Chapter 50: BigCityDreams
Another year passed slowly since Mei had left to travel with Orochi and the Shark Twins. Not even a day after that, Deidara and Sasori announced their own plans for travel. They had already booked tickets to Greece, where they hoped to start a new life, at least for a little while. About a week after that, Kisame bought a small boat(he had quite a bit of money saved up from before he had been sent to Kure-Ji-Kira), and without a word, disappeared over the horizon on the endless blue with Suigetsu at his side. Karin decided to stay behind and live with Konan and Nagato. She had truly fallen in love with their children and enjoyed looking after the quickly increasing number of them. Naruto and Sasuke got in touch now and again, but they mostly lived a happy life on their own, surrounded by their friends. Juugo was long gone, following after Kabuto like a lost puppy.
The only mystery it seemed, was when Zetsu and Tobi seemingly vanished into this air. One day they were there, the next they were gone. No one actually questioned it, they just figured it was bound to happen some time.
In the end, only Kakuzu and Hidan were left to decide where to go. They racked their brains for days until finally, as Kakuzu was browsing his old bingo book, he had an interesting idea.
"Oi, Hidan." he said one evening. "Have you ever thought about being a bounty hunter?"
Hidan gave him an annoyed glance as he replied, "Why the hell would I want to go around catching idiots then not being able to kill the stupid heathens?"
"Look how much this guys worth." He held the book open to the page and Hidan read the number below the man's picture.
"Shit..." he exclaimed softly. "N-not that I care about money that much or anything, money is a sin and waste and Jashin-sama doesn't condone this kind of thing. But... you like money... so maybe we could just go track down that one guy. Should be easy enough. Most of the people in that stupid book of yours look like pussies anyway."
Kakuzu was silent for a moment, waiting for Hidan to change his mind, then he smirked.
"You mean it? We can really go get this reward?"
Hidan blushed a little as he replied,
"You seem like you really want to... plus we don't have anything else going on."
Kakuzu leaned forward and kissed Hidan on the cheek before standing up and racing towards their bedroom.
"We should be able to leave by the morning!"
And so, with short goodbyes to the only remaining members of Akatsuki, Hidan and Kakuzu went off in search of the first of many names in Kakuzu's bingo book. They got a little addicted to chasing down bounty. Well, Hidan liked it when he got to kill people, but Kakuzu mostly just liked the money, and of course being able to spend everyday with Hidan not locked up in some dark, dingy prison.
Eventually, the time slipped away from them, and at least two years had passed. They hadn't been in contact with anyone, not even Mei. They mostly travelled back roads, not venturing into major cities unless they felt a rare urge to socialize, or simply wanted creature comforts. They were content with just each other's company, though they fought a lot, and both ended up with some bruises, they knew they were the only ones they could ever be with, because they fit together perfectly.
It was the beginning of fall, and they had just turned in a rather small criminal for a rather small amount of money. They both wanted something bigger, more exciting. As Kakuzu browsed the bingo book he finally found someone worthy of their skills to find and capture. He was a monk, living in a temple high in the mountains, and apparently quite strong. Hidan instantly agreed to going to find him, though he was less enthusiastic when Kakuzu told him they would need to walk the entire way up the mountain.
"But why the fuck do we have to walk? There has to be some kinda car that goes that far up! Off-road or something!" Hidan complained as they started their trek upwards.
"Too expensive." Kakuzu replied as he strode a few yards ahead of the loud Jashinist.
"You're such a cheap-ass." Hidan groaned as he jogged a little to catch up.
Kakuzu just smiled and grabbed a hold of Hidan's hand to pull him forwards up the incline. He didn't let go of the hand until they stopped for lunch at a tiny roadside vender that seemed to only sell hot-cakes.
As they sat drinking warm beer and eating a hot pancake, Hidan noticed the owner, a large round woman with high cheekbones, giving him a searching look. He didn't find it too strange, since people often looked at both him and Kakuzu oddly. Not only was he pale as snow but he was traveling with a guy who had nearly his entire body covered with clothes. The only thing Hidan found particularly weird was that the look this woman was giving him wasn't frightened or curious, she just looked confused.
