A Promise to be Better 19
Author: Raven Dancer
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.
Summary: As Snape struggles with his difficulties, he receives support from students and staff alike. Black patrols the school grounds.
For a few days life was very quiet at Hogwarts. Snape taught Friday then spent the bulk of the weekend curled up reading on Dumbledore's couch. Barnes came by Saturday to talk with him.
"You should really let Albus know how you feel, Severus," Barnes commented when the wizard admitted feeling worried.
"But it's silly. Albus has told me what happened all those years ago were just pranks. He said he'd watch what happened between me and Black now. I shouldn't doubt him," Snape said quietly, arms wrapped tightly around his torso. The body language was screaming insecurity and fear.
"If you feel so strongly about it then it isn't silly at all," Barnes tried.
"I should trust Albus. Isn't that what you told me before?" Snape threw out, now staring into the fire, willing himself to believe.
"Sometimes I wish you didn't have so good a memory," the Healer teased his patient. Snape just held up his journal with a wry grin.
"I wrote it down. See?" and he held out the appropriate page. Barnes glanced at it and chuckled.
"Very good, Severus," he handed the journal back, brushing his fingers over the outstretched hand. He wanted to get a better read on Snape's emotional state to determine if he should continue exploring this part of the conversation.
The Potions Master only smiled slightly, then allowed the Healer to take his hand knowing exactly what he wanted to do.
The door opened and the Headmaster walked in, shaking the rain from his cloak. "I, for one, am glad there is no quidditch today!" Dumbledore announced as he moved to the teapot to pour out a hot cup.
"Yes, it would be a miserable game," Barnes agreed. He felt the spike of apprehension from his patient and glanced at him.
"So," Dumbledore sat down across from the two men. "What is the topic? Or am I interrupting?" Barnes squeezed Snape's hand encouragingly.
"Just Sirius and me," Snape said very softly.
"And?" Barnes prompted, getting rewarded with a glare.
"And you, Albus," Snape finished.
Dumbledore sat back slightly. So Snape was still worried about Black coming to Hogwarts. Barnes had warned him in rather strong terms about the Potions Master's insecurities, especially since they'd learned more about his childhood. Even the Headmaster, with all his supposed omnipotence, hadn't known half the truth about Snape's upbringing. In fact, Dumbledore knew there was still more to be unearthed, if they could get Snape to talk about it.
"Have you come any closer to accepting Black being here?" the older man said carefully. Snape squirmed slightly, pulling his hand away from Barnes and put it back on his lap.
"Yes, I trust you, Albus," he said as blandly as possible. Dumbledore smiled warmly, not believing Snape for an instant. There really was nothing to be said; only time and actions would finally assuage the younger wizard's doubts.
"Have you rested? You didn't sleep well last night," The Headmaster changed the topic enough to move away from the uncomfortable subject.
"I've been reading and for the past hour talking with Jeffrey," Snape commented.
"Trouble last night?" Barnes asked.
"Nightmares," Snape reported shortly.
"Voldemort summoned you Thursday night, right?" Barnes asked and received an affirmative nod.
"Once? Twice?" he pursued.
"Three different times, after midnight, after four am and then around eight as we were getting ready for breakfast," Dumbledore answered.
"The lab," Snape added quietly.
"Oh, and just after lunch. I get the feeling Voldemort didn't sleep much, either," the Headmaster concluded.
"That would give me nightmares," Barnes remarked. He held his hand out to the Potions Master again.
"Let's try pulsing you," the Healer said. "Get some of the endorphins moving." Grasping the wizard's hand he pulled Snape over so he was lying on the couch, nestled against the Healer using him as a pillow. Of the various treatments Barnes had tried, the Potions Master preferred this one when he could choose. There were no potions muddling his mind. The Healer's energies soothed him and helped dispel the dark chaos that cluttered his thoughts.
Dumbledore moved closer, too, offering his hand to his friend. The older man knew Snape would soon feel better. Maybe even sleep a bit. Often an hour's worth of nap made a world of difference to Snape's attitude and outlook.
That's where McGonagall found them a little while later; Snape sleeping peacefully while the other two were sipping tea quietly.
"Is he doing better?" she asked. There was no longer any biting edge to her voice.
"He's trying. It's been difficult for him," Dumbledore offered.
"I gather he-who-should-not-be-named hasn't given up, either," the witch said shrewdly.
"No, Voldemort has not," the Headmaster conceded.
