Jake heard distantly cries of a baby and the crackling of a camp fire. He wondered lethargically whose it could be. There was no sound of a parent consoling it, but then Jake got an alarming thought:

'Oh slaps, what if I'm the parent? How long have I been asleep? Wow, did I really sleep through my corndogs being born? Geez, I'm lazier than I thought- I hope Lady won't be mad.

'Oh no! Lady! I don't hear her! Is she ok?'

Jake tried to shout out to her, but realized he did not have enough strength to speak. He drifted in and out of levels of consciousness, trying to will himself to get up. A few times he thought he had gotten up and ran to find Lady, but then realized minutes later when he was back in the exact same position that he was just dreaming. It exhausted his mind just to think about getting up, and he felt like his heart should be pounding. Then, when he listened to his heartbeat, he noticed that he could barely feel it. If someone tried to take his pulse they'd probably think he was dead.

Jake then started to wonder if he was dying. He started to relax himself and prepare to enter the circle of life, but then that globbin' baby started crying again.

'Dang. I can't die yet or else that loud little meatball will die, too! Wow, I could use some meatballs right now.'

Jake was unsure how long he had to wait for the strength to return to his body, or how long the baby cried while waiting for him. Little by little, his heart rate strengthened and he began to be able to move. First his paws, then his legs, and eventually he was able to lift his eyelids, which felt as heavy as bricks.

Above him were flickering shadows of the fire and hundreds of ice sickles dripping from the ceiling. He sat up slowly, almost falling on his face from dizziness. He swayed unsteadily as he stood and stumbled under one of the ice sickles to let the water drip into his mouth. Then his ears perked up as he heard the crying again. He blinked his eyes blearily and scanned the room. The room kind of stank like boom-boom.

Finally, he saw it. Curled up in the corner and covered in boom-boom was what looked to be a human baby. He walked over to the creature unsurely, wondering if he was still dreaming.

"Um, Finn?" he asked, poking the pink infants doughy flesh, "Did you have, like, a baby curse put on you? A stinky baby curse?"

The baby rolled over onto its back and reached up towards Jake. He looked down as it squirmed naked and stumbled back, "Whoa dude, what happened to your, um...you got a stinky baby curse that turned you into a girl?"

Jake picked the gross baby up gingerly. Written in familiar, scratchy handwriting across her chest was the name "FIONNA."

"You're not Finn," whispered Jake in shock. The little girl squalled weakly and shivered. Jake kissed her forehead quickly and created a kangaroo pouch in his belly to put her in. Jake marched out of the cave and grew to the size of a skyscraper to see his surroundings. He could see the candy kingdom just barely on the horizon, and could smell the embers of the fire kingdom a few miles in the opposite direction. The Ice Kingdom was right behind them, but the baby was already cold, so he didn't want to go there.

Jake peeked in his belly to see the infant snuggling into his fur. "I guess we'll just have to find food in the forest, chica! I know where a great pool is, too. You need a bath more than anyone I've ever met!"

After an hour of searching, Jake found some fresh berries, mushrooms, and some slabs of meat given to him by a meat woman. Jake didn't even know that there were any meat women, but he wasn't about to question a good thing. Finding the pond seemed to take forever. It didn't seem to look quite like he remembered it or be where it usually was. Actually, everything seemed a little bit off, and Jake still partially wondered if he was in some crazy dream.

Jake set the food aside and placed the baby buns in the pond. She splashed wildly with delight and smiled up at him. Jake chuckled a little bit and sang as he washed her:

"Hey there, little sudsy puppy,

Time to be a little water guppy!

Gonna get you all squeaky clean,

So that when mama smells you she doesn't scream!"

She smiled and giggled as he sang, reaching up to grab his jowls and pull them.

"Whoa there, lady! Watch the bread and butter!" Jake said as he pried her tiny fingers from his face. "You know, you're pretty cute when you're not nasty. You look a lot like Finn did in his baby pictures."

She just played with her toes, making little cooing noises. Jake wondered if all humans looked alike when they were babies. Even her hair was the same color, although she didn't have very much of it. He couldn't wait to see Finn's reaction when he found out Jake found another one of his kind.

After they were both clean and fed, Jake was exhausted again. Fionna seemed to feel the same way, since her head was nodding off as he was feeding her. His muscles felt like he hadn't moved them in ages.

As he laid on the grass to rest, with Fionna's gentle breathing drifting off to sleep on his chest, his mind started to play funny tricks on him.

Vivid images flashed in his head. A bomb. Himself turning into the Lich. A weird, multi-dimensional man in a time room. Finn in the Ice King's crown, rapidly losing his mind.

Jake bolted up from sleep so suddenly, that Fionna startled and began crying. He looked down at her. He could suddenly feel that something was very wrong. This looked like the home he was used to, but it wasn't- somehow he could tell. He struggled to put the meaning together for the images that flashed through his head, but they were rapidly slipping out of his mind already. Jake looked at the spires of the candy castle in the distance and sighed, blowing up to a gigantic size that would make the journey much less steps. Fionna looked up at him curiously.

He stretched some of his back skin into the shape of a cozy basinet and set the baby in there. "I'm sorry, babe, I know you're tired. I gotta find Finn, though. Something is just off."

As he walked, he saw a cute little elephant working in a pumpkin patch.

"Oh, thank glob it's you, Tree Trunks!" shouted Jake as he shrunk down, "PLEASE say you got some apple pie for my belly! I have had such a funky day!"

Tree Trunks turned and gave a scream that made her sound like an old man. The little creature then jumped into the bushes.

"Umm, Tree Trunks? You got a cold or something?"

"How do you know my name, magic dog?" the bush said timidly.

"It's Jake! Are you getting all forgetful? Also, why do you sound like a dude?"

The elephant marched out of the bush and glared at Jake, "I am a dude!" Jake's mouth fell open as he saw that Tree Trunks had a thick, gray mustache, a hat, and a bow tie.

"Uhhh…" trailed off Jake.

The little pachyderm glared at Jake, but his eyes lighted up when he saw the Jake-skin cradle with the sleeping baby in it.

"Y'all look exhausted;" he said in that same thick, kind southern accent lady Tree Trunks had, "want to come to my house for some coffee and we can talk?"

"Well, yeah we can do that. First, do you know a kid named Finn? He's pretty easy to spot- human kid with a bear hat?"

"Finn?" said Tree Trunks thoughtfully. "I'm sorry, my friend. I heard the last pure bred humans lived 1000 years ago. Not even I'm that old!" He chuckled softly.

"What?" said Jake, exasperated. "You're gettin' senile, dude! I just saw a bunch yesterday!"

"You did? My goodness, boy, where?"

"Well, they were all over the place! And a huge bomb went off that killed everyone! And-and, umm, I made a wish in this cube-and- um, sandwich-and…" Jake trailed off, realizing he was suddenly remembering more and he was starting to sound like he was from crazy town.

Tree Trunks, looking concerned, wordlessly led Jake in his house to sit down. Jake's eyes were glazed over with shock.

The last time he saw Finn was 1000 years ago. He could tell the elephant man was right- there were no signs of a bomb destroying the earth just yesterday, and no signs of humans, either. If Finn wasn't long dead by now, he would definitely not be who he was when Jake knew him. Lady, and Jake's future puppies. Bubblegum. Marceline. Beemo. President Porpoise. He wasn't sure if any of them existed anymore.

He didn't even know if he was real any more.

Author's note: Sorry if this chapter was a little slower than the previous ones. I just felt I needed a little time for Jake to adjust to the craziness that is multi-universe travel and sleeping 1000 years. The crazy stuff is going to pick up very much in the following chapters, though!