DISLCAIMER: I OWN NOTHING OF YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!
Chapter 3
Before she could start her story, Shin Woo suggested they get comfortable, to set the "mood for story time," as he said it. The couch was too small to fit both and neither, for obvious reasons, wanted to use the bed, so they spent a few minutes laying blankets and pillows on the floor near the large window. The desk was moved so that they had room to stretch their legs and lie down. The huge comforters he retrieved from the closet earlier (originally meant for her, he admitted, in hopes of making the couch more comfortable) was used as padding so they need not lie on the hard floor. When Mi Nyu settled beneath her own blanket, propped up by large, soft pillows, she spent a few minutes gazing out the window, admiring the night sky.
She was overjoyed when Shin Woo suggested the spot: One of her biggest regrets when moving from the convent to the dorm was the lack of stars, due to the city lights dimming their illumination. It had been a regular pastime of hers to always look out at the sky before going to sleep, to ensure that the day, no matter how bad it was, could still end peacefully. With everything that's been happening, she was too tired to continue the habit, but now…now seeing the sky as it was—brimming with constellations and a full, silvery moon—it conjured up so many memories, both joyful and sad, of her childhood and adolescence, and it gave her peace, made her feel better, less nervous, about the prospect before her.
She trusts Shin Woo, she truly does, but what to say to him?
The truth, of course; she felt guilty for considering otherwise. She just hoped that when she revealed her many lies, he wouldn't be angry and start to lose faith in her.
"So, where do you want me to start?" she asked when she felt she couldn't delay any longer.
Shin Woo scratched his head, thinking. So many questions filled his mind, too many for him to know which to choose first, and some were not even related to her secret. Many of the questions he wanted—needed—answers to were about her specifically, and about her relationship with Hwang Tae Kyung; those can wait, he reluctantly decided. Now that he knew he had her trust, it seemed like he had all the time in the world to get to know Go Mi Nam—or rather, Go Mi Nyu.
Smiling widely now, he said, "Why not start at the beginning, the very beginning, how, when and why you started impersonating your brother."
Mi Nyu spent a few minutes thinking before saying, "Well, I think it all started when I met Manager Ma for the first time. He was the one who came up with the idea, after all. He came to the convent to see me—"
"Convent?" He stared at her, incredulous. "You were a nun?"
Mi Nyu blushed. "Not exactly. I was training to be a nun. In fact, I was supposed to go to Rome to take my Final Vows, but a few days before I had to leave, Manager Ma came and found me."
Shin Woo stared at her, eyebrows furrowed, thinking hard. Something—he couldn't say what exactly—was tingling at the back of his mind, a sensation as persistent as a hateful song repeating in his head much against his will and wanting, when he tried imagining My Nyu dressed up in a nun's habit. He didn't find the image so shocking; she certainly had the kind and patient temperament for such a lifestyle. But there was something there, something he couldn't name…a memory. Vague, fuzzy, almost dream-like in substance and no matter his trying he couldn't remember it completely.
He shook off this feeling when he realized Mi Nyu was talking again. He pushed the thought aside as he listened to her describe her first encounter with Manager Ma. He smiled when she explained, annoyance clear in every syllable, that when she went to pick up her place ticket of how Manager Ma trailed after her and then halted his car in front of her bike, nearly causing a collision; he laughed out loud when she admitted, with much blushing and quick defense, that she kicked and hit the man after mistaking him for a creep.
"And then I drove away, I left him there, and I never did apologize for that," she said, shameful and embarrassed for her behavior (really, what was she thinking? Certainly wasn't proper nun behavior), but it was hard not to smile with Shin Woo laughing. "And Manager Ma followed me. I didn't stop, at least, not until he called out that my brother needed me."
"What happened to your brother, by the way?" Shin Woo asked, still snickering.
"Manager Ma told me that he told my brother to get some surgery, so that he would look his best when he joined A. ," Mi Nyu explained, trying to remember all the details she'd been told on the incident. "But that doctor messed up and my brother couldn't sleep 'cause something weird was happening to his eyelids."
