Away From Home

Chapter Twenty-Five

By Andruindel

lilililili

I was all anxiety the next morning. Even after spending a surprisingly uncomfortable night on Matsuda's couch, and getting no more than four hours of sleep, I was in a very good mood. One of the two main reasons I had been unable to sleep was because my mind was filled with thoughts of L. Matsuda thought L liked me. Just the thought sent blood rushing to my cheeks, and made my heart-rate accelerate. The second reason was because the couch was uncomfortable, despite the blankets and pillows Matsuda had given me in an attempt to insure I spent the night comfortably.

I could not wait to get back to the hotel and speak to L.

Instead of the romantic scene I'd been imagining all night, what I really got was a hurried drive from Matsuda's apartment, because we were running late. And by the time we got to the hotel, L was already hard at work. He gave me a greeting in passing, and nothing more. Disappointed, I exscused myself, took a long, hot shower, and then put on the most comfortable outfit I had: a baggy t-shirt and jeans. Actually, the shirt wasn't mine. I stole one of L's, knowing he wouldn't take enough notice of me to care.

When I returned to the work room, now bright and sunny because the thick curtains were open, I found L hard at work examining evidence. I glanced around once, and then took a seat between Matsuda and Aizawa. Matsuda glanced at me, and smiled reassuringly. I just barely managed a rueful smile, and then I sighed, curling my knees up to my chest, and leaning my head against Matsuda's shoulder.

L made thoughtful little 'hmm-ing' noises as he examined the evidence. Again, I managed a ghost of a smile as I watched him.

Finally, L spoke, still looking at the little plastic bags. "Mr. Yagami. If I die in the next few days, your son is Kira." The claim came out of no where, followed by a thoughtful "Hm, another hair," Which was obviously only L talking to himself.

Mr. Yagami was outraged. He stood, staring at L. "What did you just say, Ryuuzaki?"

"Exactly," Matsuda jumped in. I wanted to hit him, and talk some sense into him. His loyalty toward Light seemed to have absolutely no foundation. "What are you talking about?"

The three men all stood, staring at L. I remained where I was, knees drawn up to my chest, chin resting on my knees. I squeezed my eyes shut, and put my hands over my ears, not wanting to hear anything that was being said, and yet too afraid to uncover my ears long enough to get up and flee the room. I was in denial, I knew it. L was talking about his death, as though he couldn't have cared less whether he died in the next few days or not. I hated it.

I didn't open my eyes again until Matsuda rested his hand on the top of my head. "Amy? Are you alright?"

I made up a lie on the spot. "I don't like it when people raise their voices," It was the first thing that popped into my head, but as I said it, I stared at L. He was still calmly looked at the evidence, picking up bag after little plastic bag, looking at each for a few seconds, and then replacing them on the table. I had no idea what he had in mind. But right then, at that moment, I resolved to talk to L that night, even if I had to stay up all night to find the oppurtunity.

lilili

My spirit was willing, but my flesh was weak. After only four hours of sleep the previous night, and an exhausting day of watching L and the other men work, I only lasted until a little after ten at night, which was right before Matsuda and Aizawa left. More than an hour before I had stretched out on the couch, deteremined to rest, but not to fall asleep. Yeah, good luck with that one, Amy.

I was awake again before I'd even realized I had been asleep. And I woke with a scream fighting its way out of my throat. My awakening must have been violent, or sudden, because L looked up from his hunched position, staring at me with a curious expression on his face.

"Amy-chan?"

"L," I had no time for tears; the dream I'd just woken from was still clear, but fading fast. "L, you can't die."

Something in my voice, or eyes, must have alerted him to the urgency of the situation. He unfolded himself from his usual position, stood, and moved to the couch to sit beside me. I watched him, willing him to understand.

"What do you mean?"

I swallowed hard. "You can't die, L. And you can't just talk about dying like it's nothing. Because it wouldn't be nothing. I would miss you, Matsuda would miss you. And if you die, then there will be no one to stop Kira."

"Now, that's not neccessarily true," He put his thumb to his mouth, thoughtful once again.

I disgreegarded his words. "Please, L, promise me you won't die."

"This means a lot to you...?" It wasn't supposed to be a question, I didn't think. But it came out as one.