Just as he gave an exasperated sigh, she spoke up loudly,
"You look familiar."
Hidan had a surprised expression on his face as he looked up from his drink. Kakuzu glanced over as well, wondering how Hidan knew the woman.
"Me? How the fuck do I look familiar?" Hidan asked, trying to figure out if his vulgarity would scare her away like it did to most of the others.
She just laughed.
"She liked to use words like that too! You look just like a girl who came by here just the other day. Pale hair, tan skin, real pretty, tiny scar under her-"
"Left eye?" Hidan exclaimed. Kakuzu placed the book he was reading in his pocket and asked,
"When was she here?"
The woman, who seemed happy with herself, replied,
"I knew you were related. She was here just the other day with some weird friends. A very nice looking boy and two strange twins. I'm sure you know them too though, right?"
"Mei!" Hidan yelled as he turned to Kakuzu. "Mei was here!"
"I heard." Kakuzu replied. He then stood up, placed a bit of money for their food on the counter, then smiled under his mask and said, "Well, let's go find her."
Hidan was nearly running up the dusty dirt road now, a determined hop in his step. Kakuzu lagged behind a little, enjoying the scenery and watching Hidan act like a child.
"Mei, Kakuzu!" Hidan exclaimed, "Mei is here! When was the last time we saw her? It had to be at least ten fucking years ago!"
"It's only been two, moron." Kakuzu replied. "She won't even be 18 yet."
"Shut up!" Hidan said smartly, "The point is, she's our daughter and we need to make sure she's ok! We don't even know what she's been doing all this time!"
Hidan slowed down a little to get in pace with Kakuzu who scowled and muttered,
"I'm more worried about what those others have been doing this whole time. She's been with three guys, alone. Orochi was always creepy and the twins loved her. Who knows what they could have done to her. Taken advantage of our poor little girl. I'll kill them."
Hidan chuckled. "You sound like an overprotective father. Don't worry. I taught her self defense and everything."
"Excuse me if I don't trust the self defense lessons taught by someone who was raped their first night in jail."
"HEY!" Hidan yelled, punching Kakuzu in the arm only to hurt his own hand. "That was four fucking grown men and weren't YOU the one who sent them on me in the first place?"
"I'm sorry." Kakuzu said with a soft smile. "If there is one thing I regret, it's that. Your virginity wasn't even taken by me. I still feel bad about it."
"Well you should." Hidan pouted.
Kakuzu looked up towards the sky then said,
"I know Mei is strong and all, but she has three guys traveling with her. She wouldn't stand a chance."
"If they raped her she wouldn't still be with them. She would've come crying home to us." Hidan shrugged. "And that old lady described the Shark Twins and the Clone perfectly so she's still with them."
"But what if that Orochi used some sort of mind trick to get her to do it. Like he guilted her or something."
"Well then you can just kill him." Hidan nodded. "No big d-"
"DAD! DADDY!"
Both Hidan and Kakuzu turned around in a flash to see an almost full grown Mei running towards them from a little ways down the mountain, tears gleaming in her eyes. Kakuzu and Hidan exchanged an excited smile before running down to meet her.
When they collided, it was just one giant three-way hug that left Mei's bones nearly crushed from the combined strength of her fathers. When they finally broke apart Mei asked loudly,
"How did you guys hear about it?"
Both Hidan and Kakuzu gave her confused looks. She tilted her head and asked,
"The Akatsuki meet up? At the hot-spring in the mountains? I know no one's been able to get in contact with you guys(by the way you need to get a cell phone!), but if you're here you must have heard of it somewhere!"
Kakuzu laughed. "We haven't heard anything from anyone. We just heard that you were on this mountain from an old woman in side of the road hot-cake stall. Does that mean everyone else if here too? All of Akatsuki?"
"Yup." Mei smiled. "Even Uncles Naruto and Sasuke. They brought their son too. Seems like they caught up with Kabuto and got him to make some more of his stuff. And Deidara's pregnant. Konan too, I think this is her 7th kid! You guys are so out of the loop! You'll never believe about Tobi!"