Shin Woo nodded in response, having a faint idea of what happened—this wouldn't be the first time he heard of a plastic surgeon messing up on a simple procedure like this. And knowing how it might look, he was trying to decide if it would be appropriate to laugh. Mi Nyu didn't notice this and continued saying, "Well, anyway, my brother needed to get this fixed but they couldn't risk anyone finding out, so he had to go the States. But my brother still needed to sign the contract—"
"So…Manager Ma asked you to dress up as your brother?" Suddenly, that tingling sensation that had been patiently gnawing at the back of his mind throughout the conversation strengthened until its pounding resonated with as much force as an elephant stampede; and then the noise erupted into something powerful, as a half-forgotten memory burst into the forefront of his mind. His eyes widened with realization.
"I remember…there was a nun, standing outside the building with all the other fangirls, that day we met Go Mi Nam for the first time. Was…was that you?" He took her silence and blushing as confirmation. "And you were the one we heard singing that day?"
Why is it so hot in this room? Mi Nyu couldn't understand why the room suddenly felt warm, and she also couldn't understand why she was having a hard time looking at Shin Woo. Why were her cheeks burning? Why was she feeling nervous? And why was her heart starting to beat loudly?
Realizing that Shin Woo was waiting for a response, she forced back the lump that mysteriously appeared in her throat and said, her voice suddenly shy, "Yes. I…I wanted to help my brother. And Manager Ma said the only way I could is if I signed the papers for Mi Nam. But—" She struggled not to fidget under Shin Woo's intense gaze (why was this making her feel uncomfortable?), "—but I didn't expect to sing in front of you. I was so scared, I actually felt faint afterwards."
"I remember. You looked petrified, like at any moment, you expected us to attack you or something," Shin Woo said, smiling as he thought back to that day in the studio, when he and the others thought they were meeting the newest member Go Mi Nam, and hearing that legendary "angel's voice" for the first time. He had been impressed, shocked and enchanted beyond measure, and now realizing that it was her voice he heard that day, it made his heart beat faster, louder, accompanied with a fluttery feeling in his stomach similar to what he used to experience when A. first performed. He used all his self-restraint to control those wild sensations. "So what happened next? If you were only supposed to sign the papers and you were to leave for Rome—"
She sighed. "Well, I thought I was only going to dress up as Mi Nam for the day, but Manager Ma said he needed me to pretend to be my brother until he recovered from surgery. It was going to take at least a month, or so he says. Could be longer. And I really didn't want to do it. I was determined to be a nun."
Why? He almost asked it out loud, but realizing it was too personal a question to ask at the moment, instead said, "So what made you change your mind?"
There was an uncomfortable pause before Mi Nyu looked away and said, "Well, I think that maybe I wasn't meant to go. I sort of…lost my ticket."
Another memory came to him, at first fuzzy and vague like bad TV static, but now bursting with bright colors and great detail; it appeared to him so suddenly he gasped. "That nun…Jeremy, Tae Kyung and I were looking for a nun at the airport…she lost her ticket…she kept running away—that was you?"
Without looking at him, she nodded. She was surprised when she heard him start laughing. She turned and raised her eyebrows in question.
It took a while before he could calm himself enough to answer. "I always…I always wondered…about that nun," he explained between breaths. Was it her or was his smile brighter than usual? "But knowing that…that it was you—" He laughed again, not unkindly. "Well, at least now I know why that nun was running away. Were you scared we'd recognize you?"
She nodded, smiling. His good humor was contagious. "Yes. And since I couldn't get my ticket back, obviously I couldn't go to Rome." She sighed, almost sadly. "I was upset, but losing the ticket did give me a chance to think about what I needed—wanted, to do next."
"Couldn't you go back to the convent?"
"Probably. But then again…" She paused. Shin Woo guessed by the furrow of her brows that she was remembering something, pleasant or not he couldn't tell. Not wanting to interrupt, he patiently waited until she spoke again. "Truthfully, I was having some doubts about becoming a nun. I wanted to for so long but…but…" She paused again to take a deep breath before continuing. "One of the reasons my brother wanted to become famous, the reason he trained for so long and then joined A. , was so he could find our mom. If she heard about him, maybe she'd recognize him and find him. If I didn't say yes, if I hadn't gone back to Manager Ma and told him I'd do it, then my brother's dream, all his hard work, would be a waste, and we'd lose the chance to find her. When I watched my flight take off, I started thinking about it. And I decided I'd do it. For my brother and my mom. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, especially since I knew I would be living here, but I thought it would be worth it if we could just find our mom."
