If you were gay, I'd be your lover. That's the way it had to be. But it was only an "if". And it's a big "if." Actually, even "if" were true, there would still be things in the way, because I am Draco Malfoy, and I am supposed to be straight. I was, for a time being. But then this Veela blood got to me, and I have a unsatisfied need to release into your arsehole. But of course, you are Ronald Weasley, and I really don't like you, romantically. In fact, I just want to be your lover, in secret. I really don't like you, I just have a problem that only you can fix. Maybe one day, we can all get drunk, and I can accidentally have you in my bed with some other attractive woman, and we can forget it all happened, until the next month, when my Veela instincts kick in. This isn't the way it should be, because I still hate you. Maybe the hate sex would be nice. What am I saying? Sex would you is bound to be sloppy, you're such a sleaze. It's amazing that your girlfriend even gets off. And yes, I am now friends with Hermione Granger, and she's blooming. Your sister's great in bed, but you don't seem like you'd be any good. But of course, this is all only if you were gay.