"I never thanked you, Albus, for setting me straight. For letting me see last week at the staff meeting what Severus is going through. I did not like what happened to my students, but I understand why Severus was so on edge," she still stood, hands clasped, looking down at the sleeping wizard.
Dumbledore motioned her to a chair and fetched another cup of tea.
"He won't mind?" the witch asked, accepting the tea.
"Oh, he'll probably mind a great deal," Barnes smiled, "but he needs to know he's not alone. Severus is a hard man to convince!"
"Well, Frederick and I have informally begun correcting any rumors we hear. Louise has been keeping an eye on the Slytherins with Hooch. Things have been rather quiet except for that big dog on the grounds," McGonagall touched lightly on the animagus. She knew that it was no ordinary dog; as an animagus herself, she could sense the wizard within.
"Oh, Snuffles. I believe he belongs to Remus Lupin. He mentioned needing a good nose for hunting in the forest," Dumbledore said easily. McGonagall did not press.
Another tap at the door and in popped Hagrid. He was smiling, his calm, unpressing manner filled the room.
"Severus's catching up, I 'spect," he said as he accepted both a chair and a mug of tea.
"Yes, needs his sleep," Barnes concurred as he ran a little more energy through the somnolent wizard. Snape moaned softly as his fingers flexed in the Healer's robes. Hagrid smiled indulgently.
"I'd take 'im in a second if he were strayed," the groundskeeper said. "'cept I'd let 'im go once he woke up."
All four chuckled. Snape's brow furrowed in concentration and Barnes quickly shushed them as he fine tuned his feed, relaxing the wizard once more into sleep.
"That'll hold him a few more minutes," the Healer reported.
"Good, looks off his feed," Hagrid remarked as he reached into one of his many pockets.
"Found 'nother down by the lake this morning," he reported. "Least, I 'spect it is. Gold chain wrapped 'round another rabbit. Easy to catch them." The pouch was handed over to the Headmaster who carefully put it up on the mantle next to a sneakoscope. The circlet had been sent on to the Ministry for analysis.
"Any students turn in a token?" Dumbledore asked. Both witch and groundskeeper said no.
"With any luck at all Lupin found the first object and we got the warning out," Barnes commented.
"Don't believe in luck," Snape suddenly spoke, eyes tightly closed. "I'd rather rely on Hagrid and the dog."
"You were suppose to stay asleep a bit longer, Severus," Barnes chastised the wizard gently. Snape snorted a laugh and tried to sit up. The Healer simply sent a strong surge of energy through him, effectively keeping him curled up on his lap.
From that position the Potions Master opened his eyes. He knew Hagrid and McGonagall were there and he felt a little stupid curled up against the Healer sleeping. But he couldn't change the situation for the time being and continued to hold onto the doctor's robes as a gentle hand ran over his shoulder and back slowly pulsing him with energy.
Snape could see a glimmer of amusement on Hagrid's broad face; some affection on McGonagall's thinner visage. Dumbledore himself was smiling, the acceptance and love dancing in his eyes. With a sigh the Potions Master relaxed and allowed himself to be comforted.
"Hagrid found a chain down by the lake this morning," the Headmaster reported.
"Another rabbit," the big man confirmed.
"Maybe they didn't send many cursed tokens out," McGonagall mused, "or the animals aren't coming out of the forest."
"The last time they sent out 15 pieces; Mostly rabbits and squirrel. The owls wouldn't carry them unless they were wrapped like a letter. An owl is traceable," Snape reported quietly. He felt much better for the nap and the energy.
"Well, between me and the dog we'll walk the grounds daily. See what we can find. Good dog, that," Hagrid said.
Barnes was pleased to note Snape did not react to the mention of Black. The talking and the endorphins had calmed him substantially. The Healer rested his hand against his patient's shoulder as they continued the conversation.
Dumbledore smoothed his beard as he talked, sneaking a glance now and then at the Potions Master. He knew the man was worried, still uneasy about many things. But at the moment all was calm and under control.
McGonagall left first. She was going into Hogsmeade with Vector and wanted to get ready. It was rainy and they'd need to leave early in order to meet a few friends at the Three Broomsticks. Before she left she gently touched Snape's face and wished him a good night. The Potions Master was somewhat taken aback as he looked into her kind eyes. He managed a shaky 'you too' as the witch walked out.
Hagrid followed a short while later. Barnes tended to Snape another hour, not really talking, just running a gentle energy flow. The Potions Master dozed, enjoying the feed, the gentle hands, the warmth.
