A Promise to be Better 44
Author: Raven Dancer
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Beryl and Gibbons. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.
Summary: Places in the Heart
The next morning, Remus Lupin was on his way to breakfast when he was nearly run down by the young Healer. To say Jeffrey Barnes was in a great hurry would be an understatement.
"What's wrong?" the DADA professor asked, hurrying to match Barnes' stride.
"Overslept. Where's that dog?" Jeffrey asked without missing a step.
"With Hagrid. They're going to walk the grounds," Lupin reported. "It's only 9 am, why the rush?" It only seemed an instant before they were at the gargoyle outside the Headmaster's office. Barnes firmly spat out "candied fire ants".
"Listen, Severus was much weaker than my father let on-," Barnes began.
"More weak? I thought not being able to maintain vital functions was as low as he could get," Lupin replied in some shock.
"Well, yes and no. He could become too weak for anyone else to support him, either. I'd hoped Severus would have been a little stronger by last night. He was still too weak, barely supporting his own," Barnes answered truthfully. They'd made it up the moving stairs and pushed into the Headmaster's study.
"Dad? Albus?" Jeffrey called out. He had hoped to see at least one or the other at the least out in the main room. He pushed away the feeling of unease their absence engendered.
"Must still be in the bedroom," Lupin said reasonably, leading the way to the far door.
The bedroom was still dark, drapes drawn tight, the air still and silent. Lupin began to pull ˝the drapes open as Barnes made for the bed waving on lights as he went. Their eyes were greeted by three very silent forms huddled together.
"Oh, gods," muttered Jeffrey as he reached the bed. He carefully pulled Dumbledore off Snape and felt for the Headmaster's pulse.
Strong. Scan showed he was fine, but very tired. Eyes fluttered and Dumbledore surfaced.
"Jeffrey?" the Headmaster murmured groggily.
"Albus! What happened?" Barnes asked quickly as Lupin moved in beside the Healer. Yawning, Dumbledore looked at both men before trying to move back to Snape.
"Remus?" the Healer kept the Headmaster from returning, nudging him into Lupin's open arms.
Jeffrey reached beyond and quickly scanned Snape. Same low levels, but he was getting a little feed of energy. This surprised the young Healer. He reached beyond, lying across both Potions Master and part of the Headmaster to finally touch and scan his father. Again, the man was tired, but not as exhausted as the previous night. If James had simply kept to the bond he should have been stronger. What in the name of Hippocrates had happened?
"Had a bit of a problem last night. I think James can answer your questions better than I," Dumbledore muttered rather hazily.
Jeffrey's mind was spinning trying to figure out exactly what was going on. Did his father break the bond in favor of sending energy? He switched back to scanning Snape. Someone was regulating the heart at the very least; he recognized the cadence was different (a little slower!) than Snape's normal rhythm.
"I need to get Severus up and away from Dad so he can rest, Remus. Can you get the lounge set up for me?" Barnes asked as he began to levitate the Potions Master's still form out from between the two tired wizards. He'd run by the loo first and get him cleaned up a bit. Then some food for all of them.
With Lupin's help, Jeffrey and his patient were soon curled up in the lounge. The bond was still holding; the young Healer marveled at his father's strength and ability.
"I've got Dobby bringing up breakfast. He'll carry some over to you and help feed Severus," Lupin said. "I have to go down to teach my first class, unless you need me?"
"I can manage. Dad's done a fine job," Barnes responded, carefully shifting the drowsing wizard.
"Here, let me," Lupin adjusted the lounge and the occupants so Snape was sitting more upright against the healer. Severus' face became mobile, drawing into a slight frown, then a long breath was pulled in and let go. Finally eyes opened and looked around a little, trying to size up his situation.
"Well, good morning, Severus!" the DADA professor said warmly, gaining the bleary wizard's attention. Snape managed a weak smile before settling against the warmth of the Healer.
"Good morning, Severus," Barnes repeated, sending a stream of energy in to help wake him up.
"Jeffrey," Snape's weak voice managed.
"I'll be back later, Jeffrey, Severus," Lupin moved to gently stroke the Potions Master's rumpled hair then left for class.
Dobby was teasing in small bits of a protein concoction into Snape when both Dumbledore and Dr. James emerged from the bedroom. It was fortunate the Headmaster recalled Jeffrey's arrival earlier or both wizards would have panicked when they woke to find Severus gone.
