The fact that they almost made it, torturing all of them.

o o o

"You think this is a good idea?" Seth asks with his eyebrows pulled together, mustering Quil who digs through boxes and drawers in Jacob's old garage – a place that had become their refuge during the last four years.

It still looks pretty much the same it had that day when Quil and Leah had met in here, shortly after Jacob had left – left everything behind.

The Rabbit stands in it's place, tools still scattered across the surfaces, Jacob's grease-covered cut-offs hanging over the backrest of an old chair. It looks as if he only left for a minute to get something to eat, as if he would return any second, barking at Quil what the hell he was doing there.

It might still look the same in here but some things have certainly changed over the years. They brought things here. Memories, souvenirs. Reminders of a time that had almost made sense.

o o o

As a child, Bella always thought she would one day die because of her clumsiness. Stumble and get hit by a bus, run in front of a car, fall down the staircase, cut her wrists open by accident, hang herself with the clothesline. All those day-to-day accidents. That was how Bella had imagined her death to be like when she was young.

When she grew older, she was sure that her magnetic pull for danger would be her death one day. At a time, it was red-haired, cloaked or vicious vampires sucking her empty and leaving her behind somewhere in a damp, cold forest.

And then it was some big void that threatened to overwhelm her. Something she could not really define and, yet, was eating her from the inside out. But that she kept a secret, unable to explain it to herself and not wanting to worry anybody else with it.

And so it seemed an ironic turn of fate when Bella returned to her roots in the very end.

It was a foggy morning, cold and unpleasant; overall depressing. As usual. Embry had taken Hanna for a walk on the beach and Bella sat in Emily's kitchen, watching her friend breastfeed the black-haired boy in her arms.

Bella smiled, watching the tiny fingers clutch at Emily's chest, soft squishing sounds and whimpers filling the content silence.

It was a rare moment of peace, a moment where the loss and the almost's and the in vain's were, for once, absent. A moment like it should be all the time.

Laughter outside made Bella's smile brighten even more, her daughter's voice like bells to her ears.

Storming outside to have her daughter back from Embry's enthusiastic babysitting-nature, Bella tripped across the doormat, losing balance and falling down the five porch steps, her head hitting the ground first.

She pulled herself up before Embry even reached her and Emily appeared at the door with a scared and worried expression on her face. Bella waved her hand at their concern, rubbing her left ribcage and cuddling her daughter into her arms, inhaling the salty scent of her hair. Water, ocean. Sunshine.

They told her to see a doctor straight away but Bella only told them they were being overprotective, that the bruise on her ribcage and the tiny, tiny scratch on her left temple were nothing to worry about.

Bella spent that day at Charlie's house, Sue always being such an adorable sort-of grandmother to Hanna, playing with her as if she were her own child.

"Hit your head again?" Charlie asked in a matter-of-fact voice when Bella sat on the couch, the two of them laughing at her omnipresent clumsiness.

They had cake and tea, played with Hanna in the backyard, reading, talking. A nice day. Even the sun broke through the clouds from time to time.

Bella left her daughter with her father that evening, wanting to attend a bonfire with the others. Her last had been a while back.

She kissed her daughter goodbye after humming her to sleep, stroked her soft cheek with the tip of her finger, calling "See you tomorrow!" to Charlie and Sue and heading for First Beach.

It was two hours later when Bella started to feel a headache, ignoring it – not mentioning it to anyone.

Emily eyed her with concern the entire night, still worried about her. But she kept telling herself that Bella was old enough to take care of herself.

The sun set and Bella got up from the driftwood, taking off her shoes and slowly wandering towards the shore, dipping her feet into the cold, wet sand, water washing the dirt away each time the debris of a wave reached her.

The orange sky comforted her, reminding her more of her daughter these days than of Jacob. That thought hurt too much, so she instead concentrated on Hanna, on each of her features she could eye inside her head.

Emily smiled softly as she watched Bella standing in the water in front of the magnificent sunset, her own fingers intertwined with Sam's.

This picture would later become the memory Emily chose to be the last she had of Bella Swan. What followed – she decided to banish that from her mind.

Suddenly, Bella had just dropped to the ground, water splashing softly when she hit the damp sand beneath.

They rushed her to the hospital but her heart had already stopped beating the moment she lost consciousness. The doctors told them that her brain had been bleeding for several hours and that she had probably not been in too much pain before she passed.

They knew better, though.

It seemed odd to them – that after all these years of struggle and fight, Bella's heart just stopped beating. Just like that. That she gave up so easily.

o o o

And so she is gone. Disappeared just like Jacob had. Nowhere to be found anymore. Only in fading memories and pictures and the eyes of her daughter.

Charlie and Sue take Hanna because Billy is incapable of raising another child, too weak – having lost Bella as well giving him another break.

Renée, who arrives the day after Bella passed, and who might be the most capable person to raise her granddaughter, refuses to take the little girl away, away from La Push, away from her family, away from home.

The idea of forcing Bella's restless being into one dark place for the rest of time seems so inappropriate to all of them that they soon decide on burning her, her funeral being held this very morning.

They are all barefoot at the beach, damp sand clinging to their toes, the sun about to rise, a reddish glow already predicting the breaking dawn.

And when the sun finally breaks through the clouds and illuminates the day, they let the wind and waves carry Bella's ashes away, carry her to all places, letting her restless soul find peace.

There is not much talking – hurt, anger, sadness and frustration too present for everyone, no one strong enough to hold a speech – but they also know that Bella would not have wanted them to hold a memorial for her. It is simple and calm, peaceful.

They say their silent goodbyes, hoping that passing was the step Bella needed to finally find happiness.

o o o

It is the happy memories that run through Quil, Embry and Seth's mind as they stand at First Beach at sunset, the same place they had already been at this morning, a small fire burning and cracking by their feet.

They think of the motorcycles which are still hidden underneath a bush behind the garage, of cinema and homework, spaghetti dinners and cliff diving – every happy memory they ever received through Jacob's thoughts or witnessed themselves.

All they think about are the happy moments, the rare moments of peace, the moments in which Jake and Bells seemed reachable, possible.

Embry slowly opens his fist above the fire and three items fall into the orange flames. A picture of him and Jacob when they were seven, standing in front of the local store with ice-cream in their hands, both of them smiling brightly into the camera. A picture of Embry, Bella and Hanna on Emily's porch, the tiny baby wrapped securely in Embry's arms, Bella's hand caringly stroking the dark fluff of hair while her own head rested on Embry's shoulder.

And the postcard he once sent Jacob from New York City, full of chattering about the lights and the big houses and the girls.

Quil is next, a picture of him and an eleven-year-old Jacob next to a Harley Davidson – their faces full of admiration and envy – and a wooden hammer with an engraved dedication which Bella had bought him for his last birthday, joining Embry's memories in the fire.

The three of them sigh deeply as the last rays of sunlight glow on the far horizon and Seth finally kneels down next to the fire and pulls something small out of his back pocket.

It is a strange picture: the images slowly burning away, inch by inch turning into crumpled black debris of paper, the hammer turning shade for shade darker… and the tiny russet wolf slowly turning into ashes while the sun disappears beneath the ocean's surface.

"I bet he is complaining about us destroying hours and hours of filigree work right now," Embry sighs with a chaste smile on his face as he watches the burning beneath him.

For a second they are silent, only waves and cracking wood filling their ears. But finally, Quil starts laughing.

"Sure, sure," he says with a bright smile on his face, winking towards the very last inch of sunlight that hovers over the red water.

fin.