he distinctly heard Kisame's voice,

"Morning sex, huh? We should try that."

Kakuzu closed their bedroom door before he heard Suigetsu's reply, but there was no screaming, he felt it was safe to assume the two of them would be absent at next morning's breakfast table.


"Deidara," Sasori said authoritatively. "Stop with your ridiculously pointless explosions. You will kill yourself or someone else one day."

Deidara smiled down at Aki, completely disregarding Sasori, though his lover's words of disdain did sting a bit. Deidara always wished Sasori would just accept his way of making art, instead of telling him constantly to stop.

"So Nitrogen and Helium combined make that type of explosion?" Aki said interestedly.

"Yup, un. And tomorrow i'll try to show you the beginning of how to make fireworks, if you want, yeah?"

"Yes, please Deidara-sensei!" Aki replied.

Across the room, Ueno looked up from what he was working on to ask,

"Does this look good, Sasori-sensei?"

Sasori pulled himself away from rolling his eyes at Deidara's mess to glance down at the model replica he had instructed Ueno to make. He evaluated it for a few minutes before finally pointing to a small spot and replying,

"That needs work. Keep going until it's perfect, I need to speak with Deidara for a moment."

He then walked over towards Deidara's side of the room where the blond was having the other shark-twin look at elemental structures under a microscope. Deidara soon noticed that Sasori wished to speak with him. He told Aki to keep doing what he was doing and that he would be back in a second.

Deidara crossed his arms and gave Sasori a defiant stare which Sasori ignored and just spoke flatly,

"You know that isn't real art."

"Says you, yeah."

"I'm older, I should know what's true art and what isn't far better than you." Sasori replied.

"Dammit Danna! Every since we got out of Kure-Ji-Kira you've been such a butt-head about everything, yeah! You keep acting like you know everything, especially about what's good art. Art should be about self expression and the glory of life, un!"

"Long life, made of patience and slow and steady aging. Something your art fails to comprehend. Actually, your art doesn't seem to comprehend anything besides raw idiocy."

"My art shows passion yeah! More than you can say with your boring, old sculptures and puppets that are good for absolutely nothing, un!!" Deidara's voice rose steadily as the color of his face changed from pale to a flushed, angry pink.

"Nothing?" Sasori asked coolly, "My art tells of a history and a beauty that is far too graceful and magnificent for a lowly bomber like you to understand. How did I ever have sex with someone who could not even comprehend how to hold an erection without wasting it for more than 5 minutes because he liked to explode?"

Deidara's eyes narrowed dangerously. "So now you're going to bring our sex life into this, un? Fine, I can't count how many times I was bored out of my fucking head just waiting for you to finish, un! Which is really funny seeing as you always say how much you hate to make people wait, yeah. You make such a task-"

"BOOM!"

Sasori and Deidara's argument came to an abrupt end when a rather large force exploded behind them. Just as they turned to make sure everything was ok and that there was no real damage done, they heard a distinctive crash behind them coming from the other direction. Then a pink blur raced by, straight over to Aki who was picking himself up off the ground, specs of debris spattered in his hair and across the floor.

"Aki!" Ueno cried as he helped his brother stand back up and then promptly sit back down in a chair. "What happened? Are you ok?"

Aki just seemed a bit dazed for a moment. In that moment, Sasori turned to Deidara and scowled.

"look what you've caused. He could've been killed!"

Deidara growled and was about to curse at Sasori with everything he had when they both heard Aki giggle,

"That was amazing! Did you see it Ueno? I mixed Neon and Sulfur, who knew it would make that color!?"

Ueno soon got a huge smile across his face, matching Aki's when he replied,

"I bet it was the neon, doesn't neon make colors? You freaked me out, Aki! I thought you blew up or something!"

Aki just shook his head. "These chemicals aren't that dangerous. I can't wait to use even better ones. I want to make fireworks, but not just that, do you know I could create my own metals? Something brand new, and i'd even get to name it! Isn't that awesome, Ueno?"