Shin Woo took in all this information, turning it over his head, before saying, "I think…that's incredible, and very brave." Mi Nyu looked at him, shocked.
"Huh?"
"You decided to do this for your brother, so that all that he ever worked for wouldn't be wasted, and also to find your mother. And you agreed, knowing there would always be a risk to someone finding out about you. That's the bravest and nicest thing I ever heard anyone do for their family."
Mi Nyu blushed, feeling something warm and fluttery swirling in her chest and stomach at his words. She felt her heart beginning to beat faster in her chest, just the same as earlier when she was with Tae Kyung-sshi. She wondered if maybe she was coming down with the flu or something.
"Mi Nyu?"
She jumped and noticed Shin Woo looking at her. What were they talking about? "Mi Nyu, are you okay?"
"Y-y-y-yes," she said, struggling to keep her voice steady. "Um…well, thank you…for the compliment," she said quickly. Why was she blushing? And why couldn't she look at Shin Woo-hyung?
Trying to search for answers, she almost didn't hear Shin Woo's next question. "Does anyone else besides Manager Ma know about this?"
"Yes," she said, secretly glad to have a reason not to think about the other thing right now. "Noona Wang knows, because Manager Ma told her. And Hwang Tae Kyung-sshi knows, too."
At the sound of his bandmate's name, Shin Woo almost scowled. But this gave him an opening into talking about the one thing he wanted answers to more than anything else. "Why did you tell Tae Kyung your secret?" he asked, hopefully his voice wouldn't betray any jealousy. "I mean, no offense, but that seems like an odd choice. Weren't you afraid he would out you to President Ahn or the press?"
"I didn't tell him," Mi Nyu said, shaking her head. "He…well, Tae Kyung-sshi sort of…overheard a conversation I had with Noona Wang. And he recorded it. He did want to use it to kick me out of the band."
That definitely sounds like Tae Kyung, Shin Woo thought. He wasn't that surprised; after all, it would be just like Tae Kyung to use this information to get Mi Nam (or Mi Nyu) to quit the band. But she's still here, Shin Woo thought. What changed Tae Kyung's mind? The man gave the terms stubbornness and merciless a whole new meaning. Why didn't he tell?
"He wanted me to do it myself," Mi Nyu answered. Shin Woo blinked before realizing, to his mortification and horror, that he must've said some, if not all, of his thoughts out loud, but how much? He couldn't ponder because Mi Nyu started speaking again. She explained in a sad tone of what happened when Tae Kyung revealed that not only did he know her secret, but had a recorded video as proof. She explained of her attempts to delete the video by snatching the phone (much to his amusement) and how through unforeseen circumstances, she was riding on the back of a delivery truck (to both of their horror), only to be saved by Tae Kyung (which made her smile and him feel half-grateful, half-jealous). "And I tried thanking him afterwards, especially since he was all sweaty and bleeding," she said gloomily. "But he got mad instead. Said I was an 'accident zone' and it was dangerous being around me. I did try promising not to be a bother anymore."
"How?"
She bowed her head. "I thought…maybe it was best I leave."
"Leave? You were going to leave? So as not to be a bother to Tae Kyung?"
Mi Nyu nodded, secretly glad that Shin Woo wasn't yelling; she didn't realize that he would've been yelling but shock had him sounding confused and curious instead. "I really didn't want to be a bother, especially since he saved me," she said. "And he got hurt doing so. And considering everything else that happened before…well, maybe it was better for him that I wasn't around so much."
"But what about your mother, and your brother?"
She bowed her head, trying not to flinch. Now he was sounding angry. "I…I didn't know what else I could do. I really was a bother, and Tae Kyung still had that video. If I didn't do it, he would've. I thought it would be better if I did it."
Shin Woo forced himself to calm down. She's still here, he reminded himself. Tae Kyung hasn't said a word to anyone. Meaning there was no reason to be angry or yell. He took in a few deep breaths. "So," he said, controlling his temper, "I'm guessing you didn't tell, otherwise you wouldn't be here."
