Notes: I began this a few days ago, bearing in mind that it would be short but necessary, but it became much longer when I discovered the joys of writing RJL's point of view. His "heightened senses" is just a guess; I don't know if that's really true. And I just made up Peter's orientation. I didn't proofread this very much, so please let me know what you think of it and point out any mistakes I made! In other words, R&R would be lovely. :]
Chapter #12: Moony and Prongs
The ceiling of the Great Hall was a dull grey, an unsurprising aftermath after last night's terrible squall; however, it seemed as though most of Hogwarts' residents hadn't heard the tempest at all last night, though many appeared to be in a terrible mood.
The Great Hall was packed full of hungry students as they all squirmed in to get to their rightful House Table. Ravenclaws, Slytherins, Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors all scrambled to get the first helpings of the best breakfast dishes.
People shoved past James Potter, grumbling about slow, obtuse wizards and glaring at those who fit such a description regardless of their usual popularity level. James was noticing none of this, which was odd enough since he was not used to such ill treatment by his usually adoring peer admirers. He was hurrying as well, not for food, but for a certain friend of his.
Remus John Lupin was ravenous, having had had a very early dinner the previous night at Hogsmeade with his fellow Marauders—not including Prongs, of course—and hit the sack unusually early, which had resulted in his skipping the school's provided supper. His stomach grumbled with utmost satisfaction as he shoved into his mouth the very first piles of scrambled eggs on the Gryffindor table.
"Ahh," he choked out before proceeding on pleasurably with his fodder. However, his third mouthful was hindered when a hand shot out and slapped his back twice.
"Easy there, Moony," said a familiar voice. "You stuff anything else in your mouth within the next five seconds, and I'll be performing the Heimlich maneuver on you in a jiff." James sat down beside his best friend and helped himself to a few strips of bacon.
Remus meant to say sure, sure thing but only flecks of egg and inaudible muffles of sound escaped from his mouth. He swallowed and heaped his plate with even more food, not bothering to repeat himself.
"Had a good one yesterday, mate?" he said instead, nudging James with his elbow. "Get any action, or was it just an epic failure as usual?"
"What?" James was momentarily distracted, and Remus caught him glancing farther down the table to where Sirius was eating with just as much enthusiasm as everyone else with little Peter, Jacques Burrows and a few other Gryffindors. Then, he turned his head to the opposite way and cringed to get a glimpse of Lily.
Remus heard James utter a slight whine, almost under his breath but not inaudible to the most sensitive of eardrums. His own eyes skimmed over Lily and noticed with impossible acuity that there was a dab of butter unnoticed on the side of her rosy-lipped mouth. He looked back at James, never moving his face more than an inch to make sure he still appeared indifferent, and spotted an expression that was clearly of longing and desire.
Moony's five senses had heightened extremely and incredibly ever since he'd been bitten and gotten used to the ways of werewolf living. It had been one of the few advantages of becoming a monster, or that was how he'd thought of it.
Presently, he felt grateful for this particular "advantage" and wondered silently and curiously what James was up to, for he could feel that something was unsettling his restless friend. After all, it was unlike him to stock up on bacon and not eat it immediately. At the moment, however, he did not allow anything to occupy the central part of his mind besides the four pieces of toast he was downing.
Personally, Moony thought this whole affair was a lost cause; being the keen observer that he was, he figured Lily "The Carrot" really did hate poor old Prongs and was too stubborn to really ever reconsider her negative opinion of the Marauders.
Though Remus hadn't had the bad luck of finding a desirable witch who thought him to be scum, just watching the drama from afar made him feel rather bad for his ambitious friend. He was actually beginning to think James felt something more for this girl other than just I-dig-you lust. A few days ago, when Remus had inquired his friend's chase for Evans, James's responses had been so defensive that poor Remus couldn't help but think that something about Lily had changed the old chap somehow in a way that previous crushes hadn't.
It was just bad luck that "the final one" resented him passionately.
"James? Hello, mate!" He waved his hand impatiently in front of James's face. "I said, to put it briefly, how did your date go?"