I nodded, tears finally springing into my eyes, and threatening to choke me. "Uh huh..."

"Why?"

The one word hung in the air for a full minute. L never took his eyes from my face, but I had to look away. I considered; thoughts rushed madly through my head. To this day I will never be able to repeat any of those thoughts.

"Because I think I love you..."

lilili

L was pretending to read. But he wasn't really seeing the words. His thoughts were whirling. Amy. Kira. His impending death. The previous night... He needed to concentrate. He needed his wits about him at the moment. He needed to outsmart Light once and for all. But he couldn't help it. He allowed himself to go over the events of the previous night one last time. Outwardly, he was calm; he sat in his usual position on a bench in the shade, holding a book in the only way that was comfortable for him. The sandals he had put on earlier were lying unwanted on the ground underneath the bench. And as he pretended to read, but really allowed his thoughts to wander, a tiny smile touched his lips.

"Because I think I love you..."

He was shocked. His eyes went wide, and he immediately began gnawing earnestly on his thumb nail, staring. Staring at Amy. He didn't know what to think. He knew what he wanted to think; and he could see what Amy wanted him to think. But for once his reasoning abilities seemed to have left him.

"I..." What was he supposed to say? 'I think I love you too?' or 'I'm certainly fond of you too, Amy-chan'. Or maybe 'But I'm too old for you.' Possibly even 'Are you sure you don't prefer Matsuda-san?' Each choice seemed to have a certain appeal to it. But as he stared at Amy, and saw her confidence beginning to sway, he made a choice, and said something he hadn't thought of.

"You do...?"

He could see Amy's eyes shining with the truth as she confirmed her statement. "Yes... I, I think I do." She sounded uncertain, and suddenly she was shy of looking him in the eye. Or maybe it was he who was avoiding meeting her gaze fully. He couldn't be sure.

Then he said something stupid. "Are you sure?"

He knew immediatly that it was the wrong thing to say. Amy drew back, concern in her eyes now. She was so easy to read, especially when she got worked up. "I'm sorry, Amy-chan. Forget I said that."

She said nothing, merely stared at him. She seemed to be waiting for him to say something. But what?

"So..." Finally, Amy seemed to decide to take the lead. "What happens next?" Or not. L was left with the impossible task of deciding what happened next. The problem was, he didn't know what he wanted to happen next.

"I... I don't know." He answered, truthfully enough.

For a long minute he stared into Amy's eyes, seeing a world of emotion behind them. But after a minute, she yawned, apparently surprised by the display of exhaustion. "You should go to bed, Amy-chan." Before she could protest, he caught one of her hands in his, gazing earnestly at her. "We will talk about this. I promise." After that, she went willingly to bed.

L sighed. Then his attention was caught by Light as he approached. Enough of his distractions, for now. Later, he would be faced with the task of having 'the talk' as some called it, with Amy. Now, he needed to play the game he and Light were so painfully consumed by.

lilili

I slept fitfully, at best, but my dreams were pleasant. I was severely disappointed to find that when I woke, L was no where to be found. Dispireted, I sat down, alone, in the work room. As a result of my fitful slumber, and restless thoughts, I'd woken far earlier than usual. And so I was alone until Chief Yagami showed up, followed by Matsuda, and only then did I find out that L had gone to the college. After my initial fright, I began to recall the events of the episode I was currently experiencing. Unless I was mitaken, Misa would be taken into custody by this afternoon, and that meant all L's attention would go to watching her and Light. How long had it taken, fifty days?

I dreaded that time.

As I suspected, there was no talk with L that night. In fact, I was banished to my room, rather abruptly, the instant L returned to the hotel. Feeling undoubtedly depressed, and with an ache in my chest, I fell into bed and cried myself to sleep, cuddling Panda, the closest thing to a human I had to cuddle, and cursing Light for his interference in my relationship with L.

lilililili

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Hey, y'all. It's a new update, in case you couldn't see. Hum.. this author's note isn't going to be too terribly long, or coherent, because I'm currently half asleep. So lemme just say thanks for reading, thank you to my long-time readers for not giving up hope on this story, and please don't forget to review! Reviews keep me writing! Expect an update in a week!