"Totally! I can't wait to see to see it when you make it! Think I could build something with it? Oh, guess what Sasori-sense told me today! He said the human heart has four valves and their all used for something different. I was working on a complete reconstruction of a human heart, but... I might have to start over now. Sasori-sensei won't like that..."

"Oh no!" Aki said sadly, "Did my explosion make you break it?"

Ueno laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head. "Well no... but I dropped it to rush over here because I thought you were hurt."

"I'm so sorry Ueno. Can you forgive me?"

"It could have been a lot worse you know. You actually could've been hurt or something..."

"Well... can you show me something else you're working on?" Aki asked shyly.

"Sure." Ueno smiled, then slyly took his brother's hand as he led him over to his side of the room.

Deidara and Sasori were left in the center of the room, confused and awkward. Deidara bit his lip and began twirling a piece of his hair, thinking about the way the twins acted towards each other. They had respect for each other's chosen interests, even though they didn't understand them. He suddenly began moving towards the cluttered mess around the desk. He could feel Sasori watching him as he began clearing away bits of destroyed beakers and magnifying lenses. It made him distracted, so he accidentally cut himself on one of the loose pieces of cursed and was about to bring his finger up to his lips, when Sasori's hand caught his wrist. He gasped then looked away when Sasori brought the digit up to his own lips instead. He licked it a few times, then pulled a band-aid out of his pocket and made sure it covered the wound completely. He sighed.

"I think it's really cute when you cum so fast. I was lying before, when I said I hated it."

Deidara began trembling a little before he could whisper,

"Danna... I was never bored during sex, un! I always loved it when you made me wait, it made me feel it a lot more, yeah!"

"Deidara!" Sasori muttered before wrapping his arms around the feminine blond.

"Danna!" Deidara cried just as enthusiastically.

Both Aki and Ueno rolled their eyes as they walked out the door.

"Grown-ups are so weird." they muttered in unison, their clasped hands swinging rhythmically with each step.


Mei had been surrounded by sex her entire life. Sure, mostly it had been very hardcore, gay sex, but sex was sex; there was no getting around it. While she could tell that Aki and Ueno were more than interested in the somewhat risque topic, she herself had little interest in it. That is, until she realized that Orochi has no interest in it either.

"Are we in love?" She asked him one afternoon as he wrote solemnly in his spiral bound journal beneath the bright tree in the garden.

His glasses flashed, but he didn't blush like he did in the past. He had grown a lot in the year since he left Kure-Ji-Kira. He now felt that he was just a bit lucky to have been exposed to such a harsh life. It occurred to him the day he had been bullied by some local kids for looking like a girl. They had expected him to be an easy target, but all he had to do was confuse them, make them disoriented, then hit their vital points before they could do anything. As they ran away he wondered how come they didn't know how to defend themselves like he did, and then it struck him; he had learned self-defense from his father, and every one of his teachers when he was very little. The reason for that was because all of his teachers had been or still were high class criminals.

The moment he was the most glad he had learned those things was when Mei had been held hostage by the second Yamada, and he used his strength and bravery to rescue her. That was the first time he had ever felt like he wanted to be someone's hero.

He still felt that same heroic excitement every time he looked at her, especially when her hair blew in her face as she sat next to him under the tree in the garden.

"I love you." he said fearlessly. "You love me too."

"How do you know?' she asked curiously.

"You don't know," he replied as he annoyingly flicked some of his long black hair from his face. "You feel."

She was quiet for a while, then she pulled a hair band from around her wrist and bent over him, smoothly grabbing his silk locks with one hand and holding the scrunchy in the other. She tied the hair back loosely, only wrapping the hair band twice. The band brought the hair together at his neck, and kept it under control, while still letting it be loose enough so some strands fell at the front. When she leaned back into her seat he moved his head back and forth, enjoying how his hair didn't bother him as much.

"Now you'll have to do my hair every day you know." he said jokingly.

"That means I can stay with you forever then, right?" She was almost going to ask him when they could have sex too, just like the others did, but then changed her mind. She didn't know what he would say, and she didn't know if she even wanted it.

