Disclaimer: Don't own it, just get a kick out of writing about it. Thanks Stephenie!
AN: I'm not going to write some long, drawn out note when most of you probably just want to hurry up and get to the next chapter. But for what it's worth, I am sincerely sorry for the extended wait time for this update. Please don't hate me!!!
Under a mantle of millions of heavenly orbs, Rosalie had told me she wanted me. Me.
As the realization slowly sunk into my inebriated head, I tried to separate the venereal desires of my body from those other, more complex emotions that I had yet to figure out. Something deep within was nagging me to not confuse one with the other, but when Rosalie's sensuous mouth had finally met mine, I was too distracted to continue down that perfidious path. Licentious thoughts were all that filled her mind, and they quickly infected mine as well.
Despite the fervor of her words, that initial kiss started off rather languidly for us; the heat from her touch practically scorching me to the point where we both pulled away. But just as soon as the electric current was broken, we were drawn together once more. I pushed forward off of the wall and recaptured her swollen lips with mine, this time lingering longer, relishing the blistering heat that consumed me at every point our flesh came into contact. Her hand that had been on my arm was now upon my shoulder and still moving, sliding leisurely along my collarbone to the base of my neck. A shiver coursed through me when she extended one finger and traced her fingernail around from the hollow of my throat to top of my spine. The gentle touch was strangely almost too much for me to handle - I had to fight back the growl that threatened to emit from my throat and the urge to roughly push her to the ground.
Breaking apart once more, she pulled away a little further this time, opening her heavy-lidded eyes and searching out mine. My labored breathing seemed embarrassingly loud and human – but then I realized she was gulping in deep breaths of the sticky night air as well, even though we both did not need it. Was this bizarre, respiratory reaction tied directly to our former, mortal habits, or was it an indication of something more?
Before I could excogitate further, Rosalie opened her mind to me.
I want you, Edward.
Nodding twice, I wrapped my free arm around her back and pulled her forward, kissing her again. "I know," I muttered against her sweet lips.
The vibration of my words seemed to set off a bout of tremors just under her skin; as they dissipated down through her body, she rocked forward, slamming both of us back into the outside wall. The force of our combined momentum was too much for the termite-infested wood – I felt it start to give as Rosalie pressed her hips into mine. I wanted to stifle the annoying voice of rationalism that tromped through my head, reminding me that we were leaving evidence behind of our romantic tryst, but it refused to be silenced. After all, it was Esme's cabin – what would she think if she saw massive holes in the walls, shaped ironically like a human form?
Reluctantly, I conceded to the more prudent line of thinking, but not completely. Fighting against her newborn strength and tightening my hold on her waist, I lifted her up off the ground and carried us a step away from the cabin. "Do you want to get caught?"
Rosalie arched her back, throwing her legs around my waist and nearly causing both of us to tumble to the ground.
We'll tell her it was bears.
I snorted at her mischievous thought and buried my face into her silken tresses.
"Naughty girl."
She growled, then ran her tongue along my jaw, setting off a firestorm of avidity throughout my veins.
I'll show you naughty.
Before I could react, she released her hold with her legs, stepping down and pushing me backwards against my will. I inwardly flinched, awaiting the sensation of the damaged wall, but it never came. My feet continued to awkwardly step backwards repeatedly, driven by Rosalie's momentum and commanding strength. Her mouth was still eagerly working against my skin, kissing me ardently as if we were standing still. And her hands had slid forward, each one capturing my arms and forcing my hold around her waist to relinquish as she shackled my wrists in her vise-like grip.
Eventually I came to realize that we were no longer outside - she had steered us backwards into the cabin, and through the pitch-black darkness I could vaguely make out the interior walls and recently repaired ceiling. I also detected the scent of fresh-cut pine, and glanced out of the corner of my eye to the left, seeking out the source. But just then, Rosalie halted our movements.
"What are you thinking?" she inquired, leaning back to fully appraise my expression. My eyes found hers immediately and focused on the long, sensuous lashes that framed them. So beautiful.
"Just admiring your loveliness," I whispered reverently.
"Liar." She pulled my wrists forward so that they rested between us. "You weren't looking at me a second ago. And you definitely weren't thinking of me."
I smirked unconsciously, amused at her apparent irritation with my wayward glances at things other than her. "Don't worry, Rose. You have my full attention now."
She sneered, her grip tightening to a painful state. "Prove it."
My body reacted instantly to her words as a shiver of exhilaration raced through me. But I fought to maintain my composure, because I instinctively knew it was better not to let her think she already had the upper hand.