As it was, they both came directly to the lounge to touch and read Snape. At Dumbledore's caress the Potions Master sighed happily and closed his eyes, feeling the warm rush of love wash over and through him. He returned to the Headmaster his own love and it reverberated on their bond. Jeffrey started.
"You're bonded!" he said incredulously.
"I bonded them in the middle of the night," Dr. James confirmed. "We nearly lost Severus."
Jeffrey stared at his father, processing the information. Unperturbed, the older Healer moved to the table selecting cups and pouring out tea. He then spooned out hot cereal for himself and moved back to the couch near the lounge. Dumbledore followed suit and was soon seated as close to Severus as he could be, eating his own cereal.
Silence reigned for a time. When Snape finally refused another bite Dobby cleaned up and removed the dishes. The lounge was adjusted and Dumbledore slid snug beside Snape so that his child was fully cradled between himself and the Healer and Headmaster. Blankets were spread and tucked.
Snape slipped into an easy sleep followed closely by Dumbledore. Dr. James pulled a separate blanket around himself and settled onto the couch. He explained everything that had occurred through the night to his curious son before he too, fell deeply asleep.
The day went peacefully. The people that stopped by did not disturb the sleeping wizards. Jeffrey kept conversation to a minimum and directed visitors to writing messages and leave them on the Headmaster's desk. His curiosity was sorely piqued when Harry and Hermione both spent some time writing and left notes addressed to Snape.
In the late afternoon Dr. James was roused by Dumbledore. The Headmaster was seated at his desk which was currently dominated by a large overseas albatross that sat there ruffling and settling its feathers while eating some choice bits of smelly herring thoughtfully provided by the house elves. The message it bore was addressed in a clear hand to Dr. Barnes, Sr. The Healer pushed himself up from the couch, took the message, and began to scan it.
"Well," he said with a sigh, "they can take him. Unfortunately the next secure opening won't be available for 5 to 6 months." Dr. James tossed the light parchment to the Headmaster. There was substantially more than just that and Dumbledore read quietly for a time before looking up at the Healer.
"So they'll take him even though he's a security problem," the older wizard let out a long sigh of relief.
"Oh, the Sanitarium is a private institute. Very private. They have dealt with many 'delicate' cases over the years. All very secure. Once Sirius is there we won't have to worry at all," the Healer leaned back, rubbing his eyes. "I was just hoping, fool that I am, they'd be able to take him now. Six months is a long time."
"He can't stay here," Jeffrey's voice piped in from the lounge. Snape was still asleep, having been kept there by the aggressive Healer.
"We don't have much of a choice, Jeffy," Dr. James returned. Dumbledore's face pinched for a moment then he reached for a quill and parchment.
"Perhaps we do have another choice," the Headmaster said, setting up the ink well. "When he first escaped, Sirius couldn't stay here at the school. We were under intense scrutiny after the sightings and problems with some student accidents. We tried hiding him with Remus, but that was untenable. It became clear he couldn't stay anywhere in England or Scotland," Dumbledore began to write.
"But he was still weak and needed care..." the Headmaster trailed off as he turned his full attention to the letter. It was quiet except for the scratching of the quill. Jeffrey sat up a bit, trying to at least get a bead on his father (who was reading over Albus' shoulder.) Neither of the older wizards looked in his direction; Dumbledore was concentrating on the parchment, Dr. James on the quill.
"Well?" James asked in a mildly aggrieved voice, "where did he go?" The Headmaster glanced up from his scribbles.
"To America. To the Roanoke Academy of Magic. The Headmistress, Lila Johnstone, is a very old friend of mine," Dumbledore set the quill down and rubbed his face.
"Lila warned me about Sirius. She and Her counselor worked with him while he was there under their Healer's care. I didn't listen," he sighed miserably.
"You were told Black was unstable?" Jeffrey sharply asked, the tension in his tone palatable. Dumbledore said nothing, staring at the parchment in front of him.
"Don't pick on Albus," Snape growled from the folds of blanket. Jeffrey jerked slightly, surprised, while his father passed a hand over his mouth to quell the snicker that threatened to burst out.
Snape pushed up and looked for his friend. He dropped back into the lounge when he realized he could not get to him. The Headmaster smiled softly at his friend's defense of him, picked up the quill to finish his writing.