She shook her head. "No. I didn't get a chance to. I…" She hesitated, wondering if she should, before getting up and walking over to her truck. She rummaged for a little, looking under the sheets and clothes, and then she returned to the makeshift bed next to Shin Woo, who was looking confused at the picture she was handing him. He stared for a minute at the picture of a father with two kids, already knowing who they were even before Mi Nyu explained. "That's me," she said, pointing to the girl. Then she pointed to the boy next to her. "That's my brother, Go Mi Nam." And then her finger was on the man. "And that's my father. My aunt…she sent this picture to me. I got it the day I went to talk to President Ahn. For a moment, I thought…I thought…" She broke off and tears appeared in her eyes.
For a moment he thought of grabbing her hand and holding it, but his confidence wavered at the last minute and so he simply laid his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it comfortably. He knew what she was going to say, and he wasn't going to force her to say it. She must've believed it was her mother, and that was why she stayed.
He remembered those few weeks when the fangirls hated Go Mi Nam, repeatedly demanding his removal from the group, yelling insults, posting hateful blogs, standing out all day in protest. And as if things couldn't be more difficult, she had to deal with all this while training for a concert with (he now realizes) no previous experience or knowledge in dancing, singing or music in general.
And the only reason she pushed through it was for her brother and the vague hope of finding her long-lost mother.
He, never before, realized that a girl like Mi Nyu exists in the world.
"I'm glad you stayed," he said.
"I'm glad too." She wiped the tears from her eyes and smiled at him. "And I'm really glad Tae Kyung allowed it."
"That reminds me, what did you do exactly to get Tae Kyung to agree to keep quiet?" Of all the questions he had, this was among the few he really wanted to have answers to.
Mi Nyu tried her best to recall all the details of that day she went to Tae Kyung: She quickly explained about the ring and its importance to her; and of her quarrel with Tae Kyung involving her belief in finding her mother. When she mentioned Tae Kyung throwing the ring away into the fountain, Shin Woo scowled; he had a faint idea of what happened, and sure enough, he was right: Mi Nyu spent the whole night looking for the ring in the fountain, when the truth was that Tae Kyung had it all along.
"At least he didn't really throw it away," she said, seeing his frown.
Small consolation, he thought, but he bit back the urge to say the words out loud. "So when he saw you stayed there the whole night looking, that's when he began believing you?" She nodded. "And it's the reason he let you stay?"
"I told him to let me stay, so I could find my mom," she said. "I promised that until I found her, I'd do my best as Mi Nam, and I wouldn't bother him or expect any help." Tears formed again in her eyes but she pushed them back. "Well, I didn't find my mom but I did get to meet my Aunt. I think that's just as good, right?"
Smiling, grateful she wasn't crying again, he nodded. "Yeah, that's good." He frowned suddenly as another memory came to him. "Can I ask…what about what happened at the pool, that time Tae Kyung almost drowned? Did he really fall in?"
Mi Nyu bit her lip and shook her head. "No. He didn't."
When she didn't say any more, he asked, "He was helping you, wasn't he?" She nodded. He thought about it before guessing again. "Were you the one who fell in the pool first?"
She hung her head and nodded. "Yeah. It was my fault. I was changing clothes by the pool, but when I heard people approaching…well, I had nowhere to hide except in the pool."
Suddenly the pieces fell into place. He gasped. "Did you almost drown, just to keep your secret? Were you really willing to go that far?"
Mi Nyu tried not flinching at his tone; he sounded angry again. "I didn't want to get caught," she said, almost stubbornly.
"Was it really going to be worth your life?"
"For my brother and mom, I thought so, yes," she said.
Before he could decide whether he found this dedication frightening or admirable, she said, "Tae Kyung saved me, but he almost drowned. He knows why I did what I did, and even though he said he didn't want to get involved, he still chose to help me. I broke my promises to him, but he still never told anyone my secret. For that I'll always be grateful to him."
Shin Woo scowled, but for a different reason now (although he couldn't be fully annoyed; he was glad that Tae Kyung stepped in when it mattered most).
Mi Nyu saw his scowl. She wondered if he was still angry about the pool incident; if yes, then she could hardly blame him, it was careless of her to do what she did. But she couldn't truly regret the decision, especially since she didn't actually drown. Still, if he wanted to yell, she wouldn't blame him or attempt to stop him. She only hoped that he wouldn't yell so loudly that the others would wake.