Dinner was suggested. Barnes declined, wanting to get home. Snape agreed not only to eating but to descending down to the great hall. Chances were the elves would serve a new dish. A surprise would be nice after the relaxing afternoon.
Together Headmaster and Potions Master walked down the stairs and neared the great hall. Filch was waiting next to the dooïrs.
"Headmaster? A word, please," Filch motioned to Dumbledore.
"Go ahead, Severus. Save me a place," he told his companion. With a nod Snape continued past both men and began to walk down the couple steps towards the Slytherins tables. Several students looked up at the professor, waving slightly.
Snape smiled slightly and looked over his house. Somehow he missed the final step and went crashing to the ground. OK, that hurt! He pushed himself up, waiting for the laughter to follow. He'd seen other people, staff and students, fall in a variety of situations and generally they were teased for being clumsy. He recalled several occasions in the past when he'd bore the brunt of the laughter for falling.
But there was no laughter. Malfoy and Stevens, a Slytherins Prefect, were by his side in a flash.
"Sir, are you all right?" Stevens asked with concern.
"Did you twist your ankle?" Malfoy ºadded.
"I'm fine, gentlemen. A missed step," Snape explained, although now he wondered about his fall. Fleetingly he thought he felt something tangle up his feet but he quickly dismissed that notion. No one had been near him.
"You've scrapped your hand," Malfoy pointed out. There was a flurry of robes and Neville Longbottom sidled up to them. Malfoy frowned but Snape looked up at the Gryffindor.
"Hello, Mr. Longbottom. Feel like trying Sprout's spell again?" the older wizard asked, holding out his damaged hand.
"Sh-sure, Professor Snape," Neville managed to eek out. He still didn't know why he'd rushed over when Snape fell, but he was glad he had. Holding the scraped hand he murmured the healing charm.
"Interesting charm, Longbottom," Stevens commented. Malfoy agreed.
"Good job, Longbottom," the normally nasty Draco added.
"Thanks," Neville blushed slightly. The three students rose and assisted the Professor to his fee't.
"Thank you gentlemen. I feel much improved," Snape nodded and moved down the aisle to the staff table.
Monday morning found the Potions Master back in his dungeon working with first years. The dungeons were calm, the children busy with their potions. Snape moved easily along the rows watching them prepare and brew. This were the easiest classes since he hadn't traumatized them too much.
On the way to lunch he nearly tripped again, but a quick thinking pair of Ravenclaw seventh years managed to catch him. Several students expressed concern and two prefects, Stevens from Slytherins and Brown, a Ravenclaw, walked with him through the hallways to the great hall and all the way up to the staff table managing to keep up the pretense they were curious about a potion they wanted to brew on Friday.
*I'd best talk to Barnes about this falling business,* Snape told himself. He pulled out a bit of parchment and marking pen and scribbled a quick note. Stevens was still there, waiting a moment as if expected.
"Would you like me to send that out for you, professor?" he asked in his most unpressing tones. Many of the students in the Slytherins House were concerned about their House Head. They didn't mind his shift, giving points out to other houses and being less sarcastic. In fact, they had benefitted from his change of bearing and personality. There had been a thaw of sorts between houses and less rivalry. He, himself, had been enjoying the company of Cathryn Brown, a Ravenclaw, without the harassment that used to follow intra-house pairings.
"Yes, after you eat if you have time. Send this to Dr. Barnes in Hogsmeade. Use one of the school owls," Snape said, folding the parchment and sealing it with a simple charm.
"Certainly, I'll be near the owlry when I go to history," Stevens tucked the note in his robe and moved back towards his table to eat.
Snape ate lightly, talking with Lupin and McGonagall. The DADA professor managed to slip more soup in his bowl when he answered a question from the witch. More than the Headmaster and the Healer were concerned about the Potions Master.
Lupin raised an eyebrow at McGonagall, indicating the all clear. They finished eating and made sure tea and several cookies landed in front of Snape.
"So, you're trying to fatten me up, too?" Snape said in a bemused tone. Lupin only chuckled without answering. McGonagall patted his shoulder.
"Me? I doubt that, professor," she said in her driest voice.
Snape smiled, a true smile, then sipped his tea and began eating the cookies in front of him.
Malfoy and Goyle hung back, waiting for Professor Snape. When the wizard started towards the doors they fell in step and began to discuss several problems they had 'noticed' with the Slytherins quidditch team. This lasted all the way down to the door of the dungeon lab. The first group of second years, Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs, were setting up or waiting patiently.
