Disclaimer: One Piece is the property of Eiichiro Oda. Many of the characters in this story are property of me. Do not use this story or its characters without my permission. Thank you.
"FISH!" Bard shouted through the galley. He carried a huge platter of fresh, raw shark decorated in exotic herbs and balled with rice. Each serving of rice and shark meat was about the size of Bard's own fist, but the daunting size didn't deter the still starving Rez who grabbed three at once and gulped them down swiftly.
"That's no good" Zan commented. "I usually eat fork-and-knife foods."
"Try it!" Bard encouraged, taking one and magically eating it in one vicious gulp. "They're really good fresh."
"How can you tell?" Zan asked. "Did you even taste it?" Regardless, Zan pick one up and bit into it. The shark meat was tough, but oddly sweet. The salty content made Zan feel a sinking feeling, of course, but the rice out-balanced it enough that it was barely noticeable. The other spices used of course gave the dish a lavish, juicy kick. "I need to make sure you lose this next challenge" Zan commented to Bard. "This is delicious."
"Better than cold, dry meat and damp vegetables" Rez said, referring to his earlier 'meal'.
"Heh. You guys are too nice" Bard said, eating another ball. "I cook stuff like this all the time...granted, I don't actually cook anything..." Rez paused for a moment from chewing and looked over at Bard with great hesitance.
"What does that mean?" Rez asked with his mouth full.
"You know, it's sushi!" Bard explained. "Raw fish meat." Rez let out a muffled scream with wide, watery eyes, then proceeded to remove the food from his mouth as quickly and disgustingly as possible all over the floor. Bard and Zan both watched him curiously.
"So Zan" Bard redirected, "what's the next challenge?" Zan turned away and forced his food down. His eyes looked analyzing and emotionless, just like they always did, but with the subtle glow of deep thought.
"I'm not sure" Zan replied. "Then again, I didn't think we'd get through the first two challenges in one day...I'm at a loss." Bard leaned back in his chair and attempted to think for him, posing thoughtfully with his finger stroking his face.
"How about this" Rez began, pulling himself up from the floor. "Let's all eat Bard's cooking and see who dies last."
"Nah" Bard declined. "Araly would win."
"Oh, speaking of whom" Zan interrupted, "why isn't she in on this as well?"
"Because it's insane and juvenile" Bard quickly replied. A short silence followed of his fellows staring him down. "That's what she thought about it." Zan nodded in acceptance.
"That girl is quite angry, isn't she?" Zan said. Then, a sudden snap of realization hit him. "Maybe she'd like to help us?" Zan suggested slyly. Bard and Rez furrowed their brows at him, wondering just what he meant.
"No" Araly sternly said, sipping from a cup of tea suspended beside her hammock. Over time, the entire bedroom began to look like her own personal spider web of joined cloths that acted as slides and beds and seat that were expertly fastened down to even the slightest outcropping of the wood. Bard was asking on behalf of he and his elective captains for her help in deciding a sufficient form of torture, but she was begrudged to help anyone do anything pirate-like at all.
"Please, Araly?" Bard begged. "We're all out of ideas." Araly took another sip form her tea to heighten his suspense but answered the same.
"No." Her response made Bard sink down to his hands and knees in defeat.
"We can't choose a captain without a properly painful challenge!" Bard whined. "Come on, Araly! You know how much fun you have watching me get hurt!"
"Yeah, that's true" Araly shamelessly admitted. "Still, I don't want to advocate you to be a Pirate captain, let alone a pirate. I'll turn myself in as a captive of you and this motley crew and be taken back harmlessly to our home when I get the chance..." Bard was looking up at her in disbelief. He never considered that she would be so desperate to get away from the Grand Line without him.
"Well" Bard started anew, "can wee at least borrow some cloth?"
"Why?" Araly asked skeptically. "Are you guys going to hang yourselves off the back of the ship and see how long you can take not seeing where you're going while you act like sea monster bait?" As she rolled her eyes and turned around, Bard was struck with a lightning bolt of inspiration. He rose up with a smile and Araly picked up on his emanating aura of building stupidity. "...no, Bard" Araly said. He ignored her and gathered up several longs cords of rope fashioned from long sheets of fabric. "Bard, I refuse to let you do this!" she screamed, but it was too late. Moments later, up on deck, the plan was approved and the men were set down in their firm harnesses to dangle over the water until they decided to be pulled back up.
"I'm not liking this one" Zan said very nervously. Then, he turned to Bard in the middle with a smile and a thumb up. "Nice job!"
"It's mostly Araly's idea" Bard admitted.
"NO WAY!" Araly shouted from her hastily-made hammock on the aft deck. "I'm not taking any credit for this stupidity!" She pouted back into her hammock with a sternly angry face.
"Please cheer up, Miss Araly" one of the pirates said. "Their lives are in your hands for now!" It was true. The ropes that held them all up were tied in a bunch at the leg of Max's chair. His snoring had subsided in place of very deep breathing and alternating yawns.
"Why does he sleep all the time?" Araly asked.
"It helps him regulate his blood flow" Marco explained "so the poison blood doesn't spread too fast."
"And how long has he been doing that?" Araly reiterated.
"That's not the point right now" Rez demanded. "Just make sure you pull us up if we decide to give up."
"Or if someone faints" Bard added.
"And rope us down some food at night" Zan continued to add.
"I'm not a maid!" Araly shouted.
"Well miss" Marco said definitively, "we leave our Captain's life in your hands, whichever one decides to give up last."