"Well, he should have taken that in consideration when all those tricks were being played on you," muttered the young Healer to his patient.
"If I have learned nothing else Jeffrey, it's to not accuse anyone until you're sure. I don't blame Albus that he's trusting. I am one of the people he's trusted when he's had very little reason to, when everyone and everything told him he should not," Snape said. His voice rose.
"For gods sakes, Jeffrey, I'm a death eater. I've tortured people; done horrible things for horrible people. I can never atone for all that I've done. How can you lie there holding the likes of me? Helping the likes of me? If any one in this school deserves casting out or death it is me, not some pathetically narcissistic Gryffindor!" The Potions Master would have preferred leaving, to crawl into his dungeons and hide. Instead, he simply lie still and willed himself to ignore the naive Healer.
He didn't have to remain that way for long; he suddenly found himself airborne traveling across the room to the Headmaster. One touch and all his doubt and self-loathing was banished as loving warmth flowed from Albus through their bond.
*child,* Dumbledore gently chided. *you have more than atoned, done more than anyone has the right to ask of you*
*but Jeffrey doesn't understand* Snape thought sadly.
*in it's way that's a good thing. Jeffrey is young, he hasn't seen the worst of the world,* he pressed his forehead to his friend's. *I wish you hadn't seen the very worst of the world.*
They sat together for awhile, simply existing in their joined spaces. The warmth of quiet love and acceptance enough for Snape to consider forgiving himself. Maybe he had done some good after all. Dumbledore certainly felt he had. Snape dropped his head against the Headmaster's shoulder and sighed contentedly.
*I need to finish this letter,* Dumbledore murmured.
*'k,* Snape held a little tighter then let go. Dr. James, who'd slipped alongside the pair, took hold of the shaky wizard so he could assist him..
"Let's clean up and see about some dinner, Severus. You need to get something in that empty stomach of yours!" the older Healer said gently .
After finishing his missive and sending it with Dobby to be owled, Dumbledore moved to the table and began dishing up a bowl of steaming beef stew. Although it wasn't very late, he felt he could go to bed and sleep all night. How much was his fatigue and how much was Snape's? The bond was still intact; he was still controlling heartbeats and breathing for his friend.
"After dinner you can let go, Albus," Dr. James said quietly. Dumbledore wondered if he was reading his mind.
"I read minds professionally. I am a wizard, you know!" the older Healer smirked. Then Dumbledore noticed Dr. James holding Snape's arm as he fed him.
"Cheater," the Headmaster said with a sniff.
As he ate Dumbledore wondered how much he'd have to 'let go' to have Snape functioning on his own. He liked the warmth of the bond. It was comforting to him knowing Snape could fully believe and understand Albus' love. That Albus could feel the Potions Master's love and acceptance.
Dumbledore simply liked having Snape "there". He shook his head with a small laugh. He didn't need the healer's bond to know he wasn't alone. Snape would always be there when he needed him. As for Severus, he had worked so hard to be able to trust him and believe him. It was time for the Headmaster to trust his friend's hard-won gains. To trust the bond they had without magic.
The bond slipped away easily; Albus watched carefully as Snape picked up his own inner functionings, fatigue etching his already too-tired face. The Potions Master sighed, lifting his eyes to his friend with a small smile.
"I miss you," Snape said softly, still smiling.
"I miss you, too," Dumbledore replied with his own grin.
"I'm right here," the Potions Master squirmed in his chair leaning against the older Healer.
"And I am right here, too," Dumbledore reached out to take his child in his arms, into a warm embrace. "Always right here."
After a long moment they broke apart, the Headmaster returning to his own space in his own chair, the Potions Master to his own chair and the comforting energy of the Healer.
"You need to sleep, Severus," Dr. James murmured quietly.
"I think I could sleep," Snape quipped. Jeffrey reached over and tugged the ill wizard's hair.
"You will sleep all night, Sev," Barnes turned to Dr. James. "My turn to monitor, Dad. You get to go back and fill out triplicate parchments for Stacy," the younger Healer teased, mentioning their receptionist. The older Healer raised a slight glare, then chuckled.
"Yes, I suppose I do. Let's get you into bed, Professor Snape," Barnes said. With his son's help Snape was tucked into warm covers where he slept comfortably nestled between Headmaster and the young Healer.