As the professor entered the room, away from his escorts, he moved half-way up the aisle towards the dais when he once again lost his footing and pitched forward, his head glancing the corner of a student's table.
There was a quick laugh, one that died immediately as the worried children looked around. Malfoy was at Snape's side gently checking for problems. Goyle stood uncertain.
"Should I get Madame Pomfrey?" Creevy, a second year Gryffindor, asked.
"Yes, hurry. He seems to have been knocked out," Draco said gratefully. Goyle was a loyal friend, but slow on the uptake. Several students moved about bringing cold, wet rags for the older boy's use. With the help of Goyle they carefully rolled Snape onto his back and cleaned around the forming bruise.
Using a cooling charm Draco fashioned a cold pack and had another Gryffindor, looked like Finnegan's sister, to hold it against the swelling. A low moan rose from their professor.
"ssshh, Professor Snape. You've taken a fall. Madzame
Pomfrey is coming," Draco soothed the waking wizard.
Drawing in a deep breath, the Potions Master attempted to open his eyes, but shut them when everything appeared to be spinning in tight circles.
"What happened?" he managed to ask. A cool cloth was gently cleaning his slightly gray face.
"You lost your footing halfway up the aisle, Professor," Draco said carefully. "You hit your head going down, on the temple. There's a bump and some bruising."
"mmmm," was the only reply.
Draco looked up. "What are you studying today?" he asked a student nearby.
"We were starting on energy potions. Today was about animal tonics," she replied quietly.
"Professor Snape was going to teach us potions for our owls and cats," added another child.
Draco nodded. Snape had not taught them specific potions for their pets, but given how the professor had been trying to change it made sense.
"I don't think Professor Snape will be teaching this afternoon," Draco said carefully.
"Maybe we should go research some of the potions in the library? Write a parchment about them?" suggested Finnegan's sister.
"Yes, find out four to six different potions that would work on humans or animals and compare them, how they're alike and different," Draco recalled writing something similar when he studied energy potions three years before.
"I'll write that down," said Goyle, " and post it for the next class, too." Draco nodded in agreement. The students began gathering their things and began leaving for the library.
Pomfrey moved into the dungeons with a panting Creevy. *The kid moves fast*, Goyle thought as he finished writing down the assignment.
"We sent a house elf to Professor Dumbledore," the younger boy reported.
"Good. Finnegan can tell you about your paper," Draco found being in charge easy, although he was extremely happy the nurse was here.
Dumbledore and Dr. Barnes swept into the room next. The Healer went directly to the fallen man while the Headmaster looked about the empty room.
"We told the second years to write a parchment," explained Draco. "I remembered we wrote one on energy potions back in our second year."
Dumbledore nodded. "Good thought. You've posted the assignment for the next class, then?"
Goyle held up the parchment and moved towards the door.
The Headmaster turned his attention back to Draco. "What happened, Mr. Malfoy?"
Draco outlined walking the Potions Master down from lunch, leaving out the fact a group of Slytherins had decided not to leave him alone in the halls if they could help it. He explained how Snape had fallen but wasn't quite sure what he'd tripped over or if his ankle had given out or if he'd been dizzy.
"He went down like he'd lost his footing," Draco concluded.
"Thank you, Mr. Malfoy, for watching out for Professor Snape. You'd best go to your class," the Headmaster said. Draco looked at the fallen wizard.
"I'll send you a note Draco, when we find out how he is," Dumbledore added softly, knowing Draco was concerned.
"He should be fine, Mr. Malfoy. Just a bad bump and a headache, I'm sure," Dr. Barnes said kindly.
Snape finally woke nearly two hours later. He was tucked under warm blankets on the Headmaster's couch. His head hurt and he winced as he opened his eyes.
"Good, I was getting a bit worried about you, Severus," Dr. Barnes moved closer holding a cup and straw. He slid his free arm under Snape's shoulders and lifted him up slowly.
"This is not a good idea," the queasy wizard moaned.
"Sip. It will take care of the nausea and headache," the Healer directed. Tentatively the Potions Master sipped the liquid up the straw. He continued, managing to take in half the cup.
"You've learned how to use sweetener I see," Snape grumbled.
"Just followed directions. Finish," Barnes directed, proffering the straw again. The ill wizard resumed and suckled up the remaining potion. Barnes set the empty cup aside and lowered his patient back onto the pillows.
