When Crowley retrieved Olivia he told Nate Ford that he couldn't risk anything but the best. Crowley found himself annoyed at how quickly he needed that again. It hadn't even been a year and he'd already had to deal with Ford on that recent forgery case. It was a shame really, but there were a compendium of tablets about, of course.
"Eliot, don't kill him," Nate Ford said the second he walked through the door.
"And here I thought you'd be thanking me, showing up near closing time." Crowley was honestly amused at how worked up Spencer was getting. "What, still annoyed by the little coffee incident."
"Keep smirking, Sterling."
"It's your fault, really. What kind of hitter allows himself to get distracted enough to not notice laced coffee. I wasn't even unobvious about it."
"What do you want, Sterling," Nate asked.
Crowley opened his mouth to speak but he heard the door open and closed his mouth. No need sharing with strangers.
"See, Dean, I told you they were closing."
"Well, the door's still ope- Son of a bitch! Crowley!"
Crowley sighed, rolling his eyes at the same time. Of course. He turned around, offering a standard smirk.
"Sam, Dean, what a lovely pleasure to see you again."
"Can it, Crowley. What the hell are you doing here?" Dean snarled.
"Crowley?" Nate asked.
"Just a bit of business. Nothing you need to concern yourselves with, but as it seems you plan to anyway, I'll pencil you in after my meeting is over."
"No way," Dean said.
"Now, now, boys," Crowley said, knowing Dean would go for the knife and Spencer would possibly break his arm. "None of that. Why don't you two sit down and Spencer here will cook you up some nice cheese burgers."
"We don't serve cheese burger's here, Sterling."
"Sterling?" Sam asked.
Crowley wondered if he was to always be surrounded by morons.
"I'm sure you can make an exception for my associates."
Crowley would never consider the Winchester's his associates, but seeing Elliot's blood boil was too hilarious to pass up.
"Elliot," Nate said calmly. "Why don't you make up some burgers."
"Nate, I am not leaving you alone with him."
"Excuse me, what do you call me?" Hardison asked.
"Useless in a fight."
"Oh, damn, that's cold."
"Elliot," Nate cut in. "Burgers."
Spencer looked like he was really considering defying a direct order, and he made an angry huffing sound as he walked off. Nate turned back to look at Crowley.
"Now, Sterling, what exactly are you here for?"
"Sterling, who's Sterling?" Dean called.
"Excuse me," Crowley said to Nate before turning around. "I thought you boys would have learned to SHUT UP WHEN THE ADULTS ARE SPEAKING."
Sam and Dean were mostly unfazed. They'd seen him snap before. Nate, on the other hand looked troubled when Crowley looked back at him. Sterling didn't lose his cool like that too often, not so instantly anyway.
"My apologies. As you may be able to tell, I've had the unfortunate problem of having to deal with idiots. These two, in particular, seem unable to find two IQ points to rub together. Now, shall we get to business?"
"Sure, let's talk. What do you want?" Nate asked.
"I need help locating a few pieces of artistic importance. It seems a separate business associate of mine has decided it's best to take her intended targets and sell them elsewhere."
Crowley opened his briefcase and pulled out files and a thumb drive.
"Bella Talbot," Haridson read. He'd moved closer to see the file. "She's been off the map for ages."
"You know her?" Nate asked.
"Not personally, but she had quite a reputation," Hardison said, studying the photograph.
"Bela?" Dean's voice asked from behind Crowley. "As in Bella who's supposed to be in hell, Bella."
"What can I say, I'm a sucker for a hard luck case. And she had skills I needed."
"Since when are you in the habit of letting thieves escape?"
"Never, which is why I know exactly where you are, and I'm currently in the process of finding her."
"She can't be that good."
"She's as tricky as Parker, mean as Elliot and crafty as Sophie, and she's just pilfered historical art worth millions of dollars."
"I fail to see how this is my problem, Sterling."
"I could spin you another story about funding terrorists which may or may not be true, or you could accept and I'll owe you a favor. You saw how well that worked out for you last time."
"Yes, and you too. How is Olivia, anyway?"
"Who's Olivia? Another prophet?" Sam asked.
Nate may have said something, really he probably wouldn't have. Children had always been a touchy subject for him. Even if he wouldn't have, the look of pure murder on Crowley's face probably gave him pause. Crowley looked away from Nate and noticed the Winchesters had gotten up from the booth they'd sat at before.
"Speaking of, where's the other half of the tablet, Crowley?"
"Sterling why do they keep calling your Crowley?"
"Alias, I'm afraid. Some boys just can't figure out when to stop calling someone by the wrong name."
He was sure they knew the threat that he was sending their direction.
"Nate!" Elliot snapped, coming out of the kitchen. Ah, took him long enough. "Get back."
"What?"
"These two, remember the mass murdering spree two years ago?" Elliot asked. He put himself between the Winchesters and the rest, even Crowley, much to Crowley's amusement.
"Hey, that wasn't us," Sam said.
"Looks like some people don't know when to stay dead."
Crowley found the fight very amusing, especially when Dean seemed to think Spencer was a demon (splashing him with holy water) or a shape shifter (cutting him with the silver knife). It was funny to see their sort of sheer terror to realize that Elliot was very, very human. They were the continuous force, but Elliot Spencer was the unmovable object. Really, they didn't stand a chance.
"Now, why didn't you tell us who they were when you got in here?" Nate asked, offering Crowley a drink.
"If I lied and said I feared for my life, would you believe me?"
"No."
"Then I did it to test Spencer."
"Hey! What the hell are you doing with that pair anyway."
"They are actually why I need to find Bela Talbot," Crowley said, opening the file again. "They're after the same thing. Historical pieces called "The Word of God"."
"That was a stirring performance, boys," Crowley said, appearing next to the Winchesters on the street a bit later, or at least something like him appeared. Hell powers really were very useful.
"What the hell was that, Crowley? Who the hell is Sterling?" Dean demanded.
"A hobby," Crowley answered.
"That doesn't seem like a hobby I've ever heard of," Sam said.
"Some people collect stamps, some people collect death tokens. I collect stolen art for INTERPOL."
"Really, like seriously?" Dean asked
"INTERPOL?" Sam asked.
"Hard to believe I'm on the right side of the law, but I am. And I like my little games. So, you'll leave Mr. Sterling alone and I won't send Growly to your house."
Crowley disappeared after that.