However, after a few minutes it became clear he wasn't going to yell, that his anger was fading. Relieved, she smiled and said, "Well, that's just about everything. Unless," she add quickly, "You have any other questions?"
Anger abated, he thought carefully before he spoke. "Why did you want to become a nun?" She cocked her head in confusion. "I mean, you said you really wanted to take your Final Vows. Why?"
Mi Nyu looked away to the window, thinking of how to respond. "You don't have to say if you don't want to," Shin Woo said after a moments' silence. "I just wondered. You would've made a good Sister," he added, in case she was offended. At his words, she laughed.
"My brother said the same thing once," she explained when she saw his expression. "He was shocked when I first told him. And when he realized I was serious, he said what you said." She brought her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around them and laid her chin on her forearms. "Honestly, I think my brother knew the reason…the real reason, I wanted to be a nun."
His curiosity grew. "What did you tell him exactly?"
"I said I truly wanted to spend the rest of my life serving Him," she said. Her eyes grew slightly sad suddenly. "And that was the truth, at least part of it was. But there was another reason."
She hesitated, realizing at that moment that she was about to tell one of her bigger, more personal secrets to someone besides her beloved brother and Mother Superior, something she had never done before, not even with her school friends. But she remembered all the secrets he shared with her, and so she pushed those fears to continue.
"You see, I never knew my mother. My dad died when my brother and I were really young, and I only just got reunited with my Aunt. For a long time, my only family was my brother. And that was alright with me, 'cause Mi Nam is the greatest big brother I could've ever asked for. But I knew his dream was to become a famous singer, and he always talked of leaving the orphanage to pursue that dream, and of course I was really happy for him because I knew he could do it. But…I was sad too. I felt…I felt like he was leaving me too, so now I would truly be alone."
Again he reached to grab her hand, but again his confidence wavered, so he merely patted it. "I'm sure your brother didn't mean that," he said. "Why didn't you go with him? I'm sure he wouldn't have minded."
She shook her head. "No. I couldn't go, though Mi Nam did offer it many times." She sighed. "He said that becoming a singer wasn't the easiest thing to accomplish. It would be hard enough to make a living when it's just by himself. I didn't want him to have to worry about providing for me, too. And when it came time for him to leave, I had already decided I would train to be a nun."
"How'd you decide that?"
She frowned. "Well, you see, I was a bit depressed every time I heard him talk of leaving. I was able to hide it sometimes. But when it got too much I just start walking the grounds of the Church and orphanage, trying to forget. One day, when I was wandering, I found the Mother Superior talking with a member of the church. The woman she was talking to, she had no family, few friends, and she felt as alone as I did. The Mother Superior said that as long as she prayed to G-d, and served Him, she was never truly alone. When I heard that, I felt that if I became a Sister, then I would never feel abandoned again." She unconsciously began twirling strands of her brown hair around her finger, another nervous habit she was never able to control. "I think Mi Nam knew. I never told him, or the Mother Superior for that matter. You're the only one I told, but I think Mi Nam and the Mother Superior both knew why I chose to do it."
There was a long stretch of silence after this. Mi Nyu looked over to find Shin Woo staring out the window to the night sky. Though his eyes were glancing at the stars and moon, something about his expression was distant, as if he could see something beyond them, what she couldn't guess. Feeling that whatever he was thinking about was personal, she didn't bother calling back his attention and instead started settling comfortably against the pillows.
"What happens next?"
He spoke so suddenly, she jumped. "W-w-w-what?"
He scratched his head, not looking at her and said, "I mean…well, you said…one month…and after that…" He stopped, took in a deep breath and started again, his voice nonchalant (at least that's how he hoped he sounded), "You said you were going to pretend to be your brother, at least until he comes back. And that's great and all, I'm looking forward to meeting him, but…but when he comes back, what are you going to do?"
She opened her mouth to answer, realized she didn't have one, and then closed her mouth. The thought had never occurred to her. As simple a question it was, she found it difficult to respond to. As soon as her brother returned, what would she do? She knew she could never be allowed to stay, but what then? Going back to the convent wasn't an option, but she had no other place to go…
"You can probably stay," Shin Woo said, breaking her reverie. "Here, I mean." At her raised eyebrows, he continued, "I'm sure President Ahn wouldn't mind. If we can explain the situation, if everyone—including Tae Kyung—agrees to it, I don't see why you would have to leave at all."
