"Quicksand" - La Roux

You're the upsetter / Stroking my hand / What's my position? / I don't understand / Am I your possession? / Am I in demand ?/ Oh when you turn to me / I'm in the Quicksand


Figure this: my mom gets remarried to an asshole and now we have to move because he wants to be closer to his family in fucking Washington. Now why the fuck do I have to go? I'll tell you why, because the world just seems to love to torment me.

"Danni, please," my mom said as we where pulling up to our new house in La Push. "Be nice to Liam. He's trying to bond with you, but you just keep pushing him away."

I whipped my head to face her in disbelief. That man has made no attempt to bond with me at all. Does, "Danni, I'm watchin' the game if you want to also" sound like a plea to bond? No, it sounds like someone just letting you know what they're doing. And the only reason I said no was because I hate the 49ers, who were playing. I didn't really feel like arguing with my mom right now though, so I just kept my mouth shut. Seriously, she was so blinded by her love for Liam that she can't see why I'm so angry all the time and why my sister Yasmine went to live in Atlanta with our dad. The only reason I didn't go was because I didn't want my mom to be lonely, so I stayed.

I thought that the school would be cool since it's really small. I assumed that everyone would be closely knit together in a happy little learning community, but I was wrong. People made it a point that I didn't belong because of my heritage and the way I look. Some girl was all bragging about her new Gucci shoes and I laughed and asked why the fuck she would pay around $200 for a pair of shoes when Payless has some on sale for only $5. I mean really, do you need to spend a lot for some lame name brand thing?

Then some little emo bitch told me I'd look really cute in eyeliner, but I declined saying I don't wear make up. She was like, "Oh, you're one of them."

"Who?" I asked.

"A lesbian.'

I was taken aback and looked at her like she had grown another head. "What the hell? Why would think that?"

"Well," she shrugged, "you don't wear make up and your hair's in a boring pony tail."

It took all of my self-control to not smack that bitch where she stood right then. Instead I just snapped, "Bitch! I ain't no fucking lesbian. And because you look like a fucking raccoon with all that eye liner and your stupid emo hair looks like it got caught in a weed-whacker doesn't mean everyone else's' has to!"

The girl, I'd later learn her name was Cassandra, just shrugged and walked off. When I left the bathroom where we were talking, I found her pointing at me and telling her friend, some fat-ass who thought she was sexy, that I licked pussy.

Fatty, named Amanda, laughed and proceeded to tell everyone in the hallway, thus dubbing me the school-lesbian. Whatever, I'd just plan some sort of revenge and get them back later…stupid whores.

I then walked into the lunch room and planned to have a peaceful and solitary meal, when some meathead jock came up to me and tried to pick me up on a date. Save your breath Steroid-head! I'm way too valuable to waste my time with you. I later felt a little bad for him the next week when I had heard his girlfriend broke up with him.

That's why the next time he sat down next to me, I tried to have a conversation with him.

"Hey," the guy said. I learned his name was Paul by everyone asking where he was last week. He had copied my pizza idea, except he had gotten way more slices than I did. I read in a magazine once that bodybuilders usually ate a lot. Liam tried bulking up three weeks ago, so he bought a muscle magazine, and I'll admit it, I took that magazine to the bathroom with me a few times. I'm not too proud to admit it.

"'Sup?" I asked, even jerking my head like I've seen the jocks here do. I looked up at Paul's face to show him that I was willing to talk with him. He seriously looked too old to be at this school, at least as a student. Okay, so he didn't look exactly thirty, but I would believe twenty-five or twenty-six.

Paul didn't respond and only stared at me with his jaw hanging open.

"Dude?" I said, leaning over and waving my hand in front of his face to snap him out of whatever daze he was in. "You okay?"

Paul shook his head real fast and cleared his throat. "Er, yeah. I'm just still a little under the weather. That's why I wasn't here last week."

I cocked my eyebrow. "You were sick?" I asked. I hope it was past-tense. If you're sick, please don't drag your diseased ass to school and infect me.

Paul just nodded.

I smirked at him. "Oh. I thought you were in the bathroom or detention." Okay, so that was a little mean on my part, but I thought it was really funny.

Paul was silent for a little bit and just continued to stare at me for a while.

"Dyke," some loser coughed from behind me.

