Disclaimer: One Piece is the property of Eiichiro Oda. Many of the characters in this story are property of me. Do not use this story or its characters without my permission. Thank you.
From down the hill a marching procession of people came. Under the escort of two knights of bear cavalry the villagers, headed by the stern young Emily, went walking nervously through the rows of fake nobility houses. They were all instructed at the beginning of their fake or otherwise lives that the people within those houses despised the glances of those who lived below, and peeking at those houses was not tolerated. The threat was enough to keep everyone in line. At the first mention of the state of the Paladin's barracks someone was taken from the line and thrown into the woods, so no one bothered asking any questions at all anymore.
Such strange events Emily thought can only be caused by some chivalrous outlanders like Sir Bard. I can only pray with my heart that he is still alright, and that the Demon fiend has not taken an attempt on his life. As the crowd of villagers got closer the heavy cloud of tension got thicker. Silent whispers circulated through the mass about what they expected to see upon entering the royal grounds. Once at the gates, the guards moved their mounts to the front of the crowd and began to give orders.
"You are all here as guests!" the guard shouted. "You must show absolute respect for your Great King at all times! Anyone not heard cheering for the king and his men will be immediately taken to the forest to be privately punished! Aiding the outlanders and Demons in anyway will result in imprisonment and a followed execution alongside the outlanders after they lose. Do not talk at the king or the princess! No one may leave, either. Once inside the palace grounds, you are expected to be on the best behavior of your life! Now, please enter and find a place to sit on the amphitheater seats."
The villagers started shuffling in, one after another, and they marched up the banisters and scaffolds of the bleachers that were set against the high stone wall. The anachronism of the scene struck something in Rez's head, as he was watching from what seemed to be a very high-up floor in the castle. Sports bleachers in a medieval setting?
"What the hell...?" Rez said with a smile.
"What's going on?" Zan asked, unable to move with all his bandages and casts and IV tubes secured tightly into his veins.
"They're making a sport of this" Rez said. "Apparently Colleen and Araly are fighting first and the villagers are going to watch on some stadium bleachers."
"That sounds weird" Zan weakly noted. "Where are the captains?"
"In a corner" Rez said "way away from the villagers and the fights. I guess Gretta doesn't want anyone pointing and screaming at them or anything."
"That makes sense" Zan said. "Unfortunately, that seems to be the only thing that makes sense right now."
"I know" Rez said exasperatedly. "I'm getting really fed up with this stupid island. I just want the log to set and get to the next one already!"
"Something bothers me" Zan said. Rez turned around and started walking towards his debilitated friend to give him more attention. "Why is that princess making a sport of this? Why is she so set on watching us trounce through her finest guards and knights? Why are we, outsiders that they see as Demons and knaves, still alive?"
"I can answer that" a mysterious woman's voice said. A nurse stepped out from the shadows with a contagion mask on her mouth and coke-bottle glasses over her eyes to hide her identity. She had shock-white hair swirled up in a bun and a short singlet uniform of pure white. Most threateningly of all, she held a syringe like a knife right next to her face. "This island is a top-secret World Government ongoing experiment to test a dangerously contagious mind-control drug known as 'Pathos'. Most of the original subjects were exported twenty years ago from Impel Down, and the younger set are the offspring of those criminals who have been brought up under mind-controlled parents and an artificial world."
"...who the hell are you!?" Rez asked.
"AH!" the nurse exclaimed with total shock. "You don't know who I am?"
"Moreover, why should we care?" Zan groaned. The nurse gave an aggravated growl and stomped her foot.
"Not only have you insulted my fame" she said, tightening the grip on her syringe in one shaky hand, "but you force top-secret World Government information out of me!"
"We didn't know you were here!" Rez exclaimed. The nurse, in her rage, shattered the syringe in her hand.
"So you were ignoring me!?" she bellowed. Rez slapped his forehead and groaned loudly.
"Fine!" Rez shouted. "Who are you then?"
"I am Kurateka Kevorkia" she answered calmly, "but you can call me Kura or Teki. I also answer to Ms. Kevorkia or Babe and Cutie. My measurements are 40" 31" 36" and I have a mole on my left hip that looks like a seven-point star."
"..." Rez and Zan both replied with scowls. It was an awkward moment that passed as Kura realized just how much delicate information she had leaked.
"DAMMIT!" she roared. "Now I have to kill you! No one is allowed to know my measurements unless I'm dating them!!!"
"Just shut the hell up, will ya?" Rez sighed.
"I hope your ready, dude" Bard growled. "I never show mercy for people like you!"
"Bring it on kid" Ramone calmly taunted back. "I can easily obliterate you down to your filthy socks." The two pirate captains, one so nubile and unexperienced with the finer details of harsh pirating, and the other a ruthless murderer and marauder who is infamously known across the seas. They both stood apart, Bard glaring down at Ramone, and posed with their fists forward. They pumped their arms three times, and once again they both threw down their fists and made the same sign!
"Another tie" Ramone growled.
"Quit choosing what I choose!" Bard exclaimed. "You have rock, paper, or scissors to use, so quit using the same one that I choose!"
"Alright" Ramone said. "Tell me which one you're using so I know which one not to use."
"No way!" Bard shouted. "That's cheating! Let's just try again!" So three more throw downs and still they ended up tying. Bard sulked away to clutch his aching head while Ramone just stood bored in the shady, completely separated corner of the far-right garden they were in.
"This may take a while" Ramone thought out loud. "I should make sure Colleen isn't getting overwhelmed yet." Bard turned around, ready to 'fight' once more, and saw Ramone preparing to use his power. He reached slowly with his fingers in a plucking motion toward his right eye. Then, ever so calmly, he grabbed his eye and just pulled it out of his head.
"Does that hurt?" Bard anxiously whispered.
