Disclaimer: Don't own it, just get a kick out of writing about it. Thanks Stephenie!
Angstward is back...I couldn't keep him away from long, especially after the events of the last chapter! But good ole Sexward refused to stay away too. Anyone noticing a pattern here? :)
There's a bit of a 'nod' to the movie Sixteen Candles in this chapter. Let me know if you catch it!
I felt like I had been asleep for days, years; centuries. My eyes opened to pitch black. Not red. Black sky above; trees, no stars. Absolute silence. Where was I?
Slowly, my mind made its way back to me. Memories of the past few hours flickered on at random, one by one, like individual light bulbs. The card game. The fight. The mountain lion. The insatiable thirst for something...
I bolted up, whipping my head around, frantically in search of Rosalie. When my eyes finally caught sight of her, she was lying on her back, eyes closed, just a foot away from me - absolutely silent and still. Was she dead?
"Rosalie." I whispered her name almost reverently, both anxious for her to answer, yet at the same time absolutely terrified as more memories flooded through my head - her eyes no longer crimson, my teeth sunk into her flesh, cries of pain; then, absolute rapture.
Suddenly, her eyes fluttered open, and she turned her head to gaze at me, her face perfectly void of emotion.
What happened?
"I don't…know," I stuttered, still trying to sort through the haphazard flashes of those ubiquitous, heathen events that continued to plague my mind. Slowly, she sat up and looked around, taking in her bearings before finally speaking.
"I was hunting…" Rosalie frowned sharply as her eyes glanced down to appraise her filthy outfit. "And you followed me."
"Yes."
She let her gaze drift up, eventually meeting my pained stare. "And then you jumped into the tree, and…kissed me."
The words came out of her mouth in such a way as to suggest that the mere thought of my lips upon hers was entirely incomprehensible. Without thinking, I coughed back a laugh.
"What's so funny?"
"You make it sound like you've never been kissed before," I retorted, still snickering at her incredulous expression.
Rosalie rolled her eyes and sniffed. "Of course I have. Just not like that."
I let her words sink in, marrying them up with the broken memories from our latest tryst before replying.
"I…don't know what to say," I finally admitted, pinching my nose in frustration and letting my eyes drift shut as I continued to try and make heads or tails of everything that had happened. "I'm sorry."
She sniffed again and looked away. "I wasn't necessarily complaining."
My eyes snapped open. "Oh? Then what were you insinuating, exactly?"
"I just don't remember everything, and I really wish I did."
"Well, you did bite me. Several times, actually," I chuckled awkwardly.
Rosalie whipped her head back, simmering in irritation. "You bit me first!"
That declaration helped sift the random images that continued to flitter through my head into more of a correct order. Gradually, the memories of my actions were beginning to form a cohesive story – the puzzle slowly coming together.
I glanced away from her exasperated stare, now noticing the wide tears in her clothes. Motioning towards them, I stumbled sheepishly through the question. "Did I…do that to your, um, blouse and skirt?"
She followed my gaze, tracing a wide gash in the fabric along her shoulder with her finger. "At this point, anything is possible." As she continued to study the tattered remains of her outfit, I realized that for some strange reason, she didn't seem in the least bit self-conscious. I, on the other hand, continually averted my eyes in embarrassment, trying not to notice when her movements caused some of the tears to gape open, revealing a fair amount of her pale skin.
"So, you don't remember either?" she questioned softly, finally looking back over to me. The edge in her voice from earlier was gone; now she sounded timid and bewildered.
I shook my head, still averting my gaze. "Nothing really, after a certain point."
"Has this – happened before? To you, or to Carlisle and Esme?"
Finally, I found the strength to look into her crimson eyes, causing another memory of my skewed vision from before to nearly sidetrack my current train of thought. "Not that I'm aware of. But definitely not to me."
We both looked away this time, a sudden, uncomfortable silence filling the air. I felt the old, familiar wall come up around Rosalie's thoughts, which I was actually grateful for. Because she was most likely thinking the same thing I was – at what point did we stop during our encounter? Thankfully we were both still clothed, though Rosalie's outfit was ruined beyond repair, and clearly suggested that something, or someone had damaged it. Really, there was only one way to know for sure what had occurred if we were both unable to remember, and although I really didn't want to go down that path, I felt it was only fair to suggest it for Rosalie's sake.
"I suppose we could ask Carlisle…" I began, but she effectively cut me off.
"No!" Jumping to her feet, she reached up with her left hand to hold the revealing gash in her blouse closed. "They don't need to know about this."
