A Promise to be Better 34

Author: Raven Dancer

disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.

Summary: regaining trust

It was warm. Someone was soothing their hand over his hair. Snape leaned into the person, listening to the heartbeat, the quiet whoosh of breath when they noticed he was waking. The slight rumble of amusement as he nestled in. It was safe here.

As he became more awake memories returned and he frowned. What about his arm? It had been cut pretty badly. He'd done it himself. Shifting slightly he managed to move the left arm up and he peered at it drowsily. It was heavily taped.

"Does that hurt, child?" the soft voice murmured and he shook his head 'no'. He touched the part he'd sliced, but there was still no pain.

"Dr. James fixed it for you, Severus. Let me know if it hurts and I will make it feel better," the soft voice said. The hand was now running up and down his back while he glanced about the room. Headmaster's living room. Orange-yellow spikes of flame licked lazily around several logs. Snape contented himself watching the flames dance for several minutes as the hand continued to soothe him.

Dumbledore was pleased Snape allowed him to care for him. He would gladly sit the rest of the afternoon and evening just like this, letting the ill man watch the fire, if that was what he wanted.

Several professors had again stopped in, mostly out of curiosity since Snape had definitively been taken out of his teaching assignment and a potions instructor from Beauxbaton had come to take over. McGonagall reported some insignificant details about winter break which was coming up, but she dispensed with that formality quickly and spent nearly an hour herself tending to Snape while Dumbledore had showered and changed into fresh robes.

It was a dear scene, the old witch had sat against the lounge in a chair and read aloud to the somnolent man. Indulging himself, Dumbledore listened as her lilting voice traveled over the well loved story. Snape had curled towards her, holding on to her hand in his sleep. She'd kissed his forehead when she left, promising another chapter of 'Wind in the Willows", the next time she visited.

As he idly traced small circles on Snape's back he heard the door open yet again. Looking up he froze, then tried unsuccessfully to relax again and not transmit his shock and anger to the resting wizard.

Snuffles came in, then transformed to Black, pulling the pouch off of his neck. He looked at the two men resting on the lounge and tooled his face into frosty indifference. The animagus moved towa^rds the fire.

"I need to talk with you a few minutes, Headmaster," Black growled, trying not to glare. The calm that had held Snape relaxed against him was broken and he struggled up shivering.

"I will go down to my rooms, Headmaster Dumbledore," Snape's voice cracked as he spoke and Black sneered sensing the weakness. The older man quickly put his hand on the ill wizard's shoulder.

"No, child, I want you to stay here, don't try to leave. You need to stay with me," the Headmaster tried to soothe Snape, but the younger wizard would have none of it and moved off the lounged, agitated. Both Black and Dumbledore watched as he lurched to the door first: it wouldn't open and feeling trapped he moved to the bedroom door. It too, would not open.

Black could feel the fear building, the desire to run and hide screamed from the Snape's body. For all he cared the idiot could bolt.

"Severus, just find a quiet corner to settle down. After I talk with Sirius we'll have a little tea," Dumbledore soothed. They both watched as Snape's eyes darted around the room finally settling on a spot near the bookcases by a window. He slunk around the edge of the room, as far away from the others as possible, and slid down by the window. The Headmaster levitated warmed blankets around the ill wizard and smiled slightly as Snape allowed the soft warmth to envelop him, pulling the edges around his body snugly.

Turning most of his attention back to Black, and rather annoyed attention at that, Dumbledore waited. His stern demeanor was unsettling to the animagus. He paced a few times in front of the fire before sitting down on the edge of the the couch.

"You've charmed the doors then?" Black inquired.

"Only to keep Severus safe. What do you need to see me about? the Headmaster said tersely. Black offered the pouch.

"Two more, a chain and a collar. Hagrid said to mention he saw some strange birds on the grounds, too. But he can't decide if it meant trouble or not," Black reported. He wished Dumbledore would offer him tea. Would talk with him. The Headmaster levitated the tray of tokens off the mantle and added the new pieces to the collection.

"Makes an even dozen," he mused, looking at the new pieces. 8 had already been sent to the Ministry for analysis. Dumbledore looked at the animagus again, waiting for any additional report. When it finally looked like that was all the Headmaster pushed up and moved toward Snape.

Snape quietly listened to the two wizards discussing the tokens while he watched the children playing on the cold lawn. It looked as if they were playing Quidditch. He could make out Malfoy: the blonde widow's peak stood out against the dark ground. And Potter with an assortment of Weasleys.

The Potter boy seemed to have found something in the dirt. A Weasley, probably Ron, had engaged in a wrestling match over whatever it had been. It was short lived as something got their attention, looked like the twins had flown by and the lot of them headed for an open space to play a quick game.

