[A/N: Another hard chapter to write. This one has a lot of emotions in it. Heavy ones, so prepare yourselves. I just hope I wrote it good.
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WISE GIRL'S SEAWEED BRAIN
Chapter 16: THE DAY WE FELL APART
PERCY
Confused? Definitely. Disoriented? Pretty much.
See, I can't find the right words to describe how I was feeling. I knew I love Annabeth and I always will but Samantha . . . she just sort of snuck into me. For the past year, I'd seen her as my friend, a connection I had to the mortal world. She, along with Barry, Chuck and Pete, were my reminders that there was a world existing where monsters weren't trying to make a snack out of me. But since that day when Samantha made her confession . . . I don't know. I felt like a new light focused on her and I saw her for the first time without seeing her as a the girl dressed in tattered clothes and was in a desperate need of a friend. Instead, I began seeing her for what she really was: a beautiful, charming and kind girl.
I knew I shouldn't be feeling this way. Annabeth's my girlfriend; if I was going to feel these things for someone, it should be meant for her, not Samantha. But then again, my heart gave a jump whenever I see her. I felt nervous fluttering in my stomach whenever she was close.
Don't get me wrong, I was sure I still love Annabeth but Samantha was making me feel things I thought I'd reserved for Annabeth only.
It didn't exactly help me that Annabeth seemed to be giving Samantha and me time to ourselves. Usually, since the construction of the Parthenon was going on, she could pretty much do whatever she wanted. We had been spending more and more time together – watching movies, going to the mall, or just cuddling on her couch – but after Samantha's confession, I noticed she'd been visiting Olympus more than necessary.
And because of that, I found myself spending more time with Samantha. I couldn't pretend that things were the same because, really, they weren't. There was awkwardness (is there such a word?) with the way I got along with Samantha. Before, I could pretty much act however I wanted around her but now that I knew about her feelings, I felt like I kind of had to be a little more sensitive. I tried to avoid mentioning Annabeth whenever I could. Annabeth helped in her own way by avoiding any contact with me when Samantha was around. I was grateful for that. Even when I knew I shouldn't be doing what I did. There was nothing wrong if I kiss or hug my girlfriend, but I didn't want to hurt Samantha anymore.
Samantha had been more expressive. She was much sweeter to me than before; being the supportive friend she's always been, wiping my face after swim practice, and sometimes ruffling my hair before leaving – other than that, things were pretty much what they used to be. Of course, the changes were underneath them. I couldn't see them, but I could feel them.
I had talked to Amber one day. She said she thought she was doing me a favor by making Samantha confess, which at least a bit true – it had opened my eyes to what I had been doing – but I knew Samantha's welfare wasn't anywhere near Amber's best interest.
"If you do anything to hurt her again, you will answer to," I told her before walking away, leaving her and her friends staring at me open-mouthed. Amber probably thought she was driving us apart buts he did the opposite of that.
Anyway, Annabeth and I just finished seeing a movie at the mall and were having an early dinner when she opened up the subject I'd been trying to avoid. "So," she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, the way she always does whenever she's nervous. "You and Samantha are growing closer, huh?"
I didn't know how to answer because . . . well, she was right. There was a huge change with what I was feeling towards Samantha. That doesn't necessarily mean that it wasn't friendly anymore. I could just feel that my feelings weren't the way they were supposed to be.
Annabeth smiled. I didn't need to be a genius to know she was sad. "It's okay, Seaweed Brain." She took my hand and rubbed circles on my knuckles. "It's what I want."
I frowned. "What do you mean?"
Annabeth took a deep breath. "Percy, I . . ." She then seemed to decide against it and stopped herself. "Forget it, we'll talk about it later."
I squeezed her hand. "No, Annabeth. Tell me." I was feeling nervous and I didn't know why.
She shook her head. "Later. I promise." She leaned across the table and kissed me before standing up. "Come on," she said, offering me her hand. "Let's go to your apartment."
I smiled and took her hand.
Mom was at work and Paul wasn't home so we had the place to ourselves. I kicked the door close behind me and pulled Annabeth into a kiss. I don't know what made me. I guess I just missed her, which was ridiculous since we see each other every single day at school. I couldn't explain it but I felt it in my chest.
Annabeth's hand was tangled in my messy hair as she held me in the place. Our lips crashed tightly until it hurt. I could feel Annabeth shuddering. I couldn't help but smile. But when I realized it wasn't because of the kiss, my heart thumped.
She was crying.
I pulled away and looked at her. I could taste her salty tears on my lips. "Why are you crying?"
She shook her head. "I just . . . I feel like I'm losing the most important thing in my life."