Nodding in agreement, I couldn't help but notice a prominent bite mark near her collarbone. Without thinking, I reached out, leaning forward to tenderly touch it. "I'm so sorry." I couldn't help but think back to her assault, and how Royce could have done a similar thing. I'm such a monster.
She flinched at my words, but not my touch, as she reached up with her right hand to hold mine against her shoulder. "Just don't say anything to Carlisle and Esme. Please?" Her eyes pleaded with me, and I nearly asked her out loud why she was so concerned with keeping them oblivious. But deep down I knew exactly why – I too, did not want our latest escapades made public. Though I couldn't exactly answer why I felt that way, I instinctively just did. Our tumultuous relationship was no one's business but our own, and letting Carlisle and Esme know that we were actually capable of moments of civility, let alone more intimate encounters would only build their case of thrusting us together into an eternal union. Betrothed to one another and hating every moment of it as our free-will was snatched away.
"I won't," I promised solemnly, unable to look away from her importune stare. We stood like that for several minutes, my hand resting on her supple skin, her hand covering mine. Almost imperceptibly, she began to lean forward, never breaking our gaze. My free hand rose unconsciously until it rested on her waist, slowly pulling our bodies together until we were effectively flush against one another. Still, we did not speak, yet we communicated easily with our eyes, memorizing every minute detail of each other's face. The energy passing between us was incredibly foreign and powerful – at first I dismissed the feeling as one of residual, lascivious tendency. But the urge to kiss her was not foremost in my mind like before and I could no longer decipher my own emotions.
Rosalie's lips were now less than in inch from mine. "What's wrong?" she murmured, her cool, sweet breath washing over my face. I inhaled instinctively, savoring the aroma of honeysuckle that was so distinctly her.
"I – don't know," I answered truthfully, still captivated by her inquisitive stare. Bothered by the mystification surrounding my inability to label the unfamiliar feelings coursing through me, I searched out her thoughts, looking for a breech in their protective wall. She seemed to be perfectly at ease standing so close to me, just letting me hold her.
When I found no way through her mental barrier, I sighed dejectedly. "What now?" I knew no other way to phrase my ineptitude at detangling this new thing that seemed to be growing between us.
She just shook her head, a pained shadow crossing her face for the briefest of moments. Her lips barely brushed mine, completely chaste-like before the mask came down. No longer was I peering into her soul – once again, she was the self-assured Rosalie, full of spitfire and vinegar as she released my hand upon her shoulder and stepped back from my embrace.
"I should go back and change." My eyes flitted downward against my will to appraise her tattered outfit, causing me to wince. When I looked back up, Rosalie rolled her eyes at my actions, obviously not pleased. "You shouldn't come with."
A snicker escaped before I could stop it. "Obviously. What do you plan to tell them? They sent me looking for you – they'll still be there when you return." She frowned upon hearing this unfortunate news.
"I'll tell them I got a little rough with a cat." She looked pointedly at me, emphasizing the word 'cat'.
"They'll want to know if we crossed paths," I said delicately. "Carlisle and Esme will never believe that I was unable to find you."
Rosalie huffed. "I'll think of something." She turned on her heel to start back towards the house. I watched her take a few steps before I spoke up.
"Wait!" She stopped, but didn't turn to face me. "We'll need to have our stories straight…"
Her shoulders slumped in a strange indication of understanding, but still, she refused to turn around. "I'll meet you at our rock."
And with that, she raced off into the night, a fleeting, pale specter disappearing through the towering black undergrowth.
Sitting alone upon our venerated rock and watching the sun begin its slow climb into the cloudless sky, I thought about the events of the past twelve hours as I waited for Rosalie to arrive.
What had happened, exactly, during her hunt? There were still large gaps missing in my memory from the evening, most of which occurred after our fall from the tree. Why had I been so driven to bite her? Was it because of the appealing cat? Admittedly, they were my favorite prey – could competition for the beast had driven me to act in such a way?
Although that logic made adequate sense, I knew it wasn't right. If I were only after the cat, then why would I have continued to go after her once the animal was dead? And even though my recollection was sketchy regarding every detail of the hunt, I instinctively knew I could have more aggressively fought her for the beast if I so desired. But you didn't. No, it wasn't the bloodlust for the mountain lion that drove us to our venery.