"It wasn't too bad a bump, Severus. Just enough to make you very woozy," the Healer checked the injury, now reduced and barely discernible. The potion would help out the inner ear's balance.
"Do you mind telling me what happened?" Snape asked.
Barnes looked up sharply, "Don't remember?" he asked.
"Well, I walked into the dungeons and I recall falling. Mr. Malfoy seemed to be there at one point," the wizard swallowed, closing his eyes hoping the potion would hurry up and take effect before he lost the contents of his stomach.
Barnes carefully placed a hand on the roiling stomach willing it to calm down.
"You fell, hit your head against a table. Had a marvelous knot on your left temple. Mr. Malfoy got an ice pack on it quick enough. Then he and Mr. Goyle gave your second years an assignment on energy potions. Albus agreed, by the way, and we brought you up here," Barnes concluded.
"I nearly fell before lunch, too. I sent you a note," Snape opened an eye to look at the Healer.
"Yes, I had received it just before 12:30 and came over to see you about that. I'd run into Albus and missed you at lunch," Barnes explained.
"Stevens must have sent the owl before he ate," Snape mused. It was a nice gesture.
"I want to scan you, feel well enough to be moved?" Barnes inquired. Snape opened both eyes and thought about it.
"Yes, actually, the nausea is gone," Snape seemed surprised.
With a slight chuckle the Healer moved blankets away and levitated his patient.
"It's cold!" Snape complained, wanting his blankets back.
"Want some cheese with that whine?" Barnes teased, earning a sharp glare.
"Don't worry, I'll bring your blankies," he continued, bringing both his patient and covers to the lounge. The Healer reclined back and settled Snape over him then arranged the covers.
Although the Potions Master felt silly when the Healer did this he snugged down into the warm body and sighed happily as the covers were magically heated. Barnes mentally noted the wizard was chilled before beginning his scan.
When Dumbledore returned the two men were still wrapped up together in the gathering gloom. He waved on lights and pulled a chair near them. From the sound of it the Healer had also fallen asleep. The Headmaster quelled a snicker, but before he could sit down his office door opened and a large black dog bounded in.
"Hello, Sirius," the Headmaster greeted. He watched Black transform into his human form. The animagus glanced over the two men sprawled together with a quizzical, and disapproving, look.
"Severus fell again today. Nasty crack to his head. Dr. Barnes came over from Hogsmeade to work on him," Dumbledore said by way of explanation.
"Pretty comfy," Black managed. Dumbledore was confused at first, then pulled back a little surprised.
"Sirius, Dr. Barnes is a full Healer. He scans his patients and works on his patients through energy bursts. He's just fallen asleep working on Severus," the Headmaster further explained. Black looked on, rather dubious. Dumbledore changed the topic.
"Anything to report?" he asked indicating Black should take a chair.
"Hagrid and I each found a token today," the animagus took the leather pouch off of his neck and held it out to the Headmaster. He sat on the edge of the chair uncomfortable in the room. Especially with Snape lying before him sound asleep.
"Both animals were dead, a rabbit and a squirrel," he continued shifting his eyes to the Headmaster. "Hagrid has the students looking when they come out for classes with him and Professor Sprout."
"That makes four," sighed Dumbledore. Black fidgeted and then stood up.
"I'm going to see Remus," he said. "I'll stop by tomorrow afternoon." Black moved towards the door, shifting back into his animagus form before any protests could be made. He slipped out quickly.
"Well, he certainly wasn't friendly tonight," Dr. Barnes dryly observed from under his patient.
"Oh, Sirius still isn't happy about Severus being in my confidence," Dumbledore tossed out.
"Why don't I trust him?" mused the Healer. "If I didn't know he was out patrolling I'd say he had something to do with Severus's rash of trips." Dumbledore just stared at the younger man with a hint of exasperation.
"You've been talking with Severus too long, Jeffrey!" the Headmaster snapped. "Did he suggest that to you?"
"No, he hasn't said a word about Black," Barnes quickly said. "He was worried he was blacking out as a residual effect of too many curses." The older man's face soften slightly.
"Good. Sirius promised he would not harass Severus. I trust him completely," Dumbledore said firmly. Now that he'd set Barnes straight he leaned over and gently stroked Snape's hair.
"How's he doing?" he asked quietly.
"Fine. Just a little nauseated when he woke. He'll be back teaching in the morning," the Healer reported. "He's still chilled though. He should probably sleep with you for the night if that's ok."
"Of course," Dumbledore.
