I honestly don't know where this is going

I'm still not sure where this is going to lead…I am just pouring words out of my mind, making things up as I go along. Not exactly what my usual style is (which is to know the end at the beginning) but maybe it will turn out for the better…even if it does become a little twisted…

NOTE: I may take a break from writing the next chapter for a day or two. It's been only two days since I started writing this particular fanfiction story and I'm already on Chapter 5, so I'd like to take a break and maybe eat and drink for once. :P

Chapter #5: Confrontations

James could sense something different in Lily; it was besides the way she looked and carried herself. She acted differently towards him. Throughout the day, he eyed her carefully, trying to find a way to approach the girl without making her think he was going to automatically call her Tomato. But for once, James didn't want to tease her. He didn't want to purposely make her angry and then laugh at her responses.

He wanted to talk to her, to be able to get to know her. For the first time, James wondered where she got her Potions talent and which of her parents had given her red hair. Lily was Muggle-born and therefore it was unusual that she had such a knack of mixing substances into the exact correct form. For the first time ever, he wanted to get closer to her.

But Lily didn't seem to want to get anywhere near James. Every time he had called out "Hey Lily!" as friendly as he could while luckily passing her by the Charms room or seeing her walk down Staircase #56, she always glared at him before disappearing into the large crowd of witches and wizards. It was as if she was telling James that she was doing him a favor by avoiding him, as if she was warning him that if he kept pursuing her, she would curse him, and that it was better to leave her alone.

James and Remus were playing Wizard's Chess in the Great Hall after an early dinner, with Sirius and Peter on either side of them. James was sweating, for he was about to lose to Lupin's unbeatable Queen once again for the third time in a row.

"Damn you, Queen! Why don't you just die?" James yelled at the movable black figure, which folded her arms and made a "Humph!" noise before knocking his pawn out of the way.

"You have…the cruelest…figures in your Chess set," James said, glaring at Remus as if it was all his fault.

"Hey, don't look at me, I got this for my birthday from my grandparents," Remus reminded him. At the same time, he hid a grin behind his small moustache.

It was then that James saw Lily walking by with a couple of friends, the book One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi clutched in her hands. Suddenly, he dropped the knight he was about to move on the board and told his friends, "See you later, got some unfinished business to attend," and left the table to catch up with Lily. As James approached them, he caught small bits and pieces of a broken conversation.

"Maybe a love potion would work—"

"—No way, that'd be way too weird…"

"Why not? It's a good potion to use and not too hard—"

"Hey Lily."

The two witches and wizard turned around. Lily was with Gwen Garish and Simon Fry, two fifth years whom she often paired up with in their Transfiguration class. Gwen saw that it was James and immediately started giggling.

"Hey there James, what's going on?" she said, waving shyly at him.

"Hi, Gwen," James said, though in no special way; he was used to this sort of treatment. He turned his attention to Lily, who had suddenly stiffened.

"Lily, what's up?" he tried to say nicely, but she almost instantly snapped, "Why do you keep following me around, Potter? And when were we ever on first-name terms, anyway? I liked our old routine from before, you know, why did you change it, eh?"

Taken aback by this sudden response, James said, "Well with teachers you usually say 'Professor…' and then their last name; it's a sign of respect. With regular students—"

"Oh don't give me that bullcrap," Lily told him. "You think you're so cool with that stupid Snitch and your stupid comments, but you're really nothing better than any of us. Stop bothering me, Potter, or I swear I will hex you to pieces." She moved forward to carry on with Gwen and Simon, but James wasn't going to give up so easily, not when he had her right there.

"No, hold on," said James, once again blocking her way. "Just…c'mon, Lily—why don't we go to Hogsmeade together tomorrow? We can get to know each other better…"

"Go to Hogsmeade with you? I'd rather eat a hippogriff," Lily cried, laughing as though not believing he actually asked a question with such an obvious answer. "Save it, Potter, I'm not going out with you, nor will I ever."

And before James could say any further, she had hit him with her Potions book and disappeared once again with her friends; he only caught the last few words of Gwen Garish as they left.

