Chapter 36:

Forgiveness

I sighed as I let my head fall back. They knew. . . I have to tell Nessie soon. She has a right to know . . . along with Edward. I heard a car come up. They took a car? I ignored it as I went back to thinking. Maybe they would tell her . . . no, probably not. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Why would they knock? I got up as I went to open it.
Maybe they forgot their keys . . . all of them?? I sniffed the air suspiciously and that's when his scent reached me. My eyes widened as I froze in mid-stride. His delicious, intoxicating scent . . . what was he doing here?!?! I started to hyperventilate.

"Bella, please open up. I just want to talk" his beautiful voice called.

To talk. Uhoh! No, no, NO!!! I knew I had to talk to him about Nessie but I thought more in the future . . . not now . . . him standing at the doorstep! I finally forced my legs to move as I glided over to the door. My hand rested on the handle and with deliberate slowness, I opened the door. He stood there, casual yet tense.

"Hi" I said as our eyes met.

NPOV

I headed to my room and turned on my stereo. They were either talking about me or something to do with me . . . not good. I took out all my homework, spread it on the floor but glidded to my drawers. I put on a fresh pair of socks and tiptoed to the edge of the hallway. I saw mom break the small circle they had formed around her and sit on the couch.

"Bells, we just want to help" Will as he sat down. "But we have to know something"

"Is there a certain reason Edward coming back hurt you so much?" Mel asked.

"Did he . . . do something that made it worse when he came back?" Will asked.

I heard her breathing start to speed up.

"Oh, stop it you guys, your stressing her out" Sophie said "Bella, does Nessie have anything to do with this?" she asked.

At that point, her breathing stopped all together along with mine. They were trying to get her to tell them the truth. She started shaking suddenly.

"Bella!" Everyone called but she seemed faraway in a memory.

"BELLA!!" Will called.

When she didn't respond, he went up and shocked, effectively stopping her shaking and making her eyes snap open. I decided it was probably safe now.

"Mom? You okay?" I called as she came down.

"Yeah," she said as she fixed some loose strands. "I was just messing with Will and he went overboard" she said as she kept fidgeting with her hair.

Uhuh, liar! I saw the whole thing mom!

"Umm . . . okay, if your sure" I said instead as I waited, hoping they would start up again. "Oh" I said as I noticed all them staring at me "I'll keep on doing my homework" I said as I raced upstairs to my room.

I did a couple of Statistics problems quickly and headed to the edge again.

"Bella . . . well we were talking and we started noticing some . . . features that seemed alike and taking into consideration your story—" Mel started to say.

"Easy version - Who is Nessie's Dad?" Will asked straight out as I froze, listening intently.

"Will" Mel hissed.

Suddenly, all sound cut off and I noticed they all took a discreet breath. Uhoh, discovered. I zoomed back to my room right before they saw me.

I waited a few second before coming out again. I listened intently but couldn't her a thing . . . that's not possible unless . . . shield! Ugh! Mom's stupid shield.

I focused on Mel and read her lips.

'Bella, is Edward Nessie's dad?'

I breathing completely stopped and a lump formed in my throat as I tried to listen to what mom would say.

Her head fell in her hands. I could see her slightly shaking but couldn't hear anything. I concentrated harder. Then suddenly everyone smiled and I saw mom watching me through a vase . . . crap! I discretely and slowly walked back to my room.

"Umm . . . let's go for a run, we'll talk more when we get back" Sophie said.

"WHAT??" They all hissed.

"Now" she said "Nessie, come on, we're going for a run, maybe a small hunt, you up for it?" Sophie asked.

They just want to get me out of the house but I guess I wouldn't really have a choice.

"Yeah, be right down" I said as I put my hair in a neat ponytail and ran down.

I looked at mom and saw the pain evident in her yes. "You coming mom?" I asked.

"No, you go ahead honey, I have things to do" she said.

'Uhoh, right, okay' I thought as I ran out'

"We'll be back soon" Alex said as he closed the door.

BPOV

I know it's a pretty pathetic greeting but I really don't think I can get anything else out.

"Hello Bella, can I come in?" he asked.

I simply nodded, not trusting my voice one bit. He smiled slightly and walked in, took a deep breath and headed to the couch. I was still frozen by the door.

"You coming Bella?" he asked and slowly, I willed my legs to move over to where he sat.

I sat on the sofa with him but on the opposite side. He took notice and gave a sad chuckle.

"Bella, I need you to understand that I'm so truly sorry" he began agin and my chest tightened.

I opened my mouth to speak but he stopped me.