She smiled, albeit sadly. "I would like to stay," she said. "But…I'm not sure if I'll be allowed. And even if I could," she quickly added, seeing he was about to interrupt, "I wonder what I should do to earn my keep. I mean, I have to do something."
"You mean a job?" Shin Woo was almost incredulous. He wondered if he dare tell her she didn't have to "earn her keep," that staying at the dorm meant she wouldn't have to worry about it at all. But she wouldn't listen if he did say so. He knows she won't. She certainly doesn't seem the type to lie back and do nothing when she could help. Another amazing thing about her, considering that any other girl would take advantage of the offer, she's wondering what she can do to "earn her keep."
Mi Nyu didn't take notice of his awe, too focused on what she needed to do when the time came for her to leave. If she could stay (and it was a big if), what could she do? Cleaning? Cooking? Care for Jolie while Jeremy was away? Would it be enough, or would she need to get a job? Maybe, she realized, and the prospect was almost frightening, but also, to her astonishment, exciting. For so long she wanted to be a nun, and had never contemplated the idea of anything else, did not bother imagining life beyond the Church. But now…now she wondered about all the possible choices before her. She again thought about everything she had seen, learned and experienced since coming to the city, and everything else she hadn't, and suddenly the world she knew grew so much larger.
She took another moment contemplating those choices before shrugging. "When the time comes for it, I'll worry about it then. For now, I'll just try to enjoy my time here." She smiled. "Thank you again, for understanding. And for keeping my secret for so long."
"It was no trouble," he said, smiling back. "And thank you for explaining. You were right, your story was very long." He hesitated before saying," Can I ask one more question?" She nodded. "Can I ask…why did you choose me to room with?"
She cocked her head in confusion.
"I knew your secret, but you didn't know I knew," he explained. "So earlier, when President Ahn asked you who you wanted to stay with, I was expecting you to choose Tae Kyung, since he knew you were a girl and all. Not that I mind sharing my room, but I was…well, I was surprised that you chose me. And I think everyone else was too."
Mi Nyu fiddled with a loose string on the blanket, suddenly feeling embarrassed. "Well, honestly I did think about choosing Tae Kyung, but…well, you see, I kind of promised him I wouldn't bother him anymore. And also, even if I did, I know he wouldn't accept it without a fight." Shin Woo fought back a frown at her hurt tone. "So I had to choose you or Jeremy. Jeremy's nice but…well, he looked scared and I don't think he would like it any more than Tae Kyung." Now Shin Woo was fighting back a laugh, remembering Jeremy's expression from earlier. "So you were my only choice. But I didn't mind. I was scared 'cause, like you said, I didn't know you knew, but of the three you were the best. And I'm really glad I did choose you in the end," she said, smiling.
There it was again, that fluttery feeling in his stomach. And he felt his cheeks burning, which was not a normal occurrence.
Mi Nyu, blushing herself, was not looking at him and so didn't notice that he was wearing a similar embarrassed expression as her.
"Well, I guess since you told me everything, we can finally go to bed," he said, when he was sure that his blush ceased. "And don't worry. I won't say a word. I'll even help if you need it."
His words caused her to blush harder than before. "Thank you," she said. Why was she suddenly feeling shy? Why couldn't she look at him? Why, oh why was the room burning up? Maybe they needed to turn off the heater, although she can't remember him ever turning it on…or maybe he did and she just didn't notice?
Not liking the direction in her thoughts, she tried pushing those thoughts away by lying down and keeping her eyes focused on the ceiling, imagining there were patterns in the plaster, trying not to think about the five feet of space separating her from her friend…who was a guy…a very good, decent, handsome guy….who knew she was a girl…Damn, the room got warmer!
She fought the urge to squirm, lost miserably, and then got curious when she felt something weighing down the pocket of her sweatshirt. She almost gasped out loud when she remembered…that strange device Manager Ma gave her! The one for emergencies, she almost forgotten about it!
Guilt tightened her throat. She had promised Manager Ma she would keep it with her, but to use against Shin Woo? She got up suddenly, startling Shin Woo, who watched her cross the room to her chest. From his point of view, he saw her open it and close it. When she returned, before he could ask she said, "I just needed to put something away."