She seemed like she was going to go on talking for a while but Kakuzu cut in and stopped her, pointing behind her and asking,
"So, which one are you with?"
Mei turned around, confused. A few yards down the road, Aki and Ueno were bickering and Orochi was examining a flower. When she turned back she was scowling. Kakuzu just looked down at her firmly.
"We know those twins have been in love with you forever. So which one are you with? Don't tell me you're doing both of them!" Hidan shrieked.
Now Mei just laughed. "Aki and Ueno? Are you kidding me? Those two are so busy fucking each other they barely have time to breath anymore!"
"So you ended up with Orochi, then." Kakuzu murmured darkly. "Give it to me gently, when did you lose it?"
Mei gave him a confused look. Hidan gave an exasperated sigh.
"Lose it? Your V-card? When were you deflowered? When did you have sex with him!?"
Mei was a bit taken aback but then she laughed a little as she gave both of her parents an amused smile.
"I'm still a virgin. Orochi and I are waiting until we're married."
There was a thick silence that followed. Both Hidan and Kakuzu were waiting for her to tell them she was kidding, but that never came. She just continued to smile at them with laughter hidden behind her magenta eyes. Finally, Kakuzu turned to Hidan and said breathlessly,
"Hidan, I think i've just started to believe in God."
After both Mei and Hidan finally stopped laughing, she took them both up one of the side roads of the mountain until they came to the entrance of a luxurious, japanese-style bathhouse, complete with lanterns that were just being lit along the pathway inside. As soon as their group walked in the front door, the whole room all but exploded.
"MEI! YOU FOUND HIDAN AND KAKUZU! THEY'VE BEEN MISSING FOR AT LEAST A YEAR! HOW'D YOU DO IT!?" Kisame asked loudly as he smacked Kakuzu across the back, glad to see his old friend again.
"Luck led them to the right place at the right time." She replied with a smile.
After reconnecting with everyone, and even meeting some of the new additions, all of Akatsuki went out back to eat dinner. They had to bring two long tables together so everyone had a place to sit, and even then the youngest kids had to sit at the kiddy table. During dinner they reminisced about the way they all came together under the roof of a prison. They had a toast to Itachi, where Naruto and Sasuke had to leave afterwards, though by them not returning later, everyone just assumed Sasuke wasn't too depressed. Halfway through dinner Hidan leaned to Mei and whispered,
"Who's the bishie next to Zetsu down there?"
Mei just giggled then muttered under her breath, "That's Tobi... Well, Madara now..."
Hidan's eyes shot wide open and so did Kakuzu's who had listened in as well. The Jashinist stood up at the table, pointed to Madara and shouted,
"TOBI!?"
The man, who had long, pitch black hair and red eyes, turned upon Hidan with moderate surprise. Then he just smiled and said,
"Actually it's Madara, Uchiha Madara. Enough time has passed now that I can go back to being the real me."
Zetsu laughed as Hidan just gaped at them in complete and utter confusion. Kakuzu turned on the cannibal and asked,
"You knew the whole time, didn't you?"
Zetsu just smirked and replied, "There's a lot of stuff I knew the whole time that you guys had no clue of."
The table laughed and returned to their lighthearted eating while Hidan continued to reel from all the new information he was receiving. He was only snapped out of his own thoughts when he heard Suigetsu tell Kakuzu,
"You don't even know what our kids have been doing all this time, do you? They've been pursuing a line of work to really make us proud!"
Mei, Aki and Ueno, and Orochi just laughed. Hidan asked swiftly, "What have you been doing?"
"We're top-class con-artists." Mei replied with a conniving smile.
"Con artist?" Kakuzu asked as he became suddenly very interested. "What exactly do you do?"
"Orochi comes up with the plan, Aki is in charge of tech and explosives, Ueno handles set and clothing design, and I'm the front girl. Usually. Sometimes we use Aki and Ueno's twin-ness to our advantage. It's really a whole group operation. Couldn't do it alone." Mei explained.
"What's the point of a con though?"