"Please Bella, just hear me out" he pleaded and I nodded. "That day when I left you in the woods, it was terrible. Seeing it in your face, the betrayal and the utter disbelief and sadness when you thought I didn't love you" I breathed deeply as the pain came back. "It was the hardest thing I did in my whole existence, lying to you and purposely going back on everything I ever told you" he said and I interrupted.

"Then why did you do it?" I said in a small voice, remembering that day.

"Bella! I couldn't believe how much danger I was putting you in. I wanted you to stay human but it was just too dangerous. You were constantly in danger with me around and I attracted even more on top of that. I didn't want to change you, condemn you to this life but I couldn't bear if something happened to you" he explained and I started to remember my thoughts.

I had made up reasons of why Edward left.

1. He didn't love me

2. He felt guilty because of the Jasper incident

3. He used me in passing

I originally really only thought of 3 but a very small part of me couldn't ever accept the fact that he didn't love me. He still did.

"I was only able to run away a couple miles before I collapsed. I knew I was doing this for your own good but I already missed your scent, your caring eyes, your warm touch, I almost couldn't bear the thought of never feeling them again. I lived in an old run-down apartment, going on the misery of my days"

"I was so miserable to be around anyone and I didn't do much but mope. You at least got up and acted normal for Charlie . . . I couldn't. I went back a couple months later to check on you. If you were okay, I would leave you alone, if you weren't, I would try to help. But then, I didn't find you Bella. You disappeared! Charlie was heart-broken and frustrated. I've been looking for you for the last about 29 years Bella!" he said and my eyes widened, he was looking for me?

"About a year ago, I just about lost all hope Bella. You were pronounced probably dead by police years ago but it never really struck me until then. I just, fell nearly dead. Carlisle almost considered taking me to a hospital under his care. And then I met you here Bella and it was like my whole existence, my life, my soul, came back. When I saw you that first day, I really couldn't believe it might be you. I thought I must be imagining things but then I found out it was you and . . . it was amazing, the feeling of being near you again Bella" I could relate, I got almost the same feeling. "I love you so much Bella and I'm so sorry for all the pain I put you through" he said as he nearly broke out into sobs as his head fell into his hands.

I could sort of see his reasoning now. He told that one lie that day and I thought it was the truth and everything else was lies but I should've known. Edward wouldn't do that. He actually left me because he loved me! Now everything made sense. Why he left all my stuff hidden, why he was in so much pain when we met again. He was trying to show me that he lied that day but only that day. I get it now! My heart nearly came alive as I realized it. He still loved me! I scooted over to where he was sitting and wrapped his arms around his waist. He froze for a second before wrapping his arms around me.

"I'm so sorry Bella" he nearly sobbed into my hair.

"I forgive you Edward" I said as I pulled back. "I get it now, you still love me!" I rejoiced, nearly screaming the words.

"Yes! You finally understand" he said as his eyes sparkled.

Slowly, he leaned in and I met him half way. The second our lips met, a spark passed through my body. I tangled my hands in his hair and he did in mine. Suddenly though, the forest scene popped in my mind and all the pain came back. Pictures of the pregnancy test and of Renesmee came up too and I automatically retracted.

"What's wrong?" he asked with sad eyes.

"Edward, I forgive you . . . but I just can't trust you yet" I said as my eyes flew down. "I understand why you did it, but you still did. You have no idea the pain, the emptiness, the darkness I had to go through . . . I forgive you, but that won't just go away" I mumbled.

"Hey" he said as he lifted my chin. "It's okay, I'll win your trust back eventually" he said as he leaned down and kissed me sweetly. "There is one thing I need to know" he said and his eyes tightened.

I took a deep breath preparing but then let it out suddenly as it hit me . . . what he could possibly want to know? He said it just as I thought it.

"Is Nessie your . . . my daughter?" he asked softly.


A/N

Hey Guys! SORRY!! I'm sorry for the late update ut the test were huge and I wasn't able to write at all this week. I'm sorry, thank god they're over though. I might not update next week (not certain yet) because I might be gone the whole weekend at Disney so yeah. I'm not sure though. I might update before I leave but we'll probably leave Friday so I don't know. Anyway, what did you think? Cliffy! I know and I'm sorry but I couldn't resist. OH!!!! The scene between Bella and Edward! I know you guys were waiting for it so here it is. Bella finally understands but she still can't trust him. I'm sorry but no. When I first started this, I thought maybe Nessie should forgive him and help Bella but I decided to reverse it. Anyway, Edward finally asked the question! What will happen next???? OMG!! Did you guys see the preview for Eclipse?? They already released the first one and I was screaming the whole time!! I can't wait till June 30th!! It's gonna be awesome. Well, review and check out the preview, here's a link - .com/ click it or copy and paste in into your address bar. Luv ya!

=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=