Curious, but having an instinctive feeling he didn't want to know what it was she put away, he just nodded. He settled back against his pillows, again looking out the window, wondering if Mi Nyu was as uncomfortable as he was. The five feet separating them suddenly didn't seem large enough. Could he scoot away without her noticing, or would she take offense? What if he explained his discomfort? She'd probably be hurt…or worse, she'd feel embarrassed and awkward, because she would realize exactly why he felt that way, why he wanted to put as much distance between them as possible and he didn't want to broach that topic. Sooner or later, he knew the subject will come up, but now wasn't the time or place and he knew he certainly wasn't going to be the one to start that conversation, especially not since Mi Nyu was sharing his room. No, it certainly was not going to be him.
He jumped when he heard her voice.
"Shin Woo-hyung? Are you still awake?"
"Yeah, I am." He hoped she didn't notice the difference in his tone, that the huskiness that crept in there could be attributed to sleepiness.
She didn't. "Can I ask you something? Something serious?"
He nodded. "Sure, what is it?"
Mi Nyu hesitated before asking, "Do you think…do you think that maybe, just maybe, I can tell Jeremy the truth? About me, I mean."
Whatever his previous concerns and thoughts and feelings, they were blown away at her words. Turning his head, he looked at her, stunned. "Huh? You want to tell him?"
She half-shrugged. "Well, sort of." She looked at him, felt her cheeks darken when their eyes made contact and looked away quickly.
"Why though? Jeremy's a good friend and our band mate, but…but I thought you didn't want anyone else to know."
She frowned. "I don't want anyone to find out my secret. If the wrong person knows, that would be really, really bad. But…but I just wonder if Jeremy should know. I mean, you know, and so does Tae Kyung, Noona Wang and Manager Ma. He's the only one left...well, him and Auntie. I'll decide later if I want her to know, but for now I'm wondering about Jeremy. I don't want to keep lying to him. That's one of the greatest things about you knowing the truth: I don't have to lie to you anymore."
"So…you want to tell him?"
"I just want to know…tell me the truth, do you think I can trust him like I trust you and Tae Kyung-sshi?"
Hearing her say out loud that she trusts him made him smile, though Mi Nyu didn't see as she was keeping her eyes firmly on the ceiling, patiently waiting his answer. He thought about it before answering, "I can say, with a great deal of confidence, that Jeremy would never do anything to hurt anyone, especially not a fellow band mate and friend. If you want to tell him, to trust him, that's your choice, I won't force you to tell him if you don't want to. I can say honestly, though, that he's not the type to betray a friend's confidence."
She nodded. "Maybe…maybe I will. I'll think about it more fully in the morning." She turned and smiled. "Thanks."
He nodded, half-paying attention, again noticing her eyes. Maybe it was the lights from the stars and moon…or maybe it was something else, but her eyes seemed especially bright.
For a brief moment, they held each other's gaze, before she blinked and broke contact, and looked away, again feeling that uncomfortable warmth in the air. A strange thumping noise resonated in her ears. She wondered if someone was awake, walking the halls or in their room, not realizing how noisy they were being, before discovering that the thumping noise was her heartbeat. She peeked out of the corner of her eye, hoping against hope that Shin Woo couldn't hear it.
His back was to her. He was already asleep. She let out a sigh of relief, turned her back on him, closed her eyes and waited for sleep to claim her.
Shin Woo wasn't asleep. He was staring ahead, thinking over everything he had learned, piecing together every strange occurrence that had happened in the weeks since Mi Nyu's arrival and trying to figure out how to feel about it. He knew what most of his feelings were, but others he couldn't decipher as quickly. There was still so much that he wanted to ask, to know…and Mi Nyu was more interesting than he first thought. Most of the questions he wanted to ask were answered without her even realizing or him prodding; he was right about her. She was different from every girl he has ever known or met.
He thought of Tae Kyung. He frowned, but then smiled. At least now, they were both in the same boat.
At least until tomorrow, when she decides to tell Jeremy (and he has a feeling she will tell). Then he'll another rival to deal with.
A/N: Sorry, this chapter took longer than I thought. Hopefully, it was worth it. :) Reviews and comments always welcoming, and I can promise to try to get the next chapter updated faster than this. Key word: try.
