Nerves
I just realised how much I frowned as I looked at my reflection in the mirror. It was permanently placed on my face. I touched the white lines on my face. I felt nothing towards the scars I grew up with. Sighing I walked out of the bathroom then froze as Vincent came through the door. He knew I was here for the night again, didn't he?
"... I couldn't sleep," I said quietly. Vincent didn't say anything but he took to his room and sat me on the bed. I looked at him, listening to the rain beating against the window.
"Angevale," Vincent began. I tried my hardest not to look away from him. I had no idea what he'd say and I was scared. "... Do you want to talk about it?" I looked down, feeling tears in my eyes so I wiped them. Talk about what? That I love you and want you to stop clinging to your past? I know it's hypocritical but I want that more than anything. I want him to stop loving Lucrecia but... that's probably impossible...
"... I miss him. What more is there to say?" I said, knowing I'd cry. I missed my uncle... he was practically the Father I never had. I looked at Vincent again, feeling my hands shake. "I know it's my own fault but I feel alone... I'm scared and alone..." I went silent after that, wanting to just fall on him and cry.
"You know I'm here. Just because Oblivion died doesn't mean you're alone," I nodded slowly at his comment. I was still afraid that I'd say something I regret. I crossed my legs on the bed and sighed.
"... Thank you, Vincent," I wanted to replace the 'thank' with 'I love' but I'm too much of a coward to say. Looking at Vincent I bit my lip. "How long have you been going to Lucrecia's Cave?"
"... A while," Was the cold reply. I know he didn't mean it like that but it was still upsetting.
"Do you mind... not going tomorrow night?" I asked, making Vincent furrow his brow. "Nevina said there's a festival that occurs every year... she invited us both out to it, she says that there's a good fortune teller there that's really accurate. Apparently he's insane though."
"... For a while," I nodded, inwardly happy that he agreed even though it was reluctant. I looked out the window, seeing the rain get heavier. I closed my eyes and remembered when we first found Lucrecia's Cave... how I promised I wouldn't be scared of the monsters that dwelled within Vincent.
He said that only one remained within him. Holy killed the others three years ago. The only one left was Chaos. The one he transformed into when we faught Hojo... the very name made me sick and terrified, even if he was dead.
I still... couldn't believe that Lucrecia was there... left to imprison herself and now she's made Vincent obsessed and chained to her. I hated her. I wished she was gone for good.
Somehow I feel like those wishes will be purposefully ignored...