"…Why are you so mean to him, Lil'? He's really not that bad of a guy, and super cute too—!"

Grumbling to himself, James stomped his way back towards the table, where his friends were watching, amused.

"Why is it that I always get the wrong girls to like me?" he asked himself softly, but out loud.

"You don't, you just always seem to like the wrong girls," said a voice behind him, a snarling, evil, hungry male's voice. But it was not a voice James didn't recognize.

One moment, Sirius was watching James make yet another attempt to talk to Lily and was feeling an angry swoop in his stomach that made him want to punch James. The next moment, he was watching Severus Snape do that action for him.

"Hey!" he heard Remus call out. "Cut that out, Snape, leave James alone!"

Severus looked menacingly at Remus while holding James' hands behind his back. "'Course I won't leave him alone, you retard, not when he won't leave us alone." He swiped at James' head again. Remus was making his way to them, his wand already drawn out.

But James was quicker. His wrist slid out of Severus's grasp and automatically lunged into his robes. In seconds, he had his captor's wand.

"Four against one, you're dead Snivellus," Sirius found himself saying, with his own wand out now. Although he still felt resentful towards James, their loathing for Severus was strongly united as always.

"Go ahead, hex me," Severus said quietly. "I don't care, but I warn you not to bother Lily Evans every year and still you pay me no mind."

"So, what, you're here to threaten me for what you call 'bothering' her?"

"I saw you this morning, trying to ask her out. She said no and you're still trying to pursue her. Why can't you just get it into your puny little mind that Lily doesn't like nor want you?"

James raised an eyebrow. "What are you, her guardian angel or something? Lily's grown up, she can take care of herself. She doesn't need you to defend her for anything; and quite frankly, in any other person's point of view, I think she's been doing pretty good trying to keep me off her tail."

"Yes…she has grown up," Severus said quietly, almost as if to himself, then regained his position. He opened his arms wide and continued, "Well Potter, Lupin, Black, Pettigrew, go ahead and curse me. Shoot at me with the best hexes you've got; I know it'll be fun for you. As long as you promise me you won't cause Lily any more trouble ever again, you can do anything you want. I won't stop you."

"You're crazy, Snake," Peter told him. Remus murmured in agreement. James laughed at Severus and said, "Go back to your dormitory, Snivellus. Game's over."

"I am serious, Potter."

"Are you really willing to do anything for me to leave Lily alone?"

"Yes," Severus told him firmly.

Remus walked to James and ushered him to walk away. Sirius and Peter followed them, the first of the two using magic to pack up the Wizard's Chess set and make it soar above him. James looked at Severus lividly in the eyes, threw him back his wand, and turned to walk away with the rest. And then…

"Not so fast, Potter—" But before Severus could utter a single spell, James and Sirius had both turned around quickly and shouted, "Expelliarmus!" holding their wands out tightly.

Severus immediately shot backwards and was instantly unconscious as his head hit the Gryffindor house table.

That night, Sirius and James both had detention in the Charms room with Argus Filch. Earlier that day a first year student had accidentally sent bluebirds shooting out from his wand and there had been such a commotion trying to send the birds free from the castle. As a result, blue and white feathers were everywhere; the boys' assignment was to pick up as many as they could until Filch was tired enough to let them go.

"Well, at least we can still go to Hogsmeade tomorrow," James said, cheerfully summoning feathers from the floor and throwing them into the dustbin.

"Mm…" Sirius replied absentmindedly. As James told his best friend different schemes he had thought up of to win Lily's admiration, the latter was thinking on a different line.

Sirius was remembering how Severus Snape had confessed overhearing James and Lily in the courtyard and how he accused James of "not leaving us alone." He recalled the way Severus had so willingly given himself up to curses and hexes to protect Lily and that strange, even scary, gleam in his eyes when he said Lily's name. And Sirius wondered if this was something to be concerned about, if Severus seemed to think of Lily more than a friend, maybe even more than a sister.

And Sirius began to wonder something else. Inside, his own heart was aching, his mind confused and not knowing what to do. For what is worse—knowing your enemy wanted the one you loved or that your best friend wanted her?