"It's not really my eye" Ramone said. Suddenly, his wing started peeling and long wings unfolded. The pupil grew outward and split apart to form black antennae and the rest of the eye formed into a vaguely dragonfly shape. "My entire body is a haven for insects and vermin alike. I'm a living human hive. This is a rare type of super-poisonous bug that can change shape. It's known as a 'Tengufly', and I can use it to observe things from far away."
"What if it gets eaten?" Bard asked, ignoring the fact that Ramone just pulled out his eyeball like he'd seen it before.
"Then I'll need an eye patch for a while" Ramone admitted. "These things are hard as hell to find, you know."
"That's freaking amazing!" Bard shouted in admiration. Ramone just softly groaned at the overly excited young man he was staring at and let go of his eye. It flew high up and then swooped down to land on the unattended shoulder of a young woman in the crowd. Ironically, it was Emily who Ramone's eye perched upon, and she didn't notice at all. She was too engrossed in awing over the two young women out in the battlefield preparing for battle. Colleen calibrated her Hell Tiger arm cannon and tried to avoid toughing her horridly burned skin, while Araly looked through the deck of alchemic ink cards she'd written. Araly couldn't help but notice Colleen's arm and decided to be proactive.
"Do you need a bandage for you arm?" Araly asked very neutrally. Colleen, too shy about her condition to be sure about an answer just tensed up and started mewing in confusion. "Here, hold out your arm." Araly retrieved some bandages with ocean blue streaks of glowing ink. Colleen decided to trust her friend and held out her arm with the metal fixture mechanically drawn back to her side. Araly carefully went around her arm and bandaged the whole thing up to the fingers.
"Why is it glowing?" Colleen frightfully asked.
"It's a cooling agent" Araly explained. "That way when you use your cannon the heat won't hurt you anymore. Now, I'm not a doctor, but your arm should start looking better if you keep that on for a while, okay?"
"Really?" Colleen asked. "It'll...it'll look normal again?"
"It may be a little scarred" Araly said "but yeah, it'll look pretty normal." Colleen blushed. She had never gotten so much kindness out of one person before, at least not without something in return. Colleen quickly reduced herself to crouching and palming her face in embarrassment while Araly continued to prepare. Araly's arsenal consisted of paper and cloth, hardly the stuff that could qualify as weaponry. However, Araly was the only one present who knew at all about the secrets of alchemy. She had the obvious advantage of wielding 'magic' that the civilians were so fearful of after seeing the Paladins using it one year ago.
I can't be scared right now Araly told herself. I need to concentrate. I'm a pirate. I'm a pirate! I need to fight like a pirate, like a crew member! I have to win for Bard's sake and for Rez and Zan and everyone else! I...I'm not scared at all! I'm ready!
"I'm ready!" Araly shouted. "Where's my opponent?" Gretta looked over from her high seat over the crowded bleachers and nodded to the guards at the door to open the front gate of the castle.
"Don't worry" Gretta called elegantly. "I'm sure you won't be disappointed."
"My daughter" Rupert began, "you aren't sympathizing with these people are you? They are outlanders! We can't afford to go easy on them at all, whether they be man woman or animal!"
"I am aware, father" Gretta said. "We must hope that Edmund and Morgan can hold those same merits and not disappoint us." Rupert drew back from his daughter when he heard the names. Obviously, those were enough to please him and give him a wide and confident smile.
"My people!" Rupert bellowed from his higher seat above the villagers, "the truly righteous shall win this day!" Cheering followed after his words. "I graciously introduce the opponents of these challenging outlanders! Sir Edmund the White and Lady Morgan the Strong!" The gates of the castle opened with a glaring halo of pure white behind the two mighty figures that came stepping out. One hone brightly, reflecting the light with his platinum and pearly white plate armor, the other stood tall and gruff with her portable loom glistening in the natural sunlight. The clouds were finally all gone, and an infinite blue sky stretched overhead.
"Here they come" Araly said. Her arms were crossed sternly and her longest silken scarf billowed beautifully in the breeze. Colleen stood up and clutched her right arm out of shyness. The girls stood firm while their enemies squared up against them. Edmund equipped his circular shield in one hand and a shining sword in the other. Morgan took out a heavy cape of clean light-blue and snapped it in her hands like a belt.
"Excuse me" Gretta announced, "you're both wrong." The two fighters looked up from their opponents. "Please switch, you two. You're facing the wrong people." After an exchange of awkward and quizzical glances, Morgan and Edmund switched places. Now they were staring down their correct adversaries.
"'Ello here" Morgan lowed.
"What a pretty face" Edmund said aside to himself. "She and I share some great things in common!"
"I can hear you" Colleen said. Edmund made a sort of quizzical, inattentive grunt at her in response.
A sharp whistle summoned a fleet of armed nurses. They wielded bone saws and syringes full of strange liquid and all had the same identity-hiding techniques of their superior Kura. Rez drew out his twin gunblades and stood near Zan, ready to fight.
"Kill them both!" Kura ordered. "They made me tell them my measurements! Also they know about the island!" The nurses rushed in at Rez, apparently unaware that his short swords could shoot at them. He fired twenty times, ten shots from each gun before reloading, and the bullets threw each nurse away before bounding to the ground.
"Rubber slugs" Rez said, slowly reloading. "Trust me, ganging up on a duelist is a really bad idea. I'm trained to take people out in a fair match and to eliminate any unfairness in a duel. Unless you can shoot a fly out of the air with a stern-side cannon loaded with frozen grapes, you better give up while you can. I'm an invincible duelist!" Kura felt uneasy. Rez pointed his guns at her and leaned his head back.
"Quit showing off and just kill her" Zan groaned. "You're guns hurt my ears."
"Shut up!" Rez growled. "You're supposed to be comatose!"
