A Promise to be Better 28
Author: Raven Dancer
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.
Summary: three strikes?
Snape walked out of Hogwarts and began moving towards Hogsmeade. He could go to Barnes, he supposed. Barnes would at least stay with him until the pain subsided.
But what good was that? He was just Barnes' patient. The Healer was obligated to help him, wasn't he? His head was beginning to throb, joining the burning arm.
As he neared the edge of the grounds he slowed. Maybe he could go back to his rooms and wait for Dumbledore. Didn't he say he'd be down later? Snape's face fell.
No, the Headmaster said he should take care of it himself.
Sent him away.
Dumbledore had his Gryffindors back. Why the hell did he need or even want Snape? *I'm nothing, nothing*, he raggedly drew in a deep breath.
Why was he here? Voldemort wanted him.
True, Voldemort wanted to torture him and watch him writhe in pain, but he wanted him. No one else did.
*Voldemort doesn't want me either*, Snape moved into the edge of the forest that was near the road. He sat down against a tree and curled his arms around his knees.
If he sat very still and didn't move it would all go away. Just don't move. After a few minutes the pain increased and he looked at his dark mark wearily.
No, it would not go away. It would keep hurting until Albus took away the pain. But Albus wouldn't take it away. He only annoyed and disappointed Albus. He was worthless.
Snape remembered Black sitting there with a tea cup talking with Albus. Albus loved Black, he protected the animagus. Gave him a job protecting Hogwarts. Snape couldn't do that. Snape couldn't do anything to help the school.
*worthless worthless worthless* echoed in his aching head.
But Snape could go back to Voldemort. What did he have to loose? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. If he were particularly lucky Voldemort would kill him when he finished. He stood and apparated.
Gibbons stood on the porch watching the grounds before him. Snape would never be stupid enough to show. At least, he hoped Snape wouldn't show. Voldemort was angry tonight. He wanted some sport. Even Pettigrew was hiding from the dark mage.
"Any sight of the bastard?" Malfoy growled as he joined Gibbons on the porch. He had been summoned earlier to discuss a new 'project' but Voldemort had thrown him out of the room without comment after becoming frustrated.
"No. He's not going to show," the other man answered.
"Only a fool would come, " Malfoy growled. Gibbons shrugged. Voldemort was powerful and was gaining strength all the time. This preoccupation with getting a hold of Snape was unsettling. He was beginning to doubt his decision to join the death eaters, as strong as they were.
"Well, I'll be inside. Getting cold out here," Malfoy turned and entered the mansion.
Gibbons leaned against the post. The hell if he'd go inside to listen to Malfoy pontificate on his purity crap. As he considered what he would like to do to the 'pure' Mr. Malfoy a wizard apparated in the yard.
Snape!
What the hell did the idiot think he was doing? Gibbons quickly walked off the porch and approached Snape. Oh, did the wizard look bad!
"Severus, I'm surprised," Gibbons watched as Snape gathered himself to his full height.
"I was called, Gibbons," Snape barely looked at the man as he walked to the mansion. He was inconsequential.
"Yes, but you didn't have to come. You ignored it before," Gibbons pointed out.
"Well, I'm not ignoring it now. Lord Voldemort has called me. Here I am," Snape stepped into the mansion.
"You'll need to wait. The lord asked me to announce any arrivals," Gibbons hurriedly said.
"You've been promoted, haven't you Gibbons," Snape drawled sarcastically.
"Just wait here," Gibbons ground out, leaving the Hogwarts' spy in the sitting room.
Gibbons continued deeper into the mansion towards the parlor where Voldemort brooded. The Dark Lord preferred three different rooms. Tonight, the old dining room.
"My lord, Severus Snape has arrived," he said with a very slight bow. Announcing visitors was actually a fairly safe job and it allowed him run of the mansion. He could hear all sorts of interesting things, too.
Like the plan to capture certain aurors. That was a nice piece of information. One that would be good to send back to Dumbledore with Gibbon's name behind it. He wondered if Snape would survive this encounter.
"Severus is here?" Voldemort was delighted. Actually quite a frightening sight in Gibbon's estimation. There was a twisted, disgusting element that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Nor did he really want to.
"Yes, lord. Shall I show him in?" he asked in his most unpressing tones.