"Then let go of my wrists."
Rosalie bit her bottom lip as she slowly unlocked her hold, a flicker of excitement haunting her effervescent eyes. Her mind was focused on only one thing – anticipation. A hundred scenarios flew through her head of what I could possibly do to her. Some of them were rather original and quite provocative, and for a split-second I actually considered following through on more than one. But she'd know that I had seen them in her mind, and there'd be little surprise. So instead, I let my instincts drive my actions.
I pivoted to the left and took a step forward, circling halfway around her. I could still read her mind, and she was confused by my movement, having expected me to embrace her in some way. But despite the urge to reach out and trace my hand along her shoulder, I refused to touch her, instead stopping directly behind her and standing perfectly still for a moment, inhaling her intoxicating scent.
Eventually I leaned in, mere inches from her ear. "You called me a liar before." As my breath washed over her skin, she shivered in anticipation. "You think that I'm immune to your charms and your appeal." Rosalie sucked in a sharp breath before starting to replace the wall to hide her thoughts.
I clucked my tongue. "Please don't. Besides, you've shown me enough of what you're really thinking. Why block me now?"
Rosalie swallowed thickly, then spoke. "Keep going."
Smirking, I leaned in a bit more, this time allowing one hand to ghost along the crown of her head. "For some reason I have yet to figure out, you doubt yourself, even though outwardly you're nothing but over confident, especially around me. Why is that?"
"Because I never know where I stand with you," she murmured bashfully. Within her mind, I could clearly see how difficult it was for her to admit such a thing. She was so accustomed to people tripping over themselves to please her, that she had absolutely no experience with aloofness or ambiguity. Though it bothered her not to have that normal feeling of security, it also excited and intrigued her.
It was only fair I return her forthrightness, so I spoke candidly. "Sometimes I don't know what to make of you either, Rose. Yet I keep finding myself unable to stay away." I stepped forward until my chest was resting against her back. She shivered again. "One minute everything seems perfectly clear with you…with us. Then the next, I'm completely baffled by your reactions and thoughts."
She nodded. "Yes, me too."
I turned my head until my lips were flush against her ear. "It's that constant state of unease that draws me to you like a moth to a light bulb. But what do I do about it?"
Rocking backwards against me, she sighed and shook her head. "I don't know. Am I supposed to feel such strong, conflicting emotions? Is that part of my…change?"
"Yes." My other hand inadvertently rose to capture her elbow, pulling her more tightly against me. "It'll get better after the first year."
"How can you be so sure?" she whispered quietly. Within her mind, I saw uncertainty and trepidation haunting every decision, emotion and experience since Carlisle had changed her. Her world had been entirely turned upside down, not only from the physical change, but to her since of self as well. Everything that defined Rosalie had been ripped out from underneath her, and despite the gift of supreme beauty, enhanced senses, and immortality, she continued to yearn for the one thing she couldn't get back – the sense of who she was in this new life.
Once again, I felt an overwhelming urge to protect and guide her, but the feel of her body pressed against mine made me also want to kiss her. The urges quickly became tangled, muddying my thought process as I leaned in further to inhale the sweet scent of her hair. "Because I just am."
She froze, then pulled away. "Have you…" Her words trailed off, but her mind finished the sentence, flashing image after image of me with other faceless women, some of them even vampires.
Chuckling at her overactive imagination, I reached down to spin her around until she faced me. Her dark, red eyes smoldered with conflicting emotion in the darkness, yet obviously not amused with my response. I reigned in my laughter and composed myself, staring intently into her eyes.
"Rose, I've never been with a woman."
Her mind went blank as my words sunk in, her gaze unwavering. She stood that way for several minutes, a marble goddess holding court in the dank cabin. Finally, I saw her throat twitch as she swallowed once, preparing to speak.
"I…" Once again, her thoughts took over as she struggled to control her emotions, her mouth closing, then opening again. "Edward, we…"
She never finished, nor did I see her next move planned out in her mind. In one quick, smooth move she threw her arms around my neck and pulled herself up until her lips met mine, painfully crushing them as she kissed me roughly. Startled, I reflexively moved my hands to grip her waist, preparing to push her back and away. But she anticipated my response as if she were reading my own thoughts. Just as my hands found her, she forced her weight forward, pushing me backwards at an alarming speed into the back wall of the cabin. The sound of disintegrating wood flooded the room along with fine particles of dust and organic material, and if it not for her eager mouth working feverishly against mine, I would have begun to worry once more about the damage we were inflicting. However, I was quickly distracted from that line of thought.
