Soooo sorry I haven't put this up in so long. *is wary of an angry mob* I hope to not take too long on the next few chapters so I can get this done, but I can never tell how long it will take. So enjoy this next chap. ; )

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Chapter 20

Leo lay curled on his side, his eyes squeezed shut. He couldn't believe what he had done. He, Leonardo, to his own brothers. It was unimaginable, unthinkable. Attacking his own family like a mercenary. He began to shake again after they left. And Raph... oh Raph. His own brother was terrified of him. He just knew it. He could see it in his eyes. His brother had tried to kill him with that bottle, just like he himself had tried to kill Raph. Why did Don have to stop him? He couldn't live with what had happened. Turning his back on his family... He bit his lip, silent tears slipping down.

Footsteps echoed through the quiet room, stopping Leo's shaking form. He didn't bother turning to look who it was. He couldn't even look anyone in the eyes now. He heard someone shuffling around before the sound of footsteps stopped behind him, inches from the cot he lay on.

"We'll bring Raph back," a voice whispered. Leo immediately recognized it as Don's.

Waiting until Don had left, Leo curled up a bit more. He didn't want to be near Raph or anyone else. He was a monster now. Sure he didn't want Raph hurt and wanted him home for the others, but he couldn't risk being near anyone anymore. What if he suddenly had an urge to attack one of his family members? He remembered everything, including that fateful night caught in the burning building. Oh how he wished he had never stepped foot in that building. Then maybe he wouldn't be in this mess. But wishing wouldn't change anything. He would have to deal with this... somehow. He shuddered thinking about earlier, waking from that final flashback. He was shocked at what had happened, remembering who he is and what he had done. The tears had just come of their own accord. Then he found himself strapped down, not in some Foot building, but his own home! His family didn't trust him. And why should they when he tried to kill Raph? He had even said he was going to kill the rest of them. He had tried to pull free of the straps, but hadn't really wanted to. He shouldn't be free. Not after all he had done.

A hand gently rested on his forehead, startling Leo from his dark thoughts. He hadn't heard anyone come in, much less approach him.

"We are here for you my son," Splinter said softly.

How could they be here for him? After all he'd done. Leo nearly shuddered at the thought. It just couldn't be possible.

"Don't think on what has happened," Splinter continued. "Think on your family. Your family who will always forgive you."

Forgive him? Leo almost laughed. How could they forgive this one? If he were in their shoes, so to speak, he didn't know if he would be able to forgive something like this. Betrayal by one of your own family members. Didn't matter that he didn't remember them due to some sort of amnesia. He wasn't supposed to forget them. Never.

***

Raph stood on the rooftops, breathing hard and glaring down at the city. He had taken out more than a dozen purple dragons and a few Foot ninjas, wearing himself down and taking out his frustrations on anyone who got in the way. It did nothing to calm him, not even in the slightest, which fueled his frustrations even more. He was still filled with rage and despair, though he had a hard time admitting to the second part. He just couldn't forgive himself for what he nearly did to Leo. He let out a heart wrenching scream that echoed into the still night.

"Yeesh Raph. You're acting like something just died," Mikey joked.

Raph spun around surprised. His gaze hardened into a glare at his young orange banded brother. "Shut it Mike! I don't need your smart aleck remarks right now!"

"Calm down Raph," Don said from beside Mikey. The brainy turtle did not look happy at all.

Raph snorted and turned back to the roof's edge, glaring at the ground below them. "What are you two doing out here?"

"Coming to find you," Mikey answered.

"Why?" Raph asked bitterly. It wasn't like they needed him right now. They had to take care of Leo. Undo the damage he himself had done to his older brother.

"Because whether or not you realize or accept it Raph, we need you," Don said firmly.

Raph turned and half glared at Don, not expecting this firmness from Don. Maybe Leo a year ago, but not now. And not from Don. Especially not Mikey either, who stood with his arms crossed, staring at him like he wasn't going to move until Raph gave in. That was new. He huffed and turned away again. "You don't need me."

"Yes we do," Mikey argued.

"Leo needs you," Don said softly. "He looks like he's going to tear himself apart."