"Where is Severus now?" Voldemort asked nearly eagerly. Gibbons suddenly thought he knew what that element was and wished he hadn't thought of it.
"He's in the sitting room, lord," Gibbons reported.
"I will go to him," the dark mage said decisively, "assist me."
Gibbons went to the seated creature and helped him stand up. Although he was the most powerful wizard Gibbons ever had met (he'd not met Dumbledore, so he couldn't compare the feelings of substantive powers) Voldemort hadn't completely mastered his own new body.
Once upright the dark lord was more than able to make his way through the mansion. Gibbons shadowed his master do~wn the stairs into the grand entrance. It must have been an impressive room back in its heyday. Now it was filthy, covered in webs and moldering in disuse.
Voldemort paused and Gibbons walked by him. It was his job to announce the dark lord's entrance into any room. With a bow at the door, Gibbons swept it open and
Froze. Damn!
Screams filled the air as he looked into the sitting room. It seemed Snape had not been alone. Lucius Malfoy sat in Lord Voldemort's winged chair, wand out, with the same lustfully demonic gaze fixed on his face as Voldemort got when he tortured various beings.
This was not good. Plus Gibbons could not hide.
Voldemort silently roared into the room, his presence towering over all three wizards.
"FINITUM!" he bellowed, releasing Snape from the cruciatus curse that had wrung him out. He nudged the limp body with his foot. Blood dripped from the wizard's nose as he drew great, ragged breaths of air in.
"Gibbons, see to Severus," Voldemort turned away. There was too much for Gibbons to see, muscles were spasming from the curse, sweaty hair clung to the wizard's pale face. The blood stood out bright red against the black and white.
Lucius Malfoy slowly moved himself out of the chair, assuming the position of servitude he so wanted Snape to have take before him. But Snape hadn't prostrated himself, had fought the curse. Fought the curse without any sound for delicious long moments. Twisting and twitching on the ground. Malfoy licked his lips at the memory wondering if it was actually going to be worth it once the dark lord was done with him.
With barely concealed rage Voldemort stood over Malfoy. This one couldn't compare to Snape. This one started screaming nearly immediately. This one soiled himself within the first minutes. Snape, Snape! That one was sooo delicious in his torment, twisted and fought the curse. Held out through several applications. The sweat, the groveling, the hips. Oh, those hips!
Voldemort had not yet gained complete control over this new body, had not yet experienced again all the pleasures the flesh could give. He'd tried. Unsuccessfully. Neither female or male had kept him interested for long.
But Snape. Last summer he'd held out so long. Voldemort remembered removing Snape's robes one by one between applications of the cruciatus. Down to his skin, slick with sweat, prostrate on the ground finally begging to be released from the pain. Voldemort felt something stirring.
Glancing over at Snape the dark lord wondered idly if he could take the wizard now. But his toy was broken. There was no sport in taking a body so near death. Instead Voldemort turned his attention to Malfoy.
"He'd better not die, Lucius. You could never begin to pay me for the loss of Snape," Voldemort hissed.
"Eneverate," Gibbons murmured, waiting for a response. He repeated the charm once more, wondering if it were too late. After a point there was no waking up. Finally dull eyes opened and looked around.
"Come on Severus, Lord Voldemort is waiting!" the wizard growled encouragingly. Snape continued to look at the sitting room, then at the dark lord himself.
A very disappointed Voldemort. With a moan Snape turned over and flopped on his face. At the least he didn't see Malfoy.
Snape had known the dark lord found him 'appealing', but the very thought of Malfoy touching him sickened him more if that were possible. He had not liked what Voldemort had nearly done to him last summer.
"My lord, I'm sorry. I came, but," and Snape began to retch as his stomach rebelled. *But I can't even please the dark lord! I'm worthless!* Snape lamented to himself.
Voldemort was not able to hear the internal dialogue, nor would he have been interested if he had; he spoke to Gibbons.
"Return him. He is useless to me now!" and then he looked at Malfoy.
"But you, Lucius," Voldemort said in a soft, oily voice that made flesh crawl, "you Lucius will provide me with some sorely needed entertainment, won't you?"
Quickly levitating Snape, Gibbons fled the room and closed the door as quickly as he dared. He quelled a revolted shiver as he took his trembling burden outside. The cold air seemed to do more to revive the wizard and soon he was standing.
"Better, Severus?" Gibbons asked. Snape only nodded.
"Well, I'll see you back to Hogwarts and they'll take care of you," he tried a hand at soothing the wretched figure next to him, but the comment only seem to make it worse.
Gibbons had to go so far as to hold Snape tight so he wouldn't collapse and apparated the two of them into the Forbidden Forest. Once there he easily pushed Snape on the path to the castle.
"Severus, tell Dumbledore that the death eaters are going after three aurors," Gibbons told Snape firmly.
"They've targeted Rennet, Sylvan and Matthias," the death eater continued as he tugged Snape further down the pat.
"They're loners, no one will miss them for days. Voldemort wants to question them and then kill them. You need to tell Dumbledore to protect them!" Gibbons looked at Snape. Had he heard?
"Severus?" he nudged the seriously flagging wizard. "Did you hear me?"
"Rennet, Sylvan and Matthias. Targeted. Need to protect them," Snape repeated succinctly.
"Look, old man, I know you hurt plenty right now, but you'll be back to Albus soon. That Healer, Barnes, will be around too. You'll be fine," Gibbons soothed, wondering why he felt compelled to do so.
"It doesn't matter. They don't want me. I'm useless to the Headmaster. I'm useless to Voldemort. I'm best off dead," Snape said dully, stumbling over exposed roots. The blood had stopped flowing, but his face and hands were still red and sticky. Gibbons stared at the Potions Master. Oh damn! He hadn't counted on this! Snape lost favor with Dumbledore? That couldn't be true. And Voldemort actually did want him, but only if he were healthy enough to torture and rape. *gods, that's a horrible thought!*
"Severus, you're not useless. You've got this vital bit of information! You're a good spy, even Voldemort thinks you're good for that!" Gibbons lied quickly. His only chance at getting the information back was through Snape.
"Information? About the aurors?" Snape asked confused.
"Yes, Rennet, Sylvan and Matthias! You are their only hope! You need to tell Dumbledore. He'll be pleased, Severus, very pleased, with you then!" Gibbons played on Snape's desperate desire to be accepted by the Headmaster. For a moment the death eater was afraid Snape was going to cry. But the wizard finally pulled himself upright and moved away from him.
"I can go on from here, Gibbons," Snape announced. Gibbons was not sure, but decided to let him go on. They were closer to the school now and that put him in danger.
"Ok, Severus. Just continue down the path and let Albus know," he bowed slightly. With a nod Snape moved on. Gibbons watched him stumble.
*I'm going to send an owl immediately,* he told himself as he apparated not to the Manor, but to Hogsmeade. With Malfoy 'indisposed' there was no chance anyone would be watching Gibbons now. He looked about the empty square, then moved towards the warm light spilling out of the Three Broomsticks.
Jeffrey Barnes nearly ran up the moving stairs to the Headmaster's office. Snape had gone missing. No matter what the circumstances Dumbledore would be at the least worried. The Healer wasn't expecting complete collapse.
As he entered the room he saw Lupin and Black sitting near Harry, who was standing next to a shaking, crying, Dumbledore. Without a word the Healer strode up to the Headmaster and gathered him into his arms.
"ssshh, it's ok Albus," he soothed, gently sending enough energy to help calm the older wizard.
"N-n-n-o, it's n-n-not! I sent him away, Jeffrey! I sent him to die," Dumbledore sniffed, not even trying to stop crying. Barnes looked questioningly over at the now clustered group of wizards. Why wasn't he surprised to see Black in the thick of things?
"Snape came up to see the Headmaster privately, but I wouldn't let him," Black said haltingly. The sight of the invincible older wizard so hurt and lost was horrible.
"We think Voldemort was summoning Professor Snape," Harry added.
"He didn't want me to know," Black said, "Dumbledore insisted he speak in front of me, and when he wouldn't he told him to go downstairs and take care of it himself." The animagus was just beginning to understand the gravity of the situation and was unable to move, frozen in place as he spoke.
"We think he's gone on to Voldemort, since he didn't go into Hogsmeade to you," Lupin said quietly. Barnes continued to hold Dumbledore, now pulling the older wizard onto the couch with him. The Healer began to rock slowly as he quickly formulated plans.
"Remus, you need to have the house elves look for Severus. They are in the Forbidden Forest, too. Hopefully one of them saw something. Harry, send a message to the clinic, to my father James. Tell him to keep an eye out for Severus on the off chance he did go into town," Barnes watched as Lupin and the student moved to action. His eyes then fell on Black.
"Bring me my satchel, Black," he said gruffly. As much as he had wanted the man exposed as the culprit, he did not want Dumbledore to be this hurt. Nor did he want Snape in so much danger. Mute, the animagus brought the bag and held it open as the Healer rummaged a bit, finally pulling out a vial. Indicating to Black to remove the bag, Barnes opened the vial carefully.
"Albus? I need to give you some potion to help you calm down," Barnes said quietly. He managed to roll Albus's head off his shoulder; tears still slipping down the older man's cheeks. The Healer got the vial between his teeth and tipped it in. Sputtering, Dumbledore swallowed the bitter brew. Tossing the empty vial aside he watched the Headmaster's face a moment.
"There, Albus. Feel better?" Barnes asked calmly. Tears had stopped for the most part and the dull blue eyes opened, looking around the room.
"Damn you and your damned potions," Dumbledore cursed, head clearing, "and damn me thrice for being an old fool."
"Sorry, I'm in the healing business. I don't do dams," Barnes gently quipped. The Headmaster just glared.
"You need to get yourself together, for Severus. He's going to need you when he gets back," Barnes continued.
"If he gets back," Dumbledore whispered sadly.
"He'll come back, you know Severus. He loves you," Barnes said and with Black's help the Headmaster stood up. The Healer quelled immediately the despondency that threatened to rise up within himself. Snape couldn't die. Not like this.
"What did you give me, Jeffrey?" Dumbledore felt like his veins ran with ice. Cold, uncaring. He knew he should be very upset but he just couldn't.
"Just something to quell those emotions of yours," Barnes said as he went to ring for tea. This left the Headmaster standing with Black. For a moment Barnes thought he'd made a very bad move, but the older wizard merely glared and then walked over to the table, seated himself and waited for the tea.
"How long has Severus been gone?" Barnes asked no one in particular.
"An hour? Give or take," Lupin said as he sat next to the Headmaster.
"We're in for a long night, then," the Healer remarked as the tea came up. A plate of fruit and cheese joined the basket of breads. Harry reached over and began to munch on apple and cheese. Black smiled slightly at his godson. His godson looked away.
It was nearly three hours later, with Harry curled up on the lounge fast asleep against his godfather, when the owl came. There was a tapping at the window, insistent tapping, and Barnes roused himself from the couch to open it. The small brown owl, one that both Lupin and Barnes recognized from the Three Broomsticks, fluttered over to the Headmaster and proffered his message.
Dumbledore unfolded the parchment, slowly sitting up straighter as he read the message.
"He's back, worse for wear, but he's back!" the Headmaster held the message out for the Healer to read.
"Left in the Forbidden Forest same place as last. Has message for you. Bring Barnes." he handed the note over to Lupin.
"We need to go get him," Lupin stood up followed by the Healer. Dumbledore seemed frozen on the couch.
"Albus, we need to go," Barnes said gently.
"What's going to happen?" Dumbledore shook slightly, the potion had worn off.
"He could just come back to us as if nothing had changed," Barnes mused, "but, unfortunately, he's probably going to be distant and hurt and untouchable. Don't react if he shies away, Albus. He's hurt on many levels."
It was after midnight and very, very cold. It had not snowed, but it might by the week's end. They had woken Black; his animagus nose would be very helpful. Harry had been left asleep wrapped in warm blankets.
"Do you think he could have already come in?" asked Lupin as he stood shivering in the starlight. The moon was in her la
st quarter and had no effect on him.
"No, the elves would have told us," Dumbledore said shortly. They watched Black casting about for a scent. In the distance a wolf bayed in the forest.
"We need to find him," Lupin remarked and began to move towards the darkness. They stilled again as twigs snapped and leaves rustled. Something large was coming their way, coming to the edge of the forest. The three wizards stopped, although 'Snuffles' raised his head and barked several times.
Out of the shadows Firenze strode, a tall and imposing centaur.
"Headmaster Dumbledore, I have someone to return to
you," the creature spoke gravely, moving further out into the pale moonlight. On his back, leaning heavily against the centaur's human-like torso, was Severus Snape.
