A Promise to Be Better 18
author: Raven Dancer
Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.
summary: Sirius ponderings.
Sirius Black threw himself down on the clean bed. Such a luxury after years of filthy cells, then sleeping on the dirt in various places. Lupin's place was rustic, but much better than the prison cell. A Hogwarts' professor's rooms? Unheard of luxury. He'd had a hot bath and dinner. Now he waited for Lupin to return.
He had taken part of the afternoon to refamiliarize himself with the castle, running up and down the stairs. Students had mostly been kind to the large black dog, petting him and slipping him treats.
Of course he'd slipped down to the dungeons and was rather ashamed of his spying. Black had heard very little of the conversation between the Snape and the Healer, just enough to know the Snape was worried about him being back. Not the Snape. Just Snape. Dumbledore had been very firm on that. No harassing Snape. No taunting Snape.
But what was with the hug? And why was the Snape talking with a shrink? Had Dumbledore managed to tame the evil git? He was a Death Eater! Did the old man really believe a death eater could reform? He wondered idly if the Headmaster knew, then cast the thought aside. Of course he knew. Didn't Dumbledore just tell him a few months back the Snape had been a spy? Yes, that's right.
Black rubbed his temples. Being so alone for so long with only the dementors had left him a little forgetful at times. He had to work to separate his own musings with reality since he'd escaped. Of course, he did not forget all those things the Snape had done to him and his friends when they were at Hogwarts. Nasty stuff. Things the dementors weren't interested in and left for him to ruminate on.
Dumbledore had said they were all just childish pranks; some had gone a little far, but all in all only pranks. Black felt the incident at the shrieking shack had probably 'gone a little far' in the old man's eyes. But Black thought it justified.
Memories were rattling around his head. Some good memories were coming back now that he'd been away from the dementors for awhile. He'd despaired of ever having a happy thought again after 12 years being sucked dry.
Yet they'd returned, very tentatively at first. Of Harry as a baby primarily. Playing, holding, being near his godson. Just being with him last June for a few hours had helped trigger them. After nearly a year of freedom, hiding with Lupin, he hadn't had any spontaneous pleasant memories. Even with Lupin telling him stories of old times, good times, he couldn't generate any. But Harry had.
Now he could slip into good memories easily. He recognized that some weren't real, just wishes. But that was ok, too. Just being back at Hogwarts evoked a warm wash of emotions. It was a good thing dogs don't cry like humans. Tears running down his doggy face weren't suspect; although some of the kids admonished him to see Madame Pomfrey as if he had a cold.
Lupin came up from dinner as soon as he could. He found Black lost in pleasant memories. With a smile he closed the door and hung his cloak.
"A sickle for your thoughts, Sirius," he asked with a grin.
"Remembering our days at Hogwarts, Moony," he returned with his own lopsided grin. He rolled onto his stomach and watched his friend relax by the fire.
"Remember all the fun we had? We practically ruled the school," he laughed at the memories.
""Hmm, I seem to recall Dumbledore ruled the school, then and now," Lupin replied with a chuckle.
"Well, we were his favorites," Black retorted with a sly smile.
"Dumbledore have favorites?" Lupin asked.
Black only grinned and sat up.
"Say, let's have some fun, for old times sake. We could go plant a few dungbombs in the potions lab," Black suggested casually. Lupin carefully crossed his legs and leaned back.
"No, let's not," Lupin replied calmly.
"Oh, come on, Moony. It's just for a laugh," Black tried his most winning smile.
"Sorry, old Padfoot. It was funny, it's a wonderful memory. But I couldn't taunt Severus anymore," Lupin said.
Severus? Since when was Lupin on first name basis with the Snape? He let this thought sit in his head next to the vision of Dumbledore actually touching the slimy git.
"Come on, Sirius, things have changed. Didn't Albus talk to you about Severus? I know he cautioned you about teasing him," Lupin playfully tossed a pillow at the lounging man.
"He said not to harass Snape," Black enunciated carefully. "A couple harmless jokes, just for old times, that's all!" Black pleaded.
"No! Don't be silly, Sirius! We have to protect the students from Voldemort's attacks. Harassing Severus will only benefit that evil creature," Lupin asserted.
Black could not see how a joke, a good belly laugh, would help he-who-is-not-named's cause. But he didn't pursue the matter. Lupin was not going to tease Snape, at least not now.