Mei laughed. "The money of course, or something we want. Though we usually blow it right after we get a big score. I'm surprised you haven't heard anything about us, Daddy? We're even in the bingo book. A reward and everything."
"No you aren't." Kakuzu said firmly. "I look through that thing everyday, I would know if you were in it."
Mei just rolled her eyes. "Daddy, you really need a new bingo book. I'm surprised you've been able to use that one for so long."
"I've got one, Mei." Orochi said as he handed her a new bingo book. She smiled at him before handing it to Kakuzu who took it greedily.
As Kakuzu began looking through his new favorite book, Hidan's mouth fell open and he remained speechless for a few minutes. Finally Mei noticed he was starting at her and she asked,
"Dad, what's wrong?"
He just mumbled, "Y- you- your finger!"
Kakuzu tore his eyes away from the book just as Mei raised the hand Hidan was referring to. Her whole hand was even more covered with scars and marks than it had been when she was younger, but that wasn't what surprised them. On one finger in particular she had a huge, dazzling diamond, as big as a large acorn, resting gently on a nice, silver band. Mei blushed.
"Oh, I didn't tell you? I'm getting married tomorrow! That's why I was so glad I found you!"
"MARRIED!?" Both Hidan and Kakuzu shouted at the same time.
Mei just smiled. "I hope you can both give me away!"
Later on that night, after Mei had finally gotten both of her fathers to calm down, all the Akatsuki members had retired to their rooms, exhausted from a long, exciting day.
Kakuzu was still looking through his new bingo book when he came across an interesting page. He laughed then called Hidan over to see why he was laughing. On the page was a picture of Mei, and under that, one of Orochi. On the opposite page was Aki and Ueno. The description under their pictures said,
"The Children Of Kure-Ji-Kira, or so they have called themselves, are a group of young con-artists, most known and wanted for the theft of the Millennium Diamond, the worlds most famous jewel."
Under that it showed their price. Kakuzu and Hidan exchanged a glance and then they seemed to read each other's minds, for they were both thinking the same thing. They were the proudest parents ever.
"You know if Mei gets married tomorrow, that means she's going to have sex tomorrow too." Kakuzu muttered darkly.
Hidan sighed. "Maybe we'll be alive to see our grandkids then."
This cheered Kakuzu up greatly, though not as much as when he glanced down at the page in the bingo book once more and saw that all four kids had signed their names next to their photo's.
Hidan stretched then stood up to go look around outside. They had gotten a nice room, compliment of Mei and Orochi, since Kakuzu would never waist money on a private spa. The more Hidan looked at the clear water the more he wanted to get in until finally he shed his clothes and slipped into the pool. He swam around a little bit before calling out,
"Oi Kakuzu! Get your ass out here! It's boring with just me!"
"I'll be there in a second." came the reply from inside.
Hidan smiled contentedly. He then noticed a ledge on the side of the pool and went over to it. There were a few towels, a scrub, and a few different soaps. He picked one up out of curiosity and sniffed it, noticing it smelled like lavender.
"Hidan, be careful..." Kakuzu interrupted him smoothly. Hidan turned around to see clever green eyes staring down at him hungrily. As he stepped into the warm water, Kakuzu finished in a darkly seductive voice,
"...you never know what might happen to you if you drop the soap."
The End.
So, that is the end. I know you are sad and what-not but this really was the perfect ending. And cheer up! I'll write more... someday. I'm addicted to fanfiction by now, there's just nothing I can do. XD
OK! I HAVE SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT I NEED TO ASK! I would appreciate if you would review and give me an answer as well!
I... am moving to Florida. I don't want to, but that's just what's happening. Problem is, I don't know ANYONE in Florida. NO ONE. Sooooo... I was wondering if there were any of you who have read this story that just happen to live in Florida?
Because that way, I know I would automatically like you because you are a KakuHidan fangirl and we could be best buddies! And I wouldn't be lonely in my new home!
So, please tell me. Please. Don't leave me all alone in that silly, humid place.
Thanks! Thanks for everything!
See you soon!
KeikoPanda102