I frowned. "You mean your dream as an architect? Why? You're doing great! From what I've heard, the gods are all loving your work." Annabeth glared at me. Go ahead, call me slow. I know I am.
"I wasn't talking about my dream, Seaweed Brain," she said impatiently.
"Then what?"
"You, dummy."
"What?" I asked. "Annabeth, you're not losing me. What are you talking about?" I knew what she was talking about but I couldn't bear to say it, knowing she had a point. I couldn't put it into words, but I knew something's changed. And I was afraid to face it. Not without Annabeth by my side.
"I am, Percy," she said. "Don't insult me by trying to deny it. I know it's true."
"Annabeth . . ."
She bit her lower lip and looked at me, a sad smile on her face. "Can we go to your room? There's something we need to talk about."
ANNABETH
I gave him a couple of days to figure out what he really wanted.
It was against what I really wanted to do. If it was up to me, I would've spent more and more time with Percy, making him realize that it's me he really needed. But that wasn't what I did. Instead, I gave him and Samantha more time to spend with each other. I know that wasn't probably the smartest course of action for a daughter of the wisdom goddess, but when your heart is at stake, you tend to think differently.
I thought that when Percy didn't see more of me, then he'd realize he missed me and would figure out that he wasn't falling for Samantha. I was a fool to think that. I watched them grow closer every second of every day. I knew Percy wasn't aware of it. Sam, too. Percy wasn't exactly the smartest person to deal with things like this and I knew the confusion was too much for him. I also knew that being around wasn't going to help things.
So, yeah. I let them. I was the one who handed him to Samantha. I remembered how I let his hand go last Valentine's Day after Samantha admitted that she had feelings for my boyfriend. If that wasn't foreshadowing of what was going to happen, then I didn't know what that was.
I closed Percy's door and told him to sit on the bed. I sat down sideway, facing him. His eyes never left my face and that made me more nervous. I didn't like what I was about to do but I knew it was necessary. For him. For me. And for us.
"Do you remember the first words I told you when we met?" I asked.
Percy chuckled. I knew he could feel the tension. "Yeah," he said. "You said 'You drool when you sleep.'" We shared a laugh. Right then, it felt like things were okay. It was like we were just reminiscing memories. I hoped they were. But they weren't. "Um, was I really . . . you know."
I laughed at him. "A bit," I admitted. "But I didn't mean to tell that to you, right after what you went through." I took a deep breath before proceeding. "The thing was, Percy, the moment you opened your eyes, I got distracted."
He raised his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"
"I mean you have the most beautiful pair of eyes I've ever seen," I explained. My face was burning, despite of the situation. I didn't plan to tell this to him, now of all times. It just slipped from my mouth. "They were like oceans – I should've suspected who you were just by looking in your eyes – deep, brilliant and sparkling. I wasn't sure if, uh, that was even possible since you just lost your mother, but I could swear that there was an, um, a really . . . uh." A daughter of Athena, stammering? Rare! The situation, added to what I was saying made me more anxious to get through this conversation.
Not that I was anxious to do what I had to . . .
Percy laughed quietly. "You're blushing, Wise Girl."
I glared at him. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that you look good. There. I said it. Don't let that go through your head, Seaweed Brain."
"Is that the reason why you love me?" he asked, smiling. "Because of my looks?"
"No," I said. "That was a bonus. I fell for you because of who you are, not because of the way you look. You're really annoying and infuriating but incredibly sweet and very loyal. You are brave and, got to admit, a bit smarter than I thought."
"Are you complimenting me or just listing adjectives?" he teased.
"None of the above," I said. "I'm telling the truth." I looked straight into his eyes and tried not to melt. "I'm lucky I have you, Seaweed Brain."
Percy put his arms around me. "I'm luckier, Annabeth. I didn't know how someone like you could fall for someone like me, but some god or goddess must really like me for making you love me."
"That wasn't what happened," I scolded him, pulling away. "I fell for you because of me, not because a certain god or goddess made me."
"Fine," he said. "I was just teasing." He took a deep breath and said, "I know you didn't bring me here to talk about those. What is it?"
I sighed. "What do you think of Samantha?" I blurted out.
He frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I mean what do you think of Samantha?" I repeated. "And please don't tell me that she's friend or anything. I want you to tell me what you think of her as her, not a friend but as an individual. As a girl."
It took him some time before he answered. "She's, um, beautiful, I guess. Kind and warm." I nodded, urging him on, even when every word felt like a spray of Hydra poison. "She'd been through so much in her life, but she's still a great person. She's very much like you, Annabeth."
"Don't say that," I said. "Don't say that you fell for her because she's like me."