"Severus?" the wizard instead questioned. "Since when did the Snape become 'Severus'?"
"A lot of things have changed since you went into Azkaban. You weren't here to see them. You'll just have to trust me for now, Severus is on our side. He's been through hell and needs some understanding," Lupin appealed to his friend.
The Snape needed understanding? The Snape had been through hell? That was rich. He'd spent over 12 years in hell, thank you very much. No way could the Snape's little trials be compared to that! Lupin must have read his mind.
"What you've been through and what Severus has gone through can't be compared, Padfoot. Both are horrible in their own ways. Severus said he'd try very hard to work with you. Can't you try, too?" Lupin again tried to appeal to Black.
Black shrugged. "I guess. Both you and the old man have been pretty adamant about it. So, yes Moony, I'll try to work with Snape," the name nearly rolled off his tongue in disgust and he had to try very hard to make it sound normal.
Lupin looked at his friend. Maybe he'd made a mistake, convincing Dumbledore to bring Black here. Oh, Black! had made great strides regaining himself, remembering who he was and being able to comport with reality once more. But he still hated Snape. That was very clear. The dementors had left him with only the darkness to contemplate all those years.
"Come on, Padfoot, let's play some exploding snaps," he held up the special cards and smiled. Black shook his head, as if clearing away the thoughts, and returned the smile.
"Sounds like fun, Moony!" he moved over to the hearth rug to play cards.
Morning came, as it generally did after night ended. Black found himself back up in Dumbledore's office seeking any additional directions. The old man looked a bit tired, hadn't changed into his robes for the day. But he'd directed the animagus to a chair while he rang a bell for the house elves.
Before the older man came back to his desk the bedroom door opened and Black's jaw dropped when the Snape himself came out. Still in sleep clothes. No bed jacket. Looking more tired than the Headmaster. Left arm was held out and the older man touched it gently as he whispered to the evil git.
Then gathered the Snape into his embrace and held him gently, patting his back and whispering gods know what into his ear. When they broke apart the Snape noticed him and blanched before carefully tooling his face into neutrality.
"Good morning, Sirius," Snape managed.
Black nodded, preferring to not say the Snape's name aloud. He watched Dumbledore smile happily and propel the slimy git over to the table where an elf was setting out breakfast. Now the older man came back to the desk.
"Severus had a bad night and came up to see me," Dumbledore offered by way of explanation. Black had a few questions, starting with 'what the hell do you think you're doing with that death eater?,' but quelled them effectively enough. The Headmaster watched him carefully, as if reading his very thoughts.
"Severus has every right to come see me when he needs help, Sirius. Don't bother him about it," the older man said firmly.
Black nodded. "I just came by to see if you had any other assignments."
"I need you to watch the forest and patrol the grounds," Dumbledore replied. "Here's a leather pouch Severus made for you to carry any tokens you find. Remember not to touch them!" the Headmaster admonished.
"I won't! Remus told me what happened to him." Black responded, but was thinking more about the Snape than the illness. He placed the pouch around his neck; it was big enough for the circlet the Headmaster had shown him, but small as to not impede him in dog form.
"We've been very fortunate only the one ring has turned up," Dumbledore continued. "and although Dr. Barnes wants to learn the proper counter-curse from Severus first hand, we all hope there are no other tokens!"
Of course a healer would want to learn the counter curses, but the lessons would come from a death eater. How appropriate was that? Snape had healed Lupin; healed him when he didn't have to or even admit he knew the counter curses. It made Black's head hurt slightly as he tried to rectify that in his thought processes.
"Now, it's not all that bad Sirius," Dumbledore soothed, thinking Black was concerned about the threat.
"You will lunch at 'Hagrid's place. Harry at the least will be able to come visit you at that time. You can arrange to meet him there or in Lupin's chambers tomorrow. There's no quidditch match on so I believe your godson will have most of the day available," the Headmaster smiled softly.
That perked Black up and he grinned eagerly. The thought of being with Harry drove out all his ruminations about the Snape.
"I'm looking forward to that!" Black returned with gusto.
"Good. Then you best be off. Stop by before dinner to see me," Dumbledore said as he stood.
As Black transformed into 'Snuffles' he watched the Headmaster walk over to the table, patting the Snape on the back before sitting down to his breakfast. With that image in his head, the animagus went down to patrol the school grounds.