"What about sleep?" Araly shouted down below. "Can you guys differentiate between fainting and sleeping?"
"Irrelevant" Zan replied. "This is a psychological test. No one will sleep that wants to win."
"Really?" Bard asked honestly. "I thought this was just us hanging from the ship over water."
"How exactly is that sufficient torture?" Zan asked. Just then, Rez began uncomfortably twisting in his harness. "What's up?"
"I have to take a leak" Rez explained. Bard simply motioned his hands in Rez's direction to clarify his point and Zan sighed with his face in his hand.
"If you guys keep talking like that" Araly shouted down "I'll just leave."
"Sorry!" Bard replied. Araly rustled herself into her hammock and curled up with a book that was in the bedroom. She had already read several novels, all about romance and drama, and now she was working on the eighth. She happily sat reading while the crew worked to make sure the ship sped along briskly to get to the next island still a few days away. The sun was setting across the glistening ocean water, illuminating the rippling waves that crashed against the sides of the boat futilely.
"This isn't so bad" Bard said, crossing his legs in the air.
"Indeed" Zan said in agreement. "We may be here for a while."
"Can you guys not talk for a bit?" Rez asked sternly. "I really have to piss right now and the water noise isn't helping!"
"Then just go" Zan suggested. "There's nothing but ocean down there anyway, who'll care?" Just then, Zan felt his harness drop an increment, but he jumped in life-ending terror all the same. "That wasn't funny!" he blared up to the ship.
"Aw, poor Mr. Killer" Araly mocked from the deck. "Is you afwaid of da watah?" Her cutesy tone bore down on Zan, making him blush in anger. He pulled out a cigarette from his pants pocket and lit it up under his shady brow.
"Say Zan" Bard started. "I wanna know something." Zan looked over and breathed his smoky air in. "Why are you an assassin? It seems like a...negative career to have." Zan blew out a stream of smoke and took out his cigarette.
"When I was a kid" he started, "I ate the Meld Meld Fruit. Soon after that, a group of pirates came and raided my village in the South Blue in hopes of finding the fruit. I ran away, and watched my entire life burn to the ground. Ever since then I made my living off of my power, using it to rob and pillage as much as possible until I got involved with the wrong people..."
"Long story short" he concluded, "those people were the Revolutionary Army and their leader gave me a solid job. I've been Dragon's personal hitman for about four years now..." He continued to smoke from his cigarette as Bard looked on his with a serious face but a satisfied outlook.
"That's a neat story" Rez said sarcastically, zipping up his pants and turning back around. "Now shut it and concentrate on the horizon."
"Why?" Bard asked.
"To help the time pass" Rez said.
"I think talking helps the time to pass." Bard said.
"Whatever" Rez huffed. The light started to dim from the other end of the ship. The pirates took turns steering through the night while others took turns fishing and maintaining the ship from the under deck, which they all referred to as the 'Operations' or Op Deck. Araly was soundly sleeping, as was Max, with the ropes holding fast under his oddly disproportionate weight.
As the night came, sleep began to overcome the participants. Even worse than not eating with food in plain sight was not sleeping after such a long and exhausting day of pointless torture and pain. Bard began nodding off occasionally, but Zan kicked him to keep him up. Without the proper energy all he could muster was a brief grunt of thanks. Zan's energy was wearing thin as well, but he was able to concentrate on the water to stay awake. As for Rez, he always demanded that his eyes were just closed, not that he was sleeping, when prodded by Bard.
"This is getting insane" Rez said, making Bard jump. "We shouldn't have to do this under such extraordinary conditions."
"Meaning what?" Zan demanded.
"It's a peaceful night on the Grand Line" Rez said. "That in itself is a huge contradiction. Do you know how hard it is to get any sleep on this damn ocean?"
"Hey Rez" Bard said sleepily, "I've got a question for you."
"Fire away" Rez said, allowing his exhaustion to cloud his better judgment against letting his rivals speak.
"If you win, what will you name this ship?" was Bard's inquiry. Rez only had to think for a second, but he had his answer prepared beforehand.
"'The Heavenly Tiger'" Rez said proudly. "It's a good name, right?"
"Meh" Bard replied apathetically. "I like mine better."
"I wanted to name it 'The Shadow of Destiny'" Zan interjected. Rez just pointed an angry, shaking finger at him with a heavy scowl. Suddenly, Rez's face changed to concern when he saw Bard. Bard was looking down at the water with bulging eyes and an open mouth. "Bard, what's up?" Zan asked. He and Rez both followed his frightened gaze and returned with frightened gazes of their own.
"What's that?" Bard asked quiveringly, pointing down to a monster that swam just under the surface.
"I'm not sure" Zan started, "but I think it's a Sea King..."
"Yeah" Rez continued "but what kind?" The monster's head slowly peaked up above the surface of the water, its body below keeping steady pace with the ship. It's huge mouth extended up and outwards from its slender, serpentine head, riddled with terrible fangs below its beady, yellow eyes.
"It's the 'Happy Ripper'" Zan said despairingly. "A Sea King that can be found in the Grand Line. It's huge mouth is strong enough to bite apart a Marine battleship..."
"Oh" Bard said. "That's bad." The monster growled at the dangling men who found a renewed energy in the adrenaline they got from the unbridled terror they were experiencing at the moment. Its growling was low but terrifying, prompting Bard to say the obvious to Zan.
"I didn't plan this..." he admitted modestly.
