A/N

First I want to say thanks to everyone who has taken the time to stop by and read my little tale. Your kind words have been very encouraging to this fanfic newbie! So glad y'all like it so far!

To my girls….LolaRosa – thanks for all the late night chats and moral support – much appreciated!! MWAH! And to ChangedbyEdward, my beta queen! Thanks so much for correcting all my errors and challenging me to be better – means a lot!! Much love! If you haven't had the opportunity to read the works of these two lovelies…..please run to their profiles here at FFN – AWESOME stories!

Last but not least, my undying appreciation to Ms. Meyers for creating these characters that we all love so well…..and wished we owned!

Enjoy!!


Chapter 5

(Bella's POV)

As much as I enjoyed my time with both my visitors, I was appreciative of the time alone with Esme when Carlisle stepped out. From the moment I had met her, she had been so welcoming and loving and I had missed her terribly when they had left me. As devoted as I was to Renee, Esme represented the mother figure that I had so desperately longed for in my life.

We sat, curled up together on the hospital bed, for a long time after Carlisle left. We didn't speak at first, but then Esme quietly began to tell me about the home she had been restoring in Ithaca. I listened carefully as she told me the history of the house and what she had done to bring it back to its former glory. I asked a few questions but mostly just sat and listened to the soothing bell tone of her voice.

I felt my eyes starting to droop and I fought against the exhaustion that was once again trying to claim me.

"It's alright, Bella; close your eyes and rest, sweetheart. I promise I won't leave you." She hugged me against her cool frame and I rested my head against her shoulder, unable to fight the pull any longer.


(Esme's POV)

I held her close and let her drift off, hoping that she would get some peace in her slumber. I could tell just by looking at the amethyst-colored shadows under her eyes that she had not had a decent night's sleep in ages. Carlisle had mentioned that she had been suffering from nightmares, which in reality was nothing new for our Bella, but it pained me to know that one of my own was the cause of them now.

I brushed a few strands of her hair away from her face and studied the girl I so longed to call my daughter. The minute Edward brought her into our home our lives had changed for the better, but what had we done in return? I had known that night when Edward demanded we leave Forks that we were not making the right choice, but he was convinced it was the only option for fear of her safety. But what could possess him to think that this was a better situation for her? How could he not tell that even though she had not made the change physically, she had already left her human world behind?

The door of Bella's room opened and I lifted my eyes to meet those of my beloved. He crossed the room instantly and gently kissed my forehead, then traced down my nose to feather his lips against mine. A pleasant calm came over me and I smiled as he perched on the edge of the bed, holding my palm in his. His tender eyes grazed over the sleeping form next to me and I heard him quietly sigh.

"I spoke with Charlie." He spoke in a hushed tone that only I would be able to hear, not wanting to disturb Bella's nap.

"How did he react when you told him that she was more herself?" I shifted slightly to face him but not enough for Bella to notice.

"He was obviously grateful and relieved to hear that she was responding to us." Carlisle glanced towards the lunch tray that Bella had barely touched. "He is still very concerned that she isn't eating – her weight loss terrifies him more than anything, I think."

"That is understandable, Carlisle; she has become dreadfully thin. I think she may be smaller than Alice now and Bella is not meant to be that tiny." I brushed the hair away from her face so that we could study her complexion. "She is so pale. Her veins should not be so visible and her skin is not a healthy color by any means."

Carlisle nodded in agreement. "But she does look a little better than she did, Esme. I was horrified when I first saw her." He gently lifted her wrist in his hand and felt for her pulse, listening for it as well. I smiled as he did this – it always amazed me how human Carlisle could appear just by performing the simplest actions. After a few moments he placed her hand back against the blanket. "She is sleeping quite peacefully. Much better than yesterday."

He stood and walked towards the tiny window of her room. "I had a hard time convincing Charlie to hold off coming to see her. I think he planned to be on the road the minute he left work, but I begged him to wait just a bit longer. I am not sure how long he will truly wait."

"Did you bring up the possibility of having her come to live with us for awhile?" I knew that it was highly improbable that Charlie would even consider it, but it was something that Carlisle and I both felt would help Bella the most.

