True Loves
Chapter 4: Fleeting Memories
Shepard went to the briefing room to face the Illusive Man one last time. When she saw his face, she could tell he was absolutely furious. "Shepard. That base could have helped us immensely. This setback could cost us the war with the reapers. It might have been our only chance! Why couldn't you understand that?"
"That base created a human reaper!" Shepard shot back. "That base was an abomination. We can't use something like that! Hell, you'd probably want to make your own reaper!"
"I only do what is best for humanity! Reaper technology is the most advanced that we know of in the entire universe. We could have done weapon studies, analyzed new shielding technology, who knows what all could have been accomplished? You let your feelings get in the way of your better judgment!"
"Humanity?" Shepard snorted. "No, you do what's best for Cerberus. That's your only interest. You'd crush the Alliance military beneath your heel before you'd let whatever you'd discover in that base out of Cerberus hands. Garrus died helping me destroy that base. And I think that by destroying that base I also protected the galaxy from a reign of tyranny led by you!
The Illusive Man snarled. "Is that so? Well, shut up for a second and listen to me. The reapers are my only concern. They must be stopped. As long as that goal is met, the ends justify the means! And now, thanks to you, it's all ruined! Your precious turian died for nothing! We stopped the Collectors, but we're no closer to stopping the incoming reaper horde than when we started! All of that power that could have been at my fingertips is now gone! You've failed your turian, you've failed me, and you've failed humanity!
Shepard had had enough. "Like hell, you vile son of a bitch." She pulled out her pistol and shot the console. The holographic room immediately distorted and vanished. She fired into it again and again, rendering it utterly useless. The Illusive Man, realizing what Shepard had done, roared angrily and threw his ashtray against the wall, smashing it to pieces.
"… Are you all right, Shepard?" EDI's voice rang through the intercom. "Would you like to lie down?"
Shepard was breathing rapidly, her heart racing. She put her pistol away and rubbed her forehead. "Yes, EDI, I think I will go lie down. Thanks."
"… I am sorry for your loss, Shepard. I understand what Mr. Vakarian meant to you. He was a good man."
"Yes, EDI, he was…" Shepard began before walking to the elevator, ignoring anyone she saw on the way.
Shepard was sitting on her bed, her legs pulled up close to her. She was thinking about what had happened back on the base. Garrus actually sacrificed himself. He was really dead. Garrus. Dead. She couldn't comprehend the fact that she'd truly never see him again. She thought of the night they'd spent together on the very bed she was sitting on now. Was that really less than 24 hours ago? It felt like a different lifetime. She was sifting through her feelings when she was disturbed by the doorbell.
"Huh, who is it?" she asked.
"It's me. May I come in? I thought you could use a friend right now."
Shepard got up to go to the door. "All right, I'm coming." She pushed the button beside the door and it slid open. Kasumi was standing on the other side.
This took Shepard by surprise. She turned around. No one was there. Shepard had become accustomed to Kasumi stealthily letting herself in after asking to enter.
"You're still here," Shepard said unbelievingly.
Kasumi smiled. "I thought it would be rude to just let myself in, considering the circumstances."
Shepard and Kasumi had made fast friends after meeting on the Citadel. She found Kasumi an easy person to talk to. She often came up to have chats with Shepard, often about her burgeoning relationship with Garrus. Shepard felt that out of everyone on the ship, Kasumi was her best friend.
"How are you holding up?" Kasumi asked. The two walked to Shepard's bed to sit.
"Lonely," Shepard responded, looking down at the bedspread. "I just, really can't believe he's… gone. I mean, just last night we had our first date, and ended up… y'know… and it just felt magical. I wanted that moment to never end. And now, no more of those moments can ever happen." She looked at Kasumi. "Why was I such a fool?" she yelled. "Why did I wait so long before ever admitting I had feelings for him? You'd think I'd have learned my lesson after I died, that we never know when our time will come. But I was arrogant, I felt for sure that nothing would happen to either of us, and I waited until just last night. We had one private night together! One! It's not fair, he deserved better than that! And now I'm left to wonder, 'Did he die for nothing? Was it my fault?'"
Kasumi pulled Shepard's face up to look her in the eyes. "Listen to me. Do NOT pay attention to whatever Harbinger or the Illusive Man said. Garrus did not die for nothing. He died for you. I did hear that whole conversation on the platform, you know. I know he promised to try and not make any sacrifices. But, Shepard, if he didn't take out the reaper, we never would have been able to escape. It would have killed all of us, and if it didn't, we would still never have been able to get away before the explosion. But he loved you so much that he was willing to… throw himself between you and the reapers to protect you." Kasumi was beginning to tear up as well. "You really know how to pick 'em, Shep. That man loved you like crazy."
Shepard looked at Kasumi with gratitude. "Thanks, Kass. But… wait, now that you mention it, I've gotta wonder, how exactly did you know what the Illusive Man said? I didn't mention that he said anything, and that room's supposed to be soundproof and the console's said to be unhackable."
Kasumi began to smile as well. "I was cloaked in the room with you when you two were having it out. I walked with you to the elevator, rode it up here with you, and waited just outside your door for a few minutes before I rang the doorbell. I thought you'd want at least a little time alone."
Shepard had an inquisitive look on her face. "But… why?"
"I wanted to make sure you had a friend with you when you felt your worst, even if you didn't know I was there. Remember," Kasumi started crying, "I lost my love, too."
Shepard had never felt so much love for Kasumi before that moment. She remembered that Kasumi had lost her lover, Keiji, when he was murdered by the ruthless crime lord, Donovan Hock. Shepard felt so touched that Kasumi would care so deeply for her.
"Losing Keiji was… difficult," Kasumi said, trying to keep her composure. "Destroying his graybox was like losing him for a second time. I wasn't even able to be there with him at the end. But, the memories of him help me through it. I remember our laughs together, the thrill of our cooperative heists, the private moments, and they all comfort me. He never truly, fully left me." She patted Shepard on the shoulder. "You're a strong woman, Shep. Remember what you and Garrus shared, no matter how fleeting, and you'll be able to make it through all right."
Shepard looked at her, lip quivering, and reached over to embrace her. They were both openly crying now, leaning on each other for support.
"And, Shepard," Kasumi said, "I wasn't able to see it, but it definitely sounds like that move your boyfriend did was pretty impressive."
That made Shepard smile a bit. "Yeah, I guess it was pretty impressive." She sighed, feeling more at peace. "He's my Archangel, watching from above…" The two mourning lovers sat there for what seemed an eternity, crying, embracing, and remembering the fleeting moments with their true loves.
