Sinking

I couldn't move. I felt so numb. I'm not even sure if numbness was what it was. All I could see was a bright Lifestream cloak the sky. The turquoise light was so beautiful as the Lifestream returned to where it belonged. It was so beautiful... but so...

So horrible.

I dropped to my knees as my mouth hung open slightly. I think I was still trying to process the thoughts through my head. This couldn't... but he... he didn't promise. Now he's... he's...

"Vincent..." Whimpering I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling as though I was in ice. I didn't say anything... there was no one around to listen. I didn't even cry I just... felt empty... numb... nothing...

"Hey she's here!" Omen called. He must have sensed me. I could hear several footsteps and someone stand in front of me. Christie crouched down and tried to look at my face.

"Angie?" She asked gently. I didn't reply to her. I didn't even move. My best friend put her hands on my shoulders. "Angie what happened... is Vincent...?" She didn't have to ask. She could tell. She turned her head to the others but I didn't know their expressions of gestures. Soon after Christie hugged me and pulled me to my feet. My body complied like a rag doll would.

We all walked through the Midgar ruins. I felt as though I was dreaming. That this was all a dream and I would wake up. I would wake up because Vincent would shake me out of the dream.

He wouldn't... he wouldn't...

He's dead. He didn't promise and now he's dead...


I started to drink again. It was a coping mechanism. A horrible one that didn't work. I still drank anyway. I secluded myself, cut myself off from everyone. I didn't go to help rebuild the WRO headquarters or to the makeshift base we had in Edge. I didn't help Christie with her wedding. I didn't talk to Nevina. I didn't even look at the file Nero gave me.

Two weeks... now I stood in front of Lucrecia. No one knew I was here and I wanted it to stay that way.

That woman... the woman who caused all of this. My fists clenched into anger as did my teeth. I felt so much hate... after feeling nothing for so long.

"Fine you fucking won already!" I screamed at her dead body. "You happy now! You won! Congratulations Lucrecia fucking Crescent I hope you're happy!" My screams echoed throughout the cave. "I don't care! You fucking win already! You've got your prize now keep him!" My hands were shaking and it soon escalated to my whole body. I was so stressed and I felt myself cry. "Have him! I don't care anymore! You can Vincent do you hear me! You can keep him! I hope you two are happy together!"

I collapsed to my knees and cried so hard. I cried so much I couldn't stop it. Torrents of tears dripped down my face and I found it hard to breath between sobs. All Lucrecia did was watch. Her crystallized body not moving as I became a worse wreck than I was before.

"You win... you won... I hope you're happy..." I kept repeating. She won... Vincent got the girl he wanted and Lucrecia won... at what cost? My happiness? I lost what I wanted... because it didn't seem to matter to anyone else...

I just wanted to see him again... even for one minute... even though I would be torn apart if he left again...

That is if there were big enough pieces of my heart to be shredded...

"I hate you Lucrecia... why did you this..." I cried more. I couldn't stop. I looked at her and started screaming. "Why Lucrecia! It's because of you he died! It's all your fault!" I started to sob again, completely losing control of my emotions. "It's all your fault... why did he choose you? Why..."