"Quite swell," James said with a grin, turning back to his friend. He cleared his throat, took a bite of bacon and chewed slowly. "Listen, Moony…"
"What?"
"I, er, have got something to say."
"Okay. Go on, then, get cracking." Remus pretended to pay more attention to his corn-on-the-cob, but his ears were straining for the first sounds of some sort of confession or other.
"It's Sirius. Did you hear him mumbling last night?"
This caught Remus off-guard, for it wasn't what he was expecting. "Uh. No? Gone mad, has he? Been muttering in his sleep about some kangaroos, has he?"
"Not quite," said James, and all of a sudden, Remus could tell his friend was being very serious. Serious about Sirius. "It wasn't kangaroos, Moon, but Lily Evans. The Lily Evans."
"Oh…" Remus was suddenly very interested in a large platter of scrumptious-looking crumpets. He took three and immediately wolfed down the first. He didn't know what James could hear, but his own heartbeat was as loud as a horse's hoof on the ground.
"Oh, as in you heard him too? Or oh, you don't care? Or oh, you know something I don't?"
"None of them." The second crumpet was gone in seconds.
"Well, could you please talk to me, at least? Dammit! You're the psychiatrist of our bunch here…" James was right on that point.
Dr. Moony was what they called him sometimes; Peter had confessed to him once
that he was "the most understanding chap he knew" and that he was the only one he could "tell him about his 'fess-ups'." Indeed, Moony had yet to tell another wizard or witch that Peter Pettigrew had a crush on Hufflepuff Mark Winfield; who knew the squeaky creature was gay?
It didn't bother old Moony that his friends took him for a "psychiatrist"; they were always there for him as well, and he didn't mind being the shoulder. It rather pleased him on the contrary.
But this, no. He could not.
And he'd really been hoping this wouldn't come up.
"Buzz off, Prongs. I don't like getting into the middle of things. This is between…well, between you and anybody but me."
James snatched the third crumpet from Remus's hand and smashed it down. "R.J., what's going on? Has Sirius talked to you about something I don't know? Why would he be mumbling about Lily in his sleep?"
"I don't know…" Remus mumbled. He could see the anxiety in James's eyes and looked down. God, this wasn't right. He rarely acted in this uncertain way and James rarely mistrusted the Marauders. Hell, none of the Marauders mistrusted each other…usually.
"Remus, really now, mate! You've got to tell me…is Sirius in love with Lily? Is that it? Is he?" James's eyes were bigger than Galleons now and he was clutching Remus's wrist with surprising strength.
"Dude, chill." Remus yanked his arm away and held a spoon up to his mouth, but James slipped it from his thumb and forefinger, put it down and begged, "Remus, please tell me what you know. I can't ask Sirius himself; he's not serious enough and will do nothing but joke around and avoid my questions."
Remus glared at James for a moment and then sighed. "Honestly, mate, I have no idea what's Lily to Sirius. But you said he mumbled about her last night in his sleep, which really doesn't surprise me. So…I must admit…" he closed his eyes and knew he would regret saying the next four words. "I do have theories."
"Theories?"
Remus looked up to meet James's narrowed eyes. "Well, ever since that day we all first saw Lily, he's been acting different."
"What do you mean?" At this, Prongs turned quickly and anxiously over at Sirius, who was still laughing and joking innocently with everyone else, and then returned his attention to Remus.
Remus groaned softly, wishing he had just left the table while he'd had the chance. Girls weren't the only victims of James's amazing persuasive skills; it was hard to ever deny his mate's pleadings for more food, more parchment, and—in the current situation—more information. "You see, yesterday when you ran off with Car—Evans, Sirius was particularly reluctant to leave. He seemed—really—upset about you leaving with her. It was like he didn't want to not know where you guys were going, what you guys were going to do. And before that, during the whole Malfoy incident, he was running off to Lily with you and he looked extremely pissed off about what Malfoy did.
"And when you tried catching up with her so many times to talk to her and befriend her, he was always beside you like before and there was that…look on his face that clearly showed he wanted to follow. Or, better yet…it was like he wished he'd gone to her first. Before you."