"What?" he asked, clearly shocked. "Who said anything about me falling for her?"
"I did," I said. Percy opened his mouth to protest but I stopped him. "I'm not stupid, Percy. And I most certainly am not blind. I saw the way you look at her. I saw the way you protect her – "
"That's because she's my friend," he said.
"Do you usually let your friends kiss you?" I challenged.
That shocked him. "You knew?"
I nodded. "Of course, I do. I saw the two of you. I watched you hold her. I saw when she kissed you and when you didn't pull away. I was there, Percy."
"Annabeth, I'm so sorry but – "
"Don't be," I said, touching his face again. "I mean, we can't control who we fall for, right?"
"I didn't mean to – "
"I know," I said simply, my voice surprisingly steady. I thought that this conversation would be the one to make me cry but it didn't. Instead, I felt strong, because I had to. To be strong in front of Percy. The tears and weakness could wait. "Percy," I whispered, holding his hands and looking into his eyes. "I love you. I just want you to look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel something for her, too."
He dropped his gaze and I felt my world crashing down. I swallowed and forced myself to be strong. "I'm so sorry," he murmured. "I don't know when this started, or how strong this is but . . . I just – I'm sorry, Annabeth. I'm such a horrible person."
"No," I said, taking his face in my hands again. "You're not. Percy, listen to me." I made him make eye contact with me and when he did; my heart broke, seeing his eyes were getting teary. "It's not your fault. None of this is. You didn't choose to fall for Samantha." The words alone felt like centaur blood in my mouth. I had started it; however, I had to finish it. "I can see how confused you are right now. And I don't want to be the one to stop you from knowing who you really are and who you want." I choked back a sob before continuing. "Percy . . ."
"I think I know what you're saying to me," he said, biting his lower lip.
"Then let me say it." My voice betrayed me when it quavered. I cursed myself for being weak. "I've been so selfish because I love you so much, and I know how much you love me. But Samantha . . . she could be the one you really need. And you won't know what you really want if I string you along."
Something I didn't expect happened. Tears fell from Percy's eyes and that's all it took for me to release the pent-up emotions I'd been holding back. Percy's face dissolved into a blur. I wiped the tears away impatiently. If it was the last time I'd see him, I wanted his face burned clear into my brain. Not this way.
"I just want you to know that you couldn't have loved me better," I said. Looking at him made it that much harder but I couldn't tear my eyes away. "And I want you to move on, Percy. I want you to know that I love you enough to let you go." Those last words were the worst things I had to say, not only for me but for Percy, as well.
Percy was crying. It was the first time I saw him like this and it broke me – not just my heart, because I know that won't be enough. Seeing him cry broke me. It hurt more than anything else.
"Annabeth, please don't," he pleaded. His tone almost made me reconsider what I was doing but I'd made up my mind. I was doing it for him. "I can figure this out, with you. Just please, don't leave me. Please. I love you."
"And I love you, too. Which is why I'm setting you free." I kissed him. One last time I wanted to feel his lips on mine. I never wanted our kiss to end, but I knew that someone had to go. And that someone was me.
I stood up and ran to the door but Percy was faster than me. He was already there, blocking my exit. His face was streaked with tears and more were falling from his eyes. "Annabeth, don't. Please. I'll do anything. Just don't leave. I need you."
I was getting more and more upset. I needed to get out of there to let everything out. It's not in my nature to see let people see my weakness. I knew that in order for Percy to let me go, I had to hurt him. And I hated myself for it.
I looked up at him, making my stare fierce. "Don't you get it, Seaweed Brain? I broke up with you not just for you. I did that for me, too. You're just holding me back from reaching my dreams, Percy." He took a step back like I punched him in the gut. I knew I'd gotten too far but I couldn't take back what I said. "You're always demanding for time and attention. I couldn't concentrate with doing what I've always wanted to because of you!"
Percy looked like he was trying to breathe without air. "Right," he said. "Um, I didn't mean to. And I'm sorry but I can promise not to be as demanding as I used to be. I promise I'll be contented with what little time you can give me and not ask for more. I'll do that but please don't lea – "
"You're just a distraction, Percy Jackson!" I yelled. I didn't give him the chance to reply. I pushed him aside and ran.
I wasn't sure how I got back to my apartment. The next thing I knew, I was sitting with my back on the door of my room, my knees against my chest. I balled my fist, bit into it and screamed, letting the hurt, sadness and frustration out. I screamed until my voice gave out.
[Please don't hate me for that. It has to happen, trust me. Just continue reading, okay? Things will get better, I promise.
Next - Chapter 17: GIVE YOUR HEART A BREAK]