Which led me to the next, more plausible reason. Sexual yearnings. Unwillingly, my teeth curled back from my lips in disgust as I considered that possibility. It wasn't that I didn't find Rosalie attractive in a physical way – quite the opposite, actually, if I were being frank with myself. But still, I refused to believe that my primitive, carnal desires had driven my actions in such a way, completely overruling my rational command of my body. Although her torn garments suggested such possible activities, I ruled out that theory almost immediately, refusing to believe such a thing could have occurred without one of us remembering something.
So what had happened then? Why were both of us driven to such an insane display of animalistic behavior?
Edward.
She called to me silently from far below; I still could not hear her quiet footsteps upon the forest floor. The tone of her thought seemed to hold the slightest bit of longing, which thoroughly surprised me. After everything that had happened, the last thing I expected was her to want to see me. I had been preparing myself for a predictable, minacious attitude since we parted ways in the deep woods, especially since she was burdened with the task of explaining her outfit to Carlisle and Esme. That had worried me the most –what would they think when she returned looking like that after I was sent out to find her?
I can sense your torment a mile away.
As Rosalie stepped through the trees, I met her steady gaze, then rolled my eyes at her dubious thought.
"I'm serious. Your face gives you away every time." She leapt gracefully onto the rock where I sat, situating herself a comfortable few feet from me. I took in her improved appearance; she was donning a new dress that complimented her figure perfectly, as well as to emphasize the translucent glow of her pale skin. Her golden locks had been washed and swept back away from her face. Once again, she was breathtaking. I wondered if she had ever gone a day in her life where her appearance wasn't absolutely stunning.
Still staring at her alluring form, she finally jolted me out of my trance by opening her mind fully to me.
Edward, you can stare at me later. We need to talk.
My eyes jerked upward, fearful of the wrath I expected to see, yet her countenance rang true in her thoughts.
First, your alibi.
I simply nodded, making sure to keep my eyes on her face, and not let them drift elsewhere.
I told them you found me after I killed the cat, and after rather annoyingly making sure I was not injured, I demanded that you leave me so I could attend to my wardrobe without your prying eyes.
The chortle that slipped from my lips was startlingly loud in the early dawn air; instantly, I covered my mouth to stifle the laughter that continued to plague me.
You find my excuse funny? Thankfully, they bought it.
I nodded swiftly, looking away from her to the treetops in the distance, struggling to compose myself. Although I knew I should be annoyed with her story, in reality it was quite humorous - even if she did smarmily add a disturbingly accurate detail. One that I hoped Carlisle and Esme would never discover to be true.
Are you done now?
"Yes," I replied, swallowing down another chuckle. Taking a deep, resounding breath, I finally looked back to her, my face stoically somber. Though I suspected that hiding my true emotions would become increasingly Sisyphean around this remarkably perceptive creature.
"So it's done," she said, switching her internal dialogue to speaking out loud. "I'm confident they don't suspect anything, particularly after I harangued both of them for sending you after me."
My eyes grew wide at her truthful admittance, and the words spilled out of me in an uncensored fashion. "You actually berated them for sending me after you?"
Rosalie nodded solemnly. "I meant what I said before. They can't know about this."
"I agree. But…what is this?" There, it was finally out in the open. I couldn't hold it in any longer – we needed to figure this out. Or at least, I did.
She pursed her lips together, studying me for a moment before looking away in frustration, simultaneously replacing the wall around her thoughts. "I…don't know."
"I've been thinking about last night, and I –" my hands came up, rubbing my temples in distress as I looked down, forcing the words out. "I don't understand what happened."
Rosalie shifted on the rock, leaning forward to tilt my chin up so that I was looking directly into her bright eyes. "Nothing happened last night, Edward. We just acted like the creatures Carlisle destined us to be."
My jaw gaped as I struggled to process her words. "What do you mean?"
"You've never let yourself lose control before, have you? Not like that, at least."
I continued to stare at her, absolutely speechless and wondering how she was so easily able to understand. As if hearing my thoughts, she continued.
"I thought about it on the run home. Although I don't remember everything, I suddenly had this moment of clarity – like I knew what happened without really comprehending the sequence of events. I think our…behavior…was instinctual. Natural."
Finally I found my voice. "But if that were the case, then why wouldn't something like that have happened before, when hunting with Carlisle and Esme? Or even between us?"
Rosalie smiled sweetly at me, still holding my chin in her hand. "We've never hunted together."
"Regardless, it's never happened before, and I've never seen the others act so – monstrous either. Wouldn't you think…?" I couldn't finish my thought, because the resounding truth of her words finally sunk in.