The Potions Master heard movement near him and drew back as the Headmaster came close. Seeing the fear Dumbledore refrained from getting too close but merely sat in the chair on the other side of the window frame. Snape began picking at the wrappings on his arm nervously.

Black narrowed his eyes at the two men. Why did the old man bother? The Snape was broken. It was very apparent he'd gone starkers in any event. He should be shipped to St. Mungo's!

Plus the fact Dumbledore had simply walked away from him. No tea. No talk. Just took the tokens and wandered over to the damnable Snape.

Oh, ok! He probably deserved that, having pulled all those pranks on Snape. From what Lupin tried to explain all the stress helped cause him to break. Black felt he-who-should-not-be-named deserved the lion's share of that blame!

But Black was still slightly confused about the mixed messages he perceived. It had been ok to pull those pranks before. The Headmaster had even laughed about the old times. He knew now the pranks were not tolerated. Black didn't know exactly why, but they weren't.

Everyone, everyone! including Remus and even Harry (for gods' sakes) were favoring the Snape on this one! They all expressed deep concern and checked after him on a daily basis. Snape! They cared about Snape! Black had a difficult time twisting his thoughts around that.

Pathetic. The way the creature twisted his hands together and plucked at himself. Afraid of his shadow. Afraid he was going to be knocked senseless. Did the idiot really think Dumbledore would raise a finger to hurt him? No. Dumbledore would let him curl up in his lap like some frightened child and sing to him.

Why did that make his head hurt more?

"Headmaster? Is there anything else I can do for you?" Black tried his most Gryffindor tones of concern. Dumbledore watched Snape flinch then glanced across at Black.

"No, Sirius. I am just going to get something for Severus to eat and think about an early evening. Why don't you go down and wait for Harry and Remus? It's nearly dinner time; they'll be back to the rooms soon," Dumbledore said dismissively. Black grunted.

"Right then. I'll be by tomorrow," he watched the Headmaster lean towards Snape and whisper softly, trying to get his attention more than likely. Transforming back into Snuffles, Black left.

"What do you see out there, Severus?" Dumbledore asked gently, hoping to draw the ill wizard out.

"I, I was watching the students play a little quidditch. I saw Potter and Malfoy.." Snape suddenly dropped off as the thought of Lucius crossed his mind. He shook as the memory of being tortured held a moment. Whimpering he began to curl up into a tight ball.

Jeffrey Barnes pushed into the Headmaster's offices having been summoned. He was a bit out of breath as he tossed cloak and satchel onto a nearby chair before moving across the room to join Dumbledore.

"Sorry, Jeffrey, I just didn't know what was happening here," he helplessly indicated the tight ball of misery currently crying and rocking against the shelves. The force of Snape's rocking had knocked off several books and Dumbledore had finally just moved everything off to protect the wizard.

Barnes crouched low and watched Snape for a moment.

"What happened just before he went into the fit?" the Healer asked. Dumbledore explained Black had visited, but that hadn't been the problem. Something about Potter or Malfoy.

At the mention of the name "Malfoy" Snape actually jerked hard into the shelves again. Barnes looked at Dumbledore then rose and went to the computer in the corner.

"I sent a message to Dad. He said he'd wait a bit in case I had a question. I figure that name has no significance for you?" Barnes asked and received a negative shake of the Headmaster's head.

"Just the fact he's another death eater and father of one of our students," Dumbledore reported as he kept an eye on Snape.

"Hmmm. According to Dad somebody named 'Lucius' did the actual torturing, not Voldemort," Barnes mused as he read the return message.

"That would be the M person," the older wizard sighed. He turned fully to Snape.

"Oh, Severus, you are safe here, right here, with me and Jeffrey. We won't let anyone get you. No one will. We will keep you safe, child," Dumbledore soothed, hoping to get through. Barnes moved by him and repeated the litany. Slowly the trembling ball loosened and frightened eyes peered out at them. Encouraged, Dumbledore sat down on the floor nearby with Jeffrey in the chair behind him. Each tried to look as gentle and harmless as possible.

"Child, come, it will be just fine. Let's get you warmed and have some dinner. Would you like some soup? Maybe some baked chicken and vegetables? Dobby would love to bring you dinner," the Headmaster tried. Arms finally lowered from Snape's face and he looked at both men.

"Headmaster? Dr. Barnes?" he managed, receiving warm smiles from both. Dumbledore held open his arms.

"Come here, young one," he encouraged and waited patiently while a myriad of emotions, fear and longing especially, chased over Snape's face. But finally longing won and he crawled across the gap and into Dumbledore's arms snuffling.

Barnes leaned over and began stroking Snape's hair before slipping onto the floor behind him and running hands over the crying man's back. Nestled in warmth the wizard finally felt safe.