Before Orochi could answer, Aki and Ueno hopped from behind the tree and asked,

"Can we-"

"-stay with you guys too?"

Mei and Orochi smiled.

"I suppose it would be boring without you." Orochi murmured unenthusiastically.

"Only if you promise not to kiss in front of me!" Mei giggled.

"But we thought you liked it, Meiiii!" They said together, moving closer to each other and clasping hands.

Mei pushed them a little and blushed, that still being her greatest weakness. The four of them spent the rest of the afternoon discussing their lives and future adventures together. It was a plan they would stick to for as long as they could.


"Dad," Mei said firmly one afternoon a few years later, "Daddy," she turned to Kakuzu and nodded a little. Her hair had grown longer and her face less round. She was even more beautiful though, a million times more feminine than Hidan could ever be. She cleared her throat and began for real, now that she had gotten both of her parent's attentions,

"I'm 16 this year-"

"You aren't 16 yet dammit!" Hidan growled, instinct telling him he was not going to like where this conversation was going. Mei, having a lot of patience when it came to her uke father, just sighed.

"Dad, I'm going to go and have an adventure."

"Are Orochi, Aki, and Ueno going with you?" Kakuzu asked calmly.

"Of course!" She said in a chipper tone.

"Adventure!?" Hidan asked loudly. "What kinda shit is that? Why the fuck would we let you go out in the world traveling alone with three fucking guys like that? Do you think we're stupid or something-?"

"I think you should go. Do something you like. Have an adventure I guess, if that's what you want to call it. Do you have a plan about money, because you aren't getting any from me." Kakuzu smiled lightly, remembering when his daughter was a lot younger. "I remember one time I asked you why you called me 'Daddy' and Hidan 'Dad'. You said, "Auntie Karin told me she always called her Dad, 'Daddy' when she wanted money, and Dad never has any money!" You were so cute back then. Now I can see through that little smile. We taught you to lie too well."

"I would never lie to you guys." she replied sweetly.

"Lie!" Hidan spat.

Mei stuck her tongue out at him before turning to Kakuzu and replying,

"Orochi has a lot of money saved up. We should be good for a while. Plus, we have a plan." Her eyes twinkled as she said it and her smile widened.

"What plan?" Hidan asked suspiciously.

"Not telling. If I tell you'll try to help, and I want to do this on my own!" She said.

"When are you leaving?" Kakuzu asked sadly.

"Today." she replied defiantly, as if daring either one of her father's to tell her otherwise.

Hidan opened his mouth to scream but Kakuzu quickly quieted him with a hand around his mouth. As Hidan struggled to get free, Kakuzu smiled and kissed Mei's forehead, telling her softly,

"Better go quick. I don't know how I'm going to distract him for long enough."

"Maybe you could travel too. You've both been bumming around Uncle Nagato and Aunt Konan's place long enough. They have a few kids now and they might want a quieter life than you guys lead."

Kakuzu nodded. "I've been thinking the same things."

Hidan finally got his mouth free enough to yell,

"DOMESTIC VIOLENCE! LET ME GO- DAMMIT-! AT LEAST LEEME SAY BYE TO THE KID WHO WAS IN MY FUCKING STOMACH FOR 8 MONTHS!"

Kakuzu released Hidan gently and the Jashinist gave Mei a reluctant hug. He pouted a lot while he muttered,

"Who's gonna worship Jashin with me now? You're father is a heathen and you're leaving! Damn! Don't forget to sacrifice and pray! I- I love you, okay. And don't fucking die either!"

Mei just nodded as she walked out the door that Aki was holding open for her. When the door slammed, Hidan turned to Kakuzu and smirked.

"Well, where the hell are we going now?"


See, long chapters. Next chapter is the ennnddd!!!! Yay! Or... not! But for me it's yay! Because I totally know what I'm gonna do! It'll be perfect! Just wait.

Love you all. I know this story has a lot of fans(though I don't understand the ones who don't review) and I hope you appreciate all the chapters and aren't too upset that it is ending.

KeikoPanda102