Rosalie pinned me to the buckled wall, one hand buried in my hair while the other slid down my chest, stopping at my ribcage. My head was swimming with her honeysuckle scent, and I pulled her more tightly against me.
How anything or anyone could be so intoxicating was beyond comprehension - I craved her more than knowledge, more than the soothing sounds of music that always seemed to conciliate me, more than blood. I was no longer in control of my actions; instead, I released the animal inside of me and let it act out at will.
A feral growl escaped my lips as her tongue forced its way through my overheated lips. I drank her in, drowning in the tantalizing feeling of vertigo that seemed to liquefy my bones and cause me to nearly crumble to the floor. Rosalie, again sensing what was happening to me, reached under my arm with the hand that had been on my chest and effortlessly pulled my sinking weight back up, holding me firmly in place as she continued to kiss me. When her hungry mouth finally moved to nip down my jawbone, I gasped for breath, my eyes rolling back into my head. Lost to the sensations of her tongue and teeth, I didn't feel her shift her weight until I heard the thundering crash behind me.
The crumbling wall gave way as we fell against it, oblivious to everything around us but each other. I thought I detected the almost inaudible creak of a roof beam, straining to stay upright as it lost support on one side. A cool brush of night air caressed my cheek, and it took me several seconds to realize there was now a gaping hole in the wall.
Without the leverage of the unsteady wall, Rosalie spun us around and pushed me to the debris-filled floor. I stumbled awkwardly as she fell atop me, never breaking her embrace from my cheek, and suddenly I was overwhelmed with a sense of surrealism. We lay tangled as one, covered in shards of wood, half in and half out of the broken cabin, the contrasting sights and sounds of the forest and man-made dwelling competing for my attention.
But it was Rosalie's actions that commanded it. As she began to passionately suck on my earlobe, I gradually became aware of the hand that had been resting first on my chest, then under my arm. It was moving again, this time down the side of my torso until it stopped at the waistband of my jeans. Her hot breath washed over my ear as she finally spoke.
"I want you, Edward."
She tugged at my shirt, freeing it and allowing her access to flit her palm across the bare skin of my stomach. My muscles twitched instinctively, the sensation of her skin against mine feeling utterly heavenly, yet causing a wave of foreign emotions to plague my body to the point of unexplained terror. All of a sudden, everything that seemed so natural and right felt increasingly wrong. What was she doing to me?
Her hand began to move from my stomach back down to my waistband, pushing effortlessly against the taunt material until her fingertips slipped beneath. I jerked up, releasing my hold on her waist and capturing her devious wrist in my grip, halting her movement.
"What are you doing?" I seethed, the fear palatable and uncontrollable in my tone. Shocked, Rosalie pushed away from me, her eyes glinting in the faint moonlight that spilled into the building through the hole in the wall.
"I told you. I want you, Edward."
I scanned her mind, trying to decipher her words. But all I found was the same caldron of emotion, all intermingled to the point of ambiguity. I doubted she knew any better than I what she was really feeling at that moment.
We appraised one another for several seconds before I spoke. "Not like this."
She cocked her head to the side. "Like how?"
"You're not thinking clearly, Rose. We need to slow down."
"I don't think so."
Swallowing back the irritation that began to boil my blood, I fought to control my voice. "You're not thinking clearly," I repeated. "You're responding to your newborn urges, not acting as you would if you were…"
"Were what, Edward? Were human?"
Before I could respond, she slammed down the gate to her mind, preventing me from seeing the anger that I could clearly sense building inside of her. Her lip curled, a low snarl emitting from the back of her throat. "How dare you tell me what or how I should be thinking. What makes you an expert? A few more years under your belt as a blood-thirsty killer?" She paused, then leapt to her feet until she towered above me. "Because it certainly isn't from real experience!"
Fury erupted inside of me at the callousness of her snide remarks and I spoke again before thinking. "You never stop to listen to what I'm really trying to tell you, Rose! You're over-reacting and taking my words out of context. Don't turn this into something more than it is."
"I take it back."
I rolled my eyes despite myself. "Take what back?"
"Everything I said tonight. All of it. I changed my mind, Edward. I don't want you at all. Not even as a friend, or brother. And especially not as some…arranged lover or mate!"
In a blink she was gone, fleeing into the inky night and leaving me alone in the ruined cabin.
AN: Again, I apologize for how long this has taken. I'm not going to sit here and feed you excuse after excuse (though I do have some very legit ones). I just want to say thank you to everyone who continues to read, and it's because of all of the reviews that I soldier on and eek out the time to keep going. Thanks everyone!