Raph gritted his teeth. Leo wouldn't do that. Nothing could make him do that.

"We can't loose Leo again," Mikey begged. "I.... I can't deal with that. Not again Raph."

Raph's fists shook at his side. He squeezed his eyes shut. Leo didn't need him. That was all a big lie. "No."

"No?!" Don demanded. "Why not?"

"He doesn't need me!" Raph shouted, spinning around to face Don and Mikey. He wanted to believe them. That Leo really needed him, but that would be impossible with how he had just tried to kill Leo. He knew that Leo would know what he had tried to do. Leo knew everything that went on around him. "He doesn't now and he never will!"

"Yes he does!" Mikey yelled back, making Don and Raph flinch, they eyes going wide. "Dang it Raph! Why do you have to be such a hothead? Why do you have to go storm off when we need you? Why do you have to be mad at someone who needs your help?" He glared at Raph once more before stopping off. "I'm going home to try to help Leo. Stay here for all I care! I sure don't!" And with that Mikey disappeared over the edge of the building's fire escape.

Raph stood there stunned. Looking at Don, apparently he was too. Mikey never had outbursts like that. Ok... not never, but it was a very rare occurrence.

Don looked at him, opened his mouth, then shut it shrugging. "He's right." He sighed and followed after Mikey.

Alone on the rooftop, staring at where his two brothers had just stood, he couldn't help but want to follow them. He could, but didn't want to at the same time. What if Leo really did need him? Turning evil was Leo's worst nightmare. Heck, it was his worse nightmare. Leo was the leader... Someone to turn to when there was no way out. Leo always knew the way out. Maybe that was why he was having such a hard time now. He sighed. Maybe they were right. He swallowed and ran off down the fire escape and into the sewers. He didn't see Don or Mikey, but knew they couldn't be too far ahead. He had to get home before he changed his mind.

Halfway home, he got tackled to the ground, a staff across his chest. His eyes widened as he looked up at who had pinned him down. "Donny?"

"Raph?"

"You did come," Mikey said from the side. He slid his chucks in his belt as Don got off of Raph and helped him up.

"We thought you were Foot," Mikey said softly. There was no spark of playfulness in his eyes, mostly likely due to the current situation and his recent blow up on the rooftops.

"You were a little noisy," Don added as he slid his staff back on his back.

Raph couldn't even smirk. His head hung. "Yeah. I know. I just... don't want my mind to change before I get home."

"Well come on. Let's go then," Mikey said urgently, taking on of Raph's hands and pulling him towards home.

Raph saw Don shake his head before he was pulled around the corner by Mikey.

A few minutes later, Raph walked into the lair behind Mikey. Don stopped beside them and the three of them stood just inside their home's entrance.

"It's quiet," Raph remarked after awhile.

"Yeah," Don whispered.

"We don't have to whisper..." Mikey said, whispering himself.

Raph ignored him and started walking in, tentatively at first then faster. He felt his mind waging against him, urging him to change his mind and run. Run from here and never come back. Swallowing hard, he made it within feet from the lab before he was stopped. Splinter stood in front of him, blocking his entrance into the lab. "Sensei..."

"Raphael," Splinter whispered. He stepped closer and wrapped his son in a furry hug. "You are home."

"Yes father. I am," Raph said softly, hugging his father tight. He was home. He only hopped he could help fix things.

"My son..."

Raph quickly let go from his crushing embrace. "Sorry sensei."

"You must talk to your brother."

He nodded. "I know. But what if he doesn't listen? What if I say the wrong thing? What if..."

"Shhh..." Splinter sighed. "It will be alright. Whatever happens will be the best for now. This might not be fixed today, but we must show Leonardo that things will get better. That he is welcomed back into our family. We care dearly for him and he must know this."

"Yes sensei," Raph whispered.

"You can do this."

Raph smiled very slightly. "Thanks sensei."

Splinter nodded and stepped to the side. "Good luck my son."

Raph nodded and took a deep breath, walking into the lab. He was determined to help his older brother no matter what. He wasn't going to let this get Leo down. That was what brothers were for. To help you up when you fell. And Leo needed his help. Whether he liked it or not.