Remus had his head down, feeling regretful and ashamed for sharing such information. It wasn't like him to gossip, especially not about his own best friends.
However, he kept a hardened expression; now that he'd spilled his knowledge, he was determined on keeping a neutral position. He did have a position on this.
"Sirius…and Lily?" James uttered in a whisper, almost a growl under his breath. The tone clearly expressed deep resentment for the title.
"Mate…don't be upset at Sirius," Remus said quietly but firmly.
"I'm…I'm not," James replied unconvincingly. "I'm just surprised. And confused."
Remus looked up. "Why are you confused? Lily Evans is a very desirable witch this year; there are many other blokes who have been trying to get her attention besides The Marauder Twins."
"Really?" James's eyes widened; Remus knew he didn't like the idea of even more competition. "Besides Snivellus, too?"
"Yes, besides him. If you pay more attention to your surroundings, Potter, you might find something more interesting than your hair and that Snitch," Remus said in a rich voice, mimicking their strict, old-fashioned Transfiguration teacher.
James did not even twitch.
"How could Sirius do this to me? He knows Lily's my girl…he knows how strongly I feel about her—!"
"Well perhaps he feels the same way," Remus interrupted. "James. Lily. Is. Not. Your. Girl. She's not anybody's girl. She's not some sort of lottery prize, you know."
"I know, I know that," his friend said impatiently. "What I mean is…look, Sirius is my best mate, and I'm his best mate. Why did he have to go on and choose the one witch, the one person—?"
"With love, you don't get to choose at all," broke off Remus again, wisely. "You don't think Sirius wanted to fall for her, do you? He already knows how she feels about us, and worse, he knows his best friend is already after her. Why would he choose to chase her as well? He's not a prat."
"Well, what should I do then?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing? Trust me, Moony, I don't want to confront Paddy about this at all, but if we keep secrets hidden from each other, then we're not even the Marauders anymore."
"Do nothing unless you want to lose your best mate," Remus told James, fighting the urge to slam his fist down on the table. "Honestly, James, is a girl much more important than the lad you've been hanging out with for years? I don't think so. Besides," he finally picked up his spoon and quickly ate its contents before James could stop him, "Sirius will confront you when he's ready. I'm sure of it. Just leave it alone now and focus on your own chasing or whatever it is you all are doing."
Remus was secretly glad that he wasn't apart of this rat race, for he was sure nothing good would come out of any of it.
James's head was reeling with thoughts, emotion and knowledge.
Sirius loves Lily. Sirius loves Lily. Sirius loves Lily!
Logically, he knew there was no way to know this for sure, but after all Remus had just spilled on him and after last night, he was sure there was no way that he was wrong in his assumption.
Sirius loves Lily.
My Sirius. My Lily.
It was too much. A headache was just beginning to form underneath his temples, and James stood up with his head in his hands. He passed Remus and other Gryffindors with the childish goal of running away from his problems. Literally.
"Prongs? Prongs! Where ya headed? Wait for me, man!" Sirius's voice clouded in James's already stuffed mind. He heard the stool creak and quickly called back.
"Need air. Later."
James was running before Sirius could say anything else. He passed several other students, waking up too late for breakfast, and sprinted until he was outside in the school courtyard. He stopped at a stone wall. Luckily, he was all alone.
The air was cool and the sky was grey. Autumn was well into its course and leaves were beginning to change color rapidly; all the trees—big and small, tall and short, young and old—looked like they were on fire.
James slid down from the wall onto the browning grass and laid his head upon the cold stone. He closed his eyes, unsure of what to think or how to think anymore.
It felt very uncomfortable—it even hurt—to know that Lily didn't return his feelings. But he was still trying to decide whether it was even worse knowing that his best friend loved his love, but not knowing what his love felt for his best friend.
"Can I help you?" said a familiar voice. A very familiar voice. Like a harp.
James looked up to see a beautiful, glowing, red-headed witch looking down at him with curious eyes. She looked like an angel.