"I did not. I knew there was no point. He is grateful to a point for our helping her, but he is terrified that Edward will return and that we will allow him access to her." Carlisle turned from the window to look at Bella. "To be totally honest, I'm not so sure that I blame him."

I felt Bella move against me and noticed a slight change in her breathing so glanced down to see if she was still asleep. As she opened her eyes and looked up at me, it was easy to tell from the frustrated look on her face that she had heard Carlisle's last comment about her father.

"OK, Carlisle, spill the beans. What did my dear old Dad have to say?" she asked with a hint of resignation in her voice.

Carlisle looked at her and smiled a grin that I had not seen on his face in a long time.

"Bella, you almost had me thinking you were able to read minds." A look of regret immediately crossed his face and I knew that he was afraid that the reminder of Edward might upset her.

Bella sat up and squirmed around to sit beside me, leaning back against the wall. "Don't worry about me, Carlisle. I don't want you to feel like you're walking on eggshells around me. I know that I'm not in the best shape, but I'm not as fragile as you all believe." She cleared her throat and looked him square in the eye. "How long do I have before I have to face Charlie?"

Yet another sign that Bella was on her way back to her old self. Carlisle sat in the chair and leaned in towards the bed. "I'm not sure, Bella. I convinced him to give you a bit of time, but you know your father better than I do. How patient a man is he?"

A faint smile touched her lips. "Not very."

I took Bella's hand in mine. "Bella, you know that he is only concerned for your welfare. You can't blame a father for fearing for his daughter's safety and well-being."

"I know, Esme, and I love him dearly." She sighed and played with my ring. "I just can't handle the questions yet."

"Bella, all I can do is keep him abreast of your progress and try and convince him to wait." Carlisle glanced at his watch and I sensed that our visit with Bella was coming to an end. "Bella, they are going to bring your dinner shortly and I want you to try and eat some of it even though it isn't altogether appetizing by any means. Starting tomorrow there will be a big improvement in your meals however. I stopped at the nurse's station and informed them that we would be looking after your meals after today."

Carlisle stood and watched as I leaned towards Bella and kissed her gently on the forehead. "I will be back tomorrow, sweetheart. Try and eat, ok?"

Bella nodded and although I could see the look of dread cross her face at the thought of us leaving her again, I knew that we did not have the option to stay and that she understood as well. Carlisle squeezed her hand in his and bid her goodnight, promising to see her first thing in the morning.


(Bella's POV)

They brought me my tray moments after Carlisle and Esme left and I rolled my eyes at their lame attempt of macaroni and cheese. I grimaced, closed my eyes, and forced a few forkfuls down my throat. I shoved that away and drank the milk that accompanied my food, thankful that there wasn't anything that they could really do to ruin it. I poked at the orange Jell-O with my plastic spoon and when it didn't even jiggle, I decided that Carlisle would forgive me for not trying it. I pushed the dining table away from the bed so I wouldn't have to watch the Jell-O shrivel, and closed my eyes to consider the day's events.

Sitting and visiting with the two of them had been wonderful. I still felt shell-shocked from the whole family deserting me, but having Carlisle and Esme return to me eased the pain a little. I felt stronger than I had in a long time, and although I knew I couldn't let myself completely depend on them, it was nice to feel as though they were on my side. When had it become about sides? What did I do to make him stop loving me? I felt the knot building in my chest, but I mentally pushed it back down so that I could think. He obviously had decided I was not worth the effort and that hurt more than anything because it was what I had always believed. But if that were the case, why would Esme and Carlisle return to me? I hated to think it was guilt that had brought them back, but even if it was, I wasn't sure that I would or even could fight it.

For so long I had dreamed of being part of their life – a member of their family. It had not been something Edward would even discuss, but I knew that the rest of the Cullens thought about it. How could they not? Although they had always made me feel welcome in their home, I knew it was difficult for them to have a human so close. There was always the fear that something could happen to cause one of them to attack me, a perfect example being my birthday party. It would be so much simpler if they would allow me to make the sacrifice so that constant worry could be laid to rest. If I couldn't have Edward, could I not still have them as a family? I closed my eyes and rested my head against the pillow. As I fell asleep, I found myself pondering the possibility of becoming a vampire yet again.


End of Chapter- please, please review!! Reviews might make Edward want to come home sooner!