"Does this mean –"
She moved her hand, covering my mouth in an indication for me to stop. Her mouth opened as to speak, but nothing came out. Instead, she unveiled her mind to me.
I'm not ready to answer that. Are you?
Rosalie was right - it was too much to think about and process. My head throbbed between my fingertips that continued to circle my temples, thoroughly exhausted from trying to work through everything that had happened. It was simply too much. Sighing loudly, I pulled away from her, turning to the side so I could stretch out on my back and stare up at the lightening sky.
"Edward, what are you thinking?"
Normally, such a statement would cause me to laugh out loud. She was always such a keen observer that she automatically knew exactly what I was thinking without having to ask.
"I'm just having a hard time understanding all of this." Strangely, blatant honesty seemed to be my only recourse.
Rosalie shifted again, mimicking my posture and laying down on her half of the rock, still a safe distance away from me. "What, exactly?"
"Everything, Rose." For a split second I considered sharing all of my conflicting thoughts; my desire for her attention coupled with my hatred of her temperament. The acute pressure I felt from Carlisle and Esme for us to join together as they had, and my indescribable urge to fight their wishes, even though I found myself continually seeking out Rosalie's company. Was I just lonely, starved for companionship other than my parental figures? And if so, would I be acting this same way around any random girl Carlisle decided to bring into the family? It was all too much to bear.
I moved to sit up, prepared to jump off the rock and just lose myself in the backwoods of the surrounding mountains. Even without hearing every one of her thoughts, her very physical presence distracted me, steering my mind away from sorting through all of this and urging me to just relinquish control again and act on pure instinct. But every time that fleeting thought seemed plausible, even enjoyable, the muddled memory of the night before would plague my mind and I'd find myself back to wallowing in uncertainty. I simply couldn't handle it.
Right as my feet slid to the ground, I felt a hand clasp around my wrist.
"Don't go."
I whipped my head around and snarled in defiance before jerking my hand away from her grasp. "Like you can stop me." All of my pent-up aggravation over my own inability to sift through my emotions was now entirely focused at her. I should have felt bad for the outburst, but I was incapable of apologizing. My brain was beginning to shut down, but not before directing my body to flee once again.
I had taken three large strides away from the rock and down the slope when I was hit from behind and forcibly knocked flat on my face. Hissing in anger, I tried to push myself up, but found that my attempts were futile as my arms were suddenly pinned behind my back.
"You know, I really do contemn this attitude of yours." Her hot breath washed against my left ear as she growled out the words. I asked you not to go."
"And do you expect me to comply with your every whimsical wish, Rose?" I didn't think twice about using her pet name in such a circumstance, because I was now furious with her. Everything wrong in my life was her fault. Carlisle, Esme and I could all be happily living in New York, or some other locale without the strain and constant headache of babysitting a churlish newborn who thought the world revolved around her. How could I ever think for even a second that I was the slightest bit attracted, let alone interested in her in any sort of romantic way?
Just as my thoughts began to visibly seethe out of every pore, she compulsorily rolled my body around until she had me pinned on my back, my arms still shackled by her vise-like hands. Inwardly I cursed her newborn strength, vowing to repay this malignant use of her power tenfold once she was older. I'd make her regret ever laying a finger on me.
Again, she quite virtually read my mind. Though I wasn't really trying to mask my emotions, I was still rather startled by her ability to pluck each and every one of them so effortlessly from the contours of my twitching face.
"I know what's going through that pretty little head of yours, because the same thing goes through mine every waking minute of the day." She leaned forward, her nose practically touching my own. "And don't think for a minute that I don't wish for my old life back, my inevitable death, instead of being stuck in this hellhole with you."
Blinking in shock, I continued to watch the fire dance within her eyes as she continued.
"And to answer your prior question, you may not know it now, dear Edward, but you already do comply with my every wish." She held my gaze for just a split second more, almost seeming to challenge me to retort. When I didn't reply, she crushed her lips to mine, painfully hard, then pulled away.
Without thinking, my devious body raised up so that I could recapture her lips with mine, returning the heated and passionate kiss with even more intensity than she had displayed. And before my mind completely quit working, one last thought trickled through my conscious.
She's absolutely right.
AN: Check out the Betrothed discussion thread on Twilighted, linked in my profile. Also, the new and enhanced playlist is up!
Betrothed is in the process of getting translated to Portuguese by the utterly awesome Gabrielle Briant! Check out the link in my profile.
Thanks again to all of the awesome readers out there! You guys are the best!