I rolled my eyes. "I guess you're a lesbian now if you like sports and hate make up," I shrugged.

"Have people been saying that you're a lesbian?" Paul asked me. I saw him start to clench his fists a little bit. Uh, maybe it just his stomach bothering him.

I nodded. "Yea, I keep saying I'm not, but these dumb asses don't like to listen." Seriously, I've told people over and over, but fucking Cassandra and Amanda had to go and fuck things up for my social life.

Paul shot out of his seat, his face red with anger and his body shaking a little bit with rage. At first, I thought he was going to go kick that guy's ass, but instead he reached over and grabbed my arm, pulling me up on top of the table with him in front of the whole cafeteria. I tried to yank my arm out of his grip, but Paul is like super-strong or something. Fucking Hulk-wannabe.

"HEY ASSHOLES!" he yelled out and got the students inside to turn and look at him with shock. One nerdy kid didn't turn around, so Paul threw an apple at him.

Paul then cleared his throat. "Anyone who dares fucks with Danni will have their asses kicked by me!"

I looked out at the frightened crowd who had their terrified eyes glued on us. With one swift movement, I yanked my arm out of Paul's grasp and ran out of the cafeteria and all the way home in embarrassment. I couldn't bear the thought of what people are going to say about me when I get back to school. That I can't fight my own battles. That Paul's up my ass.

That night was the first time I had night sweats. I don't know why they happen. Every morning I just wake up feeling overheated and I'm kind of sweaty and smell all musky, like a man would after he ran a lot. I even started to wear deodorant to bed, but I still wake up hot and sweaty, even when I have my fan on or the window wide open. Then even one time I had a dream a fucking policeman snuck into my room and held me to him in the middle of the night. Maybe I'm going crazy.

Anyways, when I went to school the day after Paul decided to give an ultimatum to the entire student body, nobody talked to me. I even walked by Cassandra and Amanda and they said nothing. I turned around and walked in front of them again, and still nothing happened. "What the hell?' I wondered to myself. I turned around again for a third time and this time I faced them and stuck out my tongue. "Rotten, stanky cunts!" I spat. Still, they said nothing, and instead ran off to their class.

At first I was happy this was happening until in science when we had to get into partners, the girl assigned to me started to cry because she said and I quote "Paul's going to kick my ass!" Fucking Paul ruining my school life!

I ignored him at lunch. I walked by the table, looking the other way when he stood up and flagged me down. I went into the girls' bathroom and ate in one of the stalls, feeling like Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls. Everyday though, Paul kept trying to get me to sit with him at lunch, and I just ignored him and walked the other way to my stall; the handicapped one due to the extra space.

One day in March I was walking outside to go to the office to give them a doctor's note when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder.

"Why are you avoiding me?" Paul asked as he spun me around to face him.

I glanced around and saw that we were the only ones outside. "No I'm not," I lied, feeling a little nervous to be all alone with this man. He was freakin' buff and I wasn't that strong. I used to be able to take all the boys down in elementary, but that was before they started the working out phase.

Paul's expression turned…sad? "Yes you are," he said. "You walk away from me and turn the other way when I look at you. Why?"

I sighed. "Because, you had to go and embarrass me in front of the whole school and now no one wants to hang with me," I whined.

"I'll be your friend," Paul said, looking hopeful, "or maybe even something more." He then slid his hand down my arm and grabbed onto my hand.

I yanked my hand away and slapped him across the face, actually hurting myself a bit. "No way!"

Paul got down on his knees. "Please," he begged. "Please forgive me! It kills me to know you're mad at me!"

"You made me a loner!" I shrieked and then stomped off to the office, leaving Paul all by himself.

After that, he gave me some space and he eventually graduated and I thought I'd never have to see him again.

My sophomore year went great. I met a girl who went to the high school in Forks named Lauren and the two of us would always have a good time going out and teasing people or trash-talking who we know.

Now in senior year, we made a Facebook account for this girl she knows, named Bella, and we posted that she has herpes and then we made one for Amanda and Cassandra and posted some photo-shopped pictures of them. I made Cassandra have acne and a pointy chin and I put Amanda's head on a cow's body.

They found out though and called the police for harassment. And who had to come to my house to tell me to delete the accounts? Fucking Officer Paul Meraz!

I heard a knock on the door and when I answered it, I was disappointed to see the police, but WAY more disappointed to see that it was Paul.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded, sounding a little rude, which caused my mom to come downstairs.

"Daniela Marie Chapman, where are your manners?" she asked, and then a look of shock came across her face when she saw the cop. "What did you do?" she immediately asked me.

"Nothing!" I yelled. "This is just Paul. He used to go to my school!"

My mom sighed with relief. "Oh thank God."

Paul cleared his throat and I couldn't help but notice how his biceps strained at the sleeves of his uniform and how the buttons looked like they were about to pop off his broad chest. Did he seriously have to show off his body to everyone? Man-whore. "Actually," Paul said, "it's Officer Meraz when I'm on duty."

I rolled my eyes at his arrogant self. "Whatever."

My mom hit the back of my head. "Be nice," she hissed. Then she totally put on a nice voice when she turned back to Paul, "how can we help you?"

Paul looked at me and smirked. "It seems Danni here made fake accounts on Facebook for some girls to harass them."

My mouth dropped in shock. "What the fuck?" I yelled. "Are you serious? For real? Those bitches called me a lesbian for most of my school career and when I fight back, it's wrong?"

My mom just shook her head. "Sweetie," she said, "you should've just tried to sit down with them and talk things out."

"Well, I'm here to confiscate your laptop," Paul said as he held up a piece of paper. "I've got the warrant right here." He then handed the warrant to my mom and entered the house and went upstairs. I ran after him as he entered my room, somehow knowing exactly where it was. He even knew where I kept my laptop and just picked it up and put it under his arm.

"When can I have it back?" I asked.

"As soon as we go through it and delete the accounts you made."

"How long will that be?"

"A couple of weeks."

I felt my blood start to boil and my teeth start to grind. People say I have anger issues, but when someone tries takes things from you that you hold important, wouldn't you get mad as well? "No!" I screamed and ripped the laptop out of Paul's grasp.

"Daniela Marie!" my mom shouted in disbelief as she stood in the doorway. "Give that to Officer Meraz right now!"

"Shut up!" I growled at her, and then I turned back to an amused-looking Paul. "We can delete the stuff right here, right now. It's ridiculous that you'd take my laptop for a couple of weeks when it can be done in a matter of minutes!"

"I need a fucking aspirin," my mom breathed and then left the room to go to the medicine cabinet.

"Danni," Paul said, speaking in a calm manner, "you can get in a lot of trouble if you don't give me that laptop. I don't want to see you go to jail, so please, give it here." He then held out his hand and waited.

I looked at his pleading face and for a second considered handing it over, but my anger got the best of me and I raised the laptop above my head then sent it crashing the floor. It shattered into a few chunks and there was the sound of short-circuiting.

"There," I grinned, "everybody wins." I lost all of the distorted pictures I made and I got to keep my laptop out of Paul's hands…and ultimately mine…oops.

Paul just chuckled. "You're cute when you're mad."

I heard my mother walk back over to us and then gasp as she saw the remains of my laptop on the floor. "Daniela!" she gasped. "You just wait 'til your father comes home."

I rolled my eyes. I'm fucking seventeen now, a senior in high school, and my mom still threatens me with the "you just wait 'til blahblah gets home" thing. And she calls Liam, that loser, my dad!

Paul walked over to my mom. "Ma'am," he said, "she resisted in handing over the laptop even when a warrant was produced for it. Now the usual consequence is jail-time."

My mom got all pale and looked like she was about to faint.

"But," Paul went on, "since I know Danni is a good girl, I can just convince a judge to assign her some community service."

My mom bit her lip. "Community service? Like picking up dog shit?"

Paul nodded and I felt my heart drop. I hate dogs, let alone dog shit!

"I help run the program here, so I'll be able to keep an eye on her."

My heart dropped even more at that.

"Send me to jail!" I screamed. "I'd rather risk getting raped with a broom stick than go to community service with him!" I pointed in Paul's direction and spat when I said "him."

My mom rolled her eyes. "Shut up Daniela, you're gonna be a pooper scooper."

Bitch! I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to say anything that I'd later regret. The whole time that Paul went over the community service thing with my mom, I saw him grinning in my direction. "It's every day after school from four to six and every Saturday from eight in the morning to six in the evening," he said.

I scowled at him. Fucking Officer Paul Meraz is ruining my life!