Another chapter bought to you courtesy of free periods at school, and homework that still hasn't been done...
but anyway, i hope you find this chapter enjoyable, writing it was very amusing, so hopefully you will find it likewise. i think all the people in the library think i'm weird now, i was smiling so much :).
thanks, BlueBB
"Take one more step, and I'm going to tear you apart," Tobi stopped dead in his tracks, his arms raised holding a huge bucket of freezing cold water. Sitting on the porch steps in front of him was Kisame.
"Aw man, but Tobi got so close," Tobi whined, his planned foiled by kisame's acute awareness.
Kisame growled, making Tobi run back inside the house before Kisame really could tear him apart.
"Kisame's no fun, Tobi only wanted some entertainment, it's so boring around here," Tobi said as he placed the bucket of water in the sink.
"Then find something to do, mm," Deidara told him from his place at the dinning room table.
Tobi grumbled something about that's what he was doing and went outside. It was the day after we had found Kakuzu and surprisingly he had settled in quite well. Although he was still suspicious of Emily and I because we knew about Akatsuki.
As soon as Tobi was outside Deidara leapt up and grabbed the bucket of water, quickly pursuing him. I sighed, thinking of the mayhem that would quickly follow.
Outside Kisame was still sitting on the steps, talking to Kakuzu who was standing at the bottom of them. Tobi was already waking across the lawn, making a bee line for the trampoline. Deidara, being Deidara, tried to sneak outside as quietly as possible, watching Tobi's every move.
Unfortunately he wasn't watching his feet, and didn't see the light blue hand about to trip him until it was too late. Kisame burst out laughing as Deidara went tumbling down the stairs, landing in a heap at the bottom. The bucket of ice cold water that had been in Deidara's grip had flown through the air and its contents had splashed all over Kakuzu.
I prepared for war.
Deidara lifted himself up; dazed at what had just occurred, looking up at Kakuzu he froze in horror. Kakuzu hadn't moved but black rage had clouded his eyes. Before Deidara had even realised how much shit he was in a tentacle shot out straight at him, grabbing him by the front of the shirt and lifting him into the air.
Kisame, trying to contain his laughter, dashed inside and hid behind me, knowing he was to blame as well.
The tentacles holding Deidara tightened as he tried to explain what happened.
"Nothing will save you now," Kakuzu growled at him, a puddle forming at his feet from the icy water. I'd have to admit, it was a pretty funny scene, the only problem was that Kakuzu was deadly serious.
"Kakuzu, what are you doing?" konan asked as she entered the kitchen, looking outside to the commotion. Seeing the puddle of water, the empty bucket and Kisame hiding behind me she seemed to put two and two together. "Drop him, it's not worth it, and plus leader wouldn't be pleased." Konan ordered him, using her authority. Man I wish I had that sort control over these guys; it would make things so much easier.
Kakuzu muttered something that went along the lines of leader not being here and reluctantly dropped Deidara. "Count yourself lucky someone was here to save you," he told Deidara before turning away.
Standing up Deidara looked back at Konan, "Hey thanks, but maybe next time you should order him to get the real culprit, mm," he said, trying to spot Kisame.
"Hey you're the one that tripped not me," Kisame said as Konan replied, "There won't a next time though, will there?"
"No, mm," Deidara muttered while glaring at Kisame.
"Good, now go do something that doesn't involve making people angry," Konan told Deidara, sending him away.
As he slouched upstairs konan turned on Kisame. "You idiot, next time I hope it's you in Kakuzu's grip, and then maybe you'll think twice." She scowled at him.
Kisame shrugged it off, "But there won't be a next time will there," he said mockingly, echoing Konan's words.
Konan growled at him, "There better not be."
With one last smirk Kisame went into the lounge room, I think it was lucky that he did because Konan didn't look too happy.
"How on earth do you keep your patience around them?" I asked, slightly amazed that she hadn't just exploded with anger.
She sighed, "Its takes a lot of practice, and usually Pein, but unfortunately we haven't found him yet."
"Any ideas on what he would be doing?" I asked hopefully, Konan would know better out of anyone.
"No, but my guess is that he's probably trying to find us, and I doubt he would make a lot of noise like some of the others did, so it's going to be harder to find him." She replied, diminishing my hopes.
"Dam," I muttered, I'd really hoped that at least one of them would be easy to find.
"Hey Crissy, guess what, guess what?" Emily asked me as she came bounding down the stairs.
"What?"
"No you have to guess," she told me with sparking eyes.
I hated it when she did this, because the 'what' usually turned into something bad. "Um did you get a letter from Santa clause?"
"No, there's no such thing as Santa clause." She said laughing.
"What! What do you mean there's no such thing as Santa!" Tobi's high pitched voice came from the door. Uh oh.
Konan face palmed and muttered out the corner of her mouth, "He still believes in Santa," to Emily's confused face.
"But Santa is real, Tobi has seen him!" Tobi's voice became desperate.
"Uh um, what I meant Tobi is that um, Santa is on vacation in our world and that um, the elves are taking his place until he gets back." Emily stuttered, racking her brain for anything to fix what she had done.
"Santa's on vacation?" Tobi asked.
"Yeah, well do don't expect him to never have a holiday when he works so hard all year every year."
"Oh, Tobi never thought of that, well Tobi's glad that Santa is taking a holiday, as long as he still comes at Christmas time." Tobi laughed as we all breathed a sigh of relief.
Thinking about Christmas I realised in shock that it actually wasn't that far away. "Hey Christmas is soon isn't it?" Emily asked, echoing my thoughts.
"Yeah, it's only about two weeks away." I said, realising that I hadn't even thought about presents yet.
"Yay Christmas!" Tobi shouted, running back outside, almost tripping over Kakuzu who was sitting back down on the stairs.
"So how have you guys kept up the pretence of Christmas in your world?" I asked, curious at how they did it, also trying to get ideas for what to do this year.
"Well none of the guys like doing it, but since leader orders them to they go along with it." She said, a slightly troubled look coming over her features.
"Yeah, but what do you do?" Emily asked, also intrigued.
"Well, um," I'd never ever seen Konan uncomfortable before, it only increased my curiosity. "Well one of the guys has to, uh, dress up as Santa, and the other has to dress up as a, as a reindeer." She said, not meeting our eyes.
There was a moment of silence in which Emily and I took this in. Then we burst out laughing, the Akatsuki dressing up as Santa? That was just the funniest things I'd ever imagined.
I don't think Konan liked being laughed at, a scowl formed on her face and she went to turn away.
"Hey wait," I said, trying to unsuccessfully hold back laughter.
"Who does it each year?" I had to know, whoever it was wasn't going to hear the end of it.
"We take it in turns each year; we do it with our partner." She said, looking ever so slightly embarrassed.
"How do you keep it from Tobi?" Emily asked.
"We say that something has come up, a mission, and that whoever's turn it is that year has to do it." She explained.
"Who did it last year?" I asked the images of Hidan and Kakuzu in costumes filling my head, it bought about another wave of laughter.
"Deidara and Zetsu did it last year."
"Who's turn is it this year?" Emily asked, mischief lighting up her face.
"It's Itachi's and Kisame's turn this year." She replied.
This was just too much for both of us, Konan walked away in a huff as Emily and I fell to the ground in laughter.
"Hey shut up!" Kisame roared from the lounge room. Unfortunately this only made us laugh harder.
We finally managed to control ourselves, but that didn't mean we could completely stop the giggles that arose every so often.
Making our way to the lounge room, Emily and I started using the bait we had just acquired.
"Hey Kisame," Emily said, as we sat down either side of him.
His suspicious look was enough to let us know that he knew we were up to something.
"What?" he asked.
"We just found out some very interesting information," Emily started, a grin forming on her face. At that moment Itachi walked into the room and sat down on the other sofa, perfect.
I went and sat next to him, I couldn't help but grin as the image of Itachi dressed as Santa Clause popped into my mind.
Itachi gave me a strange look, "What do you want?" this only made my grin widen.
"Are you looking forward to Christmas this year?" I asked him, also looking at Kisame to see his reaction. Both of them narrowed their eyes slightly, they knew what I was talking about.
"It's only in two more weeks," Emily stated. Kisame seemed shocked at this news, his eyes went wide and he looked at Itachi. Itachi on the other hand hadn't even flinched.
"And your point is?" he asked, daring us to state that which would probably get us killed.
"Well we were just saying how we can't wait, because, you know, Santa will be there as well," I said. Itachi's eyes narrowed even further and they turned a dangerous dark red, I just laughed in response. Kisame growled but was cut off when Tobi made his star appearance.
"What! You mean that Santa is going to be at Christmas?" he asked in a delighted voice. "So Santa's coming back from vacation?"
"Yep, and he's even going to stop by to say hello to his most favourite person in the whole wide world." Emily told Tobi.
"Yay! Tobi loves Santa, and is his reindeer going to be there as well?"
"Of course, what's Santa without his reindeer." I said, trying extremely hard not to laugh.
"Yay, now Tobi gets to spend Christmas with all his knew friends!" He yelled out, flinging his arms into the air.
A smile crept across Kisame's face, and in this situation I knew it meant trouble. "Hey Tobi, guess who else is going to be with Santa?"
"Who," Tobi was eager to know.
"Mrs Clause, Santa' wife," Kisame said, sliding in a glare at me. Oh shit.
"Really? Tobi's never seen Santa's wife before what does she look like?" he asked.
"Well she has blonde shoulder length hair, blue eyes and is about this tall," he said holding his hand up to show her height. Unfortunately that's how tall I was, and they were my features he was describing. Little shit.
"Wow Tobi can't wait to meet her! She sounds really pretty," he said in delight.
"Why don't you go tell everyone the great news," Kisame suggested.
"What a good idea!" Tobi said before rushing off.
Kisame chuckled and looked back at me. I sat fuming on the couch, not moving a muscle, he had gone too far.
His smile deepened into a smirk and that was all it took. If it wasn't for annoying ninja reaction times and their fast thinking, I would have been tearing Kisame to shreds, but as it were Itachi was too fast. Dam him.
"Let me go you piece of shit, I'm going to tear him apart." I yelled, struggling in Itachi's grip, he had both of my arms pinned behind me and was not letting go.
"I think it's only fair that you got such a punishment," he said in that annoying monotone voice of his.
I growled at him and continued struggling; I wasn't giving up that easily.
Kisame was bent over double laughing, tears rolling out of his eyes. "I reckon your going to look sooo cute in your costume." Kisame managed between laughter. This only made me struggle harder against Itachi's grip.
As expected form a loving and caring cousin who had been by my side since birth, Emily also burst into laughter, unable to hold it in any longer.
"Let me go!" I yelled at Itachi, my anger reaching an all-time high.
"Not until you calm down, this is no way to handle the situation." His voice was quiet and I doubt that Kisame would have heard him, did this mean something?
Suddenly realising that what he said held a grain of brilliance within it, I stop struggling. "No way to handle the situation hmm?" every single prank and pay back I had dealt to everyone in my life rushed through my head, if I was going to get him, it had to be good, really good.
"I'm glad you understand," Itachi said. I turned around and grinned at him, and got red eyes in response.
"I guess you're still angry at me then?" I asked, unable to wipe the smile from my face.
"Lets just say you better not push your luck." He told me.
"Sure thing, but you know, I don't have any luck to push, it seems to have deserted me," I laughed, looking away before he did any funny genjutsu again. My eyes rested on Kisame who was still laughing, trying to wipe the tears from his eyes. My next move had to be planned carefully, I couldn't stuff this pay back up, not when there was so much at stake.
Every last detail had to be perfect, he wasn't getting away unscathed, not this time anyway.
Hehe, i can't wait for christmas, its going to be awesome! and also everyone will be there, so it's bound to be the